The time machine tells me [rebirth]

"Don't say thank you, just don't blame us for making our own decisions." Liu Chen sighed, feeling a little tired, took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, staring at the ceiling with a slight frown, with a little guilt and guilt in his eyes. Sadness: "It's just you...why did you suddenly change your mind?"

Liu Chen really couldn't figure it out, Rong Feijin's character flaws had lasted for more than a day or two. In the past, Jiang Muzhi was helpless but tolerant of it, and didn't show any resistance. All this really happened too suddenly.

"No..." Jiang Muzhi chuckled, walked slowly to the window, the smile disappeared from the corner of his mouth, picked up the cigarette and lighter from the table, stared at them for a few seconds, and finally put them back place.

She folded her arms and looked long into the distance. Her eyelashes were thin and long, as if covering a barren field.

Where did she suddenly change her mind? It was clear that she had spent ten years flying moths to the flames, ignoring her back, and falling until her nose was bruised and her face was swollen and bloody. Only then did she finally see the reality clearly, gave up and decided to give up.

She wanted to love her and be with her, but ten years later, that scene still made her flinch and turned away.Even if she did it all over again, she no longer had the courage to go to the flame again.People betrayed relatives, died alone, only accompanied by the smoke at her fingertips and the indelible longing for the old man. If it happened again, she really didn't know if she could survive it.

"All my decisions have been carefully considered. I am very scared, really scared, Chen, you will understand in the future, when you can't love the person you want to love..."

Jiang Muzhi paused, shook his head again, and said with a wry smile: "No, Ah Chen, it's better that you never understand... It's a beautiful thing for two people to be happy, and I don't want you to miss Ji Ningchen. "I don't want you to end up like me again in this life.

"I don't understand, Ah Mu, why are you afraid?" Liu Chen suddenly sat up and looked at Jiang Muzhi standing in front of the window suspiciously.Fear of this kind of emotion has never occurred to her before, even when she hadn't confessed her love to Ji Ningchen before, she never had the slightest fear.

What are you afraid of?She didn't understand, was she afraid that the person she loved wouldn't love her?Is it because you are afraid of disapproval from your parents?Or the guidance and eyes of the world?

"I really don't understand, wouldn't loving someone bring you courage? Wouldn't it make you risk your life for this person and walk hand in hand with you through the next long or difficult or smooth life? Why would you be afraid? After all?" Liu Chen still couldn't bear to see his friend give up on Rong Feijin, so he couldn't help persuading him.Just now she heard clearly that Ah Mu said that she still likes Rong Feijin, and she didn't want Ah Mu to regret it in the future.

Jiang Muzhi turned around, looked up at Liu Chen who was frowning with immaturity written all over his face, looked at her helplessly, and answered her sentence by sentence in his heart, yes, yes... But all of this, in that moment In the long ten years, all of them were defeated by the desolation of reality, and they were all ground to pieces.After resurrecting her life, what she brought back was nothing but this broken heart.

"Ah Chen, you should have seen a lot of stories about couples making an appointment to die in love, but in the end, one person died, but the other lived a good life, broke all their vows, got married and had children happily and safely."

"This is exactly what I'm afraid of." Jiang Muzhi walked to the table, sat down slowly, and took a sip of water. Her voice was flat and silent, as if she was just saying something ordinary: "I'm afraid that I will She gave up everything, but she clearly agreed to be together, but in the end, because of her personality, she let go of my hand and turned around to leave. I don't want to see her back, nor anyone else. "

After listening to it in a daze, Liu Chen continued, still unwilling to give up: "But how do you know if you don't try? You are obviously in love with each other..."

"It's different." Jiang Muzhi's eyes were cool: "We are different, Ji Ningchen can be desperate for you, can give up everything for you, but Rong Feijin can't, so we are destined to break up."

Jiang Muzhi laughed at himself. When Ji Ningchen graduated from senior year, she resolutely came out of the closet with her family. Her parents disagreed with her at first and kept her at home. She went on a hunger strike and committed suicide. Her parents They cried all day long, but in the end they couldn't hold back Ji Ningchen and let her out. The three of them hugged each other and cried.But what her parents didn't know was that the person who made her daughter want to be together had already broken up with her at that time.

But what about her?

I'm afraid no one can believe that she and Rong Feijin have been together for eight years, Rong Feijin has never thought of introducing her to her parents, even Rong Feijin refused to let her pick her up at the door of their company After work, she was worried that her colleagues would see her, so she went to wait for Rong Feijin at the gate of the elementary school 200 meters away from their company...

It was as if she was treated as a shady bug by that person, she could only hide in the dark, and had to endure the panic that she would lose Rong Feijin every day at the next moment.

Sometimes a thought would even flash through her mind, did Rong Feijin regard her love as an unspeakable experience for her, because she was ashamed to let others know, so she chose to hide herself.

She knew that there was a big problem with her mentality at that time, she was always suspicious, and would look at Rong Feijin with scrutiny every day. She didn't like to lose her temper hysterically, she would only look indifferently, use cold violence, and let Both were miserable.

Later, one night, she leaned against the head of the bed, watching the rising smoke, and recalled the unhappiness when they were together. Rong Feijin fell into Zhang Qiluo's arms because she had completely wiped out Rong Feijin's feelings for her.

Could it be that she was wrong?

maybe.

Later, after graduating from graduate school, Rong Feijin started blind dates crazily at her mother's request. Although Jiang Muzhi looked indifferent, as if she didn't care about anything, she would also be jealous and angry, obviously she was not a People, she obviously has a girlfriend, but why does her girlfriend leave her alone in the empty house when she is joking with other people...

A person's darkness is really hard to bear.

Once she asked cautiously, should she be introduced to her mother?Rong Feijin looked away, his lips moved, and after a long while, he could only choke out a sentence: Wait a minute, my mother seems to be not in good health recently.

Her heart was completely cold, and despair was overwhelming her face, and she suddenly felt that she might not be able to stand beside Rong Feijin openly until she died.

Jiang Muzhi gradually came back to his senses, his throat was a little dry and tight, he raised his eyes to look at the ceiling, forced back the tears in his eyes, sniffed his pantothenic nose, and said after a long while: "Because I know that I am destined to break up with her , that’s why we retreat in spite of difficulties.”

Retire in spite of difficulties, Jiang Muzhi thought, 20-year-old Rong Feijin, you are the same as me, retreat in face of difficulties.

"But..." Liu Chen looked at Jiang Muzhi worriedly, and finally threw down his armor under Jiang Muzhi's flushed but firm gaze, swallowed what she wanted to say next, and sighed dejectedly He breathed a sigh of relief: "Well, although I still don't understand, I believe that you have always been the rational Amu, and you will always only make decisions that are best for yourself."

Liu Chen fell straight on the bed, and with a thud, she raised her hand, her hair was messily scattered on the beige pillow, staring at her fair and slender fingers, and said innocently, "Although Rong Feijin is Ji Ningchen's Roommate, but to me...you are the most important." But the blush had already spread to the ears.

Jiang Muzhi looked at his mirror-like clean and dust-free eyes, with tears glistening, looked down at his own reflection in the water, blew lightly, and watched the ripples on the water surface, his face became pale as a result. Vague.

She evoked a soft smile and nodded gently: "I know."

The National Day in 2017 is connected with the Mid-Autumn Festival, so we have eight days off at once.

At this time in his previous life, Jiang Muzhi and Rong Feijin went to the Saibei Desert together. The desolate land is written with heroism and magnificence, which cannot be compared with the beauty of mountains and rivers.

They looked at the Gobi Desert under the moonlight in the quiet night. The ancient moonlight shrouded the vast wilderness. They gently held each other's hand and walked one after the other. No one spoke, but enjoyed the moment. In silence.The world was quiet and only the two of them were left. Before leaving, they made an appointment to come back to see it later. It was as beautiful as a dream.

Even now, Jiang Muzhi has never stopped doubting for a moment, that kind of unreal fantasy, like the beauty babbling in a dream, is it really not her dream?

If it was a dream, she should have woken up too.But now that this dream actually wants to make a comeback again, is she really thinking that she is an idiot who doesn't have a long memory and is willing to fall into the same pit a second time?

"Amu, do you have any arrangements for the National Day? Do you want to hang out together? Go horseback riding in the northwest you yearn for? Or go boating in the number one water town in the south of the Yangtze River?" Rong Feijin said on WeChat.

Rong Feijin's message was like sinking into the sea, without causing any waves.

Jiang Muzhi stared at their WeChat pages in silence for a long time, but didn't reply, because she knew that ignoring was more heartbreaking than refusing.

She pursed her thin lips tightly. She sat on the chair for an unknown amount of time. Her body seemed to be stiff for so long. After choosing between "clear" and "cancel" for a long time, she finally moved her fingers and cleared what happened to her in her previous life. Also reluctant to delete, their chat history.As if deleting all of this, she could start over.

In the end, he still laughed at himself, if only it were so easy.Let her go back to her previous life, news records, photos, all the gifts Rong Feijin gave her, and her diary full of Rong Feijin...she can delete them all.

But what about memory?Can you find a delete button and let her delete it too?