the little things in life

Xu Xingzhi was so angry that he threw his notebook on the ground and yelled loudly: "Lin Chuyuan! You want me to forget you, how? How? Did you forget that we are going to see the aurora together? Did you forget?" Do you want to have a good life with me? You fucking made me forget you now!" He cursed loudly, stomped on the notebook a few times, then collapsed to the ground, crying.

Teacher Liang didn't know what to say, so he could only stand beside him silently.It might not be a bad thing to let him cry once at this time.The people around were frightened by this man who was furious and weeping bitterly, and hurriedly avoided.The more Xu Xingzhi cried, the louder he tore his hair, crying until he was exhausted.A cleaning aunt came over and swept away the dirty notebook thrown on the ground with a broom. Xu Xingzhi saw it and quickly got up and rushed over, snatched the notebook back and held it in his arms.He ignored the surprised look of the cleaning lady, got up and left.

Maybe it was because he cried a lot to vent the complicated pain accumulated in his heart, Xu Xingzhi felt calmer.He came to the hospital and looked at Lin Chuyuan through the glass. He had more tubes and more medicines beside him. Although Xu Xingzhi was extremely resistant to this reality, he also knew what it meant. DR.S told him that it might not be long before Lin Chuyuan left.Xu Xingzhi staggered out of the doctor's office with his almost collapsed body. He almost knelt down and grabbed the doctor's white coat and begged him for help.He didn't, and he knew it was useless and would only cause trouble for the doctor.He is like a small boat swept by the monstrous waves, powerless to change the fate of being swept into the vortex and smashed to pieces.

Teacher Liang sat outside and waited for him. She sat with him for a long time.Teacher Liang said: "Xiao Xu, don't blame him, he doesn't want to, it's too sudden, what you can do now is say goodbye to him well, and let him feel at ease." Teacher Liang took Xu Xingzhi's hand, Hope to pass some warmth to him in despair. "He definitely wants you to be healthy and happy, and he definitely doesn't want to see you sad..."

Xu Xingzhi sat blankly next to Teacher Liang, his mind was full of images of him and Lin Chuyuan together, Lin Chuyuan's singing, Lin Chuyuan's smile, and Lin Chuyuan's warm hands. "I am willing to bid farewell to him. I know that what he has been pursuing is the peace of life and death, I know." If he had to bid farewell, he also wanted Lin Chuyuan to fulfill his wish and did not want to make him uneasy.After thinking about it, Xu Xingzhi decided to make some preparations for the farewell. He returned to the hotel, washed up, shaved, and put on a black suit. He was going to see his lover for the last time, and they had to say goodbye , he didn't want Lin Chuyuan to see his ugly appearance.He took the gift he had prepared, and bought a bouquet of flowers near the hospital.

When he returned to the hospital, he passed a small church next to the hospital, where many family members of patients prayed.In fact, he passed by here every time, but he used to pass by distractedly, and had no time to see this church at all.The holy gospel echoed in the church, and it seemed to spread out.Xu Xingzhi was involuntarily attracted by the music and walked into the church.There are many people in the church, and most of them knelt in front of the icon and prayed with their hands folded.Xu Xingzhi walked to the front of the reading table, looked at the icon of the loving Virgin Mother embracing the Holy Child, and listened to the gospel that soothed the scars in his heart, and suddenly felt a sense of sustenance in his heart.He knelt down piously, put the notebook left by Lin Chuyuan on the table with both hands, pressed his forehead against the clasped hands, and prayed with the people around him: "Almighty and merciful God, you are the soul of life." Yuan, please bless the sick people so that they may bravely face the torment of the disease with hope and confidence, and please give them the strength to endure the suffering of the disease, so that they can receive appropriate treatment, recover soon, and return to health. You protect the relatives and friends of the sick, and give them the grace of patience and service, so that while caring for the sick, they also know how to balance their emotions and maintain their physical and mental health. Amen."

Xu Xingzhi never thought that one day he would have faith and convert.Maybe it was because he didn't know the suffering and didn't believe in gods[4], but now he feels that there is nothing he can do. His heart is ups and downs in the sea of ​​suffering. In order to get even a little bit of comfort.

"Go in, remember to reassure him and say goodbye." Teacher Liang patted Xu Xingzhi on the shoulder.Xu Xingzhi put on the protective gown and walked into the ward with flowers and gifts.After repeated requests, he and Teacher Liang were granted a chance to visit at close range.

Xu Xingzhi took a deep breath, stabilized his emotions, don't make Lin Chuyuan sad, don't make him uneasy, Xu Xingzhi told himself repeatedly, and then he walked in.He eagerly took the hand of his lover whom he hadn't seen for nearly four months.At this time, his hand was not as warm as he remembered. His hand was thin and skinny, and the dry and rough skin made Xu Xingzhi feel that it was not a hand, but a dead branch.He couldn't restrain his heartache, and held that hand tightly, unable to bear to look again.He looked at Lin Chuyuan's thin sunken cheeks, which were covered by a huge mask.He gently stroked Lin Chuyuan's smooth forehead with his own hand.Lin Chuyuan closed his eyes tightly, but his brows were stretched, as if he had fallen asleep peacefully.Xu Xingzhi thought, God bless, he did not suffer too much pain.Wearing a protective mask, he couldn't kiss him, so he could only use his hands to trace his outline over and over again, engraving him in his memory.Xu Xingzhi cherishes this short time very much.He said in Lin Chuyuan's ear: "Daughter-in-law, I miss you so much! Do you miss me? Do you want to see me?" He looked at Lin Chuyuan after he finished speaking, but he didn't respond. Still lying motionless on the hospital bed.He held back his tears and said, "Don't worry, I will live a good life, so that I can take good care of your mother, she is also my mother." He kissed Lin Chuyuan's face through the mask, and then pressed it against his ear Said: "But you made me forget you, I'm sorry, I can't do it." Xu Xingzhi took out the platinum pair of rings he had prepared, and he put a ring on the ring finger of his left hand, then knelt down on one knee , held Lin Chuyuan's left hand, kissed it, and put another ring on him: "No matter in health or disease, in good or bad times, in the eyes of the world, in life or death, you will always be my lover." Lin Chuyuan , Up to the nine heavens and blue sky, down to the netherworld, you are my lover, you have to wait for me, not let me forget you!A drop of Xu Xingzhi's tear fell on Lin Chuyuan's eyelashes, and the eyelashes trembled, and then the tear slid down Lin Chuyuan's eye sockets and cheeks, it looked like Lin Chuyuan was crying.

The author has something to say: [4] "Slaying the Wolf" from P University

I can't say anything other than 55555~~~

☆、Chapter 37