i might like my brother

"Brother? Why is our TV suddenly broken?"

"The power is out." Li Jinzhi came out of the bedroom with his mobile phone on, "I'll go and see."

"Our area has stopped." Li Chibin lay on the window sill and watched, the night outside was dark, only the clean moonlight remained.

"The property said it is under repair." Li Jinzhi made a phone call.

"I want to go out for a walk." Li Chibin's mobile phone has only 15.00% of the battery left, and being separated from electrical appliances at home is tantamount to returning to a primitive society.

"Well, wait for me." Li Jinzhi went back to the room and changed his clothes, and took advantage of the moonlight to put on a pair of sneakers and plunge into the vast night with Li Chibin.

The street was very dark, Li Chibin held Li Jinzhi's hand stubbornly, and Li Jinzhi let him hold it without hesitation.

"Brother, no matter where you go, we will be together, right?"

Li Jinzhi's hands trembled, and he clenched Li Chibin's hand:

"Ah."

The night is falling, and the rain is coming.Li Chibin and Li Jinzhi had walked quite a long way without knowing it, and reached the brightly lit street. Although there were not too many people at the moment, most of the shops on the street were still lit.

The cold wind grabbed the single clothes tightly, and after a while, huge raindrops mixed with thunder rumbled over. The raindrops slid down Li Jinzhi's cheeks, and his broken hair was docilely bowed in front of his forehead. Li Chibin pulled Li Jinzhi into it. A noodle shop sits down for shelter from the rain.

"Boss, two bowls of wontons."

"I will not eat."

"That's a bowl." Li Chibin didn't care, and paid with WeChat using the last 13.00% of the battery.

There were only the two of them left in the noodle shop, and the air conditioner was turned on, Li Chibin was even a little cold, and a bowl was a lot, and Li Chibin gave Li Jinzhi a small half.

After eating and drinking enough, the boss is ready to close the stall and leave.

"How do you go home in such heavy rain?" Li Chibin stood at the door of the noodle shop and yawned.

"Did you take a taxi?" Li Jinzhi felt in his pocket only to find that he didn't have a mobile phone. Li Chibin took out his mobile phone with only 5.00% battery left, and probably couldn't hold on until the driver came.

"Run." Li Chibin blinked at Li Jinzhi, held his hand and bent down into the rain.

Everything in the city was washed clean. In summer, the tall trees stretched out their arms to enjoy the baptism of the torrential rain. The dry square was wet by the rain, and the weeds were beaten up and down.The song played in the commercial square was wet by the rain in the air. Li Jinzhi recognized it as "Praise of Love". He heard Li Chibin practice it in the room.

The night is like a city without people, there are only two teenagers running on the street filled with heavy rain, the cold wind eats away at the skin and bones, only the hands that hold each other are warm.

"Brother, can I sleep in your room at night?" Li Chibin dragged his pillow and leaned against Li Jinzhi's door.

Before the electricity came, Li Jinzhi arched his waist in the dark and adjusted the quilt. Seeing Li Chibin coming in, he didn't deny it, and moved his pillow to the side.

Li Chibin happily got in and threw himself on the bed.

Li Jinzhi raised a corner and lay down too. As soon as he lay down, Li Chibin hugged him.

"Sleep." Li Jinzhi covered Li Chibin's eyelids with his palms, but Li Chibin raised his head and licked Li Jinzhi's palms.

"Good night." Li Chibin nestled in Li Jinzhi's arms.

--

The sound of the rain in the middle of the night was intermittent, and the gurgling night flooded the two people on the bed. When Li Chibin woke up, Li Jinzhi had turned his back and sat on the edge of the bed. The white light from the street lamp downstairs enveloped him faintly. It should be a call now.

Li Chibin was sleepy, stretched himself in the mattress, and went to hold Li Jinzhi's hand.

Li Chibin looked up at the watch in front of the bed, it was already 02:30.

"Brother, aren't you going to sleep?"

Li Jinzhi turned to look at him: "Not sleepy, you sleep."

"Then you lie down and count the sheep, and you will fall asleep in a while."

Li Jinzhi didn't answer, lying beside Li Chibin, listening to Li Chibin count the sheep for him, before counting twenty sheep, Li Chibin fell asleep.

Li Jinzhi turned his head to trace his eyebrows, with extremely subtle movements, and when he touched the end of his eyes, he suddenly smiled again.

The next morning, when the morning light was clear, Li Chibin thought, it was probably about to clear up.

Li Jinzhi had just taken a shower, bare chested, went to the window and pushed it open vigorously to let in the sunlight from outside the window, arranged the freesia on the window sill, and held a watering can with a narrow mouth, Leaning down to feed water carefully, from this angle, Li Chibin touched his shoulder blades, waist, and long legs with his eyes, watching his back merge into the morning light, Li Chibin seemed to see the rainbow floating outside the window. Izumo.

--

Li Chibin felt that the fate between him and his brother was probably like rain, which is born with it. It turns into snowflakes in cold winter, thick fog in early spring, heavy rain in hot summer, and lingering in late autumn.And this summer vacation is like the lingering lingering before parting.

In August, Li Chibin was already preparing to leave. Everything was done quietly. Li Chibin sat by the bed with Li Jinzhi's visa:

"Why can't you go to school in China?"

"Maybe, it's better over there."

"Then I'll find you next year."

"No need." Li Jinzhi refused decisively for the first time.

"When are you coming back?"

"do not know."

Li Chibin stopped talking, and went out without even leaving a word.

In the piano room in the evening, the light was dim, and Li Chibin could barely press down on the strings, and the harsh notes were trembling. The teacher struggled to correct them, but Li Chibin made mistakes over and over again.

"Why did you go to "Swan" again? What are you thinking?"

Only then did Li Chibin regain his senses. As soon as he touched the piano, he would think of the dark piano room that day, the moist and gentle kiss that Li Jinzhi gave him, and the song "Swan".

"Sorry, teacher, that's all for today."

Li Chibin played the violin until his arms were numb and his wrists were sore.Li Chibin put away the bow, put the cello back in the case, greeted the teacher and prepared to walk home.

The wind by the river is gentle and humid, which wets the setting sun half floating on the sea, which is a solemn and solemn vastness.

"Li Chibin?"

Hearing someone calling him in front of him, Li Chibin raised his head and lost interest when he saw that it was Sun Fan. He was still brooding over the previous incident.

"Sorry, I think you have been absent-minded." Sun Fan has changed a lot from before, with a green beard around his mouth, his hair is cut short, and he still wears a baseball cap: "It's because Li Jinzhi is going to go abroad to study ?”

"How do you know?" Li Chibin frowned and asked him.

"I don't mean anything else," Sun Fan smiled wryly, "I'm the one who suggested this method."

Seeing that Li Chibin seemed to be even more angry, Sun Fan quickly explained to himself:

"Don't get me wrong, I just saw him take fluoxetine a long time ago, and I know he is depressed," Sun Fan paused: "But he doesn't seem to want you to know."

"You all know that he only keeps it from me."

"That's right," Sun Fan put his arms on the railing by the river and sighed, "Maybe he doesn't want you to see his vulnerable side."

"Later, I told my uncle to let him go abroad for treatment."

"Why do you decide for him?"

"Isn't it good to go abroad for treatment? What about you, what are you afraid of?" Sun Fan paused: "Are you afraid that he will have someone else abroad? Are you afraid that he doesn't really like you?"

"None of your business." Li Chibin laughed back angrily, and walked home with the piano case on his back.

--

"Brother?" Li Chibin ran home panting, and found Li Jinzhi squatting on the ground to pack his luggage.

"when are you leaving?"

"The day after tomorrow." Li Jinzhi explained: "I have to go to school one week in advance to prepare things. They have Orientation Week."

"By the way, let's find a doctor?" Li Chibin didn't seem to be questioning, but said it casually.

"Yes." Li Jinzhi paused for a moment, and he admitted immediately after a pause, as if he had already been prepared for Li Chibin.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I thought you needed me to be with you."

"I can do it alone." Li Jinzhi still insisted on his own opinion.

"but I……"

"I don't want you to see it," Li Jinzhi turned his head away, "I've been insomnia all night, and I'm upset and anxious."

"Am I going to upset you?"

"You're the source of my upset."

Li Chibin stopped talking until Li Jinzhi said softly:

"Xiao Chi, I can't hold on anymore."

Li Chibin looked at Li Jinzhi's half face buried in the golden dusk, and suddenly felt very sad, very sad.

--

On the day Li Jinzhi left, only Li Chibin went to the airport to see him off. The weather was as dim as a bayonet covered with rust. It was rare that after the rain, it was not too stuffy, but rather clear.

Li Chibin lowered his head and pulled Li Jinzhi's luggage, followed behind Li Jinzhi, listening to the mechanical female announcer in the airport announcing the flight over and over again, thinking of the number of games on Li Jinzhi's ticket, Li Jinzhi turned his head Looking at Li Chibin.

The two people are facing each other within a short distance, but they are separated by thousands of ravines, mountains and rivers, looking at the distance from the top of the mountain.Li Jinzhi bent down to stroke Li Chibin's soft hair, stroked his bangs to make him look up, leaned over to touch Li Chibin's reddish nose, and said in a very soft voice:

"I'm leaving, brother."

Before the kiss fell, Li Jinzhi half closed his eyes, pulled the suitcase, and passed the security check.

When he turned his head again, the people next to him were watching the two of them, but Li Chibin, his boy, stood alone in the same place, like a straight fir tree, thin and handsome.

He hasn't left yet, but he has begun to miss him.

--

Li Chibin returned home again, the dusk had already sunk under the water, and the city was sleeping peacefully. He dragged his tired body, sat at the desk, and pulled out the single page of the magazine that had been folded many times by himself from the back of the drawer and had softened.

He still remembers the first time he unfolded this magazine——"Love 100%", and the test result was "the love you can't ask for."

He used to be blushed by the word "love", but now he is crying because of the words "can't get what you ask for".