have hidden illness

Is Gao Xun crying?

Gao Xun was crying.

He didn't cry on purpose, and he didn't know what happened. For the time being, he can only blame it all on the fact that his body is too uncomfortable, so he has mismanaged himself.

Otherwise, he knew everything was fine, and he couldn't find the reason for this tear.

Is he really all right?

Being held down by his mother to meet a girl he doesn't like, it seems that he will never have the chance to confess his true self to her; being threatened by a boy who is eight years younger than him and his student taking nude photos Maintaining a physical relationship, being demanded anytime, anywhere, fearing that someone will find out their abnormal state; the body that has been trained for days seems to have developed a sense of dependence on another person, and can no longer even climax on its own. Not being sexually dependent can’t be decided by oneself; being caught in the rain and having a cold and having a fever has to be pressed on the bed to do this kind of thing...

Not all is well with him, all is not well with him.

Yes, he is gay, and he is addicted to sex, but he asks himself that he has not done anything evil, and has been trying to be responsible for himself, not wanting to trouble anyone, let alone hurt anyone, why everything has turned into how about this?

Gao Xun fell on the pillow, the thoughts in his mind were tangled together chaotically, his tired and heavy body was dragged down and fell, until he fell into the hot molten lava.And his tears were just like this, flowing down uncontrollably, more and more, unable to stop.

The last time he shed so many tears probably dates back to elementary school.

He once thought that he would never cry like this again. After all, even though he encountered so many inexplicable treatment and boring malice in high school, he could still hold up his self-esteem and keep himself on the sidelines as if he were not involved.Although when I think about it when I grow up, this kind of approach is more of a childish bravado, not necessarily impeccable strength, but at least those encounters have not given him such a chaotic and powerless sense of frustration.

These long-lost and hot tears overflowed from his eyes one after another. He couldn't see anything clearly and didn't want to maintain it anymore. He didn't want to be Gao Xun anymore. If he wasn't Gao Xun, maybe he wouldn't be gay , will not be addicted to sex.

So what if he didn't want to look weak and ridiculous?

In such sexual intercourse without any foreplay, even if his body, which Kuang Huaiye is fully familiar with, is placed in the position he dislikes the most, even when he feels wronged like this, he still can't help it. He gets a controlled erection.

How else could he not look weak and ridiculous?

Kuang Huaiye did not expect to make Gao Xun cry.

Although there was no sound at all, the tears dripping on his fingers were hot and abundant.

Frightened by Gao Xun's sad tears, he froze for a few seconds and then immediately withdrew from Gao Xun's body.

"You, don't cry, I'm out, I won't move you."

For the first time, in front of Gao Xun, Kuang Huaiye showed the helplessness of a boy of this age.

He frantically tried to turn Gao Xun over, but Gao Xun grimaced and refused.He didn't dare to use too much force on Gao Xun who was still crying, so he hurriedly moved over to pick up the hem of his jacket and wanted to wipe it for Gao Xun, but Gao Xun refused, so he had to wipe it with his hand when he was in a hurry, Gao Xun dodged a few times He covered his face completely in the pillow.

"Did it hurt you? May I show you?" As Kuang Huaiye was about to see him, Gao Xun kicked his legs and said something, but because his face was buried in the pillow, The voice was muffled, and Kuang Huaiye couldn't hear it clearly.

"Teacher... Gao Xun?"

Kuang Huaiye was so anxious that he had no choice but to move his body as close as possible to get closer to him, then put his palms on the top of Gao Xun's head, and rubbed his hair gently and cherishingly.

Another sentence popped out from the pillow, this time Kuang Huaiye was closer and heard clearly.

Gao Xun said: "...Why do you insist on doing this, is it because I have sexual dependence?"

Kuang Huaiye's hand that was rubbing his hair froze, both of them knew what that meant.But except for the time when Gao Xun mentioned his sexual dependence when he was forced to be extremely distraught, no matter how hard Kuang Huaiye tried later on, even if he was forced to make her husband call out, there was no question about this sexual dependence. Gao Xun never brought up the matter of the disease.

"Because I have this damn thing, you think it's okay to do whatever you want with me, don't you?"

Kuang Huaiye was unable to refute his accusation for a while.

No, he doesn't think that because Gao Xun has sexual dependence, he can do whatever he wants to him without any scruples.

He is worse.

When Gao Xun told himself about this for the first time, he subconsciously chose to be skeptical, and using this suspicion as an excuse, he took Gao Xun's photo and threatened him to have a relationship with him with peace of mind.

"...No." He said nah-na, no matter how he heard it, he felt guilty.

"You are! You think it's fun to play with grown-ups, don't you? You're one of those boring teens!"

Kuang Huaiye smiled wryly, but he had never experienced the feeling of what Gao Xun said to play him in the applause, and even most of the time, although it seemed that he was asking Gao Xun for whatever he wanted, in fact he knew it best. No matter how many times I remind myself that the Gao Xun in front of me is not the same person as the Gao Xun I have imagined for many years, it still can't change Gao Xun's restraint on him all the time.

Gao Xun didn't know it, but he knew that in front of Gao Xun, his superficial ferocity and arrogance were nothing but bluffing.

During this period of time, he may have controlled Gao Xun's body, but Gao Xun was in charge of all his emotions.

Happiness is for Gao Xun, anger is for Gao Xun, joy, anger, sorrow, joy, hope and disappointment are all because of Gao Xun.

Gao Xun's whole body was burning with a fever, and the tears flowed so fiercely, all the coldness and indifference disappeared.Instead, the embarrassment and fragility made Kuang Huaiye powerless to fight.

He regretted it badly, but he didn't know what to do.Just like when I was young, I fell in love with a potted flower, and I had an indescribable concern in my heart. The most important task every day is to find and look at it.Stretching out my clumsy hand, I touched its petals one by one without knowing the severity, living in the sun and the moon, tirelessly.Until one day, the flower got sick from being touched by him, and the petals fluttered and fell down. He looked at it regretfully, blamed himself and was anxious, but he couldn't return the fallen petals to it.

Kuang Huaiye hugged Gao Xun from behind, bit the back of his neck lightly, pressed against his hot skin, and said in a low voice: "I did something wrong, I apologize to you, I'm sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable ,sorry."

"I didn't do bad things... I checked the information, and sex addiction can be divided into three levels. The first level is those that don't harm others, such as masturbation or something... I'm just the first level, I didn't think To hurt others...I don't want to hinder anyone...I'm myself..." Gao Xun became more and more wronged as he spoke, tears smeared his face, dizzy and poured out these words that he had never said to anyone before Kuang Huaiye.

Hearing these intermittent words, Kuang Huaiye couldn't stop kissing Gao Xun who was curled up in distress.

He suddenly remembered that in the sketchbook, under each picture, Gao Xun had left the characters [玊] one by one, making him feel unbearably uncomfortable.He is simply the worst and the stupidest. He obviously likes Gao Xun, so why did he choose all the bad things to do, and forced Gao Xun to be like this.

He held Gao Xun's hand and slammed it hard on himself a few times: "I'm too bad, Teacher Gao hit me."

Gao Xun didn't give him a grip, grabbed his fingers and pressed them all back. The pain made Kuang Huaiye groan, and Gao Xun seemed a little satisfied. Resisted.It wasn't clear whether it was from the eye sockets or the liquid from the nose that all rubbed onto Kuang Huaiye's fingers, and he was still chanting: "You are just very bad..."

"Yes, I was really bad before, but I promise I will change it in the future. Don't cry, okay, if you don't feel well and cry like this, you will become dehydrated. I'll get you something to eat."

Gao Xun's posture with his back facing him did not change, but his hand stretched out from the twisted quilt and pressed the back of Kuang Huaiye's hand.

"What's wrong?" Kuang Huaiye asked quietly.

Gao Xun pinched a little flesh on the back of his hand, moved it in front of him, and said with a bit of aggrieved nasal voice: "...Touch, touch."

Kuang Huaiye was taken aback for a moment, but he couldn't hold it back and asked him with a chuckle, "...were you always stiff just now?"

He thought he could feel the pain, Gao Xun must not be comfortable.

Gao Xun closed his eyes, and there were still wet tears on his face. When he heard his question, he probably wanted to be angry, but because he was sick and cried a lot, he didn't have any normal momentum. Youchu snorted loudly: "Sexual dependence is like this. Do you want to touch it?"

After being with Gao Xun for so many days, Kuang Huaiye has never thought that Gao Xun in front of him is better and cuter than Gao Xun ten years ago.

"Touch, I can touch whatever the teacher wants me to do."

When the ejaculation came out, Gao Xun felt sleepy almost instantly.

He still has a lot of temper and dissatisfaction that he wants to take advantage of at this time and Kuang Huaiye to explode.

But neither his limp body nor his inoperable spirit allowed him to wake up for a while longer, and he was being pulled into a deeper sleep.