he heard the voice of the dead

Out of lonely death and suicide.

"Saiki-kun.You and Teacher Shencheng are childhood friends, do you know the phone number of his parents? 』

What Saiki thought of was the brochure of Hijima Certified Public Accountants.A search on the Internet will definitely find the home page.

"...No, I don't know. I'll go to Shencheng's house after get off work today to have a look. If I can't find it, I'll ask my parents. They might know something. Then we'll see if we should call the police."

"Yeah?Then I will trouble you.』

Hanging up the phone and telling Hirai Hyakudensha that he came to work, Hirai smiled happily.

"Hiring new people increases the work, which is really rare. Or does it mean that Tomi has less work, and we have more work!"

Compared to Hirai's joy, Saiki's mind is full of miracles.

After a long absence, she walked to Shencheng's two-story apartment.When I got off the train at Dixie Station, there was a light rain, but when I arrived at Shencheng's apartment, it turned into a downpour.

Looking out of the window, the room was dark with no lights on.No answer when the doorbell was pressed.Saiki fumbled in his shoulder bag in a panic.

He took the spare key with him.When I went back, I completely forgot to return the key.I didn't know what to do when I found it, so I kept it in my bag.

After finding the key and opening the door, Saiki entered Shencheng's apartment.

"God into...?"

No sound.

I don't know if it was because the door was closed all the time, and there was a damp smell in the room.Saiki sniffed his nose.I thought that if something happened to that man, there should be a smell.

He glanced at the bedroom next to the entrance.no one.Then I went to the bathroom and toilet to look for it, but there was still nothing.

The kitchen was also quiet and dark.Turning on the light, what greeted the eyes was a miserable scene.There were several leftover instant noodle cups piled up on the counter, emitting a stench.A charred pan.All the kitchen utensils that were not much were taken out, and the dirty ones were not washed.

Newspapers, receipts, crumpled up tissues, delivery boxes were all piled up on the floor, along with plastic bottles, wine bottles and empty beer cans.

When he came back from Tiantian's house before, Shencheng got drunk and fell on the table...

Neither the kitchen nor the living room has seen magic.All that remains is the studio on the second floor.

With a bad premonition, Saimu couldn't stay any longer.

"Hey, Kamiseki! Answer me if you are here!"

yelled half angrily, but there was no response.Saiki ran up to the second floor.

There is a strange atmosphere in the dark studio.Saiki turned on the light in the studio.It's surprisingly clean and tidy here.

However, the scene in front of him made him gasp.

The windows of the studio are strange.The bed curtain was peeled off from the window, and a slender man lay underneath.

Saiki ran over in panic.

"God"

Pick up the man.A black tie was wrapped around his neck.It's a black tie worn at a funeral.It was an unlucky symbol, and Saimu took it down.There were red marks on the neck.

"Hey, stop kidding, hey!"

Shaking him roughly, Shencheng slightly opened his eyes.This made Zaimu heaved a sigh of relief from the bottom of his heart.Saiki cursed

"What are you doing!"

"...Death, I can't"

Shen Cheng murmured.The hoarseness sounds painful.He was told to die when he went out from here—

"What are you talking about, don't be like this.... I was wrong. I heard it, but you didn't expose it. I'm sorry"

Shencheng opened his eyes wide.

"...I didn't expect you to come to apologize..."

Then he groaned and went on.

"Actually, I am the one who should apologize. I can only apologize when I die. However, when I was really about to die, I was scared and ran away. When I strangled my neck and my hands were numb, I Struggling with fear"

Saiki put his hand on the shoulder of the confused man.There is a strong smell of alcohol, must have drunk a lot of alcohol.Don't take the words of a drunk seriously.

"I know, I know. Drink some water and go to bed. I'll forget about it tomorrow—"

Appropriately comforted a few words, but it had the opposite effect.Shencheng pulled Zhaimu's hand, and Zhaimu's body tilted and fell into Shencheng's arms.

was hugged hard.No, it was held tightly.

I've been hugged like this several times before.But unlike before, this time there is no sexual connotation.

"Hey……"

The man spoke, his voice was crying.

"I'm so scared, Ming. I'm so afraid of being alone all the time. What I'm doing is breaking me down. Only death can make it up, but I'm so scared that I can't. I don't know what to do." "

Saiki sighed.This is how I've always felt.

"If you are afraid of death, you live on. If you can't make up for it, you don't have to do it."

It may sound arrogant to others.But he can only think so.

Shen Cheng seemed taken aback.The strength of grabbing himself also eased, and he looked up at Saimu's face.Then he shook his head feebly, Shencheng left Saimu's body and stood up unsteadily.

The man staggered to the table where the painting materials were placed.Pick up a small silver machine on the table.The man presses the button.

There was a rewinding sound.It should be a tape recorder.After rewinding everything, he pressed the button again.Hearing the sound of tape playing.

"beep"

After the sharp sound, there was a rustling noise.Then, a human voice sounded.

"Ah, that, Xiaojing.Uh, uh..."

"August, Twenty, Eighth, No.Afternoon, nine o'clock, five, minute"

It's a phone message.Saiki swallowed his saliva.The date broadcast on the phone message is, that day.Then, I heard the nostalgic Tomo's voice.

"beep"

"I'm a kid...uh, then, goodbye..."

"August, Twenty, Eighth, No.Afternoon, nine o'clock, seven, minute"

want to stop.I've always wanted to hear Peng's voice, but not this one.But it continued to play cruelly.

"beep"

"Xiao Jing, that, go tell Xiao Ming today, I'm sorry, he will definitely forgive.Then, the three of us will paint together again, Xiaojing.So, I went to pick up Xiao Ming.Then, I'm leaving"

"August, Twenty, Eighth, No.Afternoon, nine o'clock, ten, eight, minute"

Don't go, friend.Don't pick me up!

I wanted to yell, but my throat was blocked.On that rainy day, she really wanted to pick herself up.Knowing this, Saiki felt as if he had been beaten.

Saiki shook his head stiffly.The voice of a long-lost friend.However, if she could be stopped at that time on the tape...

"……friend……"

Saiki murmured his sister's name blankly, and Shencheng lowered his head.The man's shoulders trembled slightly.Then, there was a trembling sound.

"At that time, it would be nice if I went home. It would be nice to stay with friends... At that time, when I... When friends died, I slept with a woman."

Hearing the man's confession, Saiki, who was staring at the tape, raised his head.Slowly turn to Shencheng.

So, I met Shencheng at the convenience store that day.Shencheng is not the only person encountered.The housewife in her twenties who went to Yasushi's studio was also there.Is it that person?But that kind of thing doesn't matter.

Zhaimu was silent, Shencheng continued.

"It would be fine if it wasn't Tomo who died, but me. From before, I was alone. Not needed by anyone, it would be fine if I replaced Tomo."

The murmur sounded like weeping.The emotion that has nowhere to vent is stuck in his chest, and Saimu is speechless.I have said so myself.They have the same idea.

Saimu stood up weakly, sat on the ground and hugged his head.Sadness welled up in my heart.Unable to organize emotions.I can't turn my head around.

"I really want to die..."

He heard his unaffected voice.Pfft, Saiki couldn't help laughing.The depths of his belly were gradually dominated by a smile.Hahaha let out hysterical laughter.

How can a person die so easily.After that summer, I tried many times myself.But in the end, the flesh rejects death.The head is afraid of death and always retreats at the last moment.You can't die with a sense of obligation that says "I must die."I can't die, I just want to live.

Hearing Zhaimu's laugh, Shencheng glared at Zhaimu angrily.

"why are you laughing"

"Otherwise what do you want me to do"

He laughed so much that saliva dripped from the corners of his mouth.Saiki wiped his mouth with his hand and looked at the man.

"At the end of the day, what do you want me to do? You want me to beg hard, please don't say that, you can't die, so you're satisfied.... You obviously made a mistake, but you hid it from me, Come and blame me. In the end, aren’t you also my kind?”

Shencheng's shoulders trembled violently.

"That's right, I'm your kind, and I'm also a liar. I lied to you about Peng's "You are a murderer". I can't hear the voice of the dead. But, I had a dream. I dreamed that Peng said I'm "a murderer""

"My friend didn't say that"

Obviously I caused her death, but she apologized to me.Thinking about it carefully, it was much easier to be blamed by her.

"I went back to my hometown some time ago, and I drew with my friend in the studio. I put two chairs and an easel together. Then, she wrote "I'm sorry" in the sketchbook and disappeared. What appeared in your dream is not real. friend"

The man seemed to be about to cry at this moment.

"...I lied because I couldn't think of any other way to keep you. As long as you seize your weakness and threaten you, then no matter how much you hate me, you will still stay by my side. Because no matter what you do , Xiao Ming won’t even like me.”

After listening to Shencheng's words, Zhaimu let out a distorted smile.

The feelings for this man cannot be expressed clearly in a few words.

Hate, hate, like, love.If you like this man's childish and single-mindedness, you must also love him.To hate this man's talent, yet be helplessly attracted to him, was almost adoration.

Shencheng showed a crying smile.

"I have nothing"

The man's words made Saiki very angry.He sneered and said harshly

"Don't you know how to draw?"

Known as a genius, he is popular no matter where he is.Of course there will be trolls, but his fans are still very large.

Everyone around him is obsessed with this man.including myself.

To cover up his jealousy, he looks at Shencheng's phthalocyanine blue paintings every night.Seeing God.yearn for.

It was a surprise to see Shencheng's paintings in Jingfu's studio.Hearing Yasuo say "throw it away", Saimu thought it was great.I want to take Shencheng's painting as my own.I feel that among all the viewers, only I can understand this painting.

After finishing the call with Miyawaki, the man's editor, Matsumoto, also called him an hour later.Just to tell him everything is up to you.

That's editing.Everyday is a busy day.But desperately calling everyone because of a lost painter.Because there is nothing else he can do.

"What nonsense are you talking about, there are so many people supporting you"

Shencheng shook his head.

"My painting is nothing special. I did it because I only know how to paint. I have nothing else to rely on. . . . I can't get any of what I really want."

After Shencheng finished speaking, he looked at Zhaimu.Saiki opened his mouth to say something, but in the end he didn't say anything.

Only popular people would say such arrogant words, ordinary people don't even have talent——Just as he was about to say this, Saiki realized.

This man lost his mother's love in his childhood.Even his only relative, his father, committed suicide when he was in high school, abandoning this man.

Isn't he missing the two most important things in life?Although he also lacked a lot, but he was more serious——

Shencheng trembled, covering his face with his hands.

"I hope someone can tell me that what I like is me, not because of my paintings. I want to be needed and loved..."

Childish speech.Saiki sighed helplessly.

"It's stupid. What you want is unreasonable and selfless love. The only ones who can give you this kind of love are your parents... No, your parents don't understand. The only ones who can give you this kind of love are gods and friends. Yes. In this world, few people can get this kind of love. You are not the only one who can’t get it. Just be glad you can still draw. Because ordinary people have nothing.”

The lonely and weak man loved by the gods met Saiki's gentle gaze, and then looked at the full-length mirror in the studio.Peng was never seen standing beside them again.They lost Peng's pure love forever.

From now on, only calculating love will be left.A love that comforts human pity, loneliness and desire.Probably everyone would call it love.But that's better than nothing.

Saiki stood up slowly.Walking up to the man with his head down and covering his face with his hands, he put his palms on his shoulders.

"Stand up. Go to the sofa bed over there"

Maybe because of his gentle voice, Shencheng let go of his hands in surprise and looked up at Zhaimu.The man in front of him was crying, and Zhaimu smiled wryly.

"Go to bed today. I'll be with you"

Turn off the light in the studio and take Shencheng to the sofa bed.They didn't intend to sleep together, but Shencheng sniffed and hugged Zhaimu's body.It seems that he wants to sleep with Saimu no matter what.

"Xiao Ming..."

The voice is dependent and coquettish.Hearing Shencheng's voice, Zhaimu smiled.

"I'll do anything, stay by my side"

In the darkness, the man pleaded.

"I like you, Xiao Ming. Please, stay by my side. Please, say you like me. Whether you lie to me or lie to me, say you like me—"

Saiki pulled the man's face towards him.Silenced his words with a kiss.