Pretend to die

"It's alright."

Fu Bingying put his arms around the back of his neck and pushed him back to his chest. Su Zheng exhaled heavily, went to the table, and said, "Test my vocabulary."

Reporting words does not require a very quiet environment.

But the sharp laughter outside the room was still distracting. Several pencil leads of Su Zheng were broken, and the homework paper was scratched.

"next."

Fu Bingying glanced at him, feeling a little unbearable.

"Next." Su Zheng repeated.

"permanent."

perm-

"Ha ha ha ha……"

Grandma Su Zheng's loud laughter exploded outside the door like fireworks, and Su Zheng's pencil lead broke again with all his strength.

This time, he slapped the pencil on the table, stood up suddenly, rushed to the door, and said angrily, "You guys, please keep your voice down!"

"Ouch," Lao Xia's face was flushed with laughter just now, and now he couldn't hold it back, so he had to pull Suzheng's grandma's clothes, and whispered: "Stop making trouble, the child is already angry."

Grandma Suzheng smiled pretentiously, and said without a trace of guilt: "The little hairy boy is still imitating other people's swearing, go in and study, go."

Su Zheng hated it very much.

His thin chest rose and fell like a blower.

Why?Why?Why would you do this in front of my face?Why should I see it?His 15-year-old nightmare happened again, and now he is 27 years old. He has experienced many disgusting things in society, but it is still difficult to accept it all.

Doesn't she know how much disaster it will bring me?

Doesn't she know that teachers and classmates have been talking about me, they say I am an illegitimate child, my mother is a prostitute, my grandma is an old prostitute...

She knew it, she knew it when my mother left.

Su Zheng stared at the two of them, until the expression on grandma's face completely receded, until Lao Xia's face turned from red to blue.

Grandma put down her chopsticks, and said in a calm tone, "Children don't care about adults' affairs." This was a bit of a guilty conscience, and to Su Zheng, it was like smashing his heart into pieces with a rock.

He closed the door, quickly packed his things, and was about to go out with his bag. Fu Bingying grabbed his wrist and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Go out and live." Su Zheng shook off his hand.

"How do you go out and live alone?"

"As long as you can bear it, you can live alone anywhere."

After Su Zheng finished speaking, he pulled Fu Bingying's hand away and rushed out. The sound of the anti-theft door slamming against the wall was deafening. Lao Xia shook his hand and said guiltily: "I'd better go, you go after the child."

"Why are you leaving? You will live here in the future, he will come back by himself, besides, he has nowhere to go."

Fu Bingying chased to the door to change his shoes, feeling aggrieved inevitably, and asked Grandma Su Zheng: "Aren't you afraid that it will be dangerous for him to go out by himself?"

Grandma Suzheng lowered her eyes, twirling a toothpick in her hand, and murmured: "In a society ruled by law, there is nothing dangerous."

Fu Bingying shook his head, he really couldn't understand.Any ordinary old lady would be very anxious when she knew that her grandson ran out of control at night, and if she was a little spoiled, she wanted to call the police immediately.Even in a family like Fu Bingying's estranged relationship, once he was lost during a school spring outing, his mother was so scared that he came back from other places to make sure he was safe.

How can a normal person say such a thing.

He rushed out to look for Su Zheng. At night, he didn't even eat dinner, and he didn't know if he had any money with him. Now that there are so many kidnappings and there are many perverts in the park, where can he go as a middle school student.

The stairs were too narrow and the corridor was too dark. Su Zheng disappeared in two or three steps, but Fu Bingying lost his way in the community because of his anxiety. how long to walk.

I was in a hurry to go out, and I didn't bring my mobile phone, so I had to go back to get my things.

This time, it was Grandma Su Zheng who came to open the door.

Lao Xia was no longer in the room, and Grandma Su Zheng's expression was not good, as if she had been hit. She looked behind Fu Bingying, but she didn't see Su Zheng. She sighed and said, "Come back and get something."

Without changing her shoes, Fu Bingying stood at the door and asked her, "Where does Su Zheng like to go? Where is his school? Are there any Internet cafes around here?"

Grandma Suzheng was silent for a while, and said, "He is studying in 47 Middle School."

Needless to say, she couldn't tell, she didn't know Su Zheng well.

When Su Zheng was four years old, his mother, his only daughter, abandoned the child. The landlord notified the police and found her through household registration. She took Su Zheng back here and began to raise the little boy.She is terrible at raising children. She raised a daughter and became a mistress. She had several abortions at a young age. She never repented. After giving birth, she was still full of thoughts of "I love you" and "You don't love me", and finally left the child and ran away. , is an irresponsible adult.

She didn't know if she could raise this child well.

"I'll go find him." Fu Bingying sighed, "Please pass me my things, it's in Suzheng's room."

Grandma Su Zheng didn't move.The light in the living room was not turned on, only an incandescent lamp in the dining room was turned on. She was facing the light behind her and couldn't see her expression clearly. An old man asked a question like a girl: "Mr. Fu, are you a knowledgeable person?" Molecule, tell me, what's wrong with me?"

"I'm old too, what's wrong with finding a partner? Zheng Zheng why lose his temper?"

"I've raised him for so many years, why can't he understand me?"

"I'm going to find a wife for myself after all. What's wrong with Lao Xia? Just doing that, how shameless I am. Teacher Xiao Fu, do you think the elderly should devote their entire lives to their children?"

"Why do the elders always sacrifice for the younger generation? Zhengzheng's mother ran away with someone, and I raised Zhengzheng. I was kind, but now no one thinks I am kind, and everyone thinks this is what I should do."

"It's not my fault."

Things in the world are so complicated, and many things cannot be summed up simply by right and wrong.Fu Bingying finds it difficult to speak. If you insist, everyone in the world has the right to freely pursue love, but everyone in this world is not an island. Behind everyone is inextricably linked with many other people. Constituting a society, many times, your rights will hurt others, which does not mean that you lose your rights, it means that you lose the feelings of the hurt people towards you.

"You are not wrong, and neither is Su Zheng." Fu Bingying said: "The key is, to you, whether Lao Xia's feelings are more important or Su Zheng's feelings are more important."

Grandma Suzheng frowned, remained silent for a while, and then suddenly asked: "Of course Lao Xia is important, can Zhengzheng be with me forever?"

Lovers.

Fu Bingying had nothing to say, he quickly changed his shoes, went into the house to get things by himself, and before leaving, he still told: "If I haven't found it within 24 hours, you can call the police."

It was already past nine o'clock.

It was suffocatingly dark, and the air was stuffy, like it was about to rain.

There are all kinds of people in the old city, good and evil are mixed, and there are also people who open massage parlors at the root of the imperial city.Fu Bingying asked all the way. He used to be very noble. Although he was very polite to the waiters and drivers around him, he was not happy to talk to these people. This was the first time he took the initiative to speak to so many "civilians".

Some people have accents, some people don't match their words, some people just refuse indifferently, and some people ask him if he wants to wash his hair.

For the first time, he felt that the world was really big, and it was really difficult to find someone. A boiling sense of powerlessness surged in his heart, making his eyes sour.

Where is Su Zheng?

Where did he go?

If he, no, no if, this is Beijing, and the monitoring equipment is perfect, even if something happens, he will definitely be recovered.

Fu Bingying followed the navigation to No. 47. There was no one there, and he went to the nearby small Internet cafes one by one. Even his clothes smelled of inferior cigarettes. There were no stars in the sky, just like his mood.

should i go homeDoes this make sense?

He should go back, so what if he finds it, kill him, but his footsteps just can't move, obviously there is a road not far away, taxis pass by one by one, and they stir up his emotions, but his footsteps are just walking. not open.

At 10:30, Grandma Su Zheng called him and said that Su Zheng had gone home.

"He wasn't hurt?"

"No, the brat is hungry, and he came back by himself because he had no money to buy food."

Grandma Su Zheng's voice became much looser.

Fu Bingying was standing near the police station. He had just gone in and asked about it. The police said they would not file a case within 24 hours. Fu Bingying asked many times. Is it not possible under special circumstances?The police insisted, and finally invited him out.Standing next to him was a couple who were arguing. They were struggling to go in and report domestic violence. It turned out that the woman was begging not to do it again, and the man was determined to arrest her.

"That's good." Fu Bingying hung up the phone and watched the couple quarreling for a while. He felt that the problems in the world can be big or small. Once the things that have been compromised have reached the point of being completely lost, they seem to be indifferent.

Not eating spicy food is better than getting a divorce; getting a penny is better than not getting a penny.

He had forgotten that that 15-year-old body contained a 27-year-old soul. The 27-year-old Su Zheng knew what compromise and self-love were, and he was really worrying about it.

go home.

At noon the next day, he received another call from Grandma Su Zheng, this time the content of the call was different.

"Mr. Fu, can I invite you to come and take care of Zhengzheng for a few days?"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, Lao Xia and I signed up for a tour group to go to Weihai for a few days."

"Isn't Su Zheng about to take the high school entrance examination?"

"Yeah, so I want to ask you to take care of him for two days, how about two hundred a day? It's a total of three days, just order takeaway for dinner."

In the afternoon, when Su Zheng came home, he found Fu Bingying cooking in the kitchen. He hadn't seen this scene in 800 years, and thought he was hallucinating.

"Where's my grandma?"

"Going for a trip."

"Grass, I really ran away with that smelly old man."

With his back on his back, Fu Bingying frowned.He doesn't know how to use this kind of gas stove yet, and he doesn't control the heat very well. After frying a few dishes to avoid Su Zheng's favorite food, they are still a bit mushy.

But Su Zheng wasn't picky. If they were together before, he would definitely let him order takeaway. He probably knew that this 'Fu Bingying' was not familiar with him yet, so he didn't act like a baby.

"Is it delicious?" Fu Bingying asked him intentionally.

"It's delicious." Su Zheng flattered him professionally.

"Then you eat more." Fu Bingying picked up a large piece of burnt taro for him.

Not to be outdone, Su Zheng picked up a large piece of burnt duck meat for Fu Bingying, and said, "Teacher, eat more too, thanks for your hard work."

When taking a shower, Su Zheng repeatedly checked that he hadn't taken anything away, especially his underwear. He found it and put it on the bed at first, but he took everything before entering the bathroom and forgot his underwear.

He comforted himself in the bathroom, at least it was an opportunity to seduce Fu Bingying, if he did something ulterior to the underage me, he would be caught by the pigtails.

Su Zheng put on a T-shirt, wrapped his lower body in a bath towel, and sneaked into the bedroom. Unexpectedly, Fu Bingying was sitting beside his underwear waiting for him.

"Forgot your panties?"

"Hmm." Su Zheng nodded awkwardly.

"Do you want me to carry it on my back?"

"Ah."

"Don't forget it."

"Back it!"

Fu Bingying turned around expressionlessly, and Su Zheng quickly grabbed his underwear and put it on his body. Unexpectedly, Fu Bingying turned around suddenly, and almost saw his immature little chirp.

mean!

"Fuck, what are you doing!"

Fu Bingying narrowed his eyes and said in a bad tone, "I should ask you, what happened to your leg?" He was referring to the bruises on Su Zheng's leg.

"Nothing? I hit the ball." Su Zheng wrapped the towel around him again.

"Playing football?" Fu Bingying sneered, pulled off the towel, pulled the person in front of him, and stuck him in the vagina.

"What do you want to do? Play hooligans!"

"What do you want?" Fu Bingying's tone didn't look like he was joking at all: "You still hide it when you're injured? What's going on? Don't lie to me, I can see it."

"It's okay, the class next door couldn't kick us, so they fought with us."

"I told you, don't lie."

"That's the truth."

If Su Zheng didn't want to say anything, then Fu Bingying would never be able to pry something out of his mouth no matter what.

"..." Fu Bingying looked at him for a while, then compromised strategically: "Is there any medicine at home?"

Su Zheng found a bottle of safflower oil, which was specially used to treat bruises, but Fu Bingying had never used it. He was rarely injured when he was a child, and he always used spray when he touched it.

He checked the usage of safflower oil on the Internet, and knew that he had to rub it, which made him feel strange.

"Oh shit, take it easy, my flesh hurts from you."

"I didn't grab you."

"Not yet!" Su Zheng slapped his hand away, and there were five crimson fingerprints on his skin. Su Zheng scolded him with reason: "What is this! This is the evidence of your violence."

"On the Internet, it is said that some force is needed to remove the bruise."

"Your strength directly covers the bruises on top of the bruises... hey!"

"What's it called again?"

Su Zheng stared at him, blushing a little, what did he say?Teacher, did you just touch my chirp with your hand?

"Don't, don't touch this area, change to another place."

Fu Bingying glanced at him, as if he understood something, the palm really moved down obediently.He was indeed interested in the young Su Zheng, but when it comes to sex, the plump chest muscles of the adult Su Zheng were more attractive.

After taking the medicine, the two memorized words in the cool smell of safflower oil, and then went to bed together. The bed was too small, so the two slept with their backs to their sides. Who knew that when they woke up early in the morning, they turned into hugging each other face to face.

Su Zheng's legs were wrapped around Fu Bingying's waist.

It's really not suitable for children.

Early the next morning, Fu Bingying made him an exaggerated breakfast, fed him well, and sent him to school.

"No, where are the middle school students sent to school?"

Fu Bingying thought about it too, helped him pack his schoolbag, and then sent him out. When he was washing the dishes, he suddenly saw the white paper of English words on the table, sighed in his heart, and decided to send it to Su Zheng quickly.

Since I went there that night, I followed my memory to find it this time,

After eight o'clock, the middle school had already started the morning self-study. Fu Bingying found Su Zheng's class after registering at the porter, but Su Zheng was not there, and the teacher was surprised by his appearance.

"Didn't Su Zheng ask for leave today?"

Fu Bingying frowned, and said, "He probably played truant, I'll contact him right now."

Su Zhengshi was found in Dekes near the school. The person who found him was not Fu Bingying, but a gangster nearby. He was a senior in No. 47 High School, who was expelled from the school for fighting.

"Su Zheng, long time no see, why are you avoiding us?"

No matter how capable the 27-year-old Su Zheng is, he can't show it in his 15-year-old body.

"No."

"No?" The gangster in the lead hooked his neck with a smile and said, "Then do you know what day it is today? Did you get what I wanted you to get? What day is the delivery?"

That thing is a kind of candy, colorful, and looks similar to MS beans. It contains some hallucinogenic ingredients, the concentration is not high, and it won't kill people, but it is enough to make some middle school students who can't afford it feel fashionable.Strictly speaking, this thing is a stimulant. According to Chinese law, selling this kind of thing is a violation of the criminal law and should be sentenced.

Selling candy to ignorant teenagers, the profit is huge, and the risk is also great. These gangsters found Su Zheng, who was despised in school, and asked him to handle the transaction. They sold the money and gave him a little hard work fee .

Su Zheng didn't want to do these things, he wanted to get into a good high school and then a good university, so that he could escape from his current life as soon as possible.But he had no choice, this school, or rather, no one in the entire neighborhood really cared about him.

Everyone will talk about him, laugh at him, gossip about his notorious mother, and ridicule him as an old and disrespectful grandma. At the same time, they will warn their children to stay away from him and not play with bad children.

What kind of bad boy is he, at best the child of a bad man.

He has done nothing wrong. He has been bullied by other children since he was a child. When he was a teenager, because he was not tall enough, he was forced by the gangsters to do some illegal things. Who can he tell?

With his grandma who just wants to find a man all day long?Or the class teacher who didn't even take him seriously?

He must be admitted to high school. Junior high school is compulsory education, and he must choose a school in the area where his household registration corresponds. High school is different. He can choose a school across districts, and go to a place far away from here. If he studies hard, he will always have the opportunity to change his life. .

The little gangster punched him on the waist, and said fiercely: "I'm asking you, did you get it?"

Su Zheng was pressed by him, his face was pressed against the table, and he nodded with difficulty: "I got it."

"What about things?"

"Yes, at school."

"Are you putting him in school?"

"No one, will check, desk..."

"Huh, you have some brains." The little gangster pulled him up and escorted him out: "Go to school to get it, it will only delay my work."

It was under such circumstances that Fu Bingying met Su Zheng.

Su Zheng saw him, but pretended not to see him. Fu Bingying instantly realized that something was wrong.

In Fu Bingying's 21-year-old life, because his father was a diplomat and his mother was a banker, the whole world showed him a kind side.Of course, he reads books and news, and knows many dark sides of this society, and also knows that corruption exists in the administrative system and law enforcement system, but these are too far away from his life.

If he encounters injustice in school, he will go to the principal, and if there is a dispute in the society, he will call the police. Even if a hair appears in the food he bought, he will find the industry and commerce from the consumer association all the way to protect his rights. Never let him down, give him fair and just results every time.

But this time, he fully understood the meaning of 'bottom'.

He called the police, but someone arrived before the police and took Su Zheng away.Later he found out that the source organization for selling this candy was someone inside the public security. They thought it was Su Zheng who planned to call the police on purpose, so they took him away unceremoniously and gave him a truant kid who should Some causes of death.

drowning.

What is the bottom layer? The bottom layer is a place where the light of the law does not shine, a place where there is no hope and no future. Not worth it, but he climbed up.

Fu Bingying didn't know what he had experienced along the way, but he finally understood how little chance it was to meet Su Zheng decently in college that day.

He found a diary in Su Zheng's desk that he didn't insist on writing. In the last entry, Su Zheng wrote: I must escape from here, be a normal person, have a normal lover, and have a bright future. Career, if I lose to Gene in the end, then I would rather never like anyone, than be a lunatic, lose my mind for love, and destroy everything around me.