vengeance

"What did the third grandfather say first?"

"Ah? What did you say?"

"Just now, I looked at the sea and said ￥%*&%..."

"puff……"

"What are you laughing at!"

"No, it's kind of funny that you learned it."

"Humph."

"I didn't say anything, hey, actually...it's hard to say. Many things can't be helped. No matter how beautiful the sea is, it's not that more and more people want to go out and don't want to stay here. The outside world is always more beautiful. Wonderful. Everyone wants to live a better life." Fang Rui's tone was very flat, and he lowered his eyelids, leaving only a blurry silhouette in the afterglow of the setting sun.

The red sun lingering on the sea level finally sank into the sea, leaving only a few rays of bright deep purple and orange red around it.

After dinner in the evening, I was burping on the sofa, Fang Rui took a small mazza and sat at the door mixing pickles.Grandma said that it is best to marinate now, not too sour, and very crispy. I almost drool when I heard Grandma's description just now.When I still have memories, my dad cooked at home at that time, it was really delicious, I remember that the family conditions were not very good at that time, but I vaguely felt that my dad treated me well at that time Yes, he and I are also very close. Although he is strict, there is always a vague impression that he loves me very much.

Later, when I grew up, my dad's business also expanded.He also spends less and less time going home, but he always takes care of me when he is free.When I was in junior high school, I felt that he didn't understand anything, and he didn't know anything about my study and life, but he just liked to use his way to tell me what to do.After a long time, it seems that our father and son have become this way of getting along without talking to each other.Or rather, I don't want to talk to him.But sometimes, just sometimes, I always feel that something is missing in my heart.

Later, the family invited aunts, and they changed several times on the way. It may be that I was young and naive at that time, and I always made trouble for the aunts who came to my house to help.Later I found out that no matter how mischievous I was or how I provoked troubles, my dad would never come back.Once I lost my temper and smashed everything in the living room and dining room, swept the food all over the floor, and even knocked off the table, because my dad said that he would come back for dinner that night, but he couldn't say it later. , I drank the soup and found it a bit salty, and other dishes were not tasty.I looked at the table full of dishes, and felt that they were all fucking hard to swallow. I was so angry at first, and just complained a few words, the aunt actually pulled her face, and satirized me with a gun in her words, I Looking at the big bowl of soup in front of me, I remembered that she must have picked up all the good ribs and ate them in the kitchen just now. I took a few deep breaths, but I still couldn't suppress the increasingly raging anger, and suddenly I didn't want to bear it anymore.

At that time, the aunt bullied me a little bit and didn’t take me seriously. Sometimes I watched her pick up the good ingredients in the kitchen and leave the rest of the bad ones for me to cook. I didn't see it, but I usually spend more time on her.But she is also very powerful, and often complains to my dad, saying that I am self-willed and difficult to control.When she discovered the love letters written to me by some girls in school, I will probably remember her face for the rest of my life.

This aunt is very good at making things happen. She does one thing in front of my dad and another way behind her back. She pleases my dad. My dad thinks it's troublesome and doesn't want to change. Every time she cries to me, " Bad deeds", my dad had no choice but to add money to her.Although I was annoyed by her, but thinking about cheating my dad's money, I felt inexplicably refreshed.

This anger was the biggest tantrum I've ever had since I was born. It swept through my house like a tornado, and in exchange for it my dad slapped me hard. This was the first and only time he slapped me.I rushed out of the house and wandered in the garden of the community downstairs all night.When I went back the next day, my dad went out again.I had a serious illness. I was lying on the sofa at home with a blurred consciousness. I felt dizzy and nauseated. I didn’t have any strength in my body. I seemed to be dying. Then I crawled to the phone and called 120. .Lying on the hospital bed in those few days, I was burning faintly, but I also thought a lot.After I returned home after recovering from a serious illness, that aunt had already been fired.Although I don't know what happened, I began to understand that I should no longer have expectations and count on anyone. This serious illness has changed many things.My real father, he didn't even come to see me after I ran away from home, just me foolishly just wandering around in the garden, afraid to run too far and he couldn't find me, and it turned out he didn't care about me, I will always remember The next morning, I was cold and hungry, and when I opened the door of the house full of apprehension, I found that I was still alone.That kind of hatred, anger, sadness, and despair are intertwined, and there is a feeling of wanting to laugh, and the feeling of wanting to die.

Yes, it was always just me.I think people are really strange. The idea of ​​wanting to die accompanied me through the whole junior high school. At that time, I always felt that life was meaningless, and maybe no one would care if I died, but when I really felt that I was going to die, I felt like I was dying. Always save yourself subconsciously.Just like this time when I was seriously ill, no one would come to save me, only myself could save myself.I should be glad that this horrible old woman is not my stepmother. If my dad finds me a stepmother, my fate should be the same as this time, or worse.I started to study hard, because I wanted to learn something early so that I wouldn't have to rely on my dad.I began to get used to the fact that the house was still empty and I was the only one, because I found that anger and rebellion could not solve anything, and the only way for me to get rid of the status quo seemed to be to become stronger.

The current aunt is the most satisfying to my dad. She has been cooking at my house since high school. I will no longer have the fantasy of getting some warmth and comfort from a stranger like when I was a child, so that when this expectation fails, I will not be too disappointed.

I love the food made by this aunt very much, and I think it is really delicious in the world.Maybe she really does good things with her heart, is diligent and down-to-earth, she won't pick good ingredients, but she won't pick the best ingredients in a dish like Grandma and Aunt Ling Just let me eat part of it.

I ate the dishes made by grandma, and felt that I was really naive before, and this is the real delicacy in the world.At this time, Father Fang was washing dishes in the kitchen, Grandma was pickling vegetables, and Fang Rui was squatting on the pony, hunched over and mixing the vegetables. It looked a little funny, and I couldn't help laughing, then got up and picked up the small Maza joined Fang Rui's plan of mixing pickles.

Listening to the sound of the waves, I poured the mixed pickles into the jar, the snow-white moonlight shone on us, and the place where the sea and sky meet in the distance revealed a kind of quiet dark blue faintly.

"Hey, you are so happy." I said suddenly.

Fang Rui looked at me with some surprise, and wanted to say something, but chose to keep silent.Suddenly he frowned: "Don't use such force, just stir it lightly."

I let out an oh and lowered my head silently stirring the vegetables.Hmph, why are you so arrogant, wait for me... see if I don't take you %#￥%*& (I feel like I've fallen into some kind of strange fantasy again).

After Grandma and I sealed the jar, I wanted to clean the kitchen, but Grandma pushed me out and told me to rest.

No way, after I got out of the kitchen, I saw Fang Rui squatting in the backyard repairing a bicycle.I was about to go up to talk to him when I suddenly saw Fang Dad standing behind the door.I paused, and was about to turn my head to leave, when Dad Fang suddenly said, "A Rui, sometimes, Dad, I also want someone to accompany me..."

Fang Rui stopped the movement of his hands, turned his face to pick up the tools on the ground, and said indifferently: "I don't want to talk about this."

"You have to understand me..."

"You don't need my understanding. That's your business." Fang Rui didn't raise his head, just tinkering with the work in his hand.

Father Fang went to the bicycle and squatted down, his tone softened a bit: "A Rui, a man always needs a woman by his side, no man..."

"Then why can Uncle Da?" Fang Rui interrupted him and raised his face.It was the first time I saw such an expression on his face.

"Shengda he..."

"After Aunt Yufen left, he always went to the back mountain to see her. Uncle Da still has her tablet in his house, and he still has her photo on him. How many years has Aunt Yufen been gone, and he still..."

"A Rui, you can't take your Uncle Da..."

Fang's father was a little anxious, but at this moment, he saw me standing not far away, and the words stopped abruptly, and he stopped talking.

Fang Rui also saw me, dropped his tools, stood up and walked in, ignoring Fang's father who was squatting.I hurriedly greeted Father Fang and followed.

"Are you ok."

"Ah."

I propped up on the concrete floor and sat on the floor with my legs stretched out, with my legs hanging down, next to the steps leading to the beach.The beach, which is always populated by tourists and children playing during the day, is now deserted.There is only a silvery moon hanging high in the night sky, and there are waves coming and going.We sat side by side and watched the sea quietly for a while.

"Where are you going tomorrow?"

"do not know."

"Didn't you say that there is a place to watch the sunrise and sunset last time? How about going to watch the sunrise tomorrow?"

"It will rain tomorrow."

"How did you know?"

"Look at the clouds."

"What do you think?"

"..."

"Let's go and play with the little devils tomorrow."

"I don't want to go."

"..."

"You will come to live with me when you have a chance in the future."

"Why are you going to your house?" I could vaguely hear the impatience in his tone.I was silent.

"Sorry, I'm a little annoyed right now." Fang Rui patted me on the shoulder.I turned to meet his eyes.He quickly looked at the sea again, his beautiful eyes were empty, there was nothing, and there was no me.

He doesn't like me.

The realization grabbed my neck like a hand and it took my breath away.The waves were churning, and the lighthouse in the distance lit up.On this quiet night by the seaside, the boundless darkness surged up like a tide, surging up, surging up, gradually submerging me.