How to Build a Haunted House

On a new Nordic oak dining table.

The marble countertop is smooth and clean, with peppercorns, peppers, star anise, cinnamon, cloves... and a shivering weasel placed on it.

Chu Ci sat in the middle of the dining table, knocked on the table with a shovel: "Speak."

Huang San'er: "..."

It looked at the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather who was wearing a chef uniform, an apron around his waist, and a tall hat, and said aggrievedly, "We have to start from the beginning."

"That was about four months ago..."

……

Huang San'er was picked up by Yang Mingjian from the stinky ditch behind the school on a rainy day at the end of May.

At that time, it was drenched in dirty water, its tail was twitched, its face was disheveled, and it looked very embarrassed, like a dog in the water.

Yang Mingjian rode his bicycle through the stinking ditch, and suddenly saw a weak, pitiful and helpless animal lying in the middle of the rain, shivering from the cold. He squeezed the brakes with a "squeak."

This is the beginning of an idol drama, but the development is not like that of an idol drama.

Huang San'er patted the water with his tail "ba da, da da" and scolded: "Stinky Taoist priest, do you think you are great? If it weren't for Grandpa Huang, I don't know what was wronged when I went to learn beauty techniques last month." The beating was so distracting, I just went like this, like this, again like this... a left hook, a right hook, and a sweeping leg beat you to the ground, chewing mud, hiss..."

The "cracking" rain covered its muttering to itself. Suddenly, Grandpa Huang felt a pain in his tail, and then his body was suspended in the air, and he was picked upside down.

It tried its best to bend its neck, and Mung Bean looked back, and saw a young man dressed in rags and dyed hair, he looked like a street gangster.

The young man looked at Grandpa Huang up and down with the eyes of appraising a piece of dead meat: "What the hell, I thought there was dog meat tonight, but it turned out not, scoff."

"Waste of emotion!" He threw the weasel back casually, "Forget it, throw it away, who knows if there are any messy bacteria on it."

With that said, Yang Mingjian stepped onto the bicycle and kicked hard...

"what?"

"Crash-"

A khaki whirlwind appeared out of nowhere, and icy raindrops rolled over from behind. It slapped Yang Mingjian's face hard, making his nose sore and goosebumps all over his body.

"Who?!" Huang San'er's dark and furious voice was mixed with rain, and it fell into Yang Mingjian's ears: "Which bastard without eyes dares to throw Grandpa Huang at me? And say that Grandpa Huang is in a mess? If he can't clean up the dead Taoist grandpa, he still cleans up." Miss you?!"

As he said, the new enmity added to the old hatred, the grievance of being driven to the urban-rural fringe by the stinky Taoist priests, the panic of not being able to return to the body, and the anger of being thrown out by non-mainstream youth after finally returning to the body, let Huang San'er's soul stretched its tail, hooked Yang Mingjian's neck tightly, and lifted the tip of its tail upward——

"puff!"

A khaki stench enveloped the alley.

With a sound of "dong", Yang Mingjian fell down together with the weasel's body in the stinky ditch without saying a word, and marinated for a full two hours.

……

"In this way, I became his own grandfather." Huang San'er concluded proudly.

Chu Ci: "..."

To be precise, it was Yang Mingjian who saw the power of Huang Daxian. These two bad guys didn't know each other if they didn't fight.

Yang Mingjian voluntarily invited the remnant soul of Huang Daxian to prevent it from being chased and killed, and brought Grandpa Huang's body home, and packed it in a broken cardboard box, while Huang San'er...

"Hey, this kid is so poor that he can't even find a box of instant noodles at home that hasn't expired. I just stole a wallet from a street hooligan for him, and he worships Grandpa Huang so much that I'm dying. If you want to live, cry and beg me to help him steal other people's good luck and become a master."

"You agreed?" Chu Ci asked.

"Then how can you not agree?" Huang San'er cocked his tail triumphantly: "After all, this kind of idiot comes once in a thousand years, and Grandpa Huang, I still need someone to help put his soul back into his body. Wouldn't it be just right to have one more brother?"

"Grandpa Huang thought about it. There is no such a high-level urban-rural fringe. You should look for it in the big cities."

"So you came to Chuhua City?" Chu Ci poked the weasel: "I'm curious about it. I can understand why you Huang Daxian stole a chicken. After all, racial talent can really steal luck. Invisible and intangible things like rankings and grades? How do you do it?"

"How is it possible?" Facing the boss's gaze as if he was about to dissect him seriously, Huang San'er trembled, and said in unison with his uncle Zeng-Zeng-Zeng-Zeng-Grandpa next to him.

"Then how could Yang Mingjian get into Chuhua University?"

After Yang Shao's family brought Yang Mingjian back to the Yang family for house arrest yesterday, they asked someone to check his ins and outs carefully. The next day, Yang Shao called Chu Ci to inform him that Yang Mingjian was originally from the county seat. The little hooligan in the village dropped out of school in the first year of high school, but in the third year of high school, he not only went to take the college entrance examination, but also got in the top ten in the county. Even the teachers who taught him didn't believe it.There were rumors in the small county that Yang Mingjian was bragging with his classmates when he was drunk, claiming that he knew the spell of changing fate against the sky, and this achievement was borrowed from a good student.

"What's the use of him, their hard work for 12 years? Is it amazing to be able to do the questions? Is it amazing to be able to write the papers? Because I study well, I dare to look down on me and look down on others. The result is that I failed the college entrance examination and went back to repeat..."

The classmate who drank with him secretly recorded Yang Mingjian's bragging.

He laughed, slapped the table and said, "Oh, it's still useful, at least their grades helped me get admitted to Chuhua University, 985, 211, hahahahahahahahaha!"

"Those teachers at school who look down on people... said that I am not motivated and do not study well. In the future, my classmates will have a good future. I can only regret that I didn't study hard. Let them see my achievements now! Blind their dog eyes! "

"There are also those losers who talk sourly, questioning me, saying that I can't get such a result in the test, and they are going to the Education Bureau to sue me?!"

"They're going to sue if they're capable?" Yang Mingjian said arrogantly, "What's the point of hiding behind? If I can find out, I'll be the loser. I'll call them grandpas!"

"I am not only the first in the exam this time, as long as... as long as there is... in the exam, I will be the first in the exam every time in the future. I will be rich and rich! , People who look down on me, they can only work for me, as a stepping stone for me, all the results of their hard work will become mine, but they will never know what their failure is for... Hahahaha..."

"..."

Chu Ci played the recording sent by Yang Shao to Huang San'er, and everyone in the room except Huang San'er was disgusted by this shameless energy.

Huang San'er listened, cold sweat was about to come down, he wiped his forehead with his tail, and scolded angrily: "Yang Mingjian, a trash who can't stick to the wall, said to keep a low profile, he drank two mouthfuls of cat urine and even Grandpa Huang's words Don’t even listen! Grandpa Huang went back and beat you to death!”

"Why, you weren't there that day?"

"Am I going to let this kid brag about it so shamelessly?" Huang San'er quickly clarified for herself: "I didn't just want to buy a luxury bag to wrap my noble body and go to the local underworld. Did everyone steal the safe?"

"Stole it?"

"Stole it!"

Looking at the weasel with its head held high and its chest proud, Chu Ci thought of that Balenciaga family with a very rustic Chinese style.

"..."

"Then do you still want to say that you have contributed to the eradication of crime?" Chu Ci tapped the spatula on the table: "Don't change the subject, talk! What's the matter with the grades? Who did you steal?" Return it to me immediately!"

"How can there be..." Huang San'er sighed seeing that it was impossible to change the subject.It fiddled with its tail with its paws, and said bleakly, "Don't you know my current situation? My soul is disabled, and I only have a little monster energy left, and I can steal a wallet... Don't mention the mysterious things like luck Yeah, stealing a safe is enough for me to lie down for three days."

"Then Yang Mingjian's college entrance examination results?"

"I took the test for him!" Huang San'er got angry when he mentioned this: "That kid has a lot of requirements, he can't score less than 600, and he also needs to be in the top [-] in the county in every subject. See what kind of guy you are! Grandpa Huang turns into a ghost for a while and runs to peep at other people's answers, and for a while he attaches himself to answering questions, and has to judge which answer has been chosen the most and is the correct answer. You're bald! You're exhausted like a weasel!"

"This is the college entrance examination that cheats the wolf!" It couldn't help but complain.

"Then you still copy?" Chu Ci, as a person who studied hard for the exam, had no sympathy for what it did, and hit Huang San'er's paw with a shovel.

"Then what can I do?" Huang San'er held his small short claws and "hissed" and gasped: "Otherwise, if he wants to score 26 points for his incomplete 600 letters, I can only steal the answer sheet." , Hacked the computer of the Admissions Office... The key point is that we don’t know how to type codes?”

Chu Ci: "...I think the admissions office should have wiped you out when they wiped out the four pests."

Huang San'er chuckled, taking it as a compliment from the boss.

"In short, after some careful arrangements, Grandpa Huang successfully deceived that idiot Yang Mingjian into thinking that I could steal everything, including college entrance examination scores, notices, wallets, luxury goods...all of them are stolen! Grandpa Huang's Day Performing hard day after day has finally fed the idiot's appetite, making him ready to attack the powerful classmate Yang!"

This time, what he wanted to steal was Yang Shao's fate.

"Why did he ask him to bring it up by himself?" Chu Ci was puzzled.

Shen Yan replied: "Because the possessed Huang Daxian cannot take the initiative to harm the host, unless the host is voluntary."

"Bingo!" Huang San'er snapped his fingers with the tips of his two claws stylishly.

"Harm the host?" What Chu Ci thinks is that Huang San'er used her own evil spirit to make up Yang Mingjian's appearance, and it is still a classic style of Internet celebrity.

"It's not a danger, is it?"

Aesthetic anomalies at best?

Shen Yan smiled, thinking that the little fiancé was really innocent and cute.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Grandpa Huang, who was lying among the star anise, cinnamon, pepper, and peppercorns, was also snickering, feeling a little unhappy, and a small cluster of orange-red sparks ignited on his fingertips.

"Don't, don't, don't!" Huang San'er is a cunning weasel, and when he saw the Yang fire at Mr. Shen's fingertips, he immediately hugged his tail and kowtowed for mercy: "Let me talk, talk! Don't touch me!"

Under the eyes of Grandpa Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng Zeng's tail didn't turn up and its mouth didn't slack anymore, and said honestly: "Because if Yang Mingjian wants to change his life, I can just kick him." , looking for the rich second generation as the new host."

It lay on its stomach honestly, and rarely said a philosophical sentence: "Whether rich or poor, lucky or unlucky, everyone's past itself is a part of fate, so I am also a part of Yang Mingjian's fate. When he decided to exchange fate with Yang Shao At that time, you are doomed to lose my help, and of course you will be cheated by me until you have nothing left."

"That's called... if you abandon your fate, fate will abandon you too." Huang San'er sighed, Chu Ci was thoughtful.

"Or if the mouse spirit steals the chicken, Grandpa Huang will be behind!"

Chu Ci: "..."

He felt that Huang San'er's metaphor was quite vivid. After all, Yang Mingjian's insatiable appearance was like a big mouse that stole oil and didn't have enough?

"So you tricked Yang Mingjian and Yang Shao into haunted house No. 488..." Chu Ci mused, "If we don't arrive in time, how are you going to get Yang Shao to agree to be your host?"

Huang San'er coughed lightly, and said in a low voice: "Isn't this... telling the rich second generation that someone wants to harm him, and the only way to get back their identities is to believe in Grandpa Huang? Most people will agree."

And Yang Shao...

"Hiss." Huang San'er stroked her tail with sympathy—

This kid is definitely not an ordinary person. Not only does he not eat oil and salt, he actually beats the life-saving wolf. A pinch of his tail hair was pulled off, it hurts, and he is still clucking. Threats made into a dish...

If Yang Shao's bloodline hadn't been confirmed before, Huang San'er would have wondered if the rich second generation had become a rotten tofu, and it would be infected wherever he went, what a bad luck!

"Okay, I don't blame Yang Shao, who told you to fish and enforce the law? It's your own fault."

Chu Ci finally figured out the cause and effect, and Huang San'er's confession can also be matched with Yang Shao's, so it shouldn't be a lie.He leaned back on the chair, thought for a while under Huang San'er's trembling gaze, and threw out a lure to attract wolves.

"Huang San'er..."

"Ok?"

"Isn't the reason why you put so much effort into becoming Yang Shao's grandfather just to cure your soul problem?"

Huang San'er poked her head vigorously.

"Well," Chu Ci thought for a while, "As long as you are obedient, I can help you mend your soul."

The author has something to say:

Suddenly found that it can be updated. I thought I would have to wait until tomorrow 233. I haven’t written for a long time. My hand speed is slow. Try to recover~