middle of the road

Cheng Yang has been looking for a house outside for the past few days, and the deadline Cheng Yunsheng set for him has actually come, but because he lives far away, he has not come to see it, but in the past two days, agents have come over one after another, saying that they have accepted it. Commissioned to rent out this house.

It may be only a few days that can be delayed.

Sister Jin helped him watch a few sets before, and it was not expensive, but it was still a bit beyond his budget. If you only brought Cheng Ying alone, a one-room household would be enough, and the school would be closed in two more weeks. It doesn't make much difference to him whether he is close or far away during the holiday.

And here... he might not live for long.

Cheng Yang sat in front of the desk, leaning on the back of the chair. His only persistence over the years, until now, has no turning back.

He couldn't imagine what he would do if someone told him that his decision and determination were wrong. He stepped on the steps suspended in the air, and every time he took a step, the road behind him would disappear. He can only go forward, even if the endless darkness makes him confused, he can't help doubting, he can only choose to continue, at least there is hope if he goes on, and if he turns back, he will definitely fall badly.

He obviously didn't have any capital to put all his eggs in one basket, but he did it.

He knows that he is stubborn, rigid, and cautious, which is the imprint of conditioned reflex left on him by an unfair fate. He has no ability to resist, he can only accept, and try his best to endure before hope comes, so when someone One day when he found out that he actually had the determination and courage to give it a go, his first reaction was not surprise or fear, but self-deprecating.

As a teacher, Cheng Linsheng didn't teach him anything, but gave him the essence of gambling.

The only chip in his hand is so pitiful that he dares to bet on such a big future with others in a whimsical way.

Cheng Yang sometimes felt that maybe even he had underestimated himself.

Since that day, the relationship with Chi Yu has fallen into an embarrassing period of lukewarmness. Sometimes when the recess is too boring and Tang Xiaowei and the others go out to stand on the balcony for a while, Chi Yu will come over seemingly inadvertently, and They chat casually, but they won't talk to him.

The eyes fell on him occasionally, without deliberation, and would not stay too long, as if the two of them had always just nodded acquaintance.

Tang Xiaowei advised the two of them to make up quickly and ignore Feng Jun's stupid words more than once because he couldn't bear it, but they were stopped by Li Rujiang and the others with winks. Maybe they also noticed something was wrong, just because they were too private. Did not ask directly.

What's more, the college entrance examination is just around the corner, and everyone is tired of preparing for the battle. Except for those who are close to each other, not many people are still paying attention to this matter. It comes violently, but goes quietly. The only ones affected are the parties themselves.

Chi Yu didn't expect that on the eve of his college entrance examination, unpleasant things would happen one after another. All the conflicts seemed to be discussed, and they broke out at this point, mixed with anger after disappointment and embarrassing slaps. caught off guard.

He refused Chi Haidong to step into that house on the grounds that he was going to prepare for the exam, and Chi Haidong took care of his emotions and agreed.

But in the past few days, I have been on the phone constantly, repeatedly telling him that I want to sit down with him and have a good talk. Originally, I said to wait for him after the college entrance examination, but I contacted Zhao Shuangqing in Chiyu to confirm his plan, and I have already put it into practice. After the implementation, Chi Haidong's desire to talk to him suddenly became a little urgent.

Chi Yu's idea is very simple. What Zhao Shuangqing wanted to do but failed to do. Now that Chi Haidong has been confirmed guilty, in his opinion, everything no longer appears to be hasty and heartless. This is what he should have ended up in the first place. , compared to the dead, he is lucky enough to be alive. In his opinion, these blessings are not necessary for success.

There is no need to wait until after the college entrance examination. This time is just a cover for Chi Haidong. From the initial despair to the current calmness, the torment of a few days is enough for him to think carefully and make the three of them have a hard time. For him, How could it be an interruption?

And just like this, Chi Yu felt that it was far from enough.

Chi Haidong valued the company, but that night he also said something that hinted that he wanted to let go, maybe it was angry words, or it might be true, which means that just doing this is not completely safe, and Chi Yu has not forgotten how he did it in the first place. With his own selfishness, he destroyed all the things he cherished. If Chi Haidong didn't experience such a pain, how could he be worthy of all the people who left because of him.

He already has nothing, but Chi Haidong still has one thing.

Fortunately, the initiative for such a thing is now in his hands.

At noon, Chi Yu finished cooking and sat down to eat with Tang Xiaowei and the others. The last day was getting closer and closer, and he was a little tired from the high-intensity review, so he didn't talk much. Looking at them, I found a seat and sat down alone.

Chi Yu glanced at him a few times, and flipped his chopsticks back and forth on the rice, feeling a little lost in appetite, so he took the plate away and emptied it.

After pouring out, I bought another share, and sat across from Cheng Yang. Cheng Yang raised his head and looked at him.

Chi Yu didn't say a word, took a bite of his meal, and then threw the middle pieces of the freshly caught fish and a duck leg onto his plate. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cheng Yang's chopsticks passing by, and he quickly used his own chopsticks to take the A few things resisted, and he was not allowed to return it forcefully.

Cheng Yang paused with his hands, and put another piece of meat lying quietly beside him on top of his rice. After realizing that he didn't intend to refuse, Chi Yu coughed and lowered his head attentively.

They finished their meal in silence. Although they didn't speak, it was the first time the relationship between the two of them eased after such a long time.

That night, Chi Yu was halfway through the paper, picked up his phone, took a photo of a certain question, and sent it to Cheng Yang.

Chi Yu: "How?"

After waiting for a while, Cheng Yang also returned a photo to him, which was written directly on the test paper with a few key points circled with a pen.

Chi Yu only glanced at it, and then sent him a sentence, "I don't understand."

Cheng Yang went back this time and directly broke down every step of the question, and how he got the score when he cut it down to a certain score.

Chi Yu smiled, feeling that Cheng Yang had actually seen through his little trick and warned him with this, but he still typed the line without changing his face, "Come here and tell me face to face, talk for two hours , I should be able to understand."

This time the reaction was a bit slow, even slower than he had broken down all the steps. The phone didn't move for a long time, and Chi Yu almost thought he was going to refuse. Cheng Yang didn't reply until he finished copying the question according to what he wrote. One, "OK."

When he entered the door, Cheng Yang's body was a little wet, and his hair was covered with fine rain mist.

"Is it raining?" Chi Yu asked, "How did you get here?"

"Take the bus, and get off halfway." Cheng Yang casually brushed two handfuls of hair, changed his shoes, and walked to his room, "Which question?"

Chi Yu looked up at the clock on the wall, turned around and hooked his waist, hugged him from behind, kissed the back of his neck, and whispered in his ear, "You really think I'm I called you here just to give me a lecture?"

Cheng Yang froze, and wanted to push him away, but Chi Yu let go first, and went to the bathroom to get a towel.

"Why didn't you call me to pick you up when it's raining?" He pulled Cheng Yang to sit on the sofa and wiped his hair.

The finger through the towel is very light, as if he is afraid of hurting him, both the tone of speech and the movement of his hands are too natural, it may not be a problem before, but after experiencing the strangeness that has been intentionally cooled down these days, Such intimacy seemed a little sudden.

Just as Cheng Yang was about to speak, Chi Yu pushed his knees on the sofa, leaned over and kissed her.

Different from the eagerness and enthusiasm of the past, Chi Yu's kiss was very light this time, as if pouring out great tenderness and patience, with a little care, his lips and tongue were pressed against him and bit slowly, every time he entered and exited, he could feel Seeing the air flow he exhaled gently swept across his face, he kissed his eyes, the bridge of his nose, and his chin, lingering on his neck, and then his breathing became rapid, biting all the way down.

In fact, Cheng Yang was not willing to go to bed with him before the matter was explained clearly, as if physical release could clear up all the crux of the problem.

Anyone can whitewash the cracks, but no one can guarantee that the wall covering without trust and mending will not fall off again in the future due to a certain opportunity. Such cruxes accumulate more and more. Only relying on desire and impulse to support it, it is only a matter of time before it collapses thing.

He pushed Chi Yu away, and Chi Yu leaned down against him, begging in a low voice in his ear.

When Cheng Yang was laid down on the sofa, he closed his eyes weakly. Whether it was good or bad, this was at least an opportunity, wasn't it?

It is impossible for the relationship to remain cold like this forever. Even if it is finally resolved in this way, Chi Yu will take this step first. If you want to completely ignore other people's gazes, just imagine if you are standing in his seat, you will Must be able to do better than him?

Thinking of this, Cheng Yang hooked his shoulders, buried his face hard, trying to let himself ignore the unspeakable pain in his heart, his legs collapsed tightly, and let Chi Yu's hands linger around his body , and finally took off his underwear familiarly.

Lying naked in the open living room made him feel a little ashamed, he never looked up, and he didn't make a sound, no matter how violent the movements under #Chiyu were, he deliberately kept himself from looking and thinking Just bear it, he said to himself.

So he didn't hear the crisp sound of the door opening amidst the violent panting that filled his ears like a tide.

Chi Yu suddenly stopped.

Cheng Yang turned his head and looked out, only seeing a silhouette, Chi Yu hugged his head and pressed tightly on his chest.

"Get out!" He heard Chi Yu yelling towards the door with a hoarse voice.

"I'll give you 5 minutes to get dressed and come out to see me!" Cheng Yang recognized an equally angry voice as Chi Haidong's.

His hands and feet were suddenly cold, they... were seen, at Chi Yu's house, in such an ugly posture.

"Cheng Yang, Cheng Yang." Chi Yu called him, hugged him and kissed him on the face, "Don't be afraid, it's okay, get dressed first."

Cheng Yang sat up mechanically, grabbed the clothes and put them on, before he had time to check whether they were worn backwards, he stood up, moved his body, and moved towards the door, as if he wanted to go out, but it was too late to react. Haidong was right outside the door, and he stood still again.

Chi Yu got dressed and came over, held his face and asked him to look at him, "You wait here for 10 minutes, and when the 10 minutes are up, you open the door and go out, don't worry, I won't let him see you."

Cheng Yang was a little numb, as if he hadn't reacted to the incident, Chi Yu kissed him on the forehead, "The umbrella is on the shoe cabinet, I will contact you when he leaves." She patted him on the shoulder, opened the door and went out.

Cheng Yang heard someone talking outside the door, but he didn't know what they said, followed by footsteps and the sound of the elevator door opening.

He stood at the door, looked at the clock on the wall, and waited literally 10 minutes before holding the handle and turning the door open.

There was no one outside the door. In fact, he already knew that there was no one. It's just that he didn't dare to open it before the time limit Chi Yu said.

The rain outside was much heavier than when he came, so he walked out without an umbrella.

The pattering rain did not feel cool on his body, but it made his overheated mind a little sober. He had never examined himself like this at a moment. In the sound of opening the door and the ensuing sound of fury, he felt the first time. I feel so cheap.

The bus didn't come, and he didn't want to wait. He just walked back in the mist, and there was no one on the road. When he was tired, he stopped, squatted on the side of the road, and touched his pocket. There was no cigarette, only a bunch of cigarettes. Keys and a mobile phone.

The key will soon not belong to him, the place where he has lived for 18 years, sometimes Cheng Yang feels that fate is a lunatic with no end in sight, born to push people into desperation, but a person like him who has nothing for a long time , What is there to attract it, let it fall into trouble again and again.

He took out his phone and turned on the screen, so is this the price he paid for not bowing his head, or is it the punishment of his wishful thinking?