Jinling love story

Sixian looked up in response to the reputation and was almost stunned.

"Uh...Dad, this is my classmate, the one who tutored me in English." Tong Zhe said, almost jumping to Xia Ranjiang's side. "This is my dad."

"what?"

Xia Ranjiang still seemed to be in a hazy state, thinking that he was sleepwalking.But seeing Tong Zhe's nervous and urgent eyes, he suddenly became sober, stood up straight and smiled.

"Hello, uncle."

Xia Ranjiang was a little embarrassed, he never expected to meet Tong Zhe's father in this way.I don't even know where to put my hands at the moment.If you wear a coat, you can still put your hands in the pockets of the coat, but now they can only hang on the sides, clenching your fists from time to time.

"Go back to your room first, don't come out."

Tong Zhe lowered his voice to Xia Ranjiang.Xia Ranjiang hurried back to the room like a frightened bird.

"In the future, you can sign up for a formal training course, and the money is not bad. I don't know how to sign up, but your sister-in-law should know how to do it. I'll call her sometime. How can you let yourself be free? You're going to go abroad in the future , It’s good for you to go out and have a look, and you’ll know what’s normal and what’s not, and you’ll know exactly what you want.”

Tong Zhe said nothing.If my guess is correct, my father should have been to my bedroom in the morning. As for what I saw, I don’t know, otherwise I wouldn’t have given a lecture as soon as I came back, and in the conversation just now, my father had already restrained himself—— As I thought, every time my father came back, his life would be difficult, except that he would have more money.

"Where's your mother?"

"Last night, I was on night shift and I haven't come back yet."

"Hmm." Tong Sixian stood up. "I'll pick up your mother first. You go to wash up. Let's go to your grandpa's house in the morning."

"it is good."

Tong Sixian dragged the suitcase, deliberately went around Tong Zhe's bedroom door, stopped, looked back at Tong Zhe sideways, and sighed softly.

Tong Zhe pushed open the bedroom door and saw that Xia Ranjiang was fully dressed and was sitting at the desk staring out the window blankly.

"I'm going back to school."

"You stay." Tong Zhe's tone was almost commanding.

"I heard everything." Xia Ranjiang looked at Tong Zhe helplessly.

"It's okay. I'll take you to my grandpa's house today. Just to see your headache."

"no need."

"No, this matter has nothing to do with you. It's because..." Tong Zhe seemed to have something to hide, he hesitated to speak.

"I'm going to tell my dad."

Tong Zhe opened the door, the door handle was broken, and a round hole was exposed on the door panel.

Xia Ranjiang grabbed Tong Zhe's arm, Tong Zhe threw it away forcefully, and rushed out the door.A few heavy footsteps sounded, Tong Zhe stood in front of Tong Sixian, Tong Sixian was taking out the clothes inside, saw Tong Zhe from the corner of his eye.

"Dad, Xia Ranjiang will go to grandpa's house with us later."

"Xia Ranjiang?"

Tong Sixian stopped with both hands, squinted at Tong Zhe, and the muscles in his cheeks tensed slightly.

"I want to take him with me." Tong Zhe pointed in the direction of the bedroom.

Tong Sixian put down the things in his hands, straightened up, his gaze was like a torch, forcing Tong Zhe to lower his voice and take two steps back.

"What did you say?"

Tong Zhe could almost feel his own heartbeat and dared not answer.

"You're pushing your limits, Tong Zhe."

Tong Sixian took a step forward.For Tong Sixian, after many years of hard work outside, the wind, frost, rain and snow, the warmth and coldness of human relationships have become commonplace.But in the face of his son, no matter how much he restrained his emotions, he would still feel a dull pain when he heard his son standing in front of him without any regrets and talking to him in a tone almost commanding.

"I want to be with him."

"If you still recognize me as a father, you will know what you should do."

Tong Sixian stared at Tong Zhe's forehead with his index finger.

"In the past, I'll just treat you as ignorant, let's forget it for now. I'll just turn a blind eye."

"What happened before?"

Tong Zhe was shocked and knew what Tong Sixian was referring to—although he and Xu Yang finally parted ways due to personality differences, but Tong Zhe accidentally heard that Tong Sixian went to Xu Yang's class teacher in private, and then found his parents. This makes sense Why Xu Yang behaved strangely.Now Tong Sixian's words confirm the rumors are true.Thinking of this, Tong Zhe felt as if a thick layer of hay had been buried in his heart. Green smoke rose from under the haystack, and the fire was about to devour everything.

"No matter how stubborn you are, if you don't know what is good or bad, if you don't change your ways, your life will be ruined."

"Correct evil and return to righteousness? What is evil and return to righteousness? I like men, so this is evil? Is it righteous to like women?"

"Snapped!"

A loud slap hit Tong Zhe's cheek, and immediately Tong Zhe felt a burning pain.Tong Zhe was almost stunned, unable to react for a moment.

"Bastard! I'm just too used to you!" Tong Sixian almost roared. "I gave you a chance to change, but you actually made an inch of it. You are a pervert!"

Tong Zhe lowered his head, clenched his teeth, his eyes were full of tears, and they were hitting the floor drop by drop.Suddenly feeling someone behind him, he turned around suddenly, and Xia Ranjiang was standing behind him.

"Uncle. I'm leaving. This is all a misunderstanding. Don't make things difficult. I'm sorry."

Xia Ranjiang stood up straight, bowed slightly, glanced at Tong Zhe again, turned and left.

"Xia Ranjiang, come back!"

The door closed softly.

Xia Ranjiang had just left the community when Tong Zhe's mother came back from get off work.

"Auntie, I'm going back to school first. Thank you for your hospitality yesterday."

"Oh, play at my house for a few more days. Tong Zhe doesn't have any friends, let alone such an excellent friend like you."

"I may not come in the future."

"not coming?"

The slightly tired smile on Tong Zhe's mother's face froze immediately, and before she could react, Xia Ranjiang had already walked away.Looking at the back of Xia Ranjiang going away, Tong Zhe's mother felt a little strange, and ran home in three steps at a time.

Pushing open the door, the smell of smoke in the air in the room rushed out, and the original faint fragrance of jasmine suppressed it. For a while, Tong Zhema even wondered if she had gone to the wrong door.After putting down her bag and changing her shoes, Tong Zhe's mother hurried to Tong Zhe's bedroom.

"Tong Zhe, Tong Zhe!"

"You're back? I'm going to the hospital to pick you up from get off work."

"Ah, it's you. I just met Tong Zhe's friend outside. I thought something happened. It turned out that you came home."

Tong Zhe's mother followed the voice and saw Tong Sixian smoking a cigarette sitting on a rocking chair on the balcony.Not so much smoking, but Tong Sixian remained as motionless as a sculpture, the cigarette in his hand was burning, and the ash fell on the floor piece by piece.Tong Zhe's mother quickly took the ashtray from the coffee table and put it in Tong Sixian's hand.

"Where's Tong Zhe?"

"In the bedroom." Tong Sixian took a puff of cigarette, and when she heard Tong Zhe's mother going to Tong Zhe's bedroom behind her, she turned her head and said, "Don't go to him. I'll let him reflect in the bedroom."

"Why do you let him think about it as soon as he comes back, you come in first, it's cold outside."

"I've been in Africa for a long time, and I need to find a cool place to stay."

Tong Sixian stubbed out the cigarette butt heavily, opened the balcony glass door, and entered the house. "Your son needs to be taken care of."

"What's the matter?" Tong Zhe's mother went up to meet her.

Tong Sixian then told Tong Zhe's mother what happened in the morning.

"Hey, I thought it was a big deal."

Tong Zhe's mother glared at Tong Sixian after listening.Tong Sixian thought he could get support, but Tong Zhe's mother's reaction surprised him.

"I've seen this kid before, and he's quite a nice kid. And it can be seen that Tong Zhe regards him as a real friend. You've been bluffing since you came back, and you haven't seen Tong Zhe's changes in the past six months. I think it's Xia Ran Jiang’s subtle influence. I also met Si Rui this morning. This child is Si Rui’s student. Si Rui is just as I thought, this child is very good. What’s wrong with sleeping together? There is a lot of meat. The boy is in We don't have so many scruples together, if we are coy, we won't be called boys."

"You are simply unreasonable. I see, you are used to it. There is nothing wrong with saying that a loving mother loses her children."

"I think you are overreacting. Since childhood, Tong Zhe was not allowed to play with this child, not with that child. Now he has no friends in the end."

"I overreacted? It will be too late when your son really goes astray. At that time, it will be useless to try your best to persuade him. It is better to stop thinking about him as soon as possible. I have decided. After finishing this school year, send He went abroad to avoid being polluted by the smoky environment in China."

"I dont go."

Tong Zhe didn't know when he left the bedroom and stood at the entrance of the living room.

"It's not a question of whether to go or not, it's a question of how much time you have to prepare. If you obey, you can wait until the end of this school year. If you don't obey, you will leave next week!"

"What are you doing! Are you two enemies in your previous life? You fight every now and then."

Tong Zhe's mother hurriedly grabbed Tong Zhe who was about to run out.

"Let me tell you, I have given you enough face in the morning. I have forgiven you for what happened a few years ago, and I didn't pursue it. I hope you can reform. This is the second time. You'd better rein in the precipice, don't As I get deeper and deeper, I just pretend that this never happened.”

"You said it!"

Hearing Tong Zhe's mother's accusation, Tong Sixian's eyes turned red with anger.Sitting down on the sofa, he lit another cigarette and took two puffs. The blue smoke came out of his nose, and the smell of smoke in the air became heavier again.

"Go and change your clothes, don't make your father angry. The turmoil in the early morning made the neighbors laugh. Clean up, let's go to grandpa's house today." Tong Zhe's mother pulled Tong Zhe to the door of the bedroom , and whispered: "Didn't I tell you an important thing yesterday?"

Tong Zhe was puzzled for a while, and suddenly understood, and calmed down a little.

Along the way, the three of them didn't say a word.Tong Zhe, who originally occupied the co-pilot's seat, sat in the back seat today with his head turned out of the window.Tong Zhe looked at his mobile phone from time to time, and the messages he sent fell into the sea, and the calls he dialed also disappeared. Occasionally, besides the text messages of telecommunications services, there were various game pushes that flashed on the screen.

"Eat an egg roll."

Tong Zhe's mother sat side by side in the back seat with Tong Zhe, and the atmosphere in the car made her really embarrassed.Suddenly remembered that there were still a few bags of snacks left over from last night's shift in the bag.

"Don't eat." The father and son said in unison.

"If you don't eat, I will." Tong Zhe's mother rolled her eyes. "It's not me who is hungry."

"Recently, the city's public security arrested three suspects in a burglary case with a total amount of 300 million yuan..." Maybe Tong Sixian also felt the awkward atmosphere and turned on the news program of the traffic radio.

"It's the end of the year, and sure enough, even thieves have started to buy new year's goods." Tong Zhema munched on the egg roll to herself. "Hey, Sixian, can the surveillance system at home be repaired? It hasn't been used for a long time."

"Just call and find a master to come and see if it's all right." Tong Sixian was a little impatient.

The car slowly drove into the small courtyard, and Tong Sirui was already waiting outside the gate.

"Dad, big brother is here."

Tong Zhe ran into the house with several bags of health care products and put them on the table in the middle.

"Bought these things for me again, and they all said that this thing is useless, it is purely a scam."

Grandpa came out of the kitchen and saw that the three members of the family were all together, and the wrinkles on his face became much deeper with a smile.

As usual, Tong Sixian turned to the back room, stood upright in front of the mother's portrait, knelt on the futon and kowtowed three times, stood up and lit three incense sticks, bowed three times, and put the incense sticks on the copper incense burner, After carefully wiping the incense ash on the portrait, he walked out with his head down.

At lunch time, the family sits around the dining table.There was a vacant seat next to Grandpa, and the dishes and chopsticks were already set.The others sat down one by one.

"How long are you going to stay this time?" Grandpa asked after taking a sip of his wine.

"Not necessarily, one or two months. There is no certainty about this matter, and sometimes it will work for several months in a row."

"Working hard outside, you have to take care of yourself. If you have nothing to do, call home to report that you are safe."

"Dad, I respect you."

Tong Sixian raised his glass and drank it down.

"When you do this kind of national project, you have to be more careful. The funds handled are hundreds of millions and billions. At a small scale, it is just an ordinary bridge and highway. At a large scale, this is a major diplomatic issue. It is for the country. With a long face."

"We usually pay attention to this."

"Brother, you all represent the image of the country now." Tong Sirui joked. "Come on, brother, I respect you, and I also respect the 'national image'!"

"Hey, Tong Zhe, what's the matter today, are you uncomfortable? Don't say a word."

Grandpa stroked Tong Zhe's head.Tong Zhe didn't lift his head, but forcefully pushed the rice into his mouth.

"Leave him alone."

"My grandson doesn't care." Grandpa frowned, put down his chopsticks, and lowered his head slightly to comfort Tong Zhe. "Are you arguing with your dad again?"

Tong Zhe kept silent, buried his head lower and lower, and kept sniffling.

"You have made a lot of trouble when you come back. I see, you'd better leave early, this family can't accommodate you anymore."

"Dad, you don't know, this kid is under discipline now, and it's embarrassing to say it."

"Eat, what are you talking about?" Tong Zhe's mother beat Tong Sixian with her chopsticks.

"I think you are the one who is undisciplined." Grandpa sternly said. "If you don't owe discipline, the little one in your family is still doing well now, and the two brothers won't end up with Tong Zhe alone. It's just you doing that project..."

"dad……"

Tong Sirui turned his head and stopped in a low voice.

"All right, all right, I'll listen to you. Come on, Dad, have a drink."

Coming out of Tong Zhe's house, Xia Ranjiang seemed to be in shock.I don't even know how I got back to school.Along the way, Xia Ranjiang ran through several red lights, always suspecting that all the strange eyes around him were following him, and his words and actions made things worse.

"Hey, you're back. Did you go to Tong Zhe's house again last night?"

He Xiaoyu got up from the bed and saw Xia Ranjiang entering the bedroom like a walking dead.

Xia Ranjiang didn't respond.He took off his clothes without a sound, leaving only his underwear, and climbed into bed silently.

"Xia Ranjiang, what's wrong with you? Why don't you speak?"

He Xiaoyu felt that something was wrong, so he poked Xia Ranjiang's shoulder which was exposed outside the quilt.

Xia Ranjiang only heard a low sigh, and then coughed twice.

He Xiaoyu did not continue to ask.Got out of bed, washed, dressed, and went out.After a while, he came back again, carrying several plastic bags in his hand, and put them on Xia Ranjiang's table.

"Xia Ranjiang, I bought some breakfast and put it on your table. Remember to eat it. I went to the library to study by myself."

He Xiaoyu stood on tiptoe and looked at Xia Ranjiang's bed, but he couldn't see anything except the back of his head.

"Go to sleep."

He Xiaoyu thought to himself.At first I wanted to continue asking, but I still walked out alone and closed the door quietly.

Lying on the bed, Xia Ranjiang felt as if his soul was out of his body. His body kept sinking into the mattress, but his soul kept floating up.The soul tried to integrate into the body again, but it was still difficult to return to its place no matter what.

A feeling of tearing caused Xia Ranjiang to fall into a severe headache again.Tears flowed down the corners of his eyes, and dripped on the pillow, wetting it all.Xia Ranjiang tried to take a few breaths, but more tears came out.In my mind, the words "reform evil and return to righteousness" are like four giant cauldrons, pouring on the nerves, making it difficult for me to turn over.But deep down in his heart, he knew that he liked Tong Zhe.Perhaps from the moment I first met Tong Zhe, a sprout sprouted in my heart.As time goes by, the buds gradually grow into seedlings, the seedlings grow into big trees, the big trees bloom and bear fruit, and the fruits are all the moment when two people are together.

He never doubted his feelings.The soft light cast from the sycamore tree in the afternoon of that day lit up the darkness that had been sealed in the depths of his heart for more than ten years, and he saw another colorful world like a butterfly turning into a cocoon.Even if it's a ridiculous reaction, but for him, it's all real—a real smile, a real body temperature, and a real look in his eyes.This kind of truth is crystal clear, round and smooth, without any dust other than emotion.It's just that today's scene, like a gust of wind and rain, tore apart the mirage in front of him, and in an instant, Xia Ranjiang was plunged into the darkness of the nightmare, and transformed into the shivering child in the corner, weeping and trying to piece together Fragmentation into countless pieces of reality.With his own face projected on it, Xia Ranjiang suddenly felt hideous.In a daze, Xia Ranjiang realized that the big tree was still growing in his heart, but under the heavy rain, the branches and leaves of the big tree withered and the fruits withered.

I sent a message back to Tong Zhe, and asked Tong Zhe not to disturb him for the time being with the excuse that I was very busy these days.Seeing that the message had been sent, Xia Ranjiang turned off his phone and fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up, it was another evening.

Xia Ranjiang picked up the phone and was about to turn it on, but after a moment of hesitation, he put it down and stuffed it under the pillow.It was never a case of sleeping all day.Xia Ranjiang, who had been short of sleep, seemed to have regained some energy at this moment. He slowly sat up and got out of bed. When he saw the food on the table, he happened to be hungry too. After wolfing down his meal, he felt much better.However, I don't know why the scenes of the past few months flashed before my eyes.Xia Ranjiang is good at this method of taking stock of the past, whether it is life or study.But at this moment, while Xia Ranjiang was calm, there was a trace of doubt—like a traveler walking into the desert, the mirage in front of him was ethereal and spectacular, projecting anesthetic-like expectations and joy in his brain.But in an instant, when the limbs regained their energy, the mirage of nothingness could not hide. A gust of wind passed by, and the Linlang Fairy Pavilion gradually faded and disappeared in midair.

A question struck Xia Ranjiang's reason: Is the source of all these joys and pains buried in his inner nature, or the comfort left by his lips and teeth?

Unable to answer.But it must be answered.

There was no one around, Xia Ranjiang turned on the computer, just to prove whether he had really changed.

At this moment, Xia Ranjiang had already got the answer.However, he was not reconciled.

Second time, third time, fourth time, fifth time, sixth time, seventh time.Xia Ranjiang didn't stop until he almost lost consciousness.

At this point, the desire has completely disappeared.The blank brain was actually occupied by Tong Zhe's images again - not Tong Zhe's sense of touch, but the moments that made me smile.

The answer is already clear.Xia Ranjiang slapped himself violently—not because of the disappointment and blame for his downfall, but because he inadvertently let himself fall into the abyss of taboos because of curiosity and innocence, and continued to fall, fall...

It's because of my own nature, and it has nothing to do with desire.

But Xia Ranjiang did not give in.As if possessed by a demon, Xia Ranjiang was in a trance for a while.As if guided by a certain voice, Xia Ranjiang got dressed, logged into the campus network, and made an appointment for the school's psychological counseling room—the latest schedule is tonight, and there is still the last spot left.

After the appointment was over, Xia Ranjiang quickly tidied up the desk, went downstairs, rode a bicycle, and went to the student activity building against the cold wind.

The psychological counseling room is on the fourth floor of the student activity building.At this moment, the street lights were fully on, Xia Ranjiang put away his bicycle and entered the hall.The inside was empty, and from time to time, two or three student volunteers came out of the elevator, talking and laughing.Following the address, Xia Ranjiang found the psychological counseling room.

Standing at the door, Xia Ranjiang saw the golden sign hanging on the door with the words "Psychological Consultation Room" written on it.Xia Ranjiang stood up straight, feeling his heart beating faster.Looking around, there was no one except the dark corridor.Riding against the wind was too fast just now, and my fingers were almost numb.Xia Ranjiang stretched out his hand for a few breaths, and was about to knock on the door, but when his knuckles were about to touch the door, Xia Ranjiang hesitated again.Suddenly, Xia Ranjiang was startled by the sound of police sirens outside, and he slammed on the door in a panic, but the sign on the door fell down unbearably.Xia Ranjiang quickly knelt down and picked up the sign.Just as he was about to hang it up, there was a "please come in" from inside, Xia Ranjiang didn't know what to do, so he had to hold the sign or push the door to enter.

"Hello, classmate."

Xia Ranjiang stood at the door with a face of embarrassment.In front of me is a middle-aged aunt who is about 50 years old, with brown curly hair, black-rimmed glasses, and a light yellow cotton-padded jacket.In front of the seat is a simple desk with a computer and basic books on it.On the left is a light green sofa.The four walls are covered with wallpaper, which are filled with various landscapes, animals and plants, and the images of rainforest, grassland, sky and ocean are naturally transitioned.Being in it, Xia Ranjiang suddenly felt a lot of pressure relieved.

"Student, please sit down."

Xia Ranjiang followed his aunt's gestures, found a round stool that looked like a stake, and sat down against the wall.

"Hehe, this brand keeps dropping. It has dropped three times today. Don't hold it, it's dirty. Just put it on the table. Hurry up tomorrow, I have to find a master to make another piece."

Xia Ranjiang smiled a little embarrassedly, got up slightly, and moved closer to put the sign on the edge of the desk.He glanced at the nameplate on the desk, which said "Huang Yuemei".

"Tell me, what's the matter. Come here, say what you have in mind, don't hide it."

As Huang Yuemei said, she turned around and quickly took out a paper cup from the drawer, took half a cup of hot water, put a tea bag in it, and put the tea on the small tea table beside Xia Ranjiang with both hands.Xia Ranjiang was a little flattered, and quickly protected her with his hands.

"Take a sip of hot tea first. Look at your sweaty head." Huang Yuemei said with a smile, the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes turned up.

Xia Ranjiang only felt that the cold was coming all the way, but he didn't realize that beads of sweat were already oozing from his forehead at this moment.Holding the tea in both hands and sipping it, the hot air rose and entered the nasal cavity along with the breath, wet the eyelashes, Xia Ranjiang's eyes turned red again for some reason.

"What's the matter? Tell Teacher Huang."

This sentence is like smashing an ant nest on a long embankment, and the flood pours down in an instant.Xia Ranjiang couldn't hold back the depression in his heart anymore, turned his body slightly, and tears rolled into the teacup.

"Mr. Huang, I'm very sad."

Xia Ranjiang was almost unconscious, but after he finished speaking, he regretted that he should not have exposed himself to strangers so early.

"It's okay, speak slowly. All words and emotions are only stored in this room at this moment, no one will know, don't worry."

"Can you guarantee..."

"I promise."

"I like someone, but I know it's fruitless."

Xia Ranjiang put down his teacup, sniffed, and lowered his head slightly, as if talking to himself.

"Why is there no result?"

Xia Ranjiang was at a loss for a moment and didn't know how to answer.At this moment, I have begun to let go of my defenses, but I still can't reveal my heart.

"So, what are you worried about?"

Following the guidance, Xia Ranjiang fell into thinking.For a long time, Xia Ranjiang didn't seem to think about the reasons behind all emotions, but let his emotions affect his behavior.

"I worry that our relationship will not be recognized."

"Don't feelings exist between the two of you? I believe that you must have benefited a lot from this relationship, otherwise it wouldn't be so painful."

"I know he likes me."

Xia Ranjiang's cheeks were hot.Hearing Huang Yuemei's words, I felt suddenly enlightened.

"Then why worry? Don't worry about things that haven't happened, and don't use your imagination to construct future worlds. You just have to ask yourself what makes you happiest right now."

"But it's not that simple..." Xia Ranjiang leaned back, crossed his fingers on the top, and took a deep breath. "Mr. Huang, is our conversation today confidential?"

"Of course it's confidential, don't worry."

"me……"

As soon as Xia Ranjiang looked up, he met Huang Yuemei's expectant eyes, and then looked down at the ground.

"Our relationship is... not normal."

Xia Ranjiang felt his heart beating faster, clenched his hands tightly, and raised his head tentatively to meet Huang Yuemei's eyes.

"Because he's also a boy."

Xia Ranjiang's neck was stiff, and the rebel who walked up to the execution platform as if he was looking at death at home, what was waiting for him was the shining knife of the world.When the knife was about to fall, he looked at the executioner again, hoping for a chance.

"So it is."

Huang Yuemei was taken aback for a moment.He reached for his thermos cup, blew on the floating tea leaves, took two sips and then put it down.

"At your age, you are in the period of rapid sexual and psychological development. Sometimes you tend to fall into extreme judgments about yourself, especially when you go to school in a different place. In an unfamiliar environment, it is easy to mistake your dependence on your buddies for same-sex feelings." Huang Yuemei's expression seems to be Get serious.

"But I know that I like him, not the kind of liking between friends. I also have some friends and classmates, but I don't feel this way when I'm with them. I only feel fully when I'm with him. It's my true appearance, which I have never seen in the past ten years." Xia Ranjiang was a little excited, and his eyes were shining brightly.

"Very well. Most people don't have the opportunity to discover their true selves, and you did."

The corners of Teacher Huang's mouth turned up, but there was still an indescribable indifference in his eyes.

"Same-sex relationship is not wrong, it's freedom. But your concerns have not been resolved. Although our society does not regard same-sex relationship as a taboo, nor does it regard it as a deviant crime like some religious countries, but after all There will be certain hindrances. Have you thought about that?"

Xia Ranjiang was silent again.An inexplicable force rose from the bottom of my heart, penetrated through the muscles and bones, covered the skin, and turned into armor.

"And you will still start a family, get married and have children in the future. The confusion you are facing now is only temporary, and many people have this kind of confusion. This is one of the troubles of adolescence. In the future, you will bear more and more responsibilities. In retrospect the confusion was nothing."

"Mr. Huang, I thought about it, and I don't think it's confusion or worry."

Xia Ranjiang let go of his clenched hands and slowly spread them on his lap.

"what?"

Huang Yuemei was a little surprised.I thought I had taken the initiative and persuaded a "lost" boy to return as before, but Xia Ranjiang woke up just as he was about to win.

"This is not a question of same-sex and opposite-sex, it is a question of whether I need to persist in the face of my true self."

Xia Ranjiang blinked very relaxedly, as if enlightened, his eyes sparkled.

"As you said, this is the trouble of adolescence. When I was a teenager, I was always accompanied by doubts and confusion. I was abandoned by my mother when I was a child, and I didn't enjoy maternal love. I was violated after that, and I have a deep feeling for women ever since. Fear. For a long time, I tried to accept all kinds of things that did not belong to me according to the standards defined by this world, but now I have fallen into even greater confusion. Now I understand that the past cannot be restored. Let nature take its course. My childhood was gloomy, but after meeting him, my life began to have light. Now the anxiety is just a shadow in the sun. What I have to do is not to turn my back on the sun, but to face it. "

"You...you are willful."

Huang Yuemei's voice trembled a little, and her eyes were full of frustration that she had lost her authority.

"You're right. I just need to pay attention to my own feelings. As for other people's opinions, for things that haven't happened in the future, I can only do my best and obey the destiny. I know that even if I miss the whole world, I have He is enough."

Xia Ranjiang stood up, walked straight to the door, turned around and bowed slightly to Huang Yuemei.

"Thank you, Teacher Huang. Thank you for answering my doubts and helping me recognize myself."

Xia Ranjiang closed the door, only to hear a "snap" inside, which seemed to be the sound of the door plate falling to the ground.

On the way back, Xia Ranjiang gasped excitedly and pedaled hard on his bicycle.When passing the main road, Xia Ranjiang got out of the car and looked around for something.

This is where Xia Ranjiang met Tong Zhe for the first time.The sign-in table for freshmen is no longer there, but the original scene is still vivid in my memory.Xia Ranjiang felt a little emotional, took out his mobile phone, and typed a few words with numb fingers:

"I love you."

When he was about to send it, Xia Ranjiang thought of something again and deleted everything.He got on his bicycle again, rode outside the school gate, dropped the bicycle and waited for the bus by the side of the road.

Yellowish smog flows in the sky at night.It was already early winter, and this remote bus station was already deserted, but with the cold mist, it seemed that no one could be seen around.Xia Ranjiang knew that this station was the fastest bus line to Tong Zhe's house.There was a notice vaguely pasted on the stand, with the words "Subway construction, demolition of this station" written on it, and densely packed instructions below.Xia Ranjiang didn't want to take a closer look, he touched the seat, there was a layer of cold water stains on it, shook his hands, stood up and walked around the station to warm his body.

I looked at my watch and saw that the car would arrive in ten minutes.Xia Ranjiang's excitement faded a little, and his pace slowed down, staring wistfully at the direction of approaching cars—except for the occasional private car and truck, there was nothing.

Xia Ranjiang looked around anxiously, then stood up to look at the notice.At this time, I vaguely felt a few people coming from behind.

"He's here to wait for the bus, too." Xia Ranjiang thought to himself, but didn't care.

However, those few people seem to be getting closer and closer.Xia Ranjiang turned his head and took a few steps back.

"Your name is Xia Ranjiang?"

"……Um."

Xia Ranjiang responded, feeling uneasy.A truck passed by with high beams on the faces of these people, and Xia Ranjiang recognized the faces of these people.The sentence just now seemed to be said by the leader, who was crossing his hands in front of his chest and staring at him with triangular eyes.

"Those with thin skin and tender flesh just don't know whether they can resist beating."

A muffled laugh came from behind, mixed with the "click" sound of moving joints.

"Who are you? Do I know you?"

Xia Ranjiang only felt his limbs congested, and was about to turn around and run when he was surrounded by these people.

"You don't know us, but we know you. I wasn't sure which one was you. Who told you to kill yourself and post photos of yourself everywhere. It has nothing to do with us, but you dare to touch our buddies' women. You are not kind. Yes. I have been staring at you for a long time, and I blame you for being destined to die like this."

"What is your buddy's woman? I don't know it!"

"Yu Qing, do you dare to say that you don't know him?"

"What? Yu Qing?" Xia Ranjiang staggered in shock and sat down on the grass.

"Don't fucking pretend to be innocent with me, dare to do it or not?"

"Stop talking nonsense with him, teach him a lesson and let him learn to be a man!"

"Fuck you, you bastards."

Xia Ranjiang tried to get up, but his feet slipped and he fell to the ground weightlessly.Just as he was about to get up again, a heavy kick under his ribs made him tremble with pain.Xia Ranjiang moved forward quickly, touched a stone pole, propped himself up and quickly hid behind the stone pole.I saw a person stretch out his leg and kicked over, just right on the stone pole, the pain made the person grin his teeth.But even with the temporary barrier of the stone pole, they still couldn't withstand the crowd, and more violent fists fell on them like raindrops.

"How dare you hide? I will kill you."

The man who kicked on the stone pole was obviously angry, grabbed Xia Ranjiang's arm, and pressed his knee heavily on Xia Ranjiang's chest, Xia Ranjiang almost lost his breath.

"What are you doing?!"

In the distance, an orange light pierced through the smog, and with a roar, the group of people froze for a moment.

"No, the school security is here. Go, go!"

"Fuck you."

Xia Ranjiang threw a stone towards the crowd, but with too much force, his feet slipped, he lost his balance, hit the back of his head on the stone pier, his eyes went dark, and he almost lost consciousness.

In an instant, the group of people disappeared into the mist, leaving only Xia Ranjiang hugging his chest.

Xia Ranjiang was almost unable to move.Two security guards rushed over to help him back to school.

In the infirmary, Xia Ranjiang did a checkup.He Xiaoyu didn't know where he heard the news, so he hurried over from the dormitory.

"What's wrong with you? Did you encounter a robber?"

He Xiaoyu sat behind Xia Ranjiang