What if you don't want to fall in love with the school bully?

May is very hot in the coastal cities in the south, so the rainy season does not make people feel cool even at night.

Jiang Qixiao didn't turn on the lights or the air conditioner. The temperature was so high that it made people sweat, and there was only a little light coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows in the room. cigarette.

Yes, he was back to the cigarettes he had so hard to quit.

The seventeenth floor is very quiet. Downstairs is a busy street, but there is no sound of traffic here.

He missed Yang Shaoqing again.

In fact, I think about it every day, when I wake up, when I eat, when I work, I can't escape even in my dreams, it's all Yang Shaoqing's face.

What is Yang Shaoqing doing?

Will you miss him?

Will you eat well and sleep well?

Did you spend time with your parents and Xiaocao?

I want to cry every day. As long as I think of Yang Shaoqing, his eyes will start to feel uncomfortable. He thought, it will pass. Didn’t the one with the surname Lin pass away? I can let go of this wrong feeling.

Most definitely.

While Jiang Qixiao was persuading himself in this way, he couldn't control his brain and heart, and lived in regret and annoyance all the time.

Jiang Qixiao has never mentioned anything about Yang Shaoqing to others here, he deliberately avoided the possibility of telling anyone about his pain, he dared not listen to the music, his eyes would start to swell as soon as the tone was sad.The number of times he has cried since he was a child can be counted on his fingers, only two or three times. He once thought that his lacrimal glands were thicker than others and that's why he was like this.

But now he found out that he was wrong.

Big mistakes.

Jiang Qixiao knew the feeling of being abandoned, and that feeling made people not want to try it again, but now he abandoned Yang Shaoqing, and unilaterally gave up his relationship with Yang Shaoqing.

Jiang Qixiao laughed involuntarily.

coward.

coward.

useless.

He was sweating all over, his body was very hot and uncomfortable, and he even had some difficulty breathing, but this was nothing compared to the one-tenth of the pain in his heart.

The base of his fingers felt hot. Jiang Qixiao raised his hand and saw that the cigarette had been burned out. He threw the cigarette butt on the messy ground, took a couple of heavy breaths, something flashed through his mind, and he turned over and sat down. Get up and look at the desk where you work.

There are some documents and lesson plans for work on it, and there is also a notebook that he has never opened.

It was Yang Shaoqing's notebook that he brought with him when he came out of the rented room.

Jiang Qixiao didn't know what he was doing with that notebook. He didn't even look through it when he brought it out. First, he didn't have the courage, and second, he didn't have the courage.

He suddenly wanted to see what was written inside.

Jiang Qixiao swallowed his throat, took a deep breath, mustered up the courage to walk to the desk, and sat down on the chair.

He didn't open it right away, but hesitated for a long time, his heart pounding, obviously he just opened a notebook, but he felt as uneasy as peeking at someone taking a shower.

After a long time, Jiang Qixiao finally convinced himself in his heart, raised his hand and gently opened the first page.

The three characters Yang Shaoqing were printed vigorously on the paper, and the imprint of the black pen reminded Jiang Qixiao of Yang Shaoqing's smelly and cool face when he first met.

The language is so poor, but the writing is not bad.

The corner of Jiang Qixiao's mouth drew a bitter arc, and then turned to the second page.

This notebook was bought by Yang Shaoqing when he was in junior high school in order to improve his writing skills, but the length of his records from junior high school to high school is only a few five articles, and they are all journals, without any skills at all.

Jiang Qixiao laughed several times. He could imagine the scene where Xiao Yang impatiently wrote down these words.

After the sixth chapter, my own name began to appear.

Jiang Qixiao's back stiffened unconsciously, and his breathing also stagnated, printing the content into his eyes word for word.

2xxx, September 9, sunny

Zhang Shuhao called today and asked me to go to their dance troupe's performance. I didn't really want to go, but he said it very sincerely. In the words of the Chinese teacher, it means sincerity. It should be such a word, so I agreed.

Jiang Qixiao was by my side when he called, oh yes, Jiang Qixiao is a new neighbor, he lives across the street, he is teaching high school students, his level is very high, he is not at all different from those teachers in our school Debi, I understand a lot of questions when he mentions them a little bit, which is not bad.

He said that his xiao is Xiaoyong's xiao, I don't know how to write it, but I know it's him anyway.

Jiang is a very gossipy person, and he didn't avoid people calling. He deliberately asked me if I had a relationship with Haozi. I didn't tell him, but I asked him to go to the show with me, and he agreed.

Hei'er still talked so much, and he also knew something was wrong with Haozi, but we didn't mention it, after all, we used to be so close.Although I thought that Haozi would deal with some moths, but this time I really didn't expect him to ask Zhou Laoqi to take the guy to squat with us. I told Haozi that this is the last time, and human patience has a limit.

Really annoying!

Hei'er and I can't bear to fight against more than fifty people, even if we can fight among our peers. I didn't expect Jiang to help us. How should I put it, it's a bit strange. My relationship with him is not that good, right?And he doesn't look too good at playing.

Forget it, he helped everything, and for us... well, he was beaten for me, so I won't say anything else.

Sister Jiao's troubles are really annoying! !I'd rather she be a stranger to me outside than to provoke Zhou Laoqi's fishy smell, it's so fucking annoying.

I sent Jiang to the hospital for an examination. His bones were fine, and the expression on his face being touched by the female doctor was wonderful. Then I went to his house and asked him to apply the medicine for me. I took the opportunity to apologize to Jiang and told him that I really didn’t know what happened today. Know.

After thinking about it, this is the first time I have apologized to someone, and I even said thank you to him. I didn't want to see his expression, so I hurried back.

That's it for today.Jiang Qixiao looked like a nice guy.

2xxx years, October 10th, overcast.National Day Weekly

A few days ago, Jiang Qixiao invited us to a mountain villa for a treat. I had been to that place before, and it was not interesting at all. Now it is even more boring to go there again, without drinking any wine.

A girl in the same grade as me asked me what kind of girl I like, and I said I hit it off, but Jiang Qixiao actually said something flat-headed, speechless!It's fate, not head circle!

Oh, by the way, he forced me to write his name several times during make-up lessons a few days ago, so now I can already write this word. (Smile)

I saw them eat delicious barbecue, and I couldn’t help but ate a few skewers, which made me go to the hospital with a stomachache. It was really painful, like a mouse in my stomach was burrowing into my intestines and stomach, with a sharp claw The pain of scratching.Jiang Qixiao blamed himself very much, thinking that he didn't take good care of me, so he stayed with me in the hospital.

I lay at home for two days, and my parents said they would take me back to my hometown. I know what they mean, and I can also go back to see Aunt Li. Jiang Qixiao, who lives in the city, looks like he has never seen the countryside Look, I let him follow me.

He has a temper like a young master, and he is afraid of bugs. When I said there were cockroaches and mice, his reaction was amusing to death. When I was sleeping on the first night, I took a closer look at Jiang Qixiao. The lines on his face were very soft. , the skin is very good, and the eyelashes are long, which makes me feel no different from a girl.

I couldn't sleep on my side, and after he fell asleep, I secretly lay down on my back, hugging Jiang Qixiao on my body and fell asleep. This was the first night.

He's so squeamish, he can't eat spicy food after eating noodles, the chili is so strong, I took him to Aunt Li's house, I met Xiao Yu'er and his brother, they were still dressed like that, that man probably never wanted to be on them To spend money, I gave her 200 yuan, and went to help Aunt Li with some farm work before going back.

Jiang Qixiao asked me about Aunt Li, and I just said that she was kidnapped and couldn't run away. I was a little surprised that he didn't ask me why I didn't call the police. I was going to tell him about the collusion here. The phenomenon is serious, so let's stop here.

The second night when I went to bed, I asked him to lie on his side, and I lay on my back, but when I woke up in the middle of the night, he was sleeping with his back facing me!I was so angry, I pulled him into my arms again, I really wanted to strangle him to death!

For a moment after we got home, I wondered why he came to such a small place by himself. He didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t bother to ask. Hei’er and I went to play ball in the afternoon. It was raining and we were drenched However, my mother went out. Fortunately, Jiang Qixiao borrowed a place to give us a bath and change clothes to avoid the possibility of catching a cold.

The two of them had a meal with Sister Jiao, and I asked Jiang Qixiao what kind of woman he likes, but he didn't have time to say it, so I'll talk it out next time!In the evening, he said he wanted to invite me to a movie, but I didn't let him invite him, man, how could he invite the other party to treat him.The movie was boring, but Jiang Qixiao watched it with gusto. The next day Hei'er let me go, and then I took Jiang Qixiao to the school basketball court.

He plays basketball very well!It's better than Hei'er, I'm very happy, he lost to me with a request, I haven't figured out how to raise it yet, what's disappointing is that Zhou Lao went to follow up again, and brought Haozi with him.

I was ready to be beaten for Haozi, but I used to be a brother anyway, so I couldn't ignore it, but Jiang Qixiao pushed me away, and secretly reported a letter to Sister Jiao, this person...how should I say it? , I told him the grievances and grievances with Haozi, and he attentively became a listener, which is very good, I like it very much.

2xxx, October 10, overcast

Recently, Jiang Qixiao and I had a cold war because I yelled at him at the school sports meeting.

In fact, I seldom swear at people so seriously. I don't know what happened that day, but I just yelled out all at once. Jiang Qixiao didn't have any expression on his face, and turned his head and left.

Very temperamental.

I went to the boxing gym for several hours before I dared to go home. I knew that I was wrong, but I didn’t know how to tell him. If you say that it’s basically impossible for Hei’er and me to have a fight, As long as he and I are angry, we can punch each other twice and it will be over. There will be no embarrassment in our hearts.

But facing Jiang Qixiao... just...

Alas, it’s hard to say, anyway, I’m embarrassed to go.

It's broken.Isn't it because he insisted on persuading me to fall in love, even if I don't want to?Why do you say this and that, is it annoying? !Hold!

Forget it, don't write it, lest after thinking about it for a while, it becomes his fault, my fault, my fault!This thing is my fault!

2xxx, October 11, overcast

Jiang Qixiao joined our school's team and wanted to help us play. The game was over, and I broke a bone in my leg.

After finally recording an incident, I found that the last time I wrote it was last month. The cold war between Jiang Qixiao and I had already been reconciled, and with his help, I drank several sips of casserole noodles from the snack street. soup.

Hey hey hey.

I don't know why I want to laugh when I mention him now, I think there may be something wrong with me, Hei'er and I have known each other for so long, and I have never felt like this, but Jiang Qixiao seems to repel me a little bit, I don't understand.

Fuck...why does he reject me!Neuropathy (smile!)

The bone was broken by Wang Zhong, I will deal with him when I am ready! !Jiang Qixiao's reaction after I fell made me a little happy. I took the opportunity to ask him the question that he didn't answer me last time, and he actually told me that he likes good-looking people! !

So superficial! !

I also asked about his first love, and he said it was because of the family split. I was curious about what kind of woman could make him fall in love.

The behavior of my parents makes me... I don’t want to write, I am a little ashamed, I am embarrassed to say it, alas!

They actually gave me to Jiang Qixiao for cheap!Although I'm a little happy...but!Jiang Qixiao is definitely not happy!If you don't charge money and confiscate benefits, who would take over a patient with a broken leg like me.

Fuck...fuck!I'm going to be entangled to death! !

Jiang Qixiao not only helped me go to the bathroom, but also helped me take a bath, and also helped me with my lessons. Even I felt that he had lost his deal.He was very quiet when he helped me take off my pants, usually so much nonsense that I don’t know where to fly, it’s strange.Also very focused, the movements under his hands are very light, very...gentle.

He actually blushed at me? ?I am very! ! ? ? ?What's the reaction?Why are you blushing at something you own?Are you inferior? Hahaha! !

I don’t know what’s wrong with the guy named Wei from No. [-] Middle School. He often comes to harass Jiang Qixiao, which makes me very irritable. He’s crazy. He even beat Wang Zhong up for me on his own initiative. I can’t be happy at all, okay? !

2xxx, November 11, rainy

I just came back from the operation in the hospital last week, and it hurts like hell!No reason ah ah ah!How can there be such a painful operation! ! !Caused me to slap my face in front of Jiang Qixiao! (Smile)

And I have a fever, I haven't been sick for a long time, damn Wang Zhong!Damn Zhou Lao Qi!Wait for me!

Jiang Qixiao's real mother, what kind of magic fruit can an apple be called by him, vomit!You don't need to bring such comfort to comfort children, okay?

But to be honest, I was very happy when Jiang Qixiao went to see me in the hospital.

I really like the feeling of staying quietly in the store with Jiang Qixiao. I don't have to think so much, and I don't have to face complicated school ghosts.

Damn, what idea, forget it, in order to keep the writing clean and tidy, I will not cross out the last sentence, as if I didn't write it.

2xxx, October 11, overcast

Jiang Qixiao and I kissed! ! !

wrong!I didn't stick out my tongue, it should be said that it was a kiss!

Hei'er brought someone to the store to play the game of kings, my dear, Jiang Qixiao's behavior was a little strange, he seemed to be more nervous than me, very hesitant, and... maybe, he still seemed to repel me a little?I've known each other for so long, what does this idiot mean!So I took the initiative to press on his head and kiss him!

The taste... how should I put it, it's very soft, the heartbeat is fast, it's just... pretty good.

Hey.

Jiang Qixiao said it wasn't a kiss, okay, whatever he said, he asked me if I liked An Huihui, I thought about it seriously, actually I think An Huihui is really pretty, really It's pretty, but I don't call, I don't feel it.

But I find it a little strange that Jiang Qixiao said that An Huihui is beautiful. He, an old man, is he planning on An Huihui?I couldn't control my emotions and yelled at Jiang Qixiao again. I regretted it and took the initiative to talk to him. Fortunately, he is not so stingy hehehe!

Jiang Qixiao didn't even blush at me when he bathed me recently, it's strange, don't you feel envious after watching too much?old man!

2xxx, November 2, rainy

Jiang Qixiao is gay.

Also, I like Jiang Qixiao.

I don’t remember exactly when I discovered it. Now it seems that I haven’t recorded it for a long time, and I forgot to write down those details. Recently, I spent too much energy thinking about him when I was with him. In the future, I will often practice pen!Send 4! (Smile)

Anyway, I found out that he was gay, and I forced him to question him, but he didn't deny it, but I asked him if he liked me, but he denied it.

Deceiving.

I'm so handsome...although I'm not very handsome. (Smile)

Do I look unpopular in the eyes of GAY?How could he not like me?Don't like me blushing at my naked body? Don't like it? I keep asking me if I like it. What is An Huihui doing?

I kissed him and he slapped me in the face!Be petty and petty!Just a kiss!As for it!

He doesn't agree to try it with me, no, didn't he praise me for being handsome in front of me before, why is he saying something different now, is he pretending?he is afraid?

No, the first time I like someone, I want to be with him!

2xxx, September 3, sunny

I'm with Jiang Qixiao! ! !

Aunt Li passed away.

I don't want to talk about these two things together, let's record Aunt Li's matter another day, let's talk about me and Jiang Qixiao first.

I knew he liked me, but I still didn't admit it, hum, Zhou Laoqi's matter is finally over, I know Sister Jiao has done some things in it, but I don't want to have anything to do with her in the future, it's too annoying! !Don't see each other again, big sister! !

No one else would have guessed how Jiang Qixiao agreed to be with me!I asked him what he liked, and I told him that as long as he said, I would change it!

His eyes were a little red, but he didn't cry. He said, "I'm trying to describe you."

Hahahaha I know he secretly likes me! !I'm so happy, fuck!People who like it for the first time like me too! !It's a pity that Hei'er has been pestered by Li Jing's affairs recently!Otherwise, I will share my happy event with him!

ha ha ha happy! (Show your teeth!)

I like Jiang Qixiao very much, it is the kind of liking that can only be liked for him for a lifetime, hard-won feelings need to be cherished, I will not let go easily, love tiger oil Jiang Qixiao~

Go to sleep~ hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

2xxx years, April 4th, sunny

Yesterday was my birthday!Jiang Qixiao actually gave me seventeen birthday presents!It’s actually eighteen, but it’s not very well written, hehehe.

He pretended not to know it was my birthday during the day, and he was almost mad at him! !

In the evening, he gave me a surprise, including rogue rabbits, jade Buddha necklaces, puzzles, piggy banks, building blocks, drawing boards and paints, remote control racing cars, toy guns, music boxes, airplane models, MP3, PSP, comics, skateboards, roller skates , basketball, sneakers, a pot of Evergreen.

He said that these things were bought according to my growth process, and they were birthday presents from one year old to 17 years old.

There are loquat trees in the courtyard, tsk tsk, cultural people make things, hahaha!This object is really good!

Jiang Qixiao! !Jiang Jiang Qi Qi Xiaoxiao! !

Of course I know your affection!

Jiang Qixiao, I know that if it does not wither, it means that your love will always be there. It is evergreen, and it will not wither. So is my feeling for you. I don’t know what to say in front of you, but I am Really love you, like you, although we have not been together so long, but we have the remaining ten years, 20 years, 30 years, 50 years, 100 years!

You said that you missed me for 18 years and wanted to come to me sooner. You said that every year in the future, whether it is spring, summer or autumn and winter, you want to be with me, be in the same boat with me, help me, and be with me Do everything I can, you want me to have you in my future.

I didn't answer you at that time, do you know why?I was so surprised that I didn't know what to say.

I don't know if it's because I'm calmer now or what, but I want to talk to you some nasty things.

Jiang Qixiao, I also want to have you every year in the future. I made a wish yesterday. I hope that no matter how much the reality brings us, no matter how much wind and rain we suffer, we can bear it and stand side by side firmly. go on!I want you to live forever in my life, in my world, as you say, in the same boat.

For you, I can do anything!Great powers!Three heads and six arms!Everything is exquisite!Both ways! !Hahaha these are the dictionaries I just looked up!Anyway, I can live or die for you!

Hey hey hey!I love you! ! (love)

I'm so sure now!My love for Jiang Qixiao can no longer be given to others, I will do this for the rest of my life!I love him!extremely love!Yang Shaoqing!come on!Get into a good school!Give him a home in the future!Let him no longer suffer any harm!

Come on, come on, work hard, work hard, read books, study and study! ! !

……

Jiang Qixiao couldn't take it anymore.

The liquid fell out of the eye sockets without warning, tears gushed out, and the nasal cavity was also blocked by the liquid. It was difficult to breathe because of the high temperature, but now it is almost blocking him to death.

He didn't have the courage to read Yang Shaoqing's mental journey any longer. Every word and sentence was stuck on the tip of his heart like an axe. His heart hurt so much that he wanted to cut it open to see what was inside. What, why does it hurt so much, why does it make him so desperate.

lean less...

The words Yang Shaoqing once wrote were engraved in his eyes, brain and heart.

pain.

Every nerve ending in the body is aching, every cell is crying, not only from longing, but also regret, apology, and things he can't describe, every emotion is pulling him nerves.

Behold, what absurdity he has done.

Why did we agree to be together in the first place? If we were not together, it would not be so painful. If Yang Shaoqing hadn’t been dragged into the water, he might have left this matter behind in a few days. desire, you will not suffer the bone-eroding pain of separation today.

Not only was he with Yang Shaoqing, but he also abandoned Yang Shaoqing.

Jiang Qixiao, why are you so sad.

Why is it always so sad.

"I'm sorry... I love you... I love you, I really love you, I really love you... I'm really sorry..." Jiang Qixiao covered his face, lost his composure again, and burst into tears.

What else can I say except I'm sorry, what else can you do besides hiding in this dark corner and saying I love you without responding, you trash.

He hurts so much.

What can I do to relieve his pain a little... even a little, it's really too painful...

This kind of pain filled his whole body from his heart, and even flooded into his bones and blood, screaming fiercely that he would have to die in this life!