Freedom

"Why do you say that?" Lu Qi stroked his hair.

"If I met you earlier, there would be more happy things than unhappy things." Mu Zhou tilted his head, thought for a while and said, "Did I not tell you about my family?"

Lu Qi shook his head lightly.

"Okay, then I'll only talk about it this time, after all...it's a bit uncomfortable to say it."

Large clouds passed over their heads, the blue sky was high and far away, and the shadows of leaves were mottled around them. A lame cat with piebald feet stepped on the wet soil and dead leaves.

"It's a bit long to say...and it's not very honorable. Mu Tingsong and my mother ordered a baby kiss."

Mu Tingsong is Mu Zhou's father, who was a well-known local entrepreneur seven years ago, but now he can only stay in a mental hospital.

"My mother's family, that is, the Bai family, is also in business. Of course, it is not as powerful as the Mu family. My grandfather wanted to cling to the Mu family, but of course he refused to withdraw. My mother knew about this since she was a child, and felt terrible. , so I always wanted to run away. It went well. I went abroad to study, and I hope I don’t have to go home. But she is too naive, how is this possible, when she is old, she was arrested by my grandfather before the Mu family spoke gone back."

Mu Zhou closed his eyes and spoke in a steady voice, as if he had recalled this story thousands of times in his mind, "Later, they gave birth to me in the second year after they got married."

Lu Qi didn't interrupt him, but just watched intently, the sunlight trembling on Mu Zhou's closed eyelashes.

"Actually, he was very kind to my mother when we first got married, but Bai Lu didn't appreciate it. She would resist, take me out, and come home very late. In fact, she just stayed in the art gallery all day, or Go to the aquarium, she likes the sea."

Mu Zhou smiled, but the tenderness only stayed at the corner of his mouth: "She obviously only does these simple things, but she never tells Mu Tingsong, and never justifies her suspicion of Mu Tingsong. She wants to provoke him and leave him , Sometimes I think, it is obvious that Mu Tingsong has treated her so well, even a lover may not be able to reach his level, but why Bai Lu refuses to accept it, is the order of falling in love really that important?"

Lu Qi knew that he didn't need to answer, he was just sad.

"But Mu Tingsong refused. He locked her up and cut off all her ways of contacting the outside world."

"□□?"

Mu Zhou shrugged his shoulders: "Yes, he has the potential to be a madman, and now he can be considered to have maximized his potential."

"Bai Lu couldn't get out, so he hid in the studio all day, painting birch forests, flying birds, gray lake water, and the sea, just like painting the days when she was free. I was with her Strangely, it wasn't too difficult. I ate in the studio every day, watched her paint, listened to her telling stories, and slept in the closet when I was sleepy. Even the clothes in the closet smelled of paint and turpentine. "

"Later, one night when it was raining heavily, Mu Tingsong was discussing business abroad. The guards probably thought that no one would want to go out in this weather, so they relaxed their vigilance. She finally took me out of the house. After tracing, she only brought documents and cash, and took the bus that I had sat for a long time to a pier, and we boarded a cargo ship."

Lu Qi listened quietly, the development of the story was somewhat beyond his expectation.

"I was young at the time, and I didn't know which countries the freighter was going to deliver. I just remembered that the time at sea was very long. Every day we had a rough breakfast, usually salted beans, steamed buns, and canned vegetables. Sometimes the captain sees me as pitiful, and will make me a cup of sour plum soup."

"There was nothing else to do after dinner, so Bai Lu sat on the deck with his arms around me, looking at the boundless sea. At that time, I felt like the ship was parked in one place, because the sea as far as I could see was always the same , seems to be trapped here forever, I cry, and Bai Lu coaxes me gently."

"She became very peaceful, and her every move was beautiful. She said, baby, why are you crying? Isn't freedom good? She told me about the days when she was studying, when she was a child, about her growing up, about her now, about her She planted a tree called 'freedom' at her school in Paris..."

"Later, I gradually got used to it. Watching the dolphins jump out of the sea, and the whales in the distance spraying out the water column, there will be a small rainbow, and I feel happy. I thought that such days would be very long, after all, the time at sea So slow. But one night on the return voyage, she disappeared." Mu Zhou shook his head slightly, "At sea, where can one go if a person disappears?"

Lu Qi clenched Mu Zhou's fingers, his fingertips were pale and cold.

How could it be so cold, he thought.

"I cried all day. Fortunately, I arrived at the shore the next day. She jumped off at the estimated time. Mu Tingsong was guarding the pier when he arrived. I don't know how he got the news. "

"It's been so long, it's okay, I just want to tell you." Mu Zhou felt the strength of his fingers, and scratched his palm comfortingly, "Later, Mu Tingsong's spirit gradually became abnormal. When he almost accidentally drowned me in the washbasin by pressing my head, I finally escaped."

"I didn't even go to class anymore. I just wanted to be as far away from home as possible, so I fled to City B. Now that I think about it, I think it was Bai Lu who taught me this, and I always want to leave. After entering his school, he wandered around the campus hiding from the teachers every day, like a lonely ghost exposed to the sun."

"The air in the north is as dry as the sun, unlike City G, which is always sticky and greasy. I have never felt so comfortable. I feel both relieved and hopeless." Mu Zhou paused, then lowered his voice, "I plotted my own death there."

He untied the Haibo bracelet on his wrist, and the scar was exposed to the sun, "I got a cut here, and it hurt a lot at the time, but I soon lost consciousness, and even my consciousness was floating. Later, I was probably killed by someone. Saved, I was hugged and ran by him, it was really cold, but that stranger's body was very warm."

"When I was put on the operating table, a beam of light shone down. What I thought at that moment was that sooner or later, that lunatic Mu Tingsong will forget me. I will soon have no future, and even the past may not be. Yes, no one will remember me, I really walked away cleanly."

"But I still didn't die. When I woke up, there was this bracelet on the bedside of the hospital. The doctor said it was left by the person who saved me." Mu Zhou smiled, "I've been wearing it ever since. , has been alive."

Lu Qi lowered his eyes, took the bracelet, rubbed it in his hand, and the bracelet was soon soaked with his temperature.

He took Mu Zhou's hand, kissed the scar lightly, and said in a low voice, "No."

"What?" Mu Zhou didn't understand.

Lu Qi tied the bracelet on him, and the blue silver threads were hooked together, as if the fate was ups and downs, but he refused to let go.

"Your past is not empty." Lu Qi stretched out his hand and pulled him off the rock, "Let's go again."

He pulled Mu Zhou out of the woods: "When you left school, you didn't like to walk on the main road. You liked to walk on this gravel road. Because it was remote, it was always dark at night. You never turned on the flashlight, and your night vision is so good. very."

Mu Zhou looked at him incredulously, and walked stumblingly.

"Although you like to stare at the snack alley, you don't like to eat in it. Every time you go, you just buy octopus balls and ice cream balls, one each of vanilla and milk flavors. Do you know why the boss makes more vanilla flavors? "

Mu Zhou shook his head, his eyes were uncertain, and Lu Qi continued, "Because I made a reservation in advance, and I told the boss that you will sell it to you when you come. He recognizes you and is happy to earn double the money."

"You didn't go home to live anymore. You rented a house near the school. On the fourth floor, you used blue and white checked curtains. There was a potted plant in the window. It was a small orange tree. Unfortunately, I never saw it bear fruit."

Lu Qi led him out of the school and walked back along Mu Zhou's road back to the rental house, "There are a lot of pigeons in this park, you never feed them, you just sit on this chair in a daze. Chair, if someone else is sitting, you stand aside and wait."

"...how do you know?" Mu Zhou stopped.

Lu Qi didn't answer. He just kissed his forehead and held him again. His voice slowed down: "There was a dessert shop here before, but you never bought its desserts, only freshly squeezed honey grapefruit tea. I I also tasted it once and thought it was a bit too sweet."

Lu Qi led him all the way back, Mu Zhou followed his words, and seemed to go back to that year exactly.Standing still downstairs, since Mu Zhou graduated from high school, the house is no longer rented.

He hadn't planned to come back.

"Guess who I am?" Lu Qi looked at him intently,

Mu Zhou stared at him with black glazed eyes, and after a long silence, he sighed and said, "You saved me."

Lu Qi grabbed his wrist and stroked his wrist bone: "I'm sorry."

Mu Zhou smiled, with a glimmer of snow in his eyes: "Why are you sorry?"

"I was about to be sent abroad by my family at that time, so I didn't dare to know you." Lu Qi seemed to want to hug him, but still left a gap for Mu Zhou to struggle out.

"You... When I was in our school, I just packed up and left. I wanted to know you very much, but I was afraid of the long time and the distance across the hemisphere." Lu Qi's breath was right next to his ear, Wen Wen It was hot, and Mu Zhou couldn't help getting closer to him.

"I'm afraid that you will do stupid things after you go back. When your cousin went to visit you, I met him and found out your school from him, so I followed you back."

"But I haven't seen you." Mu Zhou put his head on Lu Qi's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I don't think tracking is very good, I'm afraid you will mind," Lu Qi said, "So when you were in class, I climbed over the wall and stayed on the playground for a while, I just saw your seat over the ping-pong table. Occasionally, I play ball with the boys in gym class to pass the time."

"When you get out of school, I'll follow you and see what you do. I know this looks like a pervert," Lu Qi sighed, "but I couldn't help it. At first I was afraid that you would seek death again, and then I It has become a habit, as if every day is not complete without seeing you sitting on a park bench with a cup of grapefruit tea in a daze.”

Mu Zhou buried his head on his shoulder and smiled sullenly.

Feeling a little wetness on his shoulders, Lu Qi finally tightened his arms and hugged him tightly.

"So you see, you were not clean at all before and after you were alive. The things you want to discard or even avoid are actually all of a voyeur."

"It's not a peeping tom." Mu Zhou said sullenly.

"Oh, what's that?" Lu Qi raised his shoulders.

"I like it, and I allow it."