vengeance

"There will be a fireworks show on the first night of the first day of the new year, otherwise you will leave after watching it?..."

With my back to Fang Rui, I buried my head in tinkering with the bacon in my hand, and said sullenly: "No, if you don't go back on the first day of the junior high school, you will really break the rules."

"……That……"

"I've bothered you for so long." I suddenly interrupted him eagerly, "It's time to go back."

Fang Rui didn't speak anymore, the kitchen was very quiet for a while, only the rustling sound of us processing the ingredients could be heard.

After tomorrow, I will go back.Looking back on this unexpected vacation on Liudao now, it was like a dream that passed away in a flash.

I silently thought about my own concerns, finished the work at hand, and looked back, Fang Rui had gone out without knowing when.After I finished washing my hands, I took a towel aside and wiped it off, and walked out of the kitchen.

"Grandma. The meat is in the fridge."

Grandma was resting on the recliner in the backyard with her eyes closed. When she heard me coming, she slowly opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Thanks for your hard work." Grandma smiled and pointed to the chair next to her, "Sit down and bask in the sun with Grandma. You young people should spend more time in the sun, it's good for your bones and you can grow taller."

"Okay." I moved the chair and sat next to Grandma. For a while, neither of us spoke, just quietly looking at the sea not far away.

"Little Gu." Grandma suddenly turned her head and looked at me lovingly, "Do you like our place?"

"I like it." I nodded hurriedly.

"Just as long as you like it." Grandma slowly turned her head and continued to look into the distance, with a glimmer of light in her eyes.It was only then that I realized that Fang Rui's eyes looked very much like Grandma's, even when she was quietly looking at something in a daze, she looked extraordinarily energetic.

After chatting for a while, Grandma told me the story of her youth.

She said that because of the war, she was separated from her parents and brothers when she was very young, and married into Fang's family when she was only 16 years old. However, the third grandfather was a partner and fellow villager who grew up together, and they have always chatted well.When I was young, I was ignorant, and Grandpa Fang was quite proud. They often quarreled over small things. At that time, they had to take care of all kinds of housework and relationships in the whole family. Father Fang was the most favored youngest son in the family. If you don't do things well, you will be angry with your aunts.After a long time, I have no relatives in this place, and the only one who can talk to me is the third grandfather, but after all, he already has a family, and it is impossible to get too close to him, because even one who can talk I have no same-sex friends who I can talk to myself, and sometimes I feel that life is very difficult.The third grandfather knew her suffering, maybe it was because she was young and energetic, and she had to settle for it.At that time, he wanted to go out, so he asked Grandma if she wanted to go with her. Before she could speak, Grandpa Fang found out, and she was furious on the spot, so the third grandpa left, and the house turned upside down.

"I know, for so many years, the pain has passed, and the joy has passed, but he has never forgotten it. Before he left, the old man held my hand and asked me, if he hadn't appeared at that time, what would I have done? Will you go with the third child?" Grandma sighed, and closed her eyes tiredly, "I thought it was very boring at the time, and I didn't want to mention things about my youth. I said something, but I am old, I still don’t know how he treats me, it’s already that time, and he still asks me such stupid questions.”

"It's been so many years, but I've seen it for a long time. I don't care what they say about me, even Fang Rui's father is always talking about it. I can accept it, but I don't want the old man to leave with this heartache. As long as He knew that since I married into this family, no matter how hard and tired I was, no matter how much bullying I suffered, my heart was settled here, and I was satisfied. But he still didn't understand..." Ah Mammy seemed to be recalling some scene, with tears in her eyes, "It was only then that I realized so deeply that there are really no solutions to many things..."

"Little Gu." Grandma grabbed my hand, "You are leaving, Grandma is worried about you. I am worried about your temper..."

"Grandma." I shook Grandma's hand uneasily. Tears were still shining in her eyes, but she looked at me brightly.

"Grandma has never been out much in her life. I don't know what the outside world is like, but once you embark on this road, there is no turning back. No matter how hard it is, you can only bite the bullet and keep going. ..."

My heart was shocked, and I looked up at Grandma's weather-beaten face: "I..."

Grandma patted my hand: "Don't look at Grandma is old, I know it in my heart. I remember last time you pointed to a fish and asked me if that fish was deformed, but I thought it was weird or deformed. Well, in the final analysis, it seems that just because it looks different from other fish, people judge them by their own standards and add such words to them. In fact, people are like this object. Good in appearance, good in body Whether it’s good or emotional, it’s all your choice, good or bad, suitable or not, only you know in your heart.”

"Grandma, I see. I'll think about it carefully."

Grandma smiled, patted my hand, leaned back on the recliner and closed her eyes.

"Let us give a round of applause to welcome, presented by Liudao Song and Dance Troupe - "Queen of Colorful Nights"!"

"Good! Good!" The applause was like a wave, coming one after another.

For a while, all the old and young in the village seemed to be infected by the warm atmosphere of the New Year, with cheers, applause, and whistles intertwined.

A big sister with heavy makeup came out and sang lively dance music in her native dialect. The dancers surrounded her, dancing and laughing. The singing voice of the big sister seemed to come through a low-quality microphone, but unexpectedly, there was an old tape of the 80s in the last century. Looking at the lively villagers and the wine tables criss-crossing each other, I can only vaguely understand the word congratulations in the lyrics.

My dad got a little drunk, his face was flushed, he was looking at the stage with his chopsticks at the moment, it seemed that he was having a good time tonight.Fang Rui was sitting next to me, his fair profile in the dark background seemed to blend with the lights behind him, making it blurry.

Am I leaving now?I think.

I picked up the wine glass and watched him quietly watching the performance in the dark.Looking across his eyes, nose bridge, and light-colored lips, I remembered the appearance of teardrops on his eyelashes, the appearance of laughing against the wind, and the gentle appearance when he looked at me.I remembered again, he treats Meimei, Apo, Xiaoai...they are kind to those people, probably in his eyes, I am no different from the people he cherishes.But I didn't know it at the beginning, so I started to misunderstand, misunderstood your kindness to me, misunderstood the softness you inadvertently revealed, and misunderstood the emotions at the corners of your brows and eyes, which made me feel like you also Like my delusion.

I think I am not reconciled.Before I met you, I never felt like this.I have been loved since I was a child, I am polite and kind to everyone, not because I am philanthropic, but because I have been educated to be kind to others, this is my upbringing, but not my responsibility and obligations.My eyes have never rested on anyone, nor have I been so eager to monopolize someone's attention and love.

Seemingly sentient, the most ruthless, this is the most cruel place.