middle of the road

Chiyu's fever subsided the next morning, and after taking medicine and resting at home for two days, he basically recovered.

The reason for the bleeding this time is that Cheng Yang’s subordinates were too heavy and too sudden. Another reason is that he hasn’t had a good rest during this period of time. He usually has a lot of pressure in work and life, and he will only take it when he is too anxious. Did not carry.

But fortunately, it was not serious, the bleeding stopped immediately, and after enough rest, people became more energetic than the previous two days.

Arranging the work at hand on Friday afternoon, Chi Yu took a taxi to the train station. He had already bought the high-speed rail ticket to City H in advance.

On the other side of the business seat is a man in his 30s, wearing earphones, talking to his wife and children facing the screen. The content probably sounds like he has been out on business for a long time, and finally returned to this place during the holidays. The family kept asking him when he would arrive at the station, and he happily confirmed the pick-up time with them over and over again.

There is an appointment when you go, and there is a destination when you return. Chi Yu turned his gaze out of the window and admitted that he was a little envious. Will there be another day? He couldn't help thinking that Cheng Yang could wait for him like this?Asking him when he will come back, maybe he will arrange his own time to pick him up when he is free. Thinking of this, Chi Yu smiled wryly. If he could cherish it back then, would he still be living a simple and ordinary life like this now? .

However, the assumptions are meaningless. Time is indeed a monster with legs. It only cares about moving forward and will never go back.

The reason why Cheng Yang has not married until now is not difficult to guess at all, of course it cannot be because of him, but because of Cheng Ying and Cheng Le, with his strong sense of responsibility to his family, and his seemingly casual but strict self Asked, Chi Yu felt that he would probably wait until his younger siblings had gone to college or even worked before he would think about himself.

Chi Yu was inevitably distressed by this, but more of it was a selfish rejoicing, because it meant that he still had time.

Even if Cheng Yang had forgotten about him, the moment of joy when he learned about his recent situation still made him feel that there was still room for everything.

After getting off the high-speed rail, Chi Yu first went to the restaurant where he used to order food. The clerk had already prepared everything for him. He was thinking of changing, but after comparing all the restaurants around him, he found that it was still the same. The chef is the most particular about the selection of ingredients and the method of cooking.

Cheng Yang might still not accept it, but Chi Yu couldn't help but want to give it away again and again, hoping that he could even eat a bite.

Seeing that it was still early, Chi Yu didn't take a taxi anymore, and walked slowly to the school gate with his bag in hand. The doorman Xiao Li had already recognized him, and when he saw him coming, he poked his head out to say hello to him, "Come to see Teacher Cheng again. ?”

Probably the first impression classified him as mild and harmless, so although Cheng Yang's attitude was cold, Xiao Li was still very enthusiastic, "Do you have his phone number, no, I will call him here for you ?”

"No more trouble." Chi Yu smiled, "I'll wait for him to finish class."

"Okay." Xiao Li closed the window and opened it again in less than a minute, "Why don't you come in and sit for a while, it's so hot standing outside."

Chi Yu thanked him and signaled that it would be good for him to be here, Xiao Li didn't push any further, and sat back with a smile.

Cheng Yang should not be studying late today, but the bell rang for a long time after class, and the students were almost gone and he did not come out. Chi Yu almost came up with the idea of ​​climbing over the wall to avoid him, but thinking about it, he thought it was impossible. How can there be such a big face that can make him avoid this.

Is that a day off?Something, or sick?

It is indeed inconvenient not to have a phone, but Chi Yu felt that even if he got Cheng Yang's number, he would not be able to escape the fate of being blocked.

Just when Xiao Li said that he wanted to go in and check the situation for him, Chi Yu met him and guessed that he might be a colleague from Cheng Yang's office who greeted him, then pointed to his hand, "You are That... the person who has been delivering meals to our Teacher Cheng?"

Chi Yu smiled as a default, although he had a thick skin when he did this, it was still a bit embarrassing to be recognized like this.

Especially at this moment, that person's face is full of undisguised shock that you are a man.

"My name is Feng Fei, colleague Cheng Yang." The man said, "Then what... I'm sorry, I ate the first meal you delivered earlier."

Chi Yu didn't know there was such an episode, but he was obviously relieved that the first meal wasn't thrown, "It's okay, it's just for food, it's a little fun."

Feng Fei smiled apologetically, "Are you waiting for Cheng Yang?" When he asked, his eyes became a little strange, "Didn't he tell you?"

"Ok?"

"He took the students to other provinces to participate in the competition. He just left in the afternoon and will not come back until Monday."

"Really?" Chi Yu's heart suddenly relaxed, just now he almost thought he was going to tell him that Cheng Yang had resigned, but he said softly, "No wonder."

The reason why he was able to find him at the beginning was because the news that Cheng Yang took students out for activities was published on their school's official website.

That time seemed to be last year, when the third year of high school led by him as the class teacher was about to graduate, his school organized an exchange activity with a nearby political and law university. He and a few young teachers took the students to take the adult oath.

It happened last year, but Chi Yu didn't find it until some time ago. After seeing the key words, he read the news word by word, and then went to the teacher channel of their school's official website to read the news one by one. Finally, in a certain During a teacher training session, an extremely blurry photo was found.

When it was confirmed that the person was Cheng Yang, he still remembered the icy coldness of his excited hands at that moment.

Everyone knew that he was looking for him, but no one really knew how serious and desperate he had been looking for for so many years.

The saddest thing is not never hearing from anyone, but the powerlessness of holding on to hope again and again, and then being crushed into reality.

What supported him to continue to torture himself like this was a sentence his teacher once said, as long as a person lives in this world, even if he has lived, there will always be traces.

At that time, the Internet was already very developed, and in reality, interpersonal relationships were extended in the virtual world. Even people who are not good at socializing, under the torrent of the times, it is impossible to completely insulate from the Internet. At first, it was Renren, and later it was Weibo, WeChat, In the circle of friends, Chi Yu always pays attention to the dynamics of these social platforms. Sometimes even if he clicks on a popular science article, he will subconsciously pay attention to the author and editor.

He developed an almost perverted paranoia about people's names.

The most interesting thing is that in his junior year, he searched for a person with the same name and surname as Cheng Yang, and even the same age. It was almost the first time in a long time, after he was used to constantly receiving sex, the first time. For the first time, I felt that I was so close to him.

He followed him, watched his every news, liked Agatha Christie, supported the Spanish team, was called out in a rehearsal class one day because he couldn't get up in the morning, a certain teacher of Introduction to Energy Engineering didn't give the syllabus the usual score The food is not high, the food in the second canteen of the school is more delicious but not as much as that in the first canteen, the German shepherd I raised is pregnant, I forgot to bring my transportation card and exchanged change with someone, and all the trivial details.

Chi Yu actually knew that this person was not Cheng Yang. Cheng Yang didn't have so many hobbies, and it was impossible for him to study in such a high-tuition school, but he just couldn't stop prying eyes. Although he didn't want to admit it, he did How foolishly he regarded such a person who had nothing to do with him as his only psychological comfort in his painful life.

Until one day, that person said in a comment with his classmates that he didn't like to drink his mother's soup. It was just such a simple complaint, but it was like the most bitter cold water in December. Chiyu, who is slightly safe, is fully watered from the beginning to the end.

Because not only did he know that Cheng Yang didn't have a mother, but he also knew that he liked soup very much.

Waking up from a big dream.

Until that moment, after paying attention to "Cheng Yang" nervously for a whole year, Chi Yu was finally dragged out of the gentle village by the cruel reality. What greeted him was blood dripping everywhere, and the paralyzed face again. Unprepared for pain.

He unfollowed that person, deleted all information related to him, and then got completely drunk...

When he woke up, he was in the hospital, only Fu Jin was around, and Fu Jin scolded him for a whole day, but Chi Yu didn't listen to anything.

He stared blankly at the snow-white wall in front of him, his eyes were dry, and he was obviously so sad that he couldn't add anything, but he couldn't bleed out anything. @无限好文, all in Jinjiang Literature City

He thought that he was probably too tired, he had never been so tired before, he didn't want to move, even Cheng Yang, at that moment he forced himself to give up thinking about it, and after two months of being in such a daze, he finally Slowly break free from the life of walking dead.

If enduring unnecessary suffering is really a kind of redemption, then on such an ordinary night, the news that popped up after he typed Cheng Yang's name in the search box tens of millions of times made everyone The despair I have endured and the hardships I have experienced have all become worthwhile.

Chi Yu lost his mind for a moment, Feng Fei waved his hand awkwardly, signaling him to leave first, Chi Yu called him back, "Can you add a WeChat?"

Feng Fei pointed to himself, "Me?"

"Yeah." Chi Yu took out his phone.

"Oh, okay." Feng Fei clicked on WeChat and called up the QR code. Chi Yu scanned it, and the other party quickly passed, "Thank you."

"Thank you, we are all friends." Feng Fei smiled and was about to leave when he suddenly thought of something and turned around, "Can I ask one more question?"

Chi Yu: "Tell me."

Feng Fei: "What's the relationship between you and our Teacher Cheng?"

Since Feng Fei recognized him by the lunch box, obviously he also knows Cheng Yang's attitude towards this, "Student." Chi Yu told the truth.

"Student? Then why haven't I seen you before?"

"High school classmates."

"Oh." Feng Fei was stunned, "I'm from XX No. [-] Middle School, I understand."

Chi Yu smiled, and Feng Fei pointed to the front, "Then I'll go first, and you should go back earlier."

Chi Yu waved to him, waited for him to leave, stood there for a while, went to the guard room, knocked on the window, and handed the bag to Xiao Li, Xiao Li declined a few times embarrassedly, Chi Yu Yu insisted again and again, so he accepted it with a smile.

When I went downstairs to Cheng Yang's house, I didn't see any lights. Chi Yu took the high-speed train back to City S that night.

In the next few days, there were several important meetings and activities for him to attend, so he couldn't get away for a while, and asked Feng Fei that Cheng Yang had returned. Chi Yu didn't make things difficult for him, but only asked about whether Cheng Yang was there or not. According to the news, Feng Fei is still kind to him because of his favor.

It was another Friday, Chi Yu had just got off the highway, and received a WeChat voice call from Feng Fei, asking him if he knew where Cheng Yang's family lived.

"I know." Chi Yu said, "What's wrong?"

"Are you free to come over? Teacher Cheng is drunk." Feng Fei said: "There is usually no one in his family, and his younger brothers and sisters are all at school now, and I don't know where he lives, so you should take my place first. Send him back, I still have a few things to think about..."

Chi Yu rushed to the hotel he mentioned, there were a few people sitting or standing in the lobby on the first floor, Feng Fei raised his hand to signal to him, Chi Yu walked over, Cheng Yang sat on a chair with his back to the round table, his head tilted slightly Leaning back on the back of the chair, it seems that he has fallen asleep, his face is probably due to drunkenness, and it can be seen that it is obviously pale under the warm-toned light.

"How did you drink like this?" Chi Yu lifted one of his arms, put his arms around his waist and half hugged him.

"I don't know." Feng Fei looked around and sighed helplessly, "Obviously it's a happy thing to win a prize in the competition, but they drank like this if they didn't pay attention, the teacher's alcohol capacity is not good in the first place, I’ve noticed it before, but I don’t know what’s wrong this time.”

Chi Yu's hands were slightly tense, and together with Feng Fei he helped him outside, he opened the car door, and put Cheng Yang on the passenger seat.

"I just checked that the key is in his bag." Feng Fei warned a few words, "Send me a message when you arrive."

"Don't worry." Chi Yu thanked him and got into the car, Feng Fei made sure that he was okay and went in again.

Cheng Yang may be drunk and uncomfortable, his head has been gently rubbing against the back of the chair, Chi Yu pushed his sweat-drenched hair to the side, and touched his forehead with his fingers, the skin felt warm to the touch, bringing There are long memories, but it doesn't feel strange at all.

Facing such a thoughtful face, mixed with impulse and desire, Chi Yu restrained again and again, and finally only dared to move his thumb lightly, touching carefully in the small shadow cast by his long eyelashes.