[Gintama] The first tenderness

It will be much later that everyone here will understand that the speed of time is relative.That is to say, the innocent and happy childhood passes extremely slowly, and once it passes, the time speeds up suddenly and is gone forever.

Everyone will understand this.Even if they had already parted ways by then and embarked on different paths, they would all understand this truth in unison.

Because, some hurdles in life are unavoidable, and there is no other way than to beat yourself to death...

After writing here, his pen tip stopped, gradually blurring the rough paper surface with ink marks.

"Hey wig, stop writing those long-winded diaries of yours, come here and help cook the pot!"

"Not a wig is Gui!"

He replied reflexively before putting away his pen.Before putting the diary back into the bag, he stared at the cover, lost in memory again in a trance.

How did everything develop into what it is now?

The day before the teacher's accident, they were still discussing what gift to give the teacher.It was spring, and the cherry blossoms in the garden were in full bloom.At that time, Ah Chu was already very familiar with them, and would often puff up her cheeks and bend her eyes to smile, just like when Gui first noticed her, she was soft and pure, and did not match the stereotyped image of "top student Sakurai Hatsue" at all. .

"We can try making dim sum with salted cherry blossoms."

Gui still remembers the sparkling amber eyes in her eyes when she made the proposal.

The next day, the teacher was escorted away by the group dressed as monks, and he is still in prison.

We must rescue the teacher - every student in the private school said so.But in the end, only six of them were drafted into the army, and the rest of the boys were beaten up by their families, and they could only watch them go away.

Of course girls don't go.Of course, because she is a girl who doesn't know swordsmanship.Even if they are good at swordsmanship, no army will recruit female soldiers; the opposite sex is a bomb when put together, and girls are not as rough as men by nature, so they can withstand beatings.

"What about logistics? Isn't logistics too? I know a little bit of first aid, and I'm a quick learner! Please, let me do it too!"

The amber-eyed girl was eager for the first time, trying to join them.

"Takasugi..."

"Silver time..."

"Gui..."

... Gui.

He could still hear his own answer—his voice, overlapping with her pleading, echoed deep in his heart.

"It's too dangerous, Ah Chu. Moreover, the recruitment of recruits is limited to gender."

"But……"

She stood where she was, looking at them blankly, and finally at him blankly.

"But, I also..."

Also, what?Do you want to contribute to your teacher?Want to go with friends too?Or is it simply that you don't want to be abandoned by your peers?

The Maori lord of the Changzhou Clan reacted quickly this time.Three days later, the envoy he sent arrived at the private school in the country, saying that he would take the third lady back.

"Miss San, you are just a girl, what's the use of insisting on staying here?"

"But I..."

At that time, Ah Chu was looking at him.She hoped that he could say something, even if the words of a country boy were as small as dust, they could not shake the will of the noble.Still, she looked at him hopefully, seeking his support.

Gui didn't say anything.Until she dimmed her eyes and left behind the messenger with her head down; until she passed him with a small bag of luggage in her arms; until she turned around for the last time in the carriage and looked at him hesitantly.

He still didn't say anything.

In every story, when something sad happens, it will rain, but this time partings come one after another, the sky in spring is still clear, and the stars are shining all over the sky at night, as if everything is peaceful as before.

He sat on the threshold looking at the stars, with a wooden knife in his hand, waiting for the next day to come, so that he and his companions could start a new life.At first he was sitting alone, then there was Yinshi on the left, and then there was Takasugi on the right.Takasugi pushed his wooden knife away, and was not polite when he sat down.

Takasugi said: "Wig, for the first time I think you are an asshole."

Yin Shi said: "Xiaoshan, you can't say that, after all we are all bastards."

"Have you really thought about it, Gui?" Yinshi seemed to never call his name correctly, the only time was then.He stretched his legs and looked up at the stars. "The envoy said that if Chu Ye-chan was to go back, she would marry someone."

He looked down at his palms.The teenager has just started to develop, and his body is gradually no longer as tender as it was when he was a child, but it is still not strong enough, and—most importantly—empty.

"Girls want to get married," he said.

And he has nothing.Even the only life left, I don't know whether it can be dragged back from the battlefield in the end.

Gintoki sighed loudly in annoyance, saying that it was really troublesome.Takasugi patted him on the shoulder and said that he should go to Sakurai after the war.

"Yes, yes, it doesn't matter if you are married. You don't need Ah Yin to teach you things like loosening the soil and prying the corner of the wall? Anyway, you like wigs/wigs..."

Yin Shi didn't say any more about the latter words.

Maybe it was because he was crying.

That was the second time he cried.The first time was when the dependent grandma passed away.He thought, he would go to her, he would go to see how she was doing and if she was happy, but... that's all.

Gui knew very well that when he rejected Ah Chu's expectations, he had already lost his qualifications.

Lost all eligibility.

"You really slow down wigs, forget it, Ah Yin, once I show mercy, I'll clear the pot for you."

The silver-haired young samurai came to sit beside him, pulled off the sweat band on his forehead to breathe, and glanced at him lazily.

"You think of Motoba-chan again?"

"It's not a wig, it's Gui." He shook his head and stuffed the diary deep into his luggage.Looking around, this abandoned temple is full of people from the fallen army, repairing themselves in the twilight.The air was filled with whispers and the lingering smell of rust.

Since the shogunate turned their back on them, the situation became more and more unfavorable to them... He watched all this worriedly, and silently calculated countermeasures in his heart.

Gintoki didn't speak anymore, and sat silently on the spot.War exhausts everyone, and it's even more depressing when it's overshadowed by defeat.

Anxiety behind optimism, depression behind excitement, silence behind laughter, and death behind life.This is war, and this is the war that fills them day and night: it brutally sweeps away the original life, occupies every thought of people, and pulls people down infinitely into the abyss.

"We will be able to save the teacher." He said suddenly, "We will be able to save this country."

Silver nodded, then nodded again.

Sometimes, knowing the process, there is no need to deliberately emphasize the ending.They were neither able to save the teacher nor their companions.After reaching the finish line, they sat on the edge of the cliff for a day and went their separate ways.

Gui thought, he would not give up.From the very beginning, he embarked on this road not only for his teacher, but also for the justice in his heart, and to shape his ideal country with his own hands.

Although he still has nothing, he still lives in precarity.

After the war, he went to find Hatsaba as promised.He really just wanted to check with his own eyes how she was doing.In his heart, Chu Ye is such a smart and gentle girl with a good background, she will definitely be able to live a good life.

He just wanted to take a sneak peek.

Dressing up in disguise and insinuating sideways; he has already used these methods very skillfully, and successfully obtained information from Mrs. Hatsueba's family.Dressed up as a monk, with one hand holding the bamboo hat on his head and the other holding a Zen stick, he sneaked into the ruined Edo Castle.

A housekeeper came out of the mansion, staring at him suspiciously and warily.

"Our young lady's maiden name is not Maori. A few years ago, the young master had a lady from the Maori family as his fiancée, but she died of illness on the way to get married, so it doesn't count."

After the teacher died, Gui Ben thought that he would no longer cry.But that night, he ran to the suburbs, looked at the dreamlike and beautiful starry sky above his head, and cried like himself back then.

He finally understood that having nothing is not a hopeless situation in life.One step further back, there is another kind.

——Without care and care, alone and wandering.