What is your choice? ?

You have selected [C. Tell Director Jiang that you decided to perform the masturbation part]

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"Are you nervous?" You heard someone ask you, it was a magnetic, rather neutral female voice.

You raised your eyelids, and the corners of your lips tightened meticulously.

"No." Your voice is rough, like a piece of rusted iron, "I have played this role before, and there will be no mistakes."

The woman holding the liquid blush in front of her smiles lightly, and there is a trace of inquiry in the soft Danfeng eyes that upsets you.You thought she would pry into your emotions with words as usual, but she didn't say a word, unscrewed the blush liquid, used the soft brush inside to dab on your slightly parted lips, and then used The lip brush spread the thin liquid blush.

After she wiped the blush evenly, you pursed your lips with a strange expression: "Every time I see you wipe my mouth with cheek paint, I feel weird..."

"Spoof, that's how straight you are!" She pretended to be angry and gave you a look, but it was as limp as cotton, which made people smile, "I think you wouldn't treat me like this when we first met. say."

You know that you should smile back at her and ease the atmosphere by the way, but you can't bend the corners of your lips no matter what.

"...I'm not gay," you muttered softly, with a difficult tone, "why..."

"...Why do you and they always think so?"

As she put the golden brown wig on your head, she asked what you said just now——you realized that your voice was too low, so soft that even people within half a meter away from you couldn’t hear you clearly .But at this time, you can no longer have the desire to talk, so you can only swallow the bitterness in your throat.

You tell yourself what they think is none of your business and that you just need to move on.

Yes, you now have a reason to move forward, you just need to focus on the script.

You have acting.

...and only acting.

The wig is the last step, the makeup on your face is done, and the costume on your body is put on long before makeup.You took a deep breath, skimmed through the script again, then lifted your skirt and walked to the dressing room.When you were about to leave the room, your footsteps paused slightly, and then you turned around and bowed suddenly to the woman a few meters away.

Your head is buried very low, your nose is about to touch the hem of the skirt with the pannier, but you are willing, more sincere than any time you have bowed your knees before.

"Thank you, Sister Li." After a while, you raised your head and looked at her with burning eyes, but your gaze penetrated her body, this thin wall, and everything that exists here. ——As if looking at the other end of the dream affectionately and sadly, there is the purgatory where hymns and prayers are played.

"If I can really be selected by Director Jiang this time..." You can't help but tremble in your throat when you say this, "I will spend my whole life acting."

You know that what you said is insincere, because no matter whether Sister Li recommends you to Director Jiang or not, you will still act for the rest of your life in the end.You didn't choose acting, acting chose you.But you know Sister Li's sad past and what she wants to hear most in her heart, so you told a white lie without thinking too much.

Sure enough, after a moment of stupefaction, sister Li suddenly had a look of water in her eyes.You watched her frown, and the wrinkles that were tightly covered by the base makeup couldn't be covered in an instant, but she didn't care about her image, and her whole body was shaking with excitement.

She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again, as if she had a thousand words but didn't know where they came from, so she had to turn into a long sigh.

"You're so lucky, so lucky..." Sister Li shook her head, with a wry smile of jealousy or joy, "Why don't I want to appear in front of the world as an actor? But I have no talent, Even if I become a woman, I can't change this..."

Speaking of this, Sister Li's voice suddenly stopped.Her eyes widened and she stared at you blankly, as if she was asking why it wasn't herself who was wearing a skirt and putting on makeup and was about to audition in front of the director.At that moment, she was no longer a well-known makeup artist in the industry, but an ordinary dream chaser who was approaching forty.

——An old woman who failed to chase her dreams and wandered between gender boundaries.

You were pierced by her resentful eyes, and then suddenly realized.You finally understand why when you first met Sister Li, you couldn't get too close in your heart.Even after you get to know each other, there is still a subtle gap between the two of you.

That divide is called jealousy—resentment at one's own inability to do anything, and self-pity for one's situation.

She sees you as herself, and goes out of her way to introduce you to the director of a famous theater company.But at the same time, she is jealous of your obedience, and secretly hopes that you will stumble, end up covered in mud and scars like her, and finally become a mediocre person obediently.

These two completely different emotions tore her rationality, and finally turned into an extremely gentle but extremely heavy kindness, as if if you were willing to gently peel off that layer of white and flawless silk, you would be able to see the beauty wrapped in it. The corpse was dismembered, the blood soaked the inner layer of the silk red, but the front was still dazzlingly white.

You felt that the blood was permeating rapidly and would leak out at any moment, so you glanced away hastily, and pulled the door shut in embarrassment.

You make your way down the hallway and somehow end up in a room.

"Your name?" someone asks you.

You answered him calmly, but your ears seemed to be soaked in water, and you couldn't hear any words clearly.

"I like your acting skills very much. It has a ostentatious beauty and a tension that can collapse at any time." He poked the notebook twice with a pen, as if he wanted to make up for his overly calm tone with exaggerated movements.

You took advantage of the moment when he lowered his head to wipe the sweat off his neck, but ignored the makeup on his face blurred by tears.Your brain paused for a moment, like a computer stuck, but it returned to its original state within a second.

This kind of evaluation is probably passed, you thought to yourself, with mixed feelings in your heart.If Director Jiang hadn't asked you to play Juliet today, you would never have chosen to play this role, because whenever you think of this play, you will think of...

"But that doesn't mean I appreciate this kind of acting."

You suddenly froze in place as if you had been splashed with a bucket of cold water, and your originally rushing thoughts were cut off by this sentence.

Director Jiang rubbed his eyebrows, frowned and took off the reading glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"My son Yiran watched the drama club's performance, and it was he who begged me to watch your performance." He added, "Of course, Xiaoli's recommendation made it even more difficult for me to refuse. "

You look at the emotion in his eyes, the original excitement gradually freezes in an instant, and your mind becomes numb.

Director Jiang sighed and remained silent for a while before opening his mouth.

"But I don't want to give up a piece of rough jade." He paused, then looked up at you with a messy face and an expressionless face.

"Let me ask you." His expression was suddenly solemn, "What is acting? What kind of actor do you want to be?"

You looked at him, the muscles on your face didn't move a bit, but your body trembled uncontrollably.The moment he finished speaking, a strange sense of respect and fear suddenly surged in your heart. This radical feeling made your scalp tingle and goosebumps sprang up.

Your throat shrank hard, and you were supposed to be speechless, but you let out a sound without anyone noticing it.

"I walked forward but there was darkness ahead, until one day I saw the only mountain in the darkness. I didn't know what to expect after I crossed the mountain, but I wanted to reach the summit first."

When you said this, you shook your head, but your tone became firmer.

"No, not wanting... I'm going to reach the top one day."

Director Jiang's eyes froze slightly, and he showed a playful smile: "There are tens of thousands of talented actors in the world, no matter how talented an actor is, he can't boast that he can reach the top, so it's hard for you not to be ashamed of what you said ?”

You shook your head again, a stern smile appeared on your face.At this moment, the smog in reality seems to have long gone. You are an actor chasing your dreams, and you live in a utopia of art and poetic compilation.

"If I didn't have this self-confidence, then I would have rolled down the mountain in despair."

"I'm an actor—I'm going to die when I'm at the top."

You open your eyes, and what you see is pitch black.

You stared blankly at the dark ceiling, allowing the water stains on your face to dry and harden a little bit, and stiffen on your cheeks.

You feel as if you had a very long dream, but you only remember a few sporadic fragments - the woman you called Sister Li and the director Jiang who was talking to you.The moment you wake up from the dream, you subconsciously want to see it as a lucid dream as usual.But when fresh tears flow out of your eyes and gradually cover the dried tears, you realize one thing—this is your emotion, not others.

You feel sad, and a simple dream can never carry this level of grief and desperation.

Regardless of whether the usual lucid dream is your imagination or memory, at least what happened in this dream can arouse your strong resonance, and it has really existed.

You're an actor...or were an actor.

You woke up around three o'clock in the morning, and since then you have been unable to fall asleep, and simply read the script quietly.

Last night you impulsively told Director Jiang that you chose to perform the masturbation scene, but you didn't get any response.At that time, Director Jiang's expression was very calm and even a little suspicious, and told you to do what you can.At that time, you felt depressed and aggrieved by Director Jiang's distrust, but after you finished this dream, you thought about it.

You are not as serious about acting as one tenth of yourself in the past. With such a little determination and understanding, how can you boast so much that you can successfully perform such a complicated plot?

You stop thinking about it, and decide to concentrate on studying the script and trying to figure out the character's heart.

By the time you wake up, it's daylight.You suddenly glanced at the clock on the wall, only to find that it was past nine o'clock in the morning.You are amazed, because this is the first time you forget about time and everything around you, and really immerse yourself in the world of the script.You even have a strange premonition that your understanding of the character is much deeper than yesterday.

But you don't have time to reflect on the change of your mentality carefully, wash and change clothes in a hurry, and tidy yourself up before Lily arrives.

As soon as you stepped out of the room, Lily rang the doorbell.It was less than half a minute before the doorbell rang and the door opened, but Lily still frowned, as if she had been left out for hours.He raised his eyebrows and snorted softly, then pushed you away who was blocking the doorway with his thin shoulders, and walked straight in.

Since you declined Lily's "kindness" and told him that you wanted to handle the relationship with Mr. Yu by yourself, Lily's attitude towards you has been lukewarm.You thought that this stiff atmosphere would get better with the passage of time, but you didn't expect the situation to get worse, and his attitude towards you changed from indifference to outright disgust.

At first you felt a little overwhelmed, but after going through the small black room, you began to disdain his petty malice.You understand that no matter how much the other party hates you, he can't really hurt you—after all, he was hired by Director Jiang. As long as you don't take the initiative to step into the trap set by him, then he will take Director Jiang's existence into consideration, and he will not will do substantial harm to you.You have already planned to treat him as air, as long as he helps you complete your daily makeup, it doesn't matter how bad his attitude is.

But maybe because the dream you had last night was so impressive to you, you actually subconsciously associated Sister Li and Lily in the dream together.

You feel that your thoughts are ridiculous. After all, although the sister Li in the dream is a bit weird and jealous of you, she introduced the director for you. She is essentially a woman, and her gentle image is completely different from the firecracker-like Lily. .

These two are polar opposites - how do you associate them together?

You put this weird thought behind you, and continued to let Lily smear your face without saying a word.

Leave your lips untouched until your entire face is left untouched.

You looked at Lily with a stinky face, and picked up the liquid blush you just used, and your heart stopped suddenly. Lily lowered her head and unscrewed the soft brush in the liquid blush, and tapped your lips a few times with a gesture that made you familiar to panic.

Three dots on the upper lip and three dots on the upper lip—exactly the same as that of Sister Mengli.

You saw him putting the liquid blush aside, then picked up the lip brush on the table, and spread the liquid blush on your two lips.Suddenly, you have an illusion that you are trapped in a dream.

The liquid blush was applied evenly in no time, and Lily put away the tools, seeing that she would definitely not initiate a conversation with you.

At this point, you decide—

【A. Say nothing】

【B. Ask him if he intends to change his gender】

【C. Ask him if he is interested in acting】

【D. Ask him why he used liquid blush instead of lipstick】