Absinthe

Zhong Xiu looked at him quietly without speaking.

Hao Ai repeated again: "Let's break up."

"No." Zhong Xiu refused.

He didn't ask why, he could probably guess a little why.

"Two people need to agree to fall in love, but not to break up." Hao Ai said.

"If you think I'm doing something wrong, I can change it," Zhong Xiu said, "but don't talk about breaking up, okay?"

"It's not your fault," Hao Ai said in a weak tone, "It's my own fault. I feel a little tired."

Zhong Xiu was silent for a long time, and then said: "Then you should take a rest, and wait until you think it over." His voice was a little hoarse.

The chemistry lab is locked.

The two were standing in the corridor outside.

Hao Ai's voice was very low, "I think you seem to have given a lot to me, your time, energy, life planning, and family. You and your mother are very stiff because of this incident. I... I am not equal. what did I give you?"

"But love is not an exchange of equal value. It's meaningless to worry about it. I don't think you paid less than me, and," Zhong Xiu said sullenly, "and, no matter how much you pay, you are willing."

Hao Ai was stunned for a few seconds, and continued: "I am not suitable for dating, nor is it a good romantic partner. You can find someone else you like, and don't waste time on me, it's not worth it."

"You are worth it, you have always been worth it, don't say that about yourself." Zhong Xiu breathed a sigh of relief, and continued, "Are you... a little impulsive now, why don't you go back and think about it carefully, and then make a decision after careful consideration?"

Hao Ai shook his head, "I've made up my mind."

Hao Ai has been thinking about it for many days. He has been thinking about it these days. He will think about it when he sees Zhong Xiu, and he will think about it when he cannot see it.

Ever since Yang Yingqiong said those words to him, there have been two villains fighting in his mind, one is saying: Break up, if this continues, it will only hurt him, and the other is saying: Don't break up, you don't want to break up .

The villain who said to break up had the upper hand from the beginning, but Hao Ai hesitated for a long time and didn't want to speak.

"You don't want to break up, do you?" Zhong Xiu asked.

"No! I want to break up. I've thought about it for a long time, but I still don't know how to say it. I think I might not like you that much." Hao Ai finally said.

Hao Ai turned around and left without caring about the people behind him. He didn't dare to turn his head and ran back to the classroom in one breath.

When he returned to the class, he had already adjusted his mood.He walked to his place and saw the flyer of the winter vacation remedial class on the table, which seemed to be mixed with several other flyers.

Hao Ai was upset when he saw it. He picked up the pile of leaflets and was about to throw them into the trash can when Lu Fayan hurriedly stopped him: "Don't throw them away yet."

"What's wrong?" Hao Ai asked.

Lu Fayan said, "Check if there is a leaflet for TOEFL and IELTS inside? It's red."

"This one?" Hao Ai sat down and picked out the red leaflet he was talking about.

"Well, you were not at work just now, Wei Jiyang came to look for you, and he put the flyer on your desk." Lu Fayan asked again: "Do you know him?"

"I don't know." Hao Ai replied blankly, and then tore the leaflet into pieces.

"Just pretend, even if he's here to distribute leaflets, he won't be the only one to distribute leaflets to you. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"This remedial class isn't run by his family, right? Why is he handing out leaflets..."

"You actually know him. I haven't heard you say it. Hey, how did you two know each other?"

"That day when Zhong Xiu came to see you and saw this flyer, we both thought you were going abroad..."

Lu Fayan was still talking.

Hao Ai's mind buzzed, he stood up almost mechanically, pulled the stool away, and then left the classroom, he heard Lu Fayan ask him where he was going.

He's going to find Zhong Xiu and tell him clearly that I don't want to go abroad, so don't disrupt your life plan because of me.

I have to go to Wei Jiyang and fight with him, so that he will stop meddling in his own business.

But when he reached the stairs, Hao Ai stopped again.

Before the bell for the self-study class ended, the corridors and corridors were empty.He leaned against the wall of the corridor, raised his face, and covered his eyes with one hand.

Forget it, he thought, there's no need.

*

Zhong Xiu didn't come to Hao Ai again, as if he was really giving him time to make a decision.

As the end of the term was approaching, everyone was very busy, including Hao Ai. He had almost no time to think about other things, and devoted all his energy to reviewing.After several quizzes, the final exam is finally ushered in, and then the winter vacation.

After the last test, Hao Ai went back to the dormitory to pack his luggage. He sent a message to Zhong Xiu, asking if he had time to meet.

Zhong Xiu said he didn't have time, he was at the airport now, and he was going to his grandpa's house for the winter vacation this year.

So Hao Ai had no choice but to give up. Not only did he not feel depressed, but he was also slightly grateful.

On the second day of the new year, Hao Ai sent a message to Zhong Xiu: Are you going back to Zheng Chuan before school starts?It's time to come out and meet.

Zhong Xiu: Back, wait until the weather gets warmer.

Hao Ai: All right.

He looked at the chat interface and thought, Zheng Chuan's winter has never been warm, I see how long you can wait.

Hao Ai is still celebrating the New Year at his uncle's house this year. He is the kind of person who is easy to be happy, but this year he has a dull life and can't be happy at all.

On the third day of the Lunar New Year, Hao Ai went out for a visit. He was bored at home for too long, so he went out for a stroll.During Chinese New Year, the streets are very depressed, and many shops are closed.He passed the billiard hall, passed familiar alleys, corners, and streets.

When passing by the street outside the billiard hall, he suddenly thought of last winter, where Zhong Xiu kissed him forcefully, and it seemed that he and Zhong Xiu had just been together at this time last year.

It has been a year in the blink of an eye.

It turned out to be only one year.

At that time, he was always running away. He never thought that he would be the one to run away first.

He really sucks.

Standing on this street, Hao Ai was full of thoughts about the past.He hadn't seen Zhong Xiu lose his temper very much. In front of him, Zhong Xiu seemed to be gentle and patient all the time.

But I remember last year outside the billiards hall, when Zhong Xiu kissed him forcefully, Zhong Xiu seemed very angry, with repressed anger in his eyes, Hao Ai had only seen him like that once.

Hao Ai suddenly wondered if he would see a pair of angry eyes again if he mentioned breaking up again.

On the tenth day of the Lunar New Year, the third year of high school started early, and as soon as the notice was issued, the students complained in the class.Lao Zhang said: "You can be content, the school will start on the sixth day of the provincial experiment."

Hao Ai closed the group chat, and then sent a message to Zhong Xiu: Did you see that school starts early, when will you be back?

This time Zhong Xiu replied quickly: See you on the ninth day of the lunar new year, and you will decide on the location.

Hao Ai: Okay, let’s meet inside Wanda, it’s too cold outside.

It was windy on the ninth day of the ninth day, and Hao Ai wore thick clothes when he went out, including a scarf and a woolen cap.

When he arrived at the appointed place, Zhong Xiu was already waiting for him outside the side door of Wanda Plaza, neither of them had any intention of going in.

This time it was Zhong Xiu who spoke first: "I have thought about it for the past few days, and I need to explain something clearly to you."

"You said before that I was too kind to you, but in fact, what I want to be kind to you in my heart is much more than what I show."

"Maybe because I treat you well, you feel moved and want to reciprocate, so you agree to be with me. If this is the case, I have indeed brought you pressure and..." Zhong Xiu paused, and said: "The burden .”

"No." Hao Ai said in a low voice.

"I took the initiative to confess, took the initiative to chase you, and forced you to make a decision, but I didn't consider your feelings. It's my problem. I'm sorry."

That's not the case, Hao Ai's Adam's apple twitched and wanted to speak, but he didn't say anything in the end.

"It's not that you disrupted my life plan. Life plan is really uncertain, but my life can only be decided by myself, and it has nothing to do with others," Zhong Xiu continued, "You don't have to feel guilty about it, this is not your fault."

"Let's say something very bastard." Zhong Xiu pulled the corner of his mouth, casually, but the words he said were cruel, "The main purpose of my relationship with you is to confront my mother. She doesn't want me to do anything. I more to do.”

Look, don't think so well of me, I'm very bad, so don't feel guilty for breaking up first.

Hao Ai was stunned.

"Thinking about it now, maybe..." This time the bell paused longer than before, as if he had made a great determination: "I don't like you that much either, so we're even."

Is that right?

Before Hao Ai could react, Zhong Xiu quickly changed the subject again: "I don't have the initiative in this relationship. You are always at the helm. You can get off the ship at any time if you don't want to continue. Just like you said before, Falling in love requires the consent of two people, but breaking up does not.”

He laughed at himself, and said, "I've been procrastinating and refusing to see you for the past few days. It's my fault. I was so shameless when I was chasing you, and now I'm trying to lose face again. I know, it's just a relationship. You should It’s right to be able to take it and let it go.”

"I said so much, not to keep you, I am very happy with you, but I may...do a lot of things wrong, if I make you unhappy, even if you say break up, I will not complain. "

Zhong Xiu finished speaking.Hao Ai kept his head down and didn't give him any response.

"Hao Ai," Zhong Xiu said in a calm tone, "are you crying?"

"No." Hao Ai raised his head, he really didn't cry, his eyes didn't feel wet at all, instead they were dry.

Hao Ai stared at Zhong Xiu for a while, through the coldness on the surface, he still felt the remaining tenderness.

"Let's break up then." Hao Ai said.

Zhong Xiu lowered his eyelashes and waited until his mood was calm enough before saying, "Okay."

The two fell silent again, as if they were waiting for the other to speak first.

"I wish you the best offer." Hao Ai said suddenly.

"A parting message?" Zhong Xiu said with a light smile, "Why do you even break up with such a sense of ceremony?"

Zhong Xiu raised his arm, Hao Ai was very familiar with this movement, every time Zhong Xiu wanted to touch his head, he would do this.But as soon as his hand was raised, it dropped again.

Hao Ai lowered his head, looked at his hands, and said in a daze, "I wish you a bright future."

Zhong Xiu said lightly: "I wish you too."

He seemed to be the same as when we first met, polite and distant.

A long time ago, Hao Ai felt that Zhong Xiu's temperament was gloomy, just like the deserted evening at this moment.But later he felt that Zhong Xiu was a ray of sunshine that was not too hot, clean and gentle, making people unconsciously want to get close.

That was the tenderness reserved only for him.

But now the sun is gone, Hao Ai didn't want it.

"I have to go to the remedial class at night, so let's go first."

When Hao Ai came back to his senses, Zhong Xiu had already left. He stared blankly at the direction where Zhong Xiu left, and suddenly realized that he rarely looked at Zhong Xiu's back.

Most of the time, it was Zhong Xiu who sent him away first.

This man loves to play cool, and he always wears thin clothes in winter. The long black trench coat on him makes him look taller, and his back looks cold and decisive.

But if he left first, Zhong Xiu would only be left with a very stupid back, because he was wearing a thick down jacket, like a bulky penguin.

Not cool at all.

Zhong Xiu used to take care of it a lot. When the weather was cold, he was always asked to wear a down jacket that could keep out the cold, but he himself wore thin and nice clothes. It was really too much.

Hao Ai wanted to cry a little. When the tears were about to flow out, he thought again, would the tears freeze when it was so cold now? He was amused by this strange thought, and felt that he didn't really want to cry anymore.

Hao Ai was walking aimlessly on the road, not yet deciding where to go.The cold wind was blowing head-on, whistling, he shrank his neck, feeling cold.The wind seems to blow through the clothes and blow into the body, even the bones are cold.

Hao Ai always felt that time passed quickly, but he had grown up so much that he never had the idea of ​​going back to the past.He has never liked winter very much, because it is very cold. It seems that it is not so cold when it snows, but he doesn't like it either.

But now, he really wants to go back to last winter and experience the past year, good and bad, all over again.

There is an open coffee shop on the side of the road. I haven't seen it before. It looks like it was newly opened during the winter vacation.

He walked in, and there was no customer in the store at this time, and there was only one clerk at the counter who was sitting in front of the computer and watching a video.

The clerk was probably watching some funny video and laughed happily.Hao Ai called twice before she heard.

The clerk hurriedly said sorry, Hao Ai smiled and said, it's okay.

No matter how sad you are, as long as you want to laugh, you can still laugh.

He ordered a cup of black coffee and found a seat at random.

The clerk got up to make coffee for him, and the mellow smell of strong coffee wafted from the shop.

There is slow-paced music playing on the computer stereo, and the melody seems to be a sad song, which is quite suitable for the occasion.

Coffee was served promptly.

Hao Ai concentrated on stirring the coffee in the porcelain cup with a small spoon. He watched the dark brown liquid in the cup converging into a vortex following the stirring direction of the spoon, swirling, turbulent, and finally returned to calm.

"However, if you have nothing to do, I will build a port, and you can leave as you want."

Hao Ai stood up before the song ended and walked out of the coffee shop.He seemed to have stepped into the ice and snow again, even though Zheng Chuan hadn't snowed this winter.

The author says:

The last line of the lyrics comes from "Ivory Boat"-Fools and Idiots＊20 word punch card, the mirror is finally broken, the mirror is broken into slag!I thought it would take four or five chapters to write Broken Mirror, but oh well, I finished it in two chapters.Didn’t lie to you, it’s really not cruel, maybe there won’t be too much conflict in the full text, even the broken mirror is flat, I tried my best to write the kind of emotions that are secretly turbulent but restrained, no I know if everyone feels it, I have tried my best!If it wasn't for the hand speed limiting me, I think I can even change [-] a day.Whisper bb, ask for comments and ask for starfish ('...?.')