i don't remember her number

"Bitch."

This is the first sentence He Zange learned from his father.

He Zange didn't have a deep memory of his father when he was young.Children need sleep very much. It is common for He Zange to sleep ten hours a day, but his father seems to be unable to see his children for ten days and a half months because of his busy work.

It seems that He Wenlong doesn't miss his children or his wife at all.In He Zange's memory, except for occasions where he needs to take his wife and son out to meet others, when the three members of the He family are alone at home, He Wenlong either doesn't speak, doesn't get along with his wife and children, or calls his wife a "bitch| "Son", the son is called "wild species".

The full name of the wild species is "the wild species made by that sanctimonious thing".

He Zange was still a child, so of course he didn't know what the complicated idiom "sanctified" meant, and he didn't think there was anything unusual about these terms when he was a child.Dad has always been indifferent, and when he uttered these words, it only made people more afraid. Mom didn't have any violent reactions when she heard these words.But when He Zange curiously asked his mother what those names meant, her mother only said, "These words cannot be said to outsiders."

The young He Zange thought it was an intimate, shy, pet name between family members.

Although he didn't feel the so-called love when his father used these words to refer to himself and his mother.

However, He Zange didn't feel that his father's indifferent attitude was so abrupt, because in fact, his mother's attitude was not very enthusiastic.The mother is a very quiet person, and she rarely smiles at ordinary times. When He Zange did something wrong, she didn't put too much control on it. The education of the child seemed to be limited to some minimum requirements.

Basically, it is a free-range education model. Whether it is He Wenlong or Muyun, they don't care much about their only son.My father is away from home for a long time. It is said that he is "very busy with work", and his enthusiasm is probably devoted to work.And her mother doesn't work, her job seems to be to do housework and raise children. In her life of free-range education for He Zange, He Zange doesn't know what her mother puts her enthusiasm into.

Might still be clear.A mother who is quiet, doesn't like to laugh, and doesn't like to talk will only show more smiles when other people come to the house as guests. Among them, the one who can make the mother the most lively and lovely is the "godmother".

He Zange knew that her name was Jian Jie, and her son...was very much loved by his mother.

Both mothers liked him very much.When the godmother and her son come to visit, the mother will cook dishes that she doesn't usually cook, show a smile that she doesn't usually do, and actively educate herself in a different way than usual.The young He Zange occasionally found it very troublesome. When his godmother and son came to visit, he was disciplined more than twice as strictly as usual, which often made him at a loss.

But the godmother's son, the little brother, likes himself very much. If he is disciplined and scolded, the little brother seems to love him even more.In this way, He Zange didn't find it too troublesome.

Quite pleasant.

Such days did not last long.At least in He Zange's memory, his impression of these memories is very vague. He has long forgotten the appearance of his godmother and little brother. Those colorful past events all happened before he was sensible.Since he can remember, there has been no trace of his godmother and little brother in his life. The woman named Jian Jie and his son, the two lively and interesting people are like the white air exhaled from the nose in the winter morning, and they have not yet matured. The form dissipated miserably in the freezing cold.

He Zange began to gradually touch the essence in the shadow of the He family's radiant appearance after going to kindergarten.The parents showed the appearance of a happy family in front of others, and hid the festering family relationship in the shadows. Slowly, the home seemed to become a place where the sun could no longer shine, and the smell of decay was everywhere.

This rotten smell is rooted in He Zange's heart along with keywords such as "Wei Haihua" and "Wei Family".He Zange didn't know when he realized that the "virtuous things" his father said referred to the man named Wei Haihua, and he didn't know when he realized that Jian Jie was Wei Haihua's wife and that little brother was Wei Haihua's son Yes, in short, almost since He Zange could remember, an impression has been deeply rooted in his mind:

The Wei family, Wei Haihua, Jian Jie, and Wei Luan are the reasons for his unfortunate life when he was scolded by his father as a "bitch born of a bitch".

The young He Zange has been living in such numb misfortune.The father's disgust, the mother's indifference, the glamorous family appearance, and the decayed family interior constitute He Zange's childhood.His eyes can't see color, his tongue can't taste sweet and sour, his body can't touch warmth, and his brain can't feel love.The numb life gave He Zange a pair of deep and empty eyes, a pair of fists that don't feel pain, and a life not worth cherishing.

He has never felt that life is interesting, only pain can make him find the real sense of being alive.At that time, He Zange hated himself the most because he knew that crying was the most meaningless thing in the world, but he still couldn't control himself after being beaten and scolded by his father. saline.

A boring person will have a boring life.Just like yourself.

Only those who are interesting and know how to love will have a colorful life and bring love to others.

The first person who told He Zange that "crying is useful" was Wei Luan.

For the He family, "Wei family" is like a strange curse. It is obviously forbidden at home, and they will not even mention it publicly, but everyone is well aware of the situation of the Wei family.Even though he never saw anyone in the Wei family after that, He Zange still knew the faces, ages, current situation, etc. of all the members of their family.After all, he was still a child, and He Zange himself didn't know what kind of mentality he had towards the Wei family until he met Wei Luan himself.

When he saw Wei Luan for the first time outside the game hall that time, He Zange felt like he was suddenly ignited by something.In his previous life, the strong numbness made him unable to feel that he had such a strong disgust for his unfortunate life, and it was Wei Luan who made him feel it.

It was Wei Luan who made him explode.

He felt that he had never fought so fiercely before. Although He Zange had been terrified in fighting since before, but that time He Zange seemed to be suddenly stimulated to the most violent side of his character, that kind of extreme ruthlessness, like It's like making up your mind to take the other party's life.

My life has been like this, and now I want you to pay me your life too.

At that time, He Zange didn't know what Secondary School was, but when he grew up, he realized that he really was in Secondary School.Fortunately, children don't have that much strength, and they want to destroy the world, but in fact they can only leave a little bit of big wounds on their opponents.Clearly venting such intense emotions, but not getting the desired result, for the first time in his life, He Zange felt that he was so useless and powerless.

He returned home in a dirty and tattered mess, and unexpectedly ran into his father whom he hadn't seen for a long time.

He Wenlong didn't go home once for ten days and a half a month. When he got home, he saw his "son" rolling outside like a rag.He always had a good face. He dragged the child into the room, picked up a golf club and beat him up until the club was broken. He Wenlong threw away the broken club before he finished his anger. , rushed over and slapped Mu Yun who was sitting in the restaurant like nothing to do with him, and fell to the ground with a backhand.

"I'm working hard to make money outside, and you raised such a garbage-like bastard?!"

That was the first time he saw his father beating his mother. The mother who was beaten to the ground covered her face and looked up at her father, which was deeply imprinted in He Zange's mind.

After growing up, when he looked at his reflection in the mirror, He Zange realized that he and his mother really resembled each other.The deep and empty eyes of my mother have been inherited from me since I was so young.

Unprecedented great sorrow and despair suddenly swept over the numb child. He dragged his bruised body and ran out of the house like a rag.

Just die outside.

Then he met Wei Luan.The kid who ran to buy this and that in a panic because of his wounds, his tears, and fumbled to fix his own wounds.

At that moment, He Zange suddenly remembered something from a long time ago, which he shouldn't have remembered, something from when he was a child.The baby-sounding little brother looked at him with bright eyes, and he still couldn't speak well, babbling, I don't know what he said, the little brother smiled happily and babbled at himself Kiss on the face.

warm, soft, fragrant

Is the taste of happiness

It turned out that he had also experienced

What does the book say? "I once embraced the sunshine, how can I live in the darkness of the abyss!"

He had seen Wei Luan before, but he never saw anyone else in his eyes.

***

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In the summer vacation during the second year of high school and the third year of high school, my mother became pregnant again.

They have moved to this city for many years, and He Zange has long since changed his mind to call this man with a slightly growing beer belly Papa.Fan Tianyou is a man with a good temper. Although he often seems a bit pedantic, and his personality is too stubborn to turn around. He is also two years younger than Mu Yun, and his appearance is not as handsome as Wei Haihua and He Wenlong, but he treats Mu Yun very well. Well, I didn't dislike her as a second marriage with a child, and she was very kind to He Zange.

Of course, it is still far from "seeing it as one's own work".I don't know why, men always want to leave their blood with women, it seems that only in this way can they defend their ownership of this woman.

So after Mu Yun finally decided to open everything to Fan Tianyou and spend the rest of her life with him, the first thing she did was to conceive a child of Fan Tianyou.This made Fan Tianyou ecstatic.

How well women understand men.

How well a mother knows her son.

Mu Yun knew from the very beginning that neither the He family nor the Fan family, nor the surname He nor Fan, was the right place for her son.

Her son dismissed it, too.

So she never asked He Zange about pregnancy and childbirth. Of course, He Zange really didn't care. At the age of 17, he grew up in a bumpy and weird family environment. His excessive precocity has made him fully understand his growth environment and the fact that his existence is not trusted by his biological father, nor loved by his biological mother.Mu Yun's indifferent attitude towards him stems from the hatred of his father and the resentment of her own inability to control her own life. When she was young, Mu Yun was gentle but also proud. When she understood that her life would be dominated by a newborn Unable to control herself, the young woman began to hate.

I don't know if he has become numb to this, but He Zange doesn't hate his dead father very much, and his mother who doesn't love him.The young He Zange knows what pride is, and also understands the price of pride. His hatred was born too early and too strong, as if his taste buds have been soaked in Coptis chinensis for a long time, and he can no longer tell what is bitter.

It is because of this that he is so crazy about the only sweetness.

At this time, He Zange didn't have any extra energy to devote to his pregnant mother. He put all his thoughts on the college entrance examination, and he already had a clear goal.He knows where Wei Luan is, and also knows what kind of person Wei Luan is now. That kind of silent madness and persistence seems to have no beginning and no end. He Zange just needs to keep running on this crazy road.

At the end of the college entrance examination, Fan Tianyou and Muyun's child was born. It was also a boy and weighed nearly seven catties when it was born. Fortunately, Muyun had a caesarean section, otherwise he would have suffered a lot.Even so, when He Zange's college entrance examination ended, Muyun hadn't recovered from the labor, and his face was very haggard.

After seeing He Zange's estimated scores and completed volunteers, Mu Yun's complexion seemed to fade away, revealing a gleam of light, but the light seemed rather elusive.

She looked at her eldest son with a pair of eyes with yellowish whites and exceptionally black pupils, and opened and closed her moist red lips.

"You are not afraid, are you brothers?" She asked softly.

"He Wenlong has scolded me for being a bitch for so many years, but you have never doubted whether you are a bastard born of a bitch?"

With that elusive light, Mu Yun asked He Zange like this.The perennial gloomy expression of the underage boy was finally broken by shock. He was shocked that Muyun had already known his almost morbid feelings for Wei Luan, but he was not shocked by the question Muyun asked.

After relieving the shock for a while, He Zange took a long breath, then took off his glasses, and slowly wiped them with the hem of his clothes.

"It's not whether I have doubted it, but it's useless to doubt it."

"Because I don't care."

He put on his glasses again, and calmly looked at his mother's still pale face.

"Even if he and I are really brothers, so what? Men and men can't have children. If that's the case, then I love him as much as I love him. It's as simple as that."

The mother and son, who looked alike, looked at each other silently, and didn't say a word for a long time, until a smile of "as expected" appeared on the mother's pale face.

"People say that a son is like a mother, and they are right...you are really like me."

"So many people say that I have a heart of stone. When my husband died, I patted my ass and left without shedding a single tear. Heh..." Mu Yun shrugged and smiled without a smile.

"Yeah, I am indeed hard-hearted, and you are the same as me." She looked at her son and showed him a bright smile.

"Our hearts, like stone and steel, will never change."

***

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This is almost He Zange's last memory of Muyun.Along with the admission notice from the University of Finance and Economics, it was handed over to He Zange, as well as the book and keys of the house next to the University of Finance and Economics.Mu Yun seems to be quite sure that He Zange will be admitted to the University of Finance and Economics, and that he will need this house. Even if he doesn't need it, she will hand over the house and some of the property left to He Zange, because He Zange was already her only concern in the country.

On the same day that He Zange started school, Mu Yun, Fan Tianyou and their newborn child left China and settled in Australia.

The author has something to say:

Hi everyone, I've had a very miserable week.

Dysmenorrhea, gastroenteritis, vomiting, drug allergies, hives, fever, I went through a round this week.When the update was stopped on Sunday, I felt that my physical condition was not very good, and I wanted to take a two-day rest, but I didn't expect this "bad" to be so bad.

The fever just went down yesterday, so I'm back again...  

Clumsy Luan and Ge'er bless me, I will definitely give you HE, bless me, okay?mwah!