Give the slag and accept the end

It was a lifeless river, with black sparkling water under the moonlight, as if it was connected to another silent world, which could swallow all sounds, and he couldn't hear anything except his own breathing and crying. of.

Along this river, Zhou Bei ran for a long time, but he couldn't run to the end.

One day, he quarreled with his father, and his father beat him with a mop stick, pulled his hair and asked him, "Why don't you die?"

In fact, many people have said this sentence to him, such as his father, mother, brother, and aunt. Even the guests at home pointed to him and asked his mother: "Why do you keep him?"

Because he heard it too much, he always thought it was a normal sentence.It wasn't until I grew up that I realized that no one would say this unless they hated it deeply.

The desire to survive made him leave the home that frightened him, and came to this deserted river.

He cried so much that he couldn't see clearly, and couldn't breathe.

He thought: Maybe his father would be more satisfied when he died; his brothers and aunts would be happy when he died; after his death, he would no longer have to be beaten and scolded, and he would no longer have to be afraid of being kicked out of the house all the time.

No, it was never his home, it was their home, not his.

He has no home.

Why does everyone else have a home, but he doesn't?Why do other people like it, but he doesn't?Why can others laugh but not him?

Why is he different?Who will tell him?

There is no reason.Dad said he was born a mistake and no one likes a mistake.

The fence by the river was very short, and Zhou Bei could easily climb over it.On weekdays, when the upstream dam is open, the water will rush away, and when it rises, it will be two or three meters deep, but this day it is not.

The river was about one meter deep that day, perhaps not enough to drown an adult, but he was only 12 years old, and the water was less than 1.5 meters. The water was just enough to submerge his nose.

After all, he was a little scared, afraid that he would hurt if he fell suddenly, so he pulled the fence and squatted down, stretching his feet down little by little, but he still couldn't reach the water surface when he stretched all the way down.

He was so frightened that his jaw was trembling, his teeth were chattering, and his mind was full of the death image of himself drowning after falling.The first time it was unsuccessful, the foot was retracted.

After a while, I gathered up the courage to start the second suicide attempt.This time, he continued to move down like last time. One foot was unsteady, and the other foot suddenly stepped on the ground. He slid down suddenly, and in panic, he yelled and grabbed the railing.

Both feet were successfully soaked in the water, and he only needed to let go of his hands to realize his plan, but at this time he had forgotten his despair, and his heart was full of fear of death.

His hand was bleeding, but he didn't let go.He exhausted all his strength, kicked on the slope and slowly climbed up.Finally he climbed up, climbed over the fence, and came to the safety of land on the other side.

He sat on the ground and hugged his legs, trembling and crying silently, crying for his cowardice.

"Hey, kid over there, what are you doing?"

Zhou Bei turned his head and saw a man who was tall and handsome as someone from another world.

"Little friend, do you know what time it is? Why don't you go home? Where are your parents?"

He didn't dare to say that he came here to commit suicide, for fear that this person would send him to the police station, and then his father would beat him again if he found out.

"What's wrong with you?" The man squatted down and looked at him at a close distance, his voice was gentle enough to make him cry, "Why are you crying like this? Did you quarrel with your family?"

He hesitated, then nodded.

"So, you ran away from home?"

He nodded again.

"Run away from home, don't you have any money? Well, if you want, you can come with me, and you can take you to my house for one night. At dawn tomorrow, you can decide whether you want to go home, okay? Here You are a child, too dangerous."

He wiped away his tears and shook his head: "I won't go."

The man was a little embarrassed: "Well...don't go? Then...in this way, I will take you to KFC to eat something, you can stay there all night, and when the sun rises, you can go to the place you want to go, okay? ?”

He didn't agree or refuse. He sat there with his legs crossed and wept. He didn't say a word all night.

From such a close distance, he believed that the other party had clearly seen the tear stains on his face and swollen cheeks, as well as the shoes and trousers soaked in the water, but the other party didn't ask anything, and didn't force him to say anything. .Just accompany him quietly, standing beside him, leaning against the fence, smoking a cigarette, looking up at the stars in the sky.

It wasn't until dawn that the man said, "I'm leaving."

Before leaving, he left his mobile phone number and told him that if he wanted to run away from home next time, he could call him and he would take him to KFC for supper.

It was dawn after all.

Zhou Bei got up from the bed, looking at the bright sunlight outside the window, it seemed like a lifetime away.

He got up and fed the dog food to Chan Chan.After washing up, he put on the new clothes Su Ying bought for him.He had no appetite, only ate two slices of bread, and then sat down in front of the piano and played a piece.

The piano was delivered on the same day as the rose, so he threw away the rose and placed the piano by the window of the living room.

It was agreed to come back on January [-]th and [-]th, but Zhou Bei didn't wait until January [-]th to return to Suying, and the other party didn't make a phone call during that time.He called, and Su Ying only said that there was something to deal with at home, and he couldn't leave for the time being, so he asked him to take good care of himself.

The other party didn't reveal the specifics, but just listened to the tone, and felt that it might not be a trivial matter.

Zhao Lijiang got his current cell phone number from nowhere, and would send him text messages every day, telling him about the past.Sometimes it's some interesting things from the past, sometimes it's some good memories, of course, most of them are swear words that are difficult to look at directly, calling him a low. Don't be delusional.

He didn't dare to go out for several days, but today was the final exam, so he had to go out.Before going out, he set a shortcut key for the alarm call and edited the alarm text message. If he meets Zhao Lijiang, he will send the message immediately.

After making complete preparations, he carried Chan Chan out the door.

Unfortunately, the journey was uneventful.

He put Cicada in the pet shop.Although the clerk in the pet store didn't know him very well, he knew dogs, so he calmly carried the dog over and let him pick it up later.

"Zhou Bei?" Lu Ming happened to come in from the door.

"Brother Lu." Zhou Bei said, "I have an exam today, so I will foster Chan Chan in your store."

Lu Ming nodded: "No problem."

Seeing Zhou Bei, he remembered what happened at Su Ying's house.Yesterday, Su Ying called and chatted with him, told him about the situation at home, and asked him to help take care of Liu Yi, don't come out to stir up trouble, he will come back after the old man's funeral.

That day, Mr. Su had a cerebral hemorrhage, and he was sent to the hospital after spending 10,000+, but he couldn't be saved, so he went directly.After the funeral, the scene was so chaotic that it was unimaginable. In the end, Su Ying directly found two bodyguard teams, and threw out anyone who made noise at the funeral, including Su's mother.

The next day, I found a Feng Shui treasure to bury in the ground, but there was no cremation.According to the custom, it is necessary to guard the three spirits, and then to build graves and erect monuments, and the first seven days are over.

Today is the [-]th, Su Ying arrived at the airport last night, and must have returned in the morning.It's just that Zhou Bei doesn't know why, so it's not clear.

Thinking of the relationship between Zhou Bei and Su Ying, it was impossible for him to say that he didn't mind, but he was an outsider, not even qualified to point fingers.

"Then please."

"Yeah." Lu Ming thought for a while, and before Zhou Bei left, he added, "I wish you a smooth exam, come on."

"Thank you Brother Lu, I will." He thought, Lu Ming is really a good person.

This day was a theoretical exam, and the graduate students were all in the same exam room, so no surprise, he saw Liu Yi who hadn't seen him for a long time in the exam room.

Liu Yi's appearance was very haggard, completely opposite to her previous energetic appearance, she didn't say hello when she saw him, and just walked past him.

"Liu Yi." Zhou Bei called Liu Yi back, but the other party paused for a moment, but did not turn back.

Liu Yi seemed to want to get rid of him on purpose, she took her pen and left when it was time to hand in the paper, and was the first to leave the classroom door.

He didn't chase it out, and he didn't put away the pen and paper until the last time to hand in the paper.I wanted to send a text message to Liu Yi to ask what's wrong, but before he sent a text message, he received the other party's message.

[Zhou Bei, I really regret it, I can't face you for the time being. 】

He was a little worried, he didn't know what happened to Liu Yi, why he said such words, he was going to chase her out.As soon as he left the examination room, he encountered problems himself.

When he was leaving the examination room, the head of the department stopped him and said he wanted to chat with him.

The topic of the chat is: AIDS.

When he arrived at the office, the dean of the department told him tactfully that in view of the negative impact his illness had caused in the grades, all the classmates and teachers in the department hoped that he could temporarily suspend school for medical treatment.

"You know, we don't mean to discriminate or exclude you, but you also know how AIDS is transmitted, and someone reported that your private life is not that good... I mean, there are many girls in our department, and many people don't mind this. .”

There was no blood on Zhou Bei's face, but he was barely calm.After learning of his illness, he had long thought that such a day would come.

"I wonder if the person who came to the classroom to spread my story is a thin man in his 30s?"

The head of the department said: "Yes, one or two months ago, during the few days when you asked for leave, he came to the school and told every class that he had AIDS, and you... had sex...relationships."

"I see."

"Then...this..."

Zhou Bei was silent for a long time, and finally said: "I will think about it."

He didn't know how he got home, and his mind was blank.When he got to the door and opened it, he suddenly remembered that he didn't go to the pet store to pick up Chan Chan.

"Wow!" At this moment, Chan Chan suddenly squeezed out from the crack of the door and called out to him.

He was stunned for a moment, and then he realized something, quickly opened the door and rushed in. With just one glance, he saw Su Ying who had just come out of the bathroom.

Obviously it's only been ten days, but it seems like a few lifetimes have passed.

He really wanted to rush up and hug Zhuying, but his feet seemed to be on the ground, and he didn't listen at all.

The person in front of him seemed to still look the same and wear the same clothes, but he always felt that something was different.It seemed to be back on the day of his father's birthday, when he mustered up the courage to call out "Uncle", only to hear Su Ying say "I'm not your uncle, I'm Zhou Jiang's uncle" to him indifferently and disgustedly.

He had an intuition that if he ran over now... he would be pushed away.

"Why do you look like you're about to cry?" Su Ying walked over, "What's wrong with you?"

Zhou Bei blinked and forced a smile: "Who is going to cry?"

"Hmm..." Su Ying lifted his chin and looked at him carefully, "You obviously look very sad, did someone bully you?"

"No." Yes.

"Really not?"

"No."

Su Ying raised his eyebrows: "Okay, then why do you have this expression? Could it be that I bullied you?"

Zhou Bei didn't know what his expression was, but since Su Ying said so, it meant that his expression was really ugly.He pulled Su Ying's hand down and lowered his head.

Su Ying was really bored seeing him like this, but out of the mission, he hugged Zhou Bei according to the normal logic, kissed his forehead, then pressed him into his arms, and looked out the window in boredom, the voice But very gentle: "Did you miss me?"

Zhou Bei didn't speak, he hugged Su Ying tightly, tears came down when he blinked his eyes.