Hidden heart

"Xuechen!"

When Shen Yao rushed to the place where Fan Xuechen lived, he didn't see him inside.Although everything he used was there, the person was gone.No one even answered his phone calls.

This scene is really similar to the moment when he left himself.A fear gripped his heart tightly, "Xuechen! Xuechen—" He panicked and shouted his name, but his voice just disappeared into the boundless void, no one could find him. Not coming back.

"Why? Xuechen...why did you leave me again?" A little warmth flowed from his eyes, and he finally fell to the ground as if he couldn't bear it anymore, as if a sharp knife had been stabbed in his heart.

The incandescent lamp above his head shone blindingly on his body, and he slowly got up, as if he had just been fished out of the water—tired, painful, and powerless.

He put his hand on the rusty doorknob lock, and stayed there for a long while, but no matter what, he didn't have the strength to go out.

Just when he turned off the light with a snap, he turned around and suddenly saw a figure standing quietly in front of his eyes.

In the dim night air, that lonely, thin figure was like a shallow, unowned soul that would disappear before his eyes with just a slight blow.

"Xuechen!" Shen Yao rushed over, hugging the faint shadow tightly in his arms.

Snow morning!It's his Xuechen! ——He was panting heavily, as if he had just come back from the abyss of dying.

"Xuechen, where have you been? I thought I couldn't find you again!"

The person in his arms who was as stiff as a rock moved, he raised his head, and a few cold fingers lightly brushed across Shen Yao's face, "Are you crying?"

Only then did Shen Yao realize that he was crying again!Since falling in love with him, I seem to have become a crybaby. I really want to spend all the tears in my life on him to be reconciled.

"Xuechen! Xuechen..." Shen Yao grasped that hand tightly and kept calling his name.

"Why are you here?" Fan Xuechen's voice was cool and soft, like cotton that had been blown by the cold wind for a long time.

"I miss you, Xuechen." Shen Yao hugged him tightly and said, "I miss you so much..."

Fan Xuechen sighed, and called softly: "Shen Yao..." The whole person fell into his arms.

"Xuechen!" Shen Yao hurriedly carried him into the house.

He looked at Fan Xuechen under the light, so haggard and painful. He kept kissing his hand and said, "Xuechen, what happened? Tell me!"

Fan Xuechen stared at the lamp hanging above with his eyes open, and did not move for a long time until a teardrop fell from the corner of his eye.

"My aunt passed away, and I went to see her." He took a heavy breath, and continued: "She was not such a good person to me, but she was gone, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for her." Sad, sad, even I don't know why?"

"That's because you are an emotional person." Shen Yao said gently stroking his face.

"No, it's not..." Fan Xuechen still looked at the dazzling light above and said, "That's because there are too few people around me...too few..."

"Xuechen..." Shen Yao was distressed and didn't know what to say.

"Shen Yao." Fan Xuechen turned his head slowly, staring at the man in front of him - this man still had undried tears for himself in his eyes.

"Don't come again in the future."

"Why?" Shen Yao looked at him in disbelief.

"I can't be friends with you."

"Why?" Shen Yao didn't understand why he didn't allow him to appear just as a friend.

"You know that we won't be friends, so why are you deceiving yourself like this?"

"You don't even want to accept me like this? Xuechen?"

Fan Xuechen flashed those painful eyes, and said: "Because I am also a person, even a person who needs warmth more than ordinary people, I am always afraid that I will not be able to bear it..."

"Then accept me, Xuechen!" Shen Yao grabbed his hand and said, "I will warm you up and protect you for the rest of my life!"

"Would you? You won't..." Fan Xuechen lowered her head, resting her head on his shoulder, and said wanly: "Shen Yao, I'm not a person who can afford it, please don't give me hope. And then it made me despair..."

"I didn't!" Shen Yao hugged him into his arms and said, "Xue Chen, let me love you well, okay?"

Shen Yao didn't hear his answer, only heard a slight sob coming from this bony body.

"Xuechen! My Xuechen!" Hearing his subtle crying, Shen Yao stretched out his arms to hug him tighter, feeling that his internal organs were about to be shattered by such suppressed crying!

After a long time, the person in his arms calmed down.Shen Yao raised his head, seeing that pale face was flooded with tears, he looked even more pitiful.He gently wiped away the tears on his face, and gently kissed the thin lips that were biting the marks of his teeth.

"Xuechen, trust me, I can take care of you for the rest of your life." Shen Yao let go of him gently, and said softly.

Fan Xuechen shook his head slightly, and said, "But I still can't believe myself..."

"why?"

"I am a person who has been abandoned for too long. I always have such a longing for love and such a disappointment... I am no longer a child, and I will no longer think that I can get any happiness at my fingertips."

He opened those dim eyes in a daze, and said sadly: "Shen Yao, can you understand my feeling? The sooner you get it, the more afraid you will lose it, but the faster you lose it. Now, I I almost don't have the courage to look forward to anything..."

"Xuechen, don't do this." Shen Yao hugged him distressedly, and said, "I won't let you lose again, really, let me love you, let me stay by your side, no matter what happens in the future, I will I won't let you go down alone."

"I don't believe it... I don't believe it..." Fan Xuechen murmured.

"At least don't drive me away, Xuechen. Let me be by your side, whether it's a lover or a friend, as long as you don't exclude me from your world."

"Why? Shen Yao?" Fan Xuechen looked up at him, "Maybe I will never be able to trust you, never be able to satisfy you, don't you feel pain?"

"No!" Shen Yao stared at him firmly and said, "You know what? Xuechen, as long as I look at you, I will feel very satisfied. This feeling is something no one can give me! I really I cherish you very much, Xuechen, you believe in me."

"But after a long time, you will eventually get tired of this kind of relationship. You will escape, you will not be able to bear it, you will..." Fan Xuechen's voice choked up again as he spoke.

"No!" Shen Yao caressed his trembling back, and said softly: "Xue Chen, I have figured it out, you were right when you left last time, and I didn't deserve you at all at that time. But It’s different now, now I really understand your person, your heart, and your soul.”

"Shen Yao..." Fan Xuechen listened to his words in shock, and couldn't help pinching his hand tightly with pale fingertips.

Shen Yao smiled at him warmly, and said: "Xuechen, I feel very happy now. Even though you are not really with me now, as soon as I think of such a special you, only I can see you, I will have an indescribable joy."

Fan Xuechen stared at him with wide eyes, as if he was meeting this man for the first time.After a long time, he exhaled lightly and said, "Are you really willing to wait forever?"

"I am willing to wait for you forever."

"Shen Yao..." Fan Xuechen couldn't help leaning on his body, and said softly, "I'm really afraid this is just the beginning of pain..."

"Don't be afraid, Xuechen." Shen Yao squeezed his fingers one by one, and said, "Didn't you say you like to take your time? It's only been two years now, and I can continue to wait for you for another three years." , four years, five years, six years..." At this point, he smiled lightly, and continued: "In short, my whole person is yours, and you can do whatever you want, as long as you don't take me Get out of your world, okay?"

"Shen Yao..." Tears fell from Fan Xuechen's eyes again.

"I am here."

"Is it always there?"

"Always be there."