[Fu Ba] love poem

For my iceberg beauty:

You haven't been back to Paris for two months.

I miss you very much.

But I will not call you back.I read from the newspaper that you merged HS.Come on, you asked for it.

Publishing is the only thing you have access to your dreams.This is a good thing.You should continue.

Don't be distracted.

Doctors were warning me five years ago that I had a tumor in my brain.He told me to stop painting and get surgery.I asked him what would be the consequences of the operation, and he said that the tumor was on the left side and his right hand might be paralyzed.

But if you don't do it, you will die.

It sounds like I'm afraid of death.

Can't help but draw.You have sacrificed so much for my pen.I'm not doing it for anyone, not even for you, because I should be drawing.

The stupid doctor said that if I don't have surgery, it will probably get worse.

I don't think it's a serious illness.Not as big a problem as you are in my heart.

Munakata.

You remember when I painted you at the Seine.

I fell in love with you immediately.You are really good looking.

There is no one better looking than you.From the face to every part of the body, to the soul.

Sometimes I wish I could eat you.

We were all young then.

You like my paintings very much.I also feel very happy.

Munakata.

To tell you the truth, I am really afraid that after the operation, I will become as stupid as those old men, and I will never be able to hold a pen again.

I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid that you will sacrifice half your life in exchange for a useless person.

The life of art is short, you know it and I know it too.If you miss these years, all your efforts will be in vain.The only time I have should not be wasted on the hospital bed, but should be painted for you.

I am willing to dedicate this remaining life to you.

Stay on your favorite canvas.It's all about you.Because there is nothing else in my world.

I am the biggest stain in your life.Ruined all your talents.

Delayed you for 13 years.

During these 13 years, I was tortured by my conscience every day.Tormented by lust.Tormented by lovesickness.

I also hated this world, I closed my pen and retired, but I couldn't dispel my passion for painting.Every moment you live, every moment I live, I want to paint you.

Every moment without seeing you feels like years.

You should have a new life.Leave me, pick up the pen again, and write what you like.

You have no idea how much I love your written words.Like liking all the expressions of you in my arms.

I am a rough person, I can only draw pictures.

We all miss the best time, but also have the best time.

Don't hate the world for being unfair.I have had you, you have had me, the blessing is greater than the sky.

Any guilt for this is self-inflicted.

In the middle of the year, I was given an ultimatum by the doctor here.The level of medical care in France does not seem to be much better than that in Japan, and the doctors are all the same idiots.They said that if I don't have another operation, I will probably die soon.

Will I be afraid?

H company had an accident, I also want to go back, but I can't get on the plane anymore.Cerebral blood vessels can rupture at any time.

I regretted coming to France a bit, but this is where we met.

I would like to die here.

If I let you know my virtue, you will definitely put aside the matter of the two clubs and come back directly, right?

Everyone knows your bird character very well.

So I don't say it.

Writing is gone, no matter how bad it is to publish, how many more things will ruin you?Life is only one life, so I can't afford to pay so much.

You must have owed me in your previous life.

Munakata.

In the past you willfully left me.Now I also want to be self-willed.

In the last days of his life, he painted this unprecedented masterpiece in the painting world.dedicated to you.

Don't cry for me like this.

The days are still long.

I often think, if I hadn't come to France, I wouldn't have known you.Probably you will live a thousand times better than now.

You can write your most rigorous life as you like.

But I can't regret loving you.

Because I only love you.

——Two months ago, Zhou Fang put this letter in Munakata's manuscript box.

With the last painting of his life, perhaps it will be a posthumous work.

This is probably the most and longest thing he has written in his life.It's for Munakata.He felt very unlike himself, but it was fitting.

After thinking about it, he tore up the letter.

Anyway, he's been self-willed all his life.

Where to go next, Lyon, Nice, Cannes.Glass, Colmar, Gold.

It doesn't matter where you go.

Just disappear without a sound.

He remembered what Munakata said many years ago, "Your Excellency is like a big cat."

Do you look like a big cat?He thinks Munakata is.

Now he felt that what Munakata said was right, when the cat was about to die, it would sneak away by itself.Probably because they didn't want to make the person who raised them feel sad.

Born with the wind, die with the wind, so romantic.

It was the rude and disorderly way that Munakata hated most.

But he still loves such a rough and disorderly self.

Two months later, Fushimi and Izumo, who accompanied Munakata, watched in silence as Munakata opened the manuscript box and saw a key and an address.

They searched the house and found the empty medicine bottle and the torn letter in the toilet bin.

Munakata fought all night.It's like putting together a puzzle he likes in the past.Everyone was very afraid that he would do something at night, but there was nothing, not even tears or grief.

He finished reading the letter and tore it up again.

The next day, they found the locked warehouse according to the address, which was filled with never-before-seen paintings.

So beautiful it's breathtaking.

It's not like what Zhou Fang said, all the paintings are Munakata's face, and some paintings can't tell what is painted at all.Perhaps that is something only Munakata can understand.

The few paintings at the door were probably the last ones to be hung up. The brush strokes are trembling and messy, but they still carry the heat of burning.It is filled with strokes and colors, as if it will be burned at any time if it is not put in the freezer.

Munakata took off his glasses and re-locked the Kudoor.

He remained calm and did not interrupt any work.He moved the office to Zhou Fang's intensive care unit, and hung Zhou Fang's "Sirius" on the wall opposite the hospital bed.

Awashima arranged a new delivery schedule for the authors of agency S, and they took turns going to the ward to review manuscripts according to the date.

The doctor said that the patient's consciousness might be awakened by the stimulation of the sound, and if he talked with him more, there might be a slim hope that Zhou Fang could wake up.

Munakata is not a sensational person, and he doesn't have much to say to the half-dead Zhou Fang.After all, talking to yourself is also very stupid, if Zhou Fang knows, he will die laughing.

So he called the writer to the ward according to the usual practice, and scolded him while being critical.

In fact, he was very absent-minded, even Daoming Si, who was the most nervous, noticed that the head of the room didn't concentrate on reading the manuscript at all, and spent most of the time just reading from the script.

His voice is very nice.

There is a kind of indescribable tranquility and gentleness.

Often read all day long.

No one bothered to interrupt him.No one had the heart to interrupt him.

I was really afraid that he would also fall down in such a trance state.But not letting him read is even more cruel.

Hatta insisted on showing the manuscript to Munakata, and every time he went, he came back with a sad face.Fushimi couldn't stand it anymore, so he could only go with him.When he was there, at least Hatta would not be so gloomy.

It doesn't make much sense to come, Munakata is not willing to read their manuscripts, so he just glanced at them and said yes.At the beginning, the two young writers felt a little wronged, but because the other party was in a bad mood after all, they should understand and support whatever choice they made.

It was Munakata who noticed their grievances.

"You guys have written very well, why I don't want to read it, it's ridiculous...Zhou Fang said at the beginning that the co-author of the two of you has the shadow of me back then."

"It now appears that it does."

Nothing to do with the sequel's manuscript.As long as you see it, you will feel indescribable torture.I just read other manuscripts. This kind of new work is like pushing the old man to look back at the past.

Every sentence reveals completeness and happiness, but that is already someone else's happiness.His past has been buried in dust and sand.

Cutting a heart like a blade.

Fushimi and Hatta overheard Munakata reading his own manuscript.It is a work of "Sirius" that has not been republished in the past.

It does look like, really looks like.From the point of view of writing and writing, there are extremely similar places, even they themselves were taken aback.But if I continue to listen, I feel that there are many differences in emotion and connotation.

Probably the difference between Venus and Pandora.

Holding the box of hope in her arms, Pandora survived in the world with flesh and blood.

Venus lost her arms to embrace her lover forever.

Every day is tough.He was afraid that Zhou Fang's heart would stop beating, and Zongxiang would collapse if he failed.

Under such circumstances, the authors are no longer slack and perfunctory, and everyone has become a harsh reviewer. Every time before submitting a manuscript, they disassemble their manuscripts and repeatedly delete and revise them.

There is no longer any reason for Munakata to spend any effort on the trivial matter of reviewing manuscripts.

Without the supervision of Munakata, the United Publishing House produced excellent works instead.Not only the works of Fushimi and Hatta remain bestsellers, but other authors are also competing on the sales charts.The list was almost slaughtered by the United Press.

Izumo looked at the latest sales statistics, not knowing whether to be happy or sad.

He also postponed his marriage with Awashima, or put it on hold temporarily.He alone took care of the publishing work of the two clubs, and he was too busy.

Awashima expressed his understanding.

"When President Zhou Fang wakes up, we will post to him."

Awashima said.

Izumo gritted his teeth and nodded.

Zhou Fang, that bastard, would fucking throw the pot away.It is tolerable or unbearable to delay other important events in his life now.He wanted to wait for Zhou Fang to wake up, and he must beat him up to relieve his hatred.

Just wake up soon.

Just like everyone in the United Press is looking forward to Zhou Fang waking up.Residents of the entire city have long been tired of the endless winter.Everyone is looking up to see if the treetops are sprouting and whether the swallows are returning to the north.

I hope that spring will come back one day sooner.

tbc.