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What is death?

When breathing stops, when body temperature drops, when the heartbeat that represents the existence of life disappears.

Death really came quietly.

Xu Chen experienced this feeling.

In his last life, he witnessed the death of many people, relatives, friends, opponents, and finally his own turn.

It was a cold night, the snow was fluttering outside, and the heating inside the house was sufficient. Logically speaking, it should have been comfortable, but that night was so cold, the biting cold wind seemed to penetrate the hard steel reinforced soil to form a The house, straight into the heart.

That day was actually his birthday.

However, no one knows.

The date of birth filled in his ID card was actually wrong. Only his parents, and only the two people closest to him in this world knew that that day was his real birthday.

He is old.

He was alone, watching the snowflakes falling on the balcony seriously, and gradually fell into his own thoughts, unable to extricate himself.

That night, he drank the cup of hot water and medicine prepared by the bedside, lay down, and fell into a deep sleep.

Tomorrow is another beautiful day.

To my dear students:

I have always wanted to send this letter to you, but I have not sent it to you for a long time.I don't know if you will be able to read this letter.I still remember when we met for the first time, when you walked through the Buddhist hall, the dull eyes in your eyes deeply moved me.

I was born in the director department, when I saw your face, I wanted to record you in my camera.The feeling is always so wonderful, and the impulse of that moment made me press the shutter.

In case you don't know it, I have a love-hate relationship with you as your mentor.Love your talent, hate your time.

Child, I know that you have always been mature and stable, and because of this, I don't want to get too involved in your choice.I don't know what you are looking for, but I think your life is still long, and you still have enough time to choose and wait.

Don't be afraid, there will always be someone by your side on the road ahead.

……

Child, you are calm, pessimistic and lonely.

Many times, I don't know why, I actually think that you are so similar to me, a bad old man, maybe it's just an illusion.I am old, my old body cannot withstand the passage of time, death may be coming, I have a hunch.

You once talked to me about death and your description scares me. I worry about you. I'm old and discouraged. That's normal.And you, being young, why are you so.

Everyone's works are chasing the shadow in their hearts.And you, in your works, touch death again and again.After death, there should be new life.To live to die, but you never wrote it.

You chose to be an actor, I was a little worried at first, afraid that you were too involved, but then I felt that I underestimated you, my students are stronger than I thought.

……

In the end, I hope that you can live for your true self.This is my only expectation from you.

Xu Chen closed his eyes, but he couldn't forget the last sentence.

Where did my real self go?

he does not know.

As early as when I was graduating from university, when I suddenly learned of my mother's illness, everything seemed to have changed.My father and myself insisted on not giving up the opportunity for treatment, and the family was heavily in debt, but they still failed to save my mother's life.

On the last journey, he watched his mother being pushed into the ICU ward, and he thought of his mother's slight trembling at night. He knew that his mother was in great pain, but he never said it, and just endured it silently.

The mother is holding on for herself and her father. The dilapidated life is obviously dying, but she has to bear two healthy lives and move forward with heavy burdens.

It was a long time later that Xu Chen could never forget the bitter taste when he finally understood what his mother was really thinking.

In the past, Xu Chen never thought that he would work hard to make money. At first it was to pay off debts, and later it was for a sense of security.The father formed a new family, kept silent about his mother, and became the redundant one himself.

Had he wondered if everything would have been better if he had caught it earlier?However, after rebirth, nothing changed, but worse.

So far, on those nights when it was difficult to fall asleep, he couldn't help recalling the car accident, or dreaming that he and his parents and family were going on a trip.I dreamed that the big truck rushed over and crushed myself.

That was obviously the ending he deserved.

However, he was alive and well.

It's worth a lifetime.

Is being rich enough to be truly happy?

Even if you have too much that others can't get, even if everyone thinks that you should be satisfied with your life, it seems that nothing can fill the void in your heart.

"Why did you bring me here?" Xu Chen sat on the deck chair on the roof, a little confused.

"Here, the view is very wide."

"Look, there are so many stars." Jiming pointed to the sky and said.

Xu Chen looked at the sky. In the gray night sky, the shining stars were blooming one by one, which added a bit of openness to the confused moonlight, and also added a bit of separation sorrow.

"When I was young, what I wanted to do most was to pick off a star."

"The dream is really big." Xu Chen couldn't help but said with a smile.

"From childhood to adulthood, there is almost nothing I can't get, except stars. One day, I said that I wanted to pluck a star and hold it in the palm of my hand. My mother said I was whimsical and daydreaming, and my father scolded me. I was just full and had nothing to do."

"When I grew up, I had a star, a star I named myself."

"Some people really want to beat you up after hearing this." Xu Chen twitched the corner of his mouth.

"Indeed, when my parents heard about it, they laughed at me again, obviously growing up like a child. Always so persistent and childish."

Xu Chen thought in his heart, peeling off that stern skin, he really looks like a naive kid.

"Xu Chen, have you ever been afraid?" Jiming asked.

"Billions of stars, in the universe, are like us. In this world, they have always been so small. However, even if they are small and humble, they still emit their own light, whether strong or weak."

"One day, the stars will dim and go out, just like people will disappear in this world. But I always feel that at least something must be left."

"So what about you?" Jimin asked.

Xu Chen looked at the sky, paused for a while, and said with a smile, "I, to live is simply to live. I'm not like you, with lofty aspirations."

"I came to this world by accident."

"It's an accident for you, but luck for me." Jiming said.

Xu Chen was stunned.

"I know, you don't believe that I like you. You don't believe that I can always like you."

"It's not easy to maintain the heat of love. I don't know what the future will hold. The only thing I can be sure of is that I don't want to leave you."

Xu Chen remained silent.

"Do you think it's shameful to have a dream?" Jiming suddenly changed the subject and asked.

"Not only is it not shameful, but it is very happy." Xu Chen hesitated for a moment, then said out loud, "Dreams are a luxury. Many people want to have them and are chasing after them, but most of them are just trying to get water out of a bamboo basket."

"Then, can you like me for a while?" Jiming asked shyly.

Xu Chen turned his head and looked at him sitting next to him. Under the moonlight, his cold face softened, and those eyes looked at him gently. The emotions in his pupils were so full, and there was a bit of a smile on his face. Excuse me.

"My current dream is that one day, you can fall in love with me, and I can accompany you, forever, forever."

After a while, Xu Chen couldn't help but speak out.

"Why, you suddenly mentioned this."

"It is said on the Internet that confession should choose a good night."

Xu Chen was convinced.

"Xu Chen, cry if you want to."

"Why are you crying?" Xu Chen was a little uncomfortable and awkward.

Ji Ming sat in front of him, watched his eyelashes quivering with a bit of light, couldn't help stretching out his hand to caress the scar at the corner of his eye.

"I know you better than you think."

Xu Chen tilted his head, not daring to look into his eyes.

"I like children very much. Because they are carefree and fearless. They tell the truth, unlike us adults who always try to hide what we really think."

"We often dare not say out loud what we really want. We are afraid of being ridiculed, afraid of not being able to do it, and when encountering things, we can only support ourselves alone, and we can only bear it hard."

"You are not such a person." Xu Chen said.

"However, I am also an ordinary person. No matter how powerful I am, there will be times when I fail and feel frustrated." Jiming looked at Xu Chen helplessly.

He lowered his head and carefully organized his words, "You know, I once had a failed marriage."

Xu Chen nodded.

"She is my college classmate. When I was studying abroad, I met her. She took the initiative to pursue me. I agreed. After returning to China, we got married and had a child."

"Everything was done step by step, but suddenly one day, she told me that she was going to get a divorce. I..." Jiming suddenly hesitated, "I don't know what to say, what I felt at that time. I'm not sad, I'm not sad."

Xu Chen glanced at Ji Ming in surprise.

"Xu Chen, don't look at me like that." Jiming said distressedly.

"I admit, I was a little cold. At that time, I even thought that divorce was a very normal thing. She is the kind of person with a strong career and always wants to make achievements in academics. So I agreed. She I didn’t stay in China, but now I teach in a university abroad and have a new family.”

"Until I met you, I'm pretty sure I've never had such a big interest in a person."

"Should I say thank you for your kindness, or something else?" Xu Chen said helplessly.

"I should have told you about your mentor earlier." Jiming said.

"You sure know."

"You can tell me everything."

"I'm afraid you will be too sad." Jiming said.

"Why do you think I will be sad?" Xu Chen asked.

"You always put the things you like at the bottom and hide them in the deepest place. You don't want others to know, and you pretend it doesn't matter, because you are afraid of losing them."

"You care about feelings, just like you love acting, but you never show it. So, almost everyone thinks that you don't care about feelings, don't cherish opportunities, and just waste time."

"But you actually love them very much. Whenever you mention them, the bottom of your eyes..." Jiming gently stroked his face, his fair and delicate face was full of anxiety, and the tears in the corners of his eyes were wet fingertip.

"Always glowing."

This person finally showed himself completely in front of him.

He obviously only wanted to make him happy, but when he looked at him with tears in his eyes, he suddenly felt an indescribable pleasure.

Control him, own him, own him.

It turned out that this was the real thought in my heart.

The author has something to say: Quiet Mimi's update... the author of Xianyu, who writes in the Department of Buddhism.I know I have a bad rhythm, so work hard.Thank you readers for collecting, I am currently relying on collecting.

Regarding the attack, let me state that, in fact, the attack also has many shortcomings.

All in all, this is probably a story of mutual redemption.