【Mo Mao】Best Actor

, the sense of touch is aggravated, the fingertips seem to be pulled into a steamer, wrapped in hot air, scorching hot, scalding hot.

Fortunately, the man quickly let go of his hand and said to him softly, "Don't move."

He slowly put his hands down, put them on his knees, and took a deep breath to relieve the tension, expectation and anxiety in the darkness.

There were clear and countable footsteps, someone came behind him and sat on another chair back to back with him.When the man sat down, he could clearly feel the friction of the cloth and when the body touched the chair.

"start."

The sound of the beginning made his heart lift up.Even though he doesn't know the plot and has no lines to memorize, he still feels that a nerve is tense.

How strange, obviously invisible, still have pressure.What kind of person behind him actually wants to play against him at close range, what kind of character it is, can make Mo Yu feel embarrassed.

He said the beginning, but remained silent. He waited, waited, but he didn't see the person behind him speak for a long time, so he began to think wildly: Is it really not, is it a pantomime?

"Mao Mao."

Surprised, excited, involuntary, involuntary, as if reunited after a long absence, suddenly overjoyed.

"... Xuanying."

Restraint, hesitation, suppressed emotions, throat hoarse, as if he had come close, but stopped abruptly, knowing that no matter how close he was, yesterday was right and now is not.

In the silence that fell again, Mu Xuanying wowed in her heart.

Two calls, the judgment is like a world, as expected of Mo Yu.It's a pity that he was blindfolded and turned his back, so he couldn't see the expression on his face, and fortunately he couldn't see, just listening to the voice already made him palpitate, and if he had to meet his eyes again, he was afraid that he would be led away again.

The man laughed lowly, but his throat seemed to be choked by something, he spoke slowly, and his meaning was delayed, as if it took a lot of effort to confide word for word.

"Compared to when you were a child, you haven't changed at all."

***

... For a while, I often dreamed of you, you were so small, just a little bit big, following me, running stumblingly, telling me to wait for you.

I don't wait for you. I'm a few years older than you, and I take two or three steps with one step. If I can match your speed, then how slow I have to go.

I walked on my own, and gradually I couldn't hear you calling me.Probably I walked too fast and left you far behind.

I want to take a look back and see where you have been, my neck seems to be stuck, and I can't turn it back at all.

By the time I can turn around, you're gone.

Then I woke up, sitting on the bed thinking, have I really done this before, you told me to wait, and I still have the heart to ignore you.

The more you think about it, the more confused you become, and you can't even remember what your face looked like, but it was clearer in your dream: you have a round face, and when you pinch your cheeks, you will slap me angrily and tell me to let go.

It would be great if people don’t grow up. It’s fun when you’re young. You’ll respond when you poke it. If you stare and curl your lips, I can only tease you. You can’t even kick me.

It's a good thing that you don't hold grudges, and you forgot that I bullied you with your face turned away, and ran over jokingly, asking me to take you to play.

I don’t know if you still remember, there is a box of building blocks, made of wood, painted with paint, and the shapes are very simple, such as squares, rectangular blocks, cylinders, and triangles, which can be piled up to form a castle.It's a pity that it is too old and incomplete.

I've been with you many times, and each time it's a little less, I'll find something else to replace it.

Bite the radish into a square, stuff it in, and just hold it up.You are very happy to see that the stack is finished, stand up and jump, and accidentally knock down the castle...

What else can I do, build it again from the beginning, I am the one who suffers, I can't let you make yourself cry.

When it's winter, you don't play with blocks.It was too cold, my fingers and ears were covered with frostbite, my head shrank, and my nose was red.At night you will shrink into my quilt, arched in like a ball of ice.

Then the ice cubes became hot, warm and soft.I don't know whether you were warmed by me, or there was a fire inside you that warmed me up.

In the morning, my head was stuffed under the quilt.You got your head out first, and you were so cold that you pushed me hard: it’s snowing!

I haven't woken up yet, squinting my eyes and asking: Do you want to play?

You nodded, thought for a while, then shook your head again, it was too cold.

I'll pat you: go if you want, wait for me to get up.

You said you should go and have a look first, and wake me up if the cold is still bearable.

I complied with you and continued to sleep.

This sleep was too long, and when I got up, they told me that a good family wanted to adopt you and took you away.

I thought at the time that I must be dreaming. I bit my arm a lot, it hurt, and there was a circle of teeth marks.

I pulled my legs and ran out.

I must have not caught up. I was brought back in the middle of the night, and my feet were almost frozen.They all laughed at me, saying that you left by car, and I couldn't catch up even if I ran to death.

... fluffy.

I have a headache.

Wait a minute, hiss——

I'll tell you again when the pain is over.

All right.

Where did it go?

...It was almost the end of that winter before I figured it out, and when I figured it out, I was about to die of anger.

They took you away and left as soon as they said they would. No one thought of telling me, no one asked my opinion, and no one told me if you left me anything.

Counting from the moment you were thrown at the gate of the yard and brought in, the person who was with you the most was me.

Even if you want to leave, shouldn't you tell me?

You have been calling Brother Xiaoyu for several years, is it fake?Oh, you are still a child, and I am not an adult, so the years when I was with you every day, we broke up as soon as we said goodbye.

Cough, cough...

It's okay, I don't have a headache.

I was naive at that time, and I made a lot of noise, telling them to find you back, or tell me where you are, and I will find you myself.It's a pity that no one will take my words seriously, and guard against me strictly. The drawers in the house should be locked and locked, and you should not mention your name in front of me.

They thought I could forget about it.

They almost succeeded.

After a long time, I believed that I was hysterical.

There has never been you in the world, it's all in my imagination.Originally, I have no other playmates except you.The older ones can't beat me, and the younger ones are afraid of me.

It's okay if no one pays attention to me. When I leave, they will be overjoyed, like sending away a plague god.

I didn't take anything, just took a block.

You know that the happiest thing about building blocks is that all the positions are in place, except for the top spire.Once the spire falls and the castle is complete, you'll be clapping your hands and laughing.

I took the piece of the spire.

... Smoking is not allowed here, forget it, let me drink some more water.

After I left the courtyard, I wandered around for a while, doing some chores here and there, with nothing to say, and learned a lot of skills, both good and bad.

When I worked part-time in a video store, I was in my 20s. I grew a beard and didn't bother to shave. People thought I was too old.

To be honest, I didn't recognize you at first sight because I haven't thought about you for a long time.

Besides, you have grown up too, you are in your teens, and you are quite tall.

You came in with a few classmates, wearing the same school uniform, a white short-sleeved shirt, and a school badge pinned on it.I saw the school badge, I know which middle school you are from, the key city, good students.

You lead the way to the tapes, point to a box and introduce them excitedly, then you take the box down and walk up to me to pay.

I said it was for trial listening, and the box hasn't arrived yet, so this box is not for sale.

Your face immediately collapsed, your eyebrows drooped, and you asked me again if I could sell it to you.

I said that I was a part-time worker, and my words didn't count, so don't make things difficult for me.

You don't bother me anymore after listening, you took out an exercise book from your schoolbag, tore off a page, and wrote a string of numbers.

You said it was your home phone number, please let me call you when the tape arrives.

I said I was not free and had no money to call.

You were not angry, just smiled and left, but your classmate even groaned at me a few times.

I stuffed that piece of paper into my trouser pocket, and when I was about to wash my clothes, I found it in my pocket. I wanted to throw it away, but after thinking about it, I forgot.

When the tapes arrived, I remembered this and called your home.

It's your adoptive father who answers the phone.

He told me that Mao Mao was not here, he thanked me for you and said he would tell you.

I said, so his name is Maomao, I also knew a man named Maomao before, the orphanage in which district and road...

Before I finished speaking, he suddenly became fierce, asked me who I was and what I wanted to do, and warned me not to have evil intentions.

It's okay if he doesn't threaten me, I understand now.

Oh it's you.

……Ah.

He didn't tell you about this.I guess so.

You haven't been to the video store again, so I left an extra cassette for you.

If I can't wait for you, I'll just squat at the gate of your school.

There are three schools in the school. I don't know your name, and I don't know which grade or class. You can only rely on luck.

I was really lucky, I only squatted for two months, and I was squatted.

I was waiting for pancakes that morning, the batter had just been rolled out, the eggs had just been cracked in, and there was a jingle, jingle, and you came on your bike.

The pancakes were immediately forgotten by me and I ran right in front of you.You were startled and stunned, the bicycle swayed left and right, twisted its wheels and stopped in front of me.

You got out of the car quickly, apologized to me first, and asked me if I was okay.

I stared at you for a while and said: Tape...

You just recognized me: Uncle, it's you.

I was blown away by the sound of uncle, who is to blame, I just squatted down and forgot to shave, I almost didn't hear what you said later.

You said your dad told you to concentrate on your studies and listen less to pop songs, so you were so obedient that you never went to the video store again.After this exam is over, if you go to buy that tape again, you are afraid that it will be out of stock by then.

You talked to me for a while, and left before class.

I've been watching you from behind, and I didn't leave until you walked through the gate and turned a corner, blocked by a wall.

When I got back, I quit my job at the video store.

I went to cut my hair, shaved my beard, changed into a set of clean clothes, and squatted at the school gate like a dog waiting for you to leave school.

In the evening, the students ran out in a rush. I was looking for you among many villains, so I was afraid that I would miss you in a blink of an eye.When I see you, my eyes will be sore.

You were still riding that bike, passing me by in a swish, without turning your eyes.

Fortunately, there were so many people, you didn't dare to ride fast, so I could keep up.

When you entered a narrow alley, got out of the car and pushed, I followed behind, thinking about how to talk to you.

I specially brought something here, and stuffed it stiffly in my trouser pocket.

Seeing that you were about to walk out of the alley, I quickly called a kid who was squatting on the side of the road over, gave him the things and a handful of change, and told him to pass the things to you, let alone me.

The child ran up quickly, grabbed the back seat of your car, and when you turned around, stuffed it into your hand and ran away.

I saw you stopped, stood there motionless, and then stretched your neck and looked around, as if looking for someone.

I pretended to be calm and walked forward. Your eyes stopped on me and turned away to others.

I guess you didn't find it, you pushed the car and continued walking, head down, at a much slower speed.

I also slowed down and walked with you to a park. You parked the car at the door, and people were about to go in.

I see that you didn't even lock your car. I was afraid that someone would steal your car, so I had to tell you to come back and lock it.

You thanked me with a heavy heart, bent over and locked the car without even looking at me.

I looked at the hair twirling on the top of your head, and I was excited, yes, it is you, the hair is soft to the touch, and the face is also soft to the touch.

You walk into the park, sit down on a bench facing the artificial lake, take out a wooden block from your pocket, and watch silently.

I peeked from a distance, and compared the you I saw with the you I knew as a child.

The face is thinner and the chin is sharper, but the smell is still the same.

You sit there and stare at that old block and watch the sun go down.

I looked at you, and some words lingered in my heart until the sky darkened a little bit.

It wasn't like this at first, I originally thought, I would like to meet you, talk about my childhood, and ask how you are doing...

There is no need.

I know you remember, remember the block, and you must remember me.This is not enough.

I quietly sent you home that day, and I was afraid it would be unsafe when it was dark.

The house was beautiful, with red tiles and white walls, and carved iron gates.

You go in, and shortly after, a light comes on in a window on the second floor of the house.

I waited until the lights went out before leaving.

I told you not to be afraid, I followed you for a while.The investigation found out when you go to and from school, what you like to eat, where you go to make up classes, who is your best friend, and even met a girl who blocked you to confess your love.

The more I follow, the clearer I am, you are not Maomao.

You've come a long way from that kid who can't keep up with me.

The dream is reversed, it is not that I am striding forward, ignoring you at all, and leaving you behind.

It was you who left me far behind.

Is it still necessary, force you to recall the past with me, forcefully smile and say about the red and swollen chilblains on your hands, the incomplete number of building blocks, and say that you made an appointment with my ear, and we will be together for a lifetime, without anyone else.

……

It's so boring, why bother.

People are subject to change, either he changes, or I change.

I'm suddenly, bored.

Tired of doing nothing every day, just paying attention to you, I will waste myself to death if this continues.

So I ran away, took the train to another place, worked half a year at a stretch, and saved some money, which was enough for me to travel farther.

Winter is coming, it's too cold over there, I can't get through it.By accident, I found a reason for myself, and I came back again.

I got out of the train station, didn't go anywhere, and went directly to your door.

I touched it all at once, and that place is still engraved in my mind, it's not something I can forget if I want to.

When I got there, I found that the house had changed, with a different door, and the door was wide open, and it was all empty.

I asked someone to ask, and they told me that the son of that family had good grades and studied abroad, and the whole family moved away.

Where did you move to?have no idea.

Do you have a phone?Not too familiar, did not stay.

Oh……

I came all the way, my scalp was numb and my heart was tight.Right now, my mind is empty...

Tell me, brother Xiaoyu, we haven't seen each other for many years.

Did you say so?That day, in the underground passage, there was a man selling socks at a stall next to him.

I haven't seen you for many years.

Except I didn't tell you in the middle, I met you when you were in middle school.

That building block, I gave it to you.

You're such a good boy, you didn't even realize I was pretending.

I pretended to recognize you suddenly, and told you that I was the one you played with when you were young.

You even remembered that you still held my hand and wanted to make an appointment with me to chat.

Today, this day, we have talked.

I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore.

This is the only chance, and I have to say it all.

hairy...

At this point in my life, there are not many people who can make me care, and you are one of them.

From when I was a child, until I was 30 years old, you were the one who was on my mind the most.

Even if I think I can't remember clearly, I still dream about it in my dream.

But, almost, I've paid the price.

Afraid of the cold, I didn't get up to play with you in the snow, so I just missed you.

Cranky, without telling you the truth, you moved out of the country.

To be honest, to be honest, Maomao, before I met you this time, I really forgot about you.

The memories of childhood, dependent on each other, tired of every day, very beautiful.

It's so beautiful, it has delayed me for so many years.

Between people, feelings have to come out, the fault is too long, if you miss it, you miss it.

Maybe I ran back at that time and thought about what to do, such as retrieving our good friendship in the past.

No matter how you say it, no matter how nostalgic it is, it's meaningless.

It was the most important person in the past, but it may not be in the future.

Emotions can be cultivated, evolved, dissipated, and transferred.

It is also very fragile, an accident, a little misunderstanding, a separation, it will be completely consumed.

When I saw you in the underground passage that day and called you to stop, my heart skipped a beat.

It just clicked.

……

Don't say anything.

Besides, it's going to be annoying.

Thank you, great to have the opportunity to spit out some words.

I'll pay the bill and go first.

There is no need to say the word "goodbye".

***

The doorknob was twisted, the bolt retracted into the hole.

Someone opened the door and walked out gently.

The door closed quietly behind him.

It was quiet in the dressing room.

The only person here, with his back pressed against the chair, couldn't recover for a long time.

After an unknown amount of time, Mu Xuanying stretched her hand back and pulled it hard.

The gauze was untied, slipped down the bridge of his nose and lips, and landed on his lap.

As if he forgot how to breathe, he stared blankly at the void.

It was as if a large piece of the chest had been dug out. The place where the heart was supposed to stay was already empty.

Mo Yuren left.

It seemed that something was taken away by him.