Give the slag and accept the end

Yang Fei took off his make-up in the backstage bathroom, and when he came out to go home, he was pointed and laughed all the way.

"That's it, see?"

"Huh? She looks okay, it's completely different from the one in the video."

"You don't know, he looks okay, and the others..."

Yang Fei didn't listen, he just vomited out of the bathroom, his mind was in a mess, his whole body was weak, he just wanted to go home and lie down.Yesterday, he made handmade dolls all night. When he got up in the morning, he found that he had caught a cold, but he couldn’t rest. Today was the last day for him to pay money, and he didn’t have enough money.Originally, he was going to skip the exam and go out to do some errand work, but he didn't expect that the troupe called him early in the morning and told him to come and play an actor who was temporarily absent.

The actor he replaced was considered a relatively important protagonist, and he could be paid more than 1000 yuan for one performance, and he went there as soon as he heard the price.Because the actor himself had a bad temper before, no one could play against him, so every time he got stuck, he was sent to be a punching bag. Over time, he just stood aside and watched and remembered everyone's role.

In the morning, I only hurriedly lined up once before playing impromptuly.

In one of the crying scenes, he cried so hard and devoted himself on the stage that he frightened the audience and kept applauding.After getting down, the person became soft, and a sudden sweat broke out. A black man in front of him lay on the ground for a long time and didn't recover. He just spat out a mouthful of clear water on the ground after being pulled up.

Several people carried him to the bathroom, where he vomited for a long time before resting.When he came back to his senses, there were only one or two little actors who were not familiar with him by his side, and he gave him the money for acting today, and he said thank you more than a dozen times, and he continued to say it when they left.

While talking, he lay down on the edge of the sink and dozed off. He was so tired that he was woken up again after sleeping for half an hour. He got up, took off his makeup, and went out in a daze.

Along the way, he couldn't hear anything, and his mind went blank.Except for the theater, he took the bus back home, fell asleep halfway through and sat for two stops to the end, and was finally called up by the driver.After getting out of the car, my stomach hurt and I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to go home by car, but thought it was only a ten-minute journey, and it was really not worth spending a dollar, so I walked back slowly, clutching my stomach.

Went upstairs, opened the door, and entered the house.He first sent the remaining 2000 yuan to his adoptive parents. After the remittance was successful, he fell directly on the bed. As soon as he closed his eyes, his consciousness fell into darkness in an instant.

Of course he didn't hear the ringing of the cell phone in his back pocket when he fell asleep, and of course, even if he did, he wouldn't necessarily get up.

Even though he was tired like this, he would still dream when he fell asleep.

After a while, he dreamed that he was being chased and killed. He ran and ran, but he couldn't run fast, and then he was stabbed to death by the person behind him.Waking up within two seconds, exhaustion dragged him back to the nightmare. This time he dreamed that he flew up while running, flying higher and higher, and flew to the top of a mountain. He was so tired that he grabbed onto the rock to rest. Continuing to climb up, he suddenly became unstable, the stone was broken, and he fell down.

Woke up again.

He fell asleep again.

For the third time, he dreamed that he became a prisoner on death row. Like in ancient TV dramas, he was tied up and knelt on the platform in the middle of the afternoon market, surrounded by crowds watching him, and people shouted "Kill" to him. ", "kill", "kill"!

He was sweating all over and wanted to say "I don't want to die yet", but he couldn't open his mouth, because in the dream, he clearly knew that he had committed a crime, and he also committed the unforgivable crime of beheading.The moment the knife fell, he closed his eyes and the knife landed on his neck.The pain in the back of the neck seemed to be infinitely slowed down, the bloody picture was close-up in front of his eyes, the knife cut open his flesh little by little, then down, down...

"Ah!" Yang Fei screamed and struggled to wake up, sweating profusely.

His palms were sweating as if he had just washed his hands, and the sheets were all wet, not to mention his clothes, the layer of underwear that Lin Shu gave him was already soaked.His hair was also wet, and the sweat on his face kept rolling from the corner of his forehead to his eye sockets, and then slid down his cheeks to his chin and neck.

He panted heavily, the panic in his eyes could not dissipate for a long time.He didn't know how long he sat on the bed in a daze, he seemed to have lost control of time, he didn't know when to move, and he didn't know when to stop.

This sense of loss of control has been firmly controlling him, until his mobile phone suddenly "buzzed" and vibrated, bringing him back to reality.

He slowly moved his hand over to pick up the phone. The phone seemed to weigh seven or eight catties, and his hand trembled violently.After pressing the password twice, the display was incorrect, probably because his hands were sweating too much, which affected the recognition ability of the screen.He wiped his hands on the sheet and re-gambled before going in.

The entry is a line of thanks from the Huaguo Bone Marrow Bank.

It was not sent to him, he had never donated bone marrow, but he had donated other things, to be precise, he had sold them.

When he was in good health two years ago, he sold blood for college tuition.His blood type is very precious, it is Rh-negative blood type A, panda blood in panda blood, so he sold it for a lot of money.Maybe he had a lot of blood pumping. His health has not been very good in the past two years, so he doesn't sell much unless necessary.

At the beginning of this semester, I sold it once to collect tuition fees. Before I went, I discussed the blood volume and price with others, but after I went, I was forced to draw twice the agreed amount of blood. He passed out directly in the hospital.When he woke up, the man didn't give him any money, so he got up and asked someone for money, but the man slapped him in the face, threw a dozen banknotes on him, and scolded him.

"Do you know how much I paid for my wife's medical treatment? You have so much blood, and you want me four thousand for just two injections? Why don't you go grab it? My heart is so dark! To be honest, it's 1000 yuan I don't even want to give it to you, donating blood is something everyone should do, if you don't do it, you will die, and you still use it to make money, how can you be hit by a car so that you are not a person who is obsessed with interests like you?" Said, then The man kicked him again.

In the end, he still didn't want the 4000 yuan that he had negotiated. He just picked up the 300 yuan that was thrown everywhere on the ground one by one and left.

On the way back, he looked at the passing vehicles and played what the man said over and over again in his mind, thinking that he really deserved to be scolded and beaten.If one day he was hit by a car, if he ran into someone like him who would not donate blood without giving money, then a poor ghost like him must have died on the operating table long ago.

Yang Fei usually doesn't think about his own affairs very much, but occasionally, a little doubt arises: why is life so difficult?Is it this hard for everyone?Why is it that other people are born with something that he doesn't have?Why is it that other people can spend every day happily and enjoy the troubles of youth and happiness, but he has to sell blood and be beaten for thousands of dollars in tuition?

why?

Why didn't his biological parents want him?Why did his adoptive parents treat him so well before, but after having a younger brother, they sent him back to the orphanage?He is obviously good at studies, he got the first place in his class, the first place in the whole school, and even the first place in the city, so why didn't his adoptive parents even look at him?

He couldn't figure it out, and later read in a book of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Mencius once said: "Heaven will send a great task to the people, and they must first suffer from their minds, muscles and bones, starve their skin, and empty their bodies." , Happiness messes with what it does, so it is tempting to endure and gain what it cannot.So we must learn to be grateful for setbacks, for suffering, for your enemies, for everything you have encountered, because it is these that make you stronger.

So, he began to try not to complain, and began to become strong.

The book also said: "Crying is also a day, and a smile is also a day. Why not be happy and spend every day happily? Only those with positive energy will be popular and liked by others. No one will like you. A person with a sad face full of negative energy. If you want to be liked by others, you must become more optimistic, positive, positive, and smile at life."

You are right.

Yang Fei thought that no one liked him because he was too negative.this is not good.

So, he started laughing and never stopped laughing.

It was painful at first, but later he got used to it. He also thought it was good to smile, because everyone around him would look at him and smile, and he brought joy to those around him.Everyone started to know him, and people greeted him on the road. He was no longer ignored, and even began to become the center of the crowd.

It has been a long, long time since he has experienced the feeling of being the focus of other people's eyes and standing in the center of the crowd.

Just like on the stage today, when he speaks, everyone's eyes are on him; when he cries, everyone applauds him; when his character dies in the play, everyone All silently mourned for him.Those eyes belonged to him alone, they all stared at him, looked at him, and looked at him seriously.

It feels so good.

He wanted to be watched, watched and watched.Watch him cry and watch him laugh, applaud him and smile at him.Just like when she was just adopted by her adoptive parents, she smiled at him like that, only had him in her eyes, and only looked at him; just like Lin Shu back then, no matter how busy she was, she would always look into his eyes and talk, and she was clear in the eyes of the other party. In his eyes, he can find his own shadow, his own shadow.

not someone else's.

Yang Fei sat on the bed for a long time, looked at the missed call from Lin Shu on his mobile phone, and slowly laughed.

Su Ying called Yang Fei seven or eight times but no one answered, and finally had to get on the plane.It was already eight o'clock in the evening when we got off the plane, and it was already past dinner time.

He was afraid that Yang Fei would not eat on time, so he called the food delivery restaurant, filled in Yang Fei's address, and asked them to deliver three meals a day during his absence.

After settling down, when he was about to call Yang Fei, his phone rang - it was Yang Fei who sent him a video request.

He just got off the plane, he was very tired and his complexion was not good-looking, so he hurriedly opened the "Mirror" app on his phone to take a picture before answering the call, and he cut his hair before answering the call.

He was shocked when he picked it up.

I saw the person on the phone put on heavy clown makeup, beckoned to the camera, and said with a smile, "Guess who I am?"

"..."

"Guess quickly! Guess quickly! Guess who I am, and there will be a prize for guessing right!" As he spoke, the clown began to cover his face with his hands like a face-changing in a Sichuan opera, and then took it away, turning into a hanged ghost, and then One cover and one change, it becomes a betta with puffy cheeks.The third time, it turned into a pig's nose, matching the shape, and the person on the opposite side of the video made two pig calls.

The other party made all kinds of funny faces, but Su Ying didn't feel like laughing at all, he just felt that the other party was pretending.

Thinking of the bad things I heard about Yang Fei that day, thinking of Yang Fei's lies, thinking of making seven or eight phone calls that couldn't get through, to be honest, when I saw Yang Fei like this, the same as when he was arranging his hair and demeanor. The anticipation was gone in an instant.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, and said in a tired and helpless tone, "Yang Fei, can you be a little more normal?"

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Good night.If there are no friends to make an appointment for dinner tomorrow, there will still be two shifts, at least one shift.mwah.