ninety-nine twelve

The two days of the college entrance examination meant that the whole city was on alert. Although I didn't take the exam, I still felt the grandness of this event.In fact, I went to wait at the gate of the school on the first morning. A large number of people had already arrived much earlier than the time. Candidates entered the field and parents gathered together. The scene was very spectacular.I was leaning on the iron fence next to the school gate, and I saw a sea of ​​people. Wearing a school uniform is no longer necessary. It is even more difficult to distinguish candidates quickly when they are integrated into their families. I thought I could always see Wu Haoyu, but I didn't see him at all until the exam started at nine o'clock sharp.Later, I stayed for nearly 15 minutes, but there was not a single candidate who came late, and the waiting family members dispersed a little.

Although I didn't look at Wu Haoyu, I wasn't worried at all. I believed 100% that he was sitting in one of the examination rooms right now, taking the exam and answering the questions seriously. This time, it could only be that there were too many people and I missed it, and I didn't want to waste time. Waiting outside the examination room for two or three hours, in case you meet your aunt, it is even more unreasonable, just wait until he finishes the exam tomorrow and then contact him, anyway, it is like this every time.

Thinking about it, it’s true that he is always the one who takes the exam, one model, two models and three models for the college entrance examination, and every time it’s followed by a weekend, every time I take a four-day holiday, he doesn’t see anyone for four days, fortunately, this is finally the last time up.

In fact, I didn’t follow what I said. I didn’t watch the live broadcast of the game. I watched two random games in the preliminaries. I didn’t analyze it carefully. I just roughly compared it with my average score. Guaranteed three, it still depends on the allocation of groups and on-the-spot performance. Whether or not I can make it to the final is really a problem. I just watched it calmly. The only trouble in my heart is that I am afraid that the coach will suddenly call me and scold me after watching every game. .

Dreams have weight, and where there is weight, there is a burden. Competitions and athletes are dreams, but the burden is given by me. I have never dared to face up to what I want. I have the desire to win and lose, and I want to prove To put it bluntly, I still wanted to show it to my parents, but I finally found out that this effort was meaningless. My dad didn't care. In his eyes, my dream was like a piece of waste paper that night, a product of my nonsense.The only ones who are really sad are the coach and Wu Haoyu. When the person involved is me, many feelings are different from what I imagined. My sadness is not even half as much as theirs. I know it may be annoying to say it, but take the burden. Getting together and letting go is not as difficult for the parties as it sounds to others, and the harm it brings is not as much as others.I think very clearly, let me choose again, I still choose the same way.

This is like a single-arrow joint relationship. Wu Haoyu corresponds to the competition, and the competition corresponds to my father. If Wu Haoyu has to be disconnected from that step, then the rest will not be established.

It's not enough to cut the lotus root.

My obsession with Wu Haoyu is stronger than that of the competition. I have to ask him to accompany me. I just want him to tell me to work hard. I like him frankly from the beginning to the end. I can’t stand outsiders labeling him and criticizing him. I have to take a step back and make a sacrifice. What is wrong with him? If I say it is wrong, it is my stubbornness. I know he wants to keep my game, but I really don’t want him to be like this. How did I make up my mind to start this game? I always remember what he said. What I was wrong about was that I was not a person who could do my own thing. Since he was by my side at the beginning, I only wanted him by my side in the end. no.

I know this is unfair to Wu Haoyu, I should consider his position when I fight back impulsively, and I should think about his mood when I choose to give up the game, so I have never dared to admit that this matter is complicated It's all my waywardness to blame, I'm afraid he...will blame me too.

I took the initiative to organize a group building activity in the class on the day they finished their college entrance examination. The reason is that no one in the class except me had the college entrance examination, and no one had the time to think about how to arrange entertainment programs. The second was my selfishness. Get Wu Haoyu to KTV to sing for me.

The liberation plan for the day after the exam was agreed a long time ago. Many people in the class responded one after another, but I was not sure that they could all come, so I booked the largest box. The time is from [-]:[-] pm to [-]:[-] pm, and a buffet is provided. , most of the people who have finished their exams have to be picked up by their parents first, and change their clothes anyway. Anyway, I notified the location and room number in the group. Whoever likes to come will be over at that time. When I come, I just have dinner by myself. .

I am really not suitable for organizing such activities. When I got to the box, four or five people had already arrived. Seeing that I was late as an organizer, they criticized me pretending to be serious.

After 07:30, people came one after another, and the boxes were crowded, and no one mentioned the college entrance examination just passed in the afternoon.There are always two microphones standing in front of the screen, crying and howling. There are two players playing dice, jingling and rattling. Someone proposes to drink, and the group of adults, minors, men and women all agree. , I rang the bell to ask someone to come and order. I don’t know if these students are really unreasonable or really drinkable or crazy after the exam. I ordered three dozen beers at once, and said that even if there are 20 people, it’s less than two bottles per person. At the end, I added a sentence that is not enough.

When the wine was really delivered, there were two long rows on the tea table, and everyone held up their mobile phones to take pictures, but not many people picked up a bottle to drink after the photo was taken, and there were quite a few girls who shared a bottle with each other. Take small sips.I was nestled on the sofa and drank a bottle. I was staring at the twenty or so bottles of wine that hadn’t been touched on the tea table in a daze when Wu Haoyu finally came.

He opened the door and came in, and the first sentence was: "Wow, so much wine."

It was already after eight o'clock at this time, and with the blessing of wine, those who came late could catch up with the punishment. Someone made Wu Haoyu blow a bottle directly, and the wine was stuffed into his hand, and there was a voice saying that it would be okay if he didn't drink and sing Yes, Wu Haoyu was evading left and right, they suddenly changed their minds and let me decide.

I thought it was funny to see Wu Haoyu being troubled, but I was asked to choose, I really didn’t know what to choose, of course I wanted to hear him sing more, but suddenly I was a little jealous, there are so many people here, once he sings, everyone Everyone must have heard it, so I said, "Drink."

There was a lot of laughter in the private room, Wu Haoyu scolded me dumbfounded: "You are sick!"

He raised his head and blew a bottle of wine in two breaths, then hiccupped loudly, wiped the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand, took two steps around the legs of the crowd, came to sit next to me, as soon as his buttocks touched the sofa As if there were no bones, the whole person leaned on me, with his head resting on my arm, and the people around him made teasing voices: "Oh——"

I was a little embarrassed, looked down at Wu Haoyu, and asked him: "Are you drunk?"

"How is it possible, I'm too tired, I ran here."

"Ah?" I was surprised, and when I was about to move, Wu Haoyu pushed me down, "Don't move, I'm exhausted. Can you believe it, this time, the subway is full of people, and the road is also blocked. I I'm almost out of breath in the subway, shit."

"Then what are you running for?"

"Aren't I late, hurry up, I'm more than an hour late, can anyone be later than me?"

"That's not necessarily the case, as long as you are 10 minutes earlier, there are still people coming."

"Is there a fine for drinking?"

"No, at that time the wine hadn't been served yet, and the punishment was singing. She was a girl."

"I'm a girl too."

I almost didn't spit out a sip of wine, coughed and heard Wu Haoyu continue to say: "I mean I can sing too."

"Cough," I said calmly, "Didn't I hear it?"

After hearing this, Wu Haoyu sat up straight silently. He was a little embarrassed, and responded bluntly: "...Oh."

"The one you said..."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...' Wu Haoyu got up and ran away from me, hiding at a distant table to play dice at the speed of light.

I didn't catch him, so I just grinned to myself.

Let Wu Haoyu open his mouth to sing a song. I think I have been begging to be coerced and induced. I haven’t tried any methods. He just doesn’t sing. Okay, but why is it so difficult to move? Every time at this time, I have to dig out the video of the semi-finals that he was secretly recorded, and I come back to the conclusion that this person is really arrogant.

The hard-to-open Chrysostom finally sang to me a few days ago.

It's hard to describe, but to put it simply, Wu Haoyu played and sang a song, and then said something, recorded it as a video, and gave it to me as a birthday present.I still remember the feeling when I watched that video for the first time, it was hard to describe, I could think of many things, but my head was empty, I was so surprised that a mushroom cloud exploded in my heart, so surprised that I didn’t seem to Knowing this person in the video, I wanted to find an adjective to praise him, or to express my surprise, but after watching it, I just felt that I was soaked in warm water, dizzy, and my vision and hearing were poisoned.

The people in the video are so cool, without any introduction, they just started playing, licked their lips before singing the first line, and then finished singing smoothly.I didn't see him with the guitar, I didn't see him play the guitar, I didn't even know he could play the guitar, I remember vaguely hearing him say something like that, but then it went away.The song was still the one he sang in the rematch, which he himself called black history, and he said that he would never sing it again.I was really surprised and unfamiliar. I had never seen his voice, articulation, expression, and movements. All of them were given to me at once, and I didn't know which one to start to become familiar with.

He hardly looked at the camera, and most of the time he was looking down at the fingerboard. He raised his head after singing the last line, pursed his lips as if embarrassed, stood up and moved forward slightly, and then when the camera went dark, this part was broken, and the latter part The scene in the scene was changed to his bedroom. He should have put his mobile phone horizontally on the table. When the picture started, he was sitting at the table in his school uniform, with his hands folded, as if he was in some kind of conference call.

He said he wished me a happy birthday. This part was not in the video, but he added it the day before.

He said that he had something to say, but he found it difficult to say it, and thought about writing it, but it was because he didn't say it in time that he suffered a big loss, so he must learn from it.

He said that looking at it in a simple way, he didn’t communicate well with me, and he didn’t have a firm united front, so when facing the school and parents, he could only act on the spot in the later stage, and the tacit understanding was not cultivated in place, so that there was a completely different situation. Especially in the last meeting with parents, he took the initiative to say two words that sounded ambiguous, and put on a vague attitude. At that time, he hoped that I would stop making noise, and I did not make any more noise. , but the follow-up developed in a direction that he had never thought of.

He said that he thought this was the reason at first, but is it really just because we didn’t communicate well beforehand? No, it’s because he knew from the beginning that I was stubborn about our feelings, but he never understood pass me.

He said that he chatted with Liang Shuyun a few days ago. She said that he did not miss my underage.

He said that he did not miss my underage, but it was only in the last day or two that he understood the meaning of youth at this age.

He said that he hadn't liked anyone desperately, so he thought it was stupid of me to like him desperately, which was the biggest mistake from the beginning to the end.

He said that what has not changed is that he still thinks I am stupid, why not tell him, he doesn’t understand, I can tell him, tell him my situation and my embarrassment, tell him not to be self-righteous, smart and self-assertive, tell him He should not talk nonsense that makes me worry, tell him not to let me go forward alone, tell him that I am not willing to lie to others against my true thoughts, tell him that I will not be wronged for people I don’t care about, I care Tell him that I don't allow him to compromise or sacrifice to change the game, tell him that I am not afraid of others knowing my relationship with him under any circumstances, and tell him that I will always be upright in these two things.

He said that if he had understood earlier, he would have changed it.

He said that he is a person who doesn't like to talk a lot. He thinks that words and love are worth a promise, so how cautious is he? He is so cautious that he doesn't even say the three words that he loves me so easily. Auntie is brave and rebellious once, but she dared not even say the word "love me" until it was too late.

What he said that he didn't say in time was not to tell me in advance how to fool parents and teachers, but that he didn't tell me that he loved me earlier so that I could tell the world that I love him with confidence.

He said, why not tell him, why not tell him.

He said that he was afraid that I would regret it, and I would regret it when I think about it in the future. He was the one who held me back, and never became the backing that I don't have to worry about when I look back.

He said he knew it was too late, it was really late, it was too late to say he loved me, it was too late to express his determination, it was too late, the loss was too heavy to make up for, and he might not be given a chance to correct his mistakes and avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. No matter it is big or small, he will take the initiative to communicate and explain, and he will never play tricks and opportunistic tricks again.

He said the last line of that song, he secretly sang it to me on a lunch break a long time ago, when I fell asleep, that was the song he wanted to sing to me after he knew he liked me.

I pulled the video back, and the last sentence he sang was——

I realized that it was hard, hard, hard, to love you.

In the KTV, Wu Haoyu was finally pushed up to sing several songs, which were good, but they were not as good as the confession he sang to me in the video on my birthday.

The box was booked until one o'clock in the night, and everyone really made a fuss until one o'clock in the night. Those students who were rumored to have access control were all kept until the end. With the last bit of sobriety, I left.

Wu Haoyu seems to be very unlucky, he kept drinking while playing dice with others, but when he finally walked out of the KTV, his footsteps were more stable than mine. A group of people kept going to get the buffet and come back to eat, eat and drink.It’s a good idea for one person to have less than two bottles. In fact, there are a lot of people who don’t drink at all. The remaining amount is all settled by game pies and food pies. Now I know that there are no people who can drink, and those who don’t. all.

Wu Haoyu took a taxi and asked me if I would follow him back to his house. I was a little surprised and asked, "Where is Auntie?"

"she's back."

"Which house are you going back to now?"

"A rented room next to the school."

"Why don't you go home? Auntie can't control you?"

"Whatever it is, I can't control it, I don't care."

"……what?"

Wu Haoyu raised his head and stared at me, his eyes were sober as if he had drunk alcohol, "Do you want to go home with me?"

"Will you want to..."

I was actually a little uncomfortable when I was sitting in the taxi. I said I would vomit if I sat like this again. Wu Haoyu asked me to lie on his lap. When I saw him playing with his mobile phone, I felt strange and asked, "Why do you Have a cell phone?"

"My mother returned it to me today."

"She really doesn't care about you?"

"The college entrance examination is over today, so be sober."

"By the way, I forgot to ask how you did in the exam? Can you get the top prize?"

"Oh shit——" Wu Haoyu hastily reached out and covered my mouth, "Can you keep a check on your mouth? It's not bad if you can get out of the examination room alive if you are still number one."

……

I've drank, and I like the feeling that all the senses are swollen, but it's so bold.

I was paralyzed on the sofa first, and then slipped to the floor after a while. I felt hot, so I took off my shirt and threw it on Wu Haoyu. He was walking towards me with two glasses of water, and was thrown by his clothes. Zhong paused, came over to put down the cup, then went back to pick up the clothes and put them on the back of the chair beside him.

I said, "Why are you so sober? How much did you drink?"

"I poured it out to drink in the end, who knows how much I drank."

"Why do you look more awake than me?"

Wu Haoyu also sat down beside me, and looked at me speechlessly, "I think you drank a lot."

"I think so too." I reached for my phone that had fallen into the crack of the sofa, and clicked on the music player to play some songs.

I clumsily pressed the phone screen hard, Wu Haoyu suddenly held my hand, I looked up at him for no reason, his eyes seemed to be filled with water, but he didn't look like he was going to cry at all, just Eyes half-opened lazily, blurred and awake.Wu Haoyu has the kind of appearance that gets better the more you look at it. He leaned on the edge of the sofa and looked at me, his eyes were so soft that it was unbelievable. He said, "Can you promise me one thing?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Why don't you listen first?"

"I promise you anything."

"Can you, can you not regret it in the future, can you always like me like this? Don't change, can you always be?"

"It's a bit difficult," I shook my head, "and it's not one thing, it's many things."

Wu Haoyu pursed his lips, and said again: "Then just the first one, can you not regret it in the future, and if you must regret it, don't separate from me."

"Don't you remember what I told you that night? What did I say?"

"you say……"

"I said I will never regret it, it will never change."

Wu Haoyu stopped talking, he pursed his lips, looking grievous, I stretched out my arms to hug him, and repeated to him word by word: "I will never change, I will always love you more than the day before, if you like I, I will always, I will never regret it, I will always be willing, I will always carry it for you when the sky falls, I promise you, you believe in me."

He closed his eyes and kept nodding, like a child, afraid that the last second's reward would be taken back by adults.

I looked at him, and suddenly understood the meaning of the phrase "missing the underage". My mind was replaying the past clips like a revolving lantern, reminding me that I missed his underage.We've only been together for just nine months, but I've known him for 12 years. How can I make up for the nine years that were lost.

The author has something to say: I love you honestly