What if you don't want to fall in love with the school bully?

My name is Yang Shaoqing, you can also call me Qiu Hang, both are my names.

I am a child who was trafficked from birth to a small town thousands of miles away from home. I have no impression of my biological parents. Fortunately, my adoptive parents are very good people. They treat me very well. TV The plot of buying children as cows and horses as slaves in the movie did not happen to me.

Aunt Li was trafficked along with me. She was a college student back then. I didn’t know exactly how she was tricked into getting here. It was because I didn’t understand when I was a child, and I didn’t want to poke her when I grew up. Scar, I would occasionally hear her babbling on her own initiative, those few words were not pasted into stories in my mind, I only knew that she couldn't get out of that small and remote place in the feudal tradition.

I am very grateful to my adoptive parents. They love me very much. In order to give me the best education, they even tried their best to move out of the village and were willing to live with their snobbish uncle for several years.

My adoptive mother is a very hard-working woman. Everything in the house is well-organized. She is rarely seen sick. In my impression, she has always been a healthy, capable and hardworking image. She is very kind to me and will do it for me and my family. My peers build good relationships, inquire about popular clothing styles, and buy me the latest sneakers.

But at the same time, she is also a stingy person who loves to take advantage of things. She is very contradictory. I didn’t understand at all before why she could spend thousands of dollars on me to buy clothes and trousers for me to learn boxing, but she didn’t even pay a few dollars with others Interest is up for debate.

Then she understood, and she left too.

I have two good buddies, one is Haozi and the other is Heizi, Haozi will not be mentioned, there is nothing to say, Heizi is the best and strongest brother in my life.

In the eyes of outsiders, I am a cool, handsome, cold, and popular person. It is a bit shameless to say that. In fact, my popularity is drawn by Hei Er. His personality is very popular. Talking nonsense, I can play with anyone, and on the one hand, I am in his favor.

He and I are very strong, and there is no other way to go up the mountain of swords and down into the sea of ​​fire. Before the second year of high school, we stuck together every day, until the appearance of that person changed everything.

That person is the only person I have ever loved in my life, and the only person I have ever gotten along with as a lover. His name is Jiang Qixiao, and he is a man.

Yes, that's right, man.

After living so long and growing up, I, who have never liked anyone, unexpectedly fell in love with a man.

Later, whenever I recalled this place, I always thought that I was attracted to Jiang Qixiao because of his status as an "outsider" at the beginning, and gradually began to pay attention to him.

Maybe it's why I've been longing to get out of here and find my true self?

Jiang Qixiao is a very nice person, very kind, he helps me make up lessons for free, and he doesn’t care if my mother is cheated. His knowledge and cultivation are incompatible with the people here, and I often admire him from the bottom of my heart. Of course, I won’t say these words to my face. Tell him.

The relationship with him has gradually improved. In addition to making up lessons, there is also the fact that his golf skills are very good. Occasionally he can draw with me, which makes me very happy. I invited him to participate in school games.

It is commonplace for me to be targeted in competitions, but that time someone stepped on and broke my leg bone, and it was because of the broken bone that the subsequent development with Jiang Qixiao, every time I think back to this past , Jiang Qixiao will always be sitting quietly in the store under the sun and gently flipping through the book with his fingertips, which will warm his whole heart.

That was the happiest and unforgettable time I have ever experienced in my life.

I secretly like him, but I dare not admit it, nor dare to face this strange and deformed feeling.

I didn't expect Jiang Qixiao's first love to come to my door. What I didn't expect was that his first love was a man. I didn't question him, but stated that he was gay, and he didn't deny it.

I said he liked me and he denied it.

I don't believe that if he's gay and happens to respond to my body, how could he not like me, he's lying.

But is Jiang Qixiao's acting skills that good?Rejecting and denying me again and again, do you really not like me?

Aunt Li's death had a great impact on me. She was one of the most important women in my life. She taught me the purest Mandarin and told me that one day in the future, if I have the opportunity, I must go out of here. She said none of us belonged here.

I don’t want to say more about the cause of her death, it’s very hard to tell. I cried for a long time alone in the room without eating or drinking. I was very sad and kept asking myself why I couldn’t grow up quickly and why I couldn’t protect the three of them.

I spurned myself, blamed myself, and thought that my inaction indirectly caused their deaths. At this moment, when there was darkness around me, Jiang Qixiao came to my side again and pulled me out. illuminated me.

I won't let him go, I thought.

I don’t know if it’s because I like someone for the first time in my life or something, I really can’t control this feeling, I like him so much, I wish I could kill him, I know that the passionate impulse will come soon Then burn me to ashes completely.

However, God did not give me a chance to show this side. It arranged a good opportunity for me. I was stabbed, and I heard Jiang Qixiao's voice smoothly, and we are together.

I really like him so much, as long as he is two meters away from me, I want to hold him in my arms, rub him hard, kiss him, bite him, I have always resisted this impulse, this almost Crazy urges to be intimate.

I want to eat him.

I never showed it, I hid it well, he didn't know anything about it.

A long time later, I saw a sentence on the Internet - love to the extreme is abnormal.

I think that is the truest portrayal of my heart. If one day, Jiang Qixiao dares to leave me for other reasons, I think I will find him and kill him.

I can't accept that he left me again.

Yes, he left me. After I was admitted to university and lived with him for a year, he was forced to leave by my adoptive mother. I can probably guess what my adoptive mother would say to him. It was nothing more than blaming him for all the mistakes. , put him under psychological pressure, and then force him to leave with the card of a loving mother.

I originally wanted to tell my adoptive mother that I would never be separated from him, and then go to catch Jiang Qixiao back, but God made a huge joke with me this time, it made my adoptive mother suffer from cancer, but if a People with a little bit of conscience and filial piety can't accept that my mother vomited blood and coughed in front of her and resisted her.

The doctor said that active treatment has a high chance of surviving. I persuaded her to have an operation, but she refused. She said that the rest of the money should be left for me to go to college. She said I must finish college. I used the same reason to force She had surgery, she compromised.

I don't have time to look for Jiang Qixiao. Apart from going to class all day, I just go to restaurants to serve dishes, wash vegetables, and order food. I have insisted on the so-called dignity for so many years. In fact, it is nothing more than that. I can still bow my head to others. It is still possible to flatter others with that mouth that has never been willing to flatter.

The money I earned was far from enough, and surgery and chemotherapy required a lot of money. I promised Director Tian that I would go black boxing.

I was warned in the beginning that this stuff would haunt me, change me, destroy me.

I had to make money, so I firmly believed that I could stay sane. I soon realized that I was wrong. The thrill of fighting trumped everything. I was addicted to violence and power and I lost control many times.

Looking for the most primitive way of fighting like an animal, like a beast makes my heart become more and more brutal and bloodthirsty, and I am about to fall in love with the taste of blood.

A girl appeared beside me. She said she admired me and liked me. I neither took the initiative nor refused, and kept a certain distance from her.

She was very smart, and turned the arrow to my adoptive mother, and I acquiesced. Besides letting the opposite sex take care of the adoptive mother to make them happier, another idea was to wait for Jiang Qixiao to come back and see jealousy.

I still can't get rid of this childish problem.

I love Jiang Qixiao very much. In the nights when he left me these days, when I returned home with injuries from a fight, I would think about him like crazy. I never told anyone how much my heart hurts. how sad.I have so many things to do every day, I can only force myself to think less.

No one can hear my voice.I've been pushing myself.

How painful is it? I once watched the episode of Wulin rumors where Tong Xiangyu thought Bai Zhantang was dead. Tong Xiangyu said, "Since the moment he left, my heart feels like being cut by thousands of knives at the same time. , cut it, hurt it, cut it, hurt it, finally got a scar, another cut, I pray every day, forget him, forget it, forget it, you will be relieved, forget it It hurts, but I still can't forget it, when I wake up, my mind is full of him, and when I finally fall asleep, I still have him in my dream."

I am deeply touched by this passage, the only difference is that the thousands of knives have been going in and out of my heart, never stopping, there is no time for scabs, and I am bleeding all the time.

His mind is full of him, and when he sleeps, he always lies to himself that he is asleep, but he is still in his dream when he finally falls asleep.

I thought I only had such a little friendship with Pan Zhinan, but I didn't expect her to bring me a huge surprise.

She knew my biological mother.

The first time I saw Qiu Rou, I was sure that Qiu Rou was my biological mother. She looked so much like me, every frown and smile was like looking at myself in the mirror.

Qiu Rou ran to my adoptive mother's bed in the ward, pointed at her adoptive mother's nose, and yelled at her for being inhuman, devoid of conscience, daring to steal the child, and said a lot of nasty things. I knew it was likely to happen just by looking at the adoptive mother's face It's true.

Years of relationship made me choose to drive away my biological mother. After all, my adoptive mother is suffering from cancer. I don't want her to be stimulated. She treats me too well.

Qiu Rou approached me privately and told me that my father was a mixed-race man, as tall as me, and as white as me. I had never seen him before, and I don't know if I would have the opportunity to witness his dignity in this life. It's a bit of a pity.

Qiu Rou has had a great influence on my mother, causing her to have a high fever, unconsciousness, and a coma most of the time. I still insist on doing my own things well every day, and relying on my own strength to get the money to hand over to her. Hospital.

I received a call from Jiang Qixiao without any preparation. He didn't say a word, but I knew it was him. I knew how much he loved me. I guessed what my mother would say in front of him. pointed at his weakness, and kept poking at the points that would make him feel distressed.

Not betting, I'm sure he can't stand what I'm saying.

He didn't say anything, just gasps on the other end of the phone.

I won the bet. When I went back at night, he was sitting on the sofa in our rental house. He was thin, haggard, and smoking.

I don’t know if he remembers, but I told him not to smoke a long time ago, but he is so disobedient, I want to punish him.

I want to punish him severely!

I slapped him. This was the first time in my life that I seriously touched him. I thought the sadness in my heart would become less. Who knew I was wrong. Looking at his scarlet eyes from crying, But he was so stubborn that he refused to make a sound of pain, and my heart ached.

Reluctant.

I love him so much.

How can I touch him.

Mom is dead, and I take her last words as blessings to me and Jiang Qixiao.

Later, I left the ring and took off my fist gloves. I dared not touch them for a long time. It had such a great impact on me. The impulse to lose control and just want to show blood with my fists was terrible. .With Jiang Qixiao's continuous efforts, it took a long time to gradually learn to control the violent and wanton emotions.

I broke a leg named Lin and knocked out two teeth. I hate him very much. He guessed it was me and wanted to sue me. He tried a lot of contacts to get me in, but unfortunately he failed. One is that there is no evidence, and the other is that the power behind Qiu Rou is strong enough to compete with the surnamed Lin, and he can't touch me at all.

Next time I have a chance, I should break his other leg, and then poke him out of his shady deeds, and let this disgusting vicious dog have a taste of being secretly tricked.

When Jiang Qixiao took me to that villa and told me that he would take me abroad to get married with me and his overseas residence permit, I was very surprised. The days I stayed in the dark made me almost forget the original How innocent I am, and I have said such stupid things.

I'm very happy, Jiang Qixiao didn't give up on me in that situation, he always encouraged me, stayed by my side, expelled the dark side in my heart, I think, I will change back to the old me again, it just needs a matter of time.

I will be with him forever, will not be separated, only death, not life.

Everyone is unique and lives their own life.

The story of my first half of my life is like this, Jiang Qixiao and I will always have hope, be full of love for life, and live without fear.

If you are a little unsatisfactory in all aspects now, don’t give up. No one will have smooth sailing in his life, and everything will be fine.