Let it go, rainbow fart

The scene just now dragged on over and over again, and when it ended, it was already past the meal time, so during the time Ning Han and Qiao Shuran came to eat, there were almost no people left in the restaurant, only a few workers who had just got off work personnel.

The small restaurant on the set has a good environment, suitable for eating and chatting. They sat at a small table near the door, and each had a freshly heated dinner in front of them.

Perhaps it was the mood that affected the atmosphere. The two of them followed the three-character motto of "Eat without speaking", eating quietly and hardly talking.

Ning Han didn't know how to eat, so he put down his chopsticks after two mouthfuls, concentrated on watching Qiao Shuran eat with gusto, and gradually felt better.

Qiao Shuran bulged her cheeks like a squirrel, and seeing that he had hardly moved his chopsticks, she couldn't help asking, "Why do you eat so little? You want to control your weight?"

"No, I'm not hungry, I don't have much appetite," Ning Han put all the meat on his plate onto Qiao Shuran's plate, "I've never touched any of these."

Qiao Shuran thought to himself, I will eat it whether you touch it or not, but seeing the other party like this, how can he eat it.After thinking about it, he hesitated and asked, "Do you want to talk to me?"

Ning Han paused with his chopsticks and withdrew his hand.

Qiao Shuran: "This time..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Ning Han knew that Qiao Shuran would ask, but he didn't want to talk about it all the time. He thought, avoid this topic as much as he can.

Qiao Shuran knew that this was Ning Han's knot, and he didn't stop asking because he said "I don't want to say it", "How do you plan to deal with it?"

"There's nothing to deal with," Ning Han stood up, and the iron stool legs of the chair made a harsh "squeak" sound on the ground, which was especially loud in the empty and spacious restaurant.

Ning Han didn't care about all the black material scandals in the past. He was not afraid of being slandered by others, because he was not afraid of shadows when he was upright.But this time is different. This time the incident happened in real life, and it is still vivid in my mind.

That period of the past, which was very different from the present, was something he could hardly tell and was ashamed of.He lacks the courage to face these pasts directly. If possible, he would rather these things be buried in the soil of time forever and never be dug out for a lifetime.

He obviously tried his best to get rid of those bad things, but the past still seemed to be entangled with him, and the father who didn't want to recognize seemed to be his father.

Yes, he was the son of the fraudster who abandoned his wife from the beginning to the end, the poor young man who wanted to make a living because he was abandoned, and the poor wretch who was burdened with guilt and sin to pay off his debts.

How should he face it?If you can't face it, you can only run away.

Ning Han stared blankly, the food on the table was still steaming, and the chopsticks were quietly lying beside the plate.

In fact, it's good to escape, at least in this way, you don't have to tell those who love him, such as Qiao Shuran and fans, the dilapidated past.

He hopes that in the hearts of these people, he has always been a beautiful appearance, not an ugly appearance tainted with stains.

Qiao Shuran sat on the chair, lifted the curtains, and looked up at him.Looking at Ning Han's eyes, he knew that he was hiding, and he knew it by looking at his evasive eyes.

"Eat slowly, eat more meat, while it's hot," Ning Han pushed the chair away, turned and left.

But before he took two steps, Qiao Shuran's voice came from behind him, "You are obviously running away."

Ning Han paused, his back turned to Qiao Shuran, his dark eyelashes trembling.Ning Han seemed to want to say something, but in the end he couldn't say it, and continued to walk outside.

"You're just running away!" Qiao Shuran stood up and rushed forward to grab him, "Not only do you not want to tell me, you don't want to tell everyone, you want to hide it all, thinking it will past."

The melon-eaters nearby looked over and saw the two men fighting one after the other, and their mouths were broken.

Ning Han clenched his hands, turned to look at him, admitted with a half-smile, "Yes, I'm running away."

Qiao Shuran, who was always eloquent, was suddenly speechless.

how to say?He felt that his heart was choked, and even his throat was choked, so he had a clever mouth, but he couldn't say anything.

"I'm just running away." Ning Han repeated to him.

Qiao Shuran moved her clenched fingers, let go of the opponent's hand, remained silent for a long time, and asked, "What are you running away from?"

Ning Han didn't answer, turned around and left.

Qiao Shuran was stunned for a moment, then chased him out and called him to stop.

"Ning Han!"

The restaurant is surrounded by a long wooden corridor, and there is a quiet lake outside, with water birds flying by from time to time.

The scenery of the water town in the south of the Yangtze River is like a sketch, and the twilight is faint. It is instinctive to see people's hearts and minds, but now it is gray because of the two people standing in the corridor.

Qiao Shuran was two steps away from Ning Han, looked at his back, choked up and said: "I asked you what you are running away from, not because I want you to tell me about you, but to tell you that no matter what you are running away from, I can be by your side, with you, and help you block."

I want you to know that no matter when, I am willing to be with you, so you don't have to be afraid, don't run away.

You can come with me.

It was so quiet all around.

After a while, Ning Han slowly turned around.The light in the corridor was very dim, making it difficult to see his expression or his thoughts clearly.

"I had a very rubbish father, he evaporated when I was 13 years old, left me and my mother, ran away with a woman who had a husband and child, ruined two families, left a lot of debt .”

"It's been more than ten years... that person, I have forgotten what he looks like, and I have never seen him. I forgot him on purpose, forcing myself to forget, forcing myself to forget his face."

"Actually, I can't wait for him to be caught in prison and let him atone for what he has done. My mother can still go to the prison to scold him from time to time, point at his nose and say that I don't recognize him, that I don't have a father like him. .”

The two stood facing each other, Ning Han's words seemed to be talking to himself, but also seemed to have the courage to confess to Qiao Shuran.

He didn't know why, these words suddenly flowed out slowly from the deepest part of his heart like running water.I don't know what Qiao Shuran used to open Ning Han's door, making him say one sentence after another without any scruples.

"Before the age of 13, I lived for more than ten years with the hard-earned money of hundreds of families cheated by that person. I am still ashamed of those so-called good days," Ning Han laughed at himself With a smile, "It would be great if God could help me return it."

"After my irresponsible father left, some people poured red paint on the door of my house every day, some wrote black characters, some came to my house to smash things, and some shouted and cursed to hack me and my mother to death. We Wherever they moved, they chased them, living in fear every day."

"No money, too poor, too much debt, and then I dropped out of school, did not study, and became a part-time job in the society. Stepping in the quagmire, I met all kinds of complicated people. In order not to be bullied by others, I fell I drank wine bottles and got into group fights with people. I was only a teenager at that time. I shaved my head to make myself look more aggressive. I imitated others and drank a cigarette in my mouth all day. Costly."

"I know what it means to live in dire straits, but I can't complain, after all, it's all retribution. Our family took too many things that didn't belong to us, and everything we enjoyed was stolen from others, so everything we suffer later It deserves it. But... the one who deserves the most retribution, my father, went away happily. I and my mother are left, and everyone shouts and beats me."

Ning Han said a lot in one breath, Qiao Shuran listened quietly, like a radio.He didn't say a word, just listened quietly to Ning Han's story, his past, his misery, and the shame and ups and downs behind his glory.

Ning Han said, "This is the past that I want to escape. I don't want those who like me to know about all of this, my fans, and you. I hope that everything you see about me is good. of."

Qiao Shuran trembled, and subconsciously moved half a step towards him.

"I know it's useless, timid and motherly," Ning Han's voice was a little lower than usual, like gravel and broken glass, "I feel like I can't open my mouth, but I can't deny it."

He sighed deeply, choked up and said, "I don't want to do this either, and I don't want to escape."

A passing bird on the lake uttered a mournful cry.

Qiao Shuran took two steps closer to Ning Han, raised his hands, and hugged him carefully, as if he was caring for some precious porcelain.

"But I'm afraid," Ning Han's voice fell in his ears, "I'm afraid that you will know what happened in my family, that I have a father who ran away with money and took Xiao San, and that you will know that my company cheated I owe money to others, and I am afraid that you will know that my past is messy and not clean."

Ning Han's whole body was trembling uncontrollably, and he buried his head into Qiao Shuran's neck. Qiao Shuran gently stroked the back of his neck with one hand, "What do you think, if we know about it?"

Ning Han's eyes were half closed, "I don't want to think about it, and I dare not think about it."

"Fool, do you think we will scold you? Will you take off fans and turn back?"

"I don't know," Ning Han whispered, "but I'm afraid you will give up on me..."

Because of Ning Han's words "I'm afraid of being given up", Qiao Shuran tightly pursed her lips in this moment of silence.

How can you let go of this self-deprecating thought?How can you feel surrounded by love and tenderness?

For a moment, he asked without answering, "You paid off those debts, didn't you? Those days are gone forever, right? You will never be like your father, will you?"

Qiao Shuran's three simple "isn't it?" made Ning Han's eye sockets start to move.

He paid off those debts one by one with his hard-earned hard-earned money; during those days, he covered them page by page with everything he has worked so hard for now; Ning Han always said that to be a man Have a conscience because he doesn't want to be like his father.

This man named Ning Han is always working very hard, always very hard.

"You should be scolded," Qiao Shuran scolded and thumped him, "but what you should scold is not what you said, but that you have no confidence in yourself, nor in those of us who love you."

He said: "I wrote many, many rainbow-like sentences for you. I not only hope that others can see it, but I also hope that you can see it too. I hope that a rainbow can really enter your heart and help you drive away all the haze , to make you shine from the inside out and become truly confident.”

Qiao Shuran is like a beam of light, condensing all the sunshine and rainbows, trying her best to illuminate every corner of the one she loves, and pulling back Ning Han who had half-stepped into the mud.

He put his arms around Qiao Shuran's slender waist, hugging him, he could feel the solid warmth.Ning Han's voice was thready, "You seem to be like a beam of light... It seems to illuminate my whole heart..."

"You are a beam of light, why do you need me to illuminate it?" Qiao Shuran smiled, "So what if you have such a past, it is obviously because of your past that you have the present you, what we like is precisely You now."

"What we like is Ning Han, not your family background. What we look forward to is your future, not your past."

"What we like is you who live seriously in the present in order to get rid of the past, and you who treat others with heart in order to live up to everyone's love, it's you."

Ning Han murmured, "So—"

"So, the person who really likes you will always be there and will never leave." Qiao Shuran said.

There were tears hanging from the corners of the man's eyes, and he was storing them up, but Qiao Shuran's words finally drew them down, and they fell silently in the corridor.

Qiao Shuran backed away, took Ning Han's hand, and gently stroked the back of his hand with delicate fingers, "We know how hard you worked, how sincere and sunny you were in order not to disappoint us, we know you have Appreciate the feelings of others."

He stared into Ning Han's eyes, and said seriously and firmly: "We will not leave you, because you have always responded to our love."

Qiao Shuran said in her heart, and I will love you, as always.

The author says:

Welcome to comment on this small essay~