Give the slag and accept the end

(interludes)

[I will never like you in my life. 】

Yang Fei will remember this sentence all his life.

In fact, he can't remember when he fell in love with Lin Shu, and he doesn't know why he liked it, and when he realized his liking, it was already too late, and even Qian Xiaoxing found out that something was wrong with him .

"Hey, why haven't you been arguing recently?"

"what?"

"Why do you talk less these days? What are you doing sneaking around behind your black curtain every day?" As he spoke, Qian Xiaoxing opened his desk curtain without authorization, took a look and found that there was nothing special inside, and opened the curtain again. lay down.

"No, nothing, I'm reading." When Qian Xiaoxing opened the curtains, his heart jumped into his throat.

"Tsk, are you a reader?" Qian Xiaoxing said casually in disbelief.Their usual relationship is not very good, and a move like today can be regarded as close.

After waiting for Qian Xiaoxing to leave, he quietly took out the things covered by the book - a few long bags of colored paper, and a few poorly folded stars.

He was going to make a thousand of them and give them to Lin Shu, and then confess his love on Valentine's Day.He really liked Lin Shu so much, and at that time he always felt that Lin Shu treated him a little differently.

He has reason to think so.

For example, on the first day of school, Lin Shu invited his dormitory students to dinner. When he drank, he had never drank alcohol and didn’t know that he was allergic to alcohol. So after drinking that day, his whole body was covered with red bumps, hot and itchy. It was unbearable.Although everyone in the dormitory was worried about his accident, it was Lin Shu who carried him downstairs to the hospital outside in the end, and it was Lin Shu who kept his bed up all night and called the nurse on duty to change the bottle for him.

For example, he brags to the dormitory that he has money in his family and his parents have a good job. The reason why he doesn't give him money is because he wants to train him.The word got out, the dormitory invites one person once a month for a dinner party, and every time it is his turn, he invites a small hot pot that is not very valuable. Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing eat a few times Not too happy, he felt guilty about it, but he really had no money.Later, he invited them again, so he took out his meal money for the next month and treated them to a big meal. When he ran to pay the bill, the cashier told him that the bill had already been settled.It was Lin Shu who helped to make it.

For another example, for a year, Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing always bothered him because they disliked him, but Lin Shu never did.Occasionally, when he was too busy to have time to eat, he would always find fruit and snacks on his table when he returned to the dormitory. When he asked, it was Lin Shu who bought them for the whole dormitory, nothing special.But there were too many such coincidences, every time he came back hungry after working late.

He didn't know where his self-confidence came from, but he felt that Lin Shu was interested in him, and believed that the two of them had friendship with each other, so he had the idea of ​​confessing.

Lin Shu's birthday is approaching, and he wants to give Lin Shu a "surprise".

Because Qian Xiaoxing had already noticed his abnormality, he had no way to continue stacking stars in the dormitory, so he had to move his position and ran to the grove behind the dormitory of the next department, where he spent a month of piecemeal time.

It took 5 minutes to stack a star at the beginning, and it only took 2 minutes to stack a star. He stacked one bottle after another, one hundred, two hundred, five hundred, nine hundred, and one thousand.Eleven bottles in total.

On the day after folding, he hugged the bottle by the woods and fantasized about Lin Shu's surprised expression all day long. After returning home, he wrote an emotional love letter. .11 bottles hold that love letter.

After that, he returned to his seat and waited for Lin Shu to return to the dormitory.That day, Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing were going to go out to the Internet cafe to play games all night and would not come back, so he dared to do it so obviously. When Qian Xiaoxing came back to withdraw the money and asked, he said that he handed it over for the girl.

He waited restlessly in the dormitory all afternoon, holding a book in his hand but didn't read a word.

Finally, at seven or eight o'clock in the evening, he waited for Lin Shu to come.

"Whose things?" Lin Shu asked with a frown when he saw a pile of bottles containing stars on his desk after returning to the room.

"Someone gave you a gift." He said shyly.

Lin Shu didn't notice his expression, but thought that some girl who had a crush on him had someone hand it over, so she said, "If you want these things, you can take them. If you don't want them, I'll throw them away."

"Throw it away? But it's a gift from someone else, throw it away...isn't it good to throw it away?" He opened his best-folded bottle, Xing Xing, and poured out two from it, "Look, It’s so nice to stack, it must be stacked by someone who likes you very carefully, otherwise you wouldn’t have stacked so many, you see so many, there must be a thousand of them, how long will it take..."

Lin Shu interrupted him: "It doesn't matter how long it takes."

"Then... then you should read the letter. After all, it's someone's wish, why don't you read it." He took out the letter from the bottle and handed it to Lin Shu.

Lin Shu still showed a lack of interest, but because of his persistence, he finally accepted the letter helplessly.Open it and look at it. After ten seconds, I raised my eyes and looked straight at him.

"Why..." He was a little nervous and asked expectantly, "You, what do you think?"

Although the letter was not signed, Lin Shu could recognize his handwriting.

"How about what?" Lin Shu asked expressionlessly.He walked to his desk, took a plastic bag and put the letter in it, then turned around and asked him, "Do you still want the stars? If you don't want them, I'll throw them away."

He was stunned for a moment, and smiled dryly: "I believe you have finished reading, do you not have... any thoughts?"

"No."

This answer was too straightforward, so he didn't know how to react.Standing there stupidly for more than ten seconds, groaning for a long time, lowered his head and said in a low voice: "You know, do you know who wrote this letter to you?"

Lin Shu looked at him: "I know."

In an instant, his heart, which had been boiling for a long time, suddenly became cold.He was so embarrassed that he laughed dryly a few times and swallowed twice, trying to calm down his voice as much as possible.

"Oh, that star..."

Lin Shu said, "Yang Fei, I will never like you in my life."

boom!

It was as if an atomic bomb had exploded in his ears, blowing his heart into a barren waste.At the same time, a worse thing happened——Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing arrived at the door of the dormitory at some time, and they were looking at them with their mouths wide open in surprise.They must have heard what Lin Shu said.

"You, you..." Wu Yang was full of disbelief.So is Qian Xiaoxing.

"Lin Shu, this..."

There seemed to be needle pricks on the ground, and he felt like he couldn't stand up.The lie came out of his mouth, but his mind was blank at this moment. He looked at Lin Shu, and Lin Shu looked at him.

Lin Shu didn't say anything, turned around and put the eleven bottles side by side into plastic bags.And he was watching from the side, like a wooden man.He saw Lin Shu packed eleven bottles of Xing Xing and brought them out the door. He followed him out and saw Lin Shu throw the bag into the trash can that smelled like lunch box soup.

He stood motionless by the trash can, and Lin Shu brushed past him.Later, he heard Lin Shu say to Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing, "I want you to keep what happened today a secret."

Wu Yang and Qian Xiaoxing were not talkative people, and they kept their promises afterwards, and never said anything about it in the next two years.

That night, he didn't go back to the dormitory, nor did he pick up the stars and love letters in the trash can.He went to the grove where the stars were stacked a month ago, and cried silently all night in it.

He regretted it terribly.

It's not that I regret that I will give my heart, but that I regret that my toad wants to eat swan meat and scares the swan away.

Later, Lin Shu left the country.

Wu Yang was right when he scolded him: "You don't weigh your weight and weight, you fantasize about this and that all day long, like this and that, what right do you have to like this, what ability do you have to like it? What kind of family do you have? Family, you don’t know what you are like? Don’t you know if people think of you?”

Really no count.But now there is.

Qian Xiaoxing pulled Wu Yang: "Okay, stop talking."

Wu Yang said: "Why don't I say it anymore? Our dormitory has endured him for so long. It's enough to make up this lie and make up that story all day. What's there to make up? You treat us as blind, and you can't see what you are wearing. A T-shirt worth more than ten yuan, can’t you see your 30 yuan shoes? Is it interesting to treat people around you as idiots? Let me tell you, you are sick, and you should be cured as soon as possible. Everything went wrong!"

Later, Wu Yang really reported his "illness" to the instructor.The counselor asked him to go to a psychologist, see a doctor, and contact his parents.

He is not afraid of anything, but he is afraid that the school will contact the parents.His adoptive parents hate it when he says outside that they are his parents. If they want to let them know, even if he gives money, the adoptive parents will not want him anymore.

In desperation, he knelt down to the instructor.The director was frightened by him, so he said that he would not contact him.

After returning to the dormitory, Wu Yang heard that he hadn't gone to see a doctor, so he was so angry that he wanted to go to the counselor again.He couldn't imagine what he would do if he lost his adoptive parents again after losing Lin Shu.Is he going back to the orphanage again?

No, he can't go back to the orphanage either.All the people in the orphanage knew that he was adopted and had a good life. If they knew that he was abandoned again, they would definitely laugh at him.And he will become like a stray dog.Thinking of the feeling of being evicted by his adoptive parents again and again, he was extremely desperate.

When he came back to his senses, he had already knelt down to Wu Yang.

In the end, Wu Yang didn't look for the instructor again, but he moved out consciously because he was too an eyesore in the dormitory.One person rented an entire house and worked hard every day to afford the rent and living expenses.

Over time, he was far away from the crowd.

No one looked at him anymore, no one paid attention to him anymore, he seemed to have become transparent, and no one could see him anymore.Sometimes on the road, a fellow classmate came to meet him, and he raised his hand to say hello, but the other party passed by as if he hadn't seen him, and laughter and laughter sounded behind him, which didn't belong to him.

In this way, day by day, year by year, I passed everyone I knew, and slowly, everyone became strangers.

And he himself, he didn't know when, he became like he didn't even know him.

On the morning of Christmas, when he was in class, he heard Wu Yang say that "Lin Shu" had returned. At that moment, there was no disturbance in his heart.Two years later, he thought that the name "Lin Shu" didn't have much trace in his heart anymore.

After class, he returned to his room, which hadn't been cleaned in two months, and fell asleep amidst the clutter.I didn't know what dream I had in the dream. When I woke up, my face was full of tears, and my heart was inexplicably sad, crying uncontrollably.

Just cry, it's getting dark.

He puts on a clown suit, puts on scribbled makeup, and goes to school.

He saw the man who threw away his love without the slightest hesitation: more handsome, more mature, more elegant, wearing a black trench coat, wearing a dark checked British style scarf, with a slender neck, His eyes are cold, like an unattainable swan.

He thought: I don't want you to love me, as long as you can see me.

"Lin Shu!" He called the swan.

The swan saw him and just looked at him: "What do you want to say?"

He wanted to say too much, but he didn't know where to start.Full of longing, full of grievances, all the joy and joy came to my mouth, and there was only one word left.

"Hi."

"That Yang Fei didn't come?"

"No, my cell phone has been blocked and I can't make calls." The assistant said angrily, "This person must be sick. He promised to come, but he didn't come."

"I asked you to find someone in person, but you only made a phone call?" Director Liu grimaced.

The assistant was severely criticized and ordered to find someone.

When the people left, Director Liu took out his mobile phone and repeatedly watched the unedited original clown video he found, stroked the stubble on his chin and said to the actor Zhang Xing beside him, "Come and see, this is what you want to perform. look."

Zhang Xing watched from the side, frowning in thought.

Director Liu continued: "That's the feeling, the extreme exaggeration of loneliness."

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== Chatted with college roommate group for [-] hours today, and then...uh...orz

The second update is half written and I can't hold on anymore. I will get up tomorrow morning and make up some more and post it.Go to bed early, everyone, good night.