[Wei Yong] Looking for Lilia

Katsuki Yuuri hid in a corner near the washroom, holding a glass of "Green Grasshopper" in his hand - the boss Tiger swore drunkenly pointing to the chandelier that it was the drink with the lowest alcohol content, but he still maintained a cautious attitude, only occasionally Taking a sip, he looked like a ten-year-old drinking cough syrup.

He's gotten more attention than he thinks fit tonight, it's as if suddenly he's a celebrity, and everywhere he goes, people call him by name, shake hands, hug or kiss him cheeks, they all had warm smiles on their faces, they walked like they were on a boat, and whenever they found Yuuri around them, they would yell and cheer with excitement, as if they were going to knock the roof off.

Yuuri doesn't even know half of them!He's here because Yang yells backstage: "Go to the bar! My treat!" and grabs Victor, who's closest to her, out of nowhere, and like every party, the word goes viral Come on, the troupe members called their friends, and these people called other friends, and the next thing he knew, he was caught between Chris and JJ, and his feet were completely off the ground—— The two of them cheered "Ooooh!" as they spread their long legs and ran ahead, picking Yuuri up like a pup.Before he even had time to take another look at Victor, his friends (Phichit, Kwong Hong, and Kenjiro ran at the front, followed by Seunggi, wait a minute, even Seunggi?!) surrounded him like a wall. Come over, six or seven boys let out a Tarzan-like cry and ran away (out of the corner of his eye, he seemed to see Leo Iglesia desperately trying to catch up with them), making Yuuri feel as if It's a fresh ingredient just discovered by the cannibals.

When they arrived at their destination—a quiet western-style bar—the group swarmed up to the counter, startling the owner, Tiger (a tall young man with a beard), and they started Everyone chattered about ordering drinks, JJ wanted "Sexy Beach", Chris wanted "Chocolate Martini", Phichit yelled for hard drinks, and Seung Gi only drank beer, everyone seemed to have drunk too much In less than 5 minutes, the large army caught up with them, and now it became even more lively, and more unheard of cocktail names were reported, and there were many combinations of words that did not make sense to Yuuri.He only managed to catch a glimpse of Viktor in the crowd - like Yuuri, he hadn't been able to change into his pre-show clothes, in fact, Yuuri felt that no one in the show was wearing his clothes - Viktor was standing By the door, chatting with a few girls, they all looked at him eagerly, laughing so that the flower branches trembled—the real flower branches trembled, because they still had prop flowers on their heads, which looked like a big flower from a distance. A pile of potted plants that move around.

Another three and ten minutes later, with alcohol in everyone's belly, the difference between a party of dancers and a party of college students is revealed: almost the same frenzy, with a lot of extreme sports added - in the cheers of the crowd In it, JJ took the lead lying on the table, sunken his body into a circle, put his feet on the sides of his head and started drinking from a barrel, and then three or four young people joined him, including Lee Seung-gil (what the hell are you Or did I know that Seungji?! Yuuri yelled in horror) And so on and so forth.At times like this, it's hard to notice a man who's sincerely hiding himself, even if he's (in theory) the star of the night.

Yuuri tucked himself into a corner, feeling comfortable and relieved—like when a difficult exam is suddenly announced to be postponed until next year.He thinks it's good because - like it or not - the raucous crowd separates him from Victor, and the guy is a natural light absorber who gets caught wherever he goes and doesn't have a drink Unable to get away, Yuuri could easily dodge him, just avoid the busiest crowd, because wherever Viktor is present, it must be full of people talking in high-pitched voices, all of them craning their necks, as if It's like getting more attention.But he was not without miscalculations. A few minutes ago, he accidentally passed Victor. At that time, he was stretching his neck to see what his friends were doing. She is talking to Victor.

"...Of course, I don't really like the part where you stick your tongue into my brother's mouth..."

Yuuri felt his chest was scalded by a red hot iron, he quickly ducked down and hid behind a very tall costumer, sneaked a guilty conscience and involuntarily.

Viktor is smiling, not looking offended, in fact, he's having a good laugh.

"That is……"

Yuuri quickly ran away.What would Victor say?Is that... stage design?Part of the show?Emotional impulse?He found that he didn't want to know at all.

If he stayed, Victor would be heard saying, "That was the right move at the time."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh," Zhenli said, "my parents are still waiting to see the video - you're not the one to explain it to them afterwards! What will they think when they find out you kissed my brother? My mother Will cry!"

"Then tell her I mean it," Victor said. "Tell her I've been looking forward to this day since I was 17."

"Fuck you." Marie said, frowning. She was older than Victor, which sounded like an inappropriate joke to her. "Wait a minute, are you serious?"

"What did I just say?" Victor raised an eyebrow, "Maybe you should drink slowly, how many 'ice tea' is this?"

"I need more booze here!" Minako yells, grabbing the full attention of both of them, with Chris sitting next to her, both of them flushed, just a shot of tequila away from undressing in public.

Unaware of all this, Yuuri finds the small table a few minutes later, an island in the middle of the ocean, separating him from the noise.

Which is good, because he needs a little space where he can clear his mind and think about what happened.

This is the second time, he thought, fingering the bottom of the glass unconsciously, the time in Mira's closet, plus today... no one was drunk, they were both sober as stone, no Any excuse, unless he wanted to explain it with an unscientific reason: they were both affected by a magnetic field, or someone put a spell on them, or Mercury just moved to a position where people kissed-hell, he had to go back Block those "Star of the Week" emails Guanghong sends them every week.

After swearing hard enough to never pass the time by reading the Weekly Star on the toilet again, Yuuri's train of thought picks up where it left off - he's finding it hard to concentrate tonight, even though he needs to be productive right now His ability to think, but his brain seemed to have been eaten away by moths, and it was full of net-like white fluff, which was blown around by the wind.He was annoyed.

Think, Katsuki Yuuri, think!He said to himself sternly, the same thing happened twice, twice, he and Viktor kissed each other involuntarily, what does that mean?It was like wandering around in a maze. The center of the maze was filled with thick fog. Whenever he tried to get close, he would be sent back to the exit.At this time, another memory suddenly appeared in his mind.

Victor was lying on the bed, his silver hair scattered on the pillow...

The blue-gray light of the morning filtered in through the curtains, fogging everything in the room except for... Victor.His thick eyelashes drooped, blocking his pupils, he looked as if he was asleep, but also as if he was about to wake up...

Then what?And then things get very... blurry... and Viktor lifts his upper body... he leans in... and then?

Then he kissed Yuuri, on the lips, a light touch, but the touch and texture of his lips was clearly transmitted along the nerves to every corner of Yuuri's brain.

...this fucking can't be true.Yuuri clutched his head.But if it's not a dream... then it's not two, it's three.

Three times, the two of them kissed three times.Already surpassed Yuuri's record for most kisses in his life - that is, zero times.what does that mean?He kisses Viktor, and Viktor responds, and even once Viktor initiates... no no no that must be a dream.Yuuri immediately denied himself that it had to be a dream, if it wasn't a dream...he thought about what happened in the next few days, him and Victor, every little thing they did...watching movies together, adding sugar to each other's coffee and Cream (the recipe is not trivial at all, he can hear the calories puffing up), eye-to-eye in the crowd...if that's true, they're like...as if they're...

"Hey!" A slap slapped him heavily on the back, almost slapping Yuuri into the wine glass. When he turned around, he saw that Phichit was smiling at him with two bottles of beer. It looked like a Viking helmet, Yuuri stared at the pair of antlers for a while, and suddenly said, "Isn't this hanging on the wall?"

"I borrowed it." Phichit said nonchalantly, the two antlers on his helmet drove away anyone who wanted to get close, for fear of being stabbed by him, he sat opposite Yuuri, "You see the light Is there a rainbow?"

"No..." Yuuri said in a daze, and something suddenly occurred to him, "Wait a minute, oh my god, we let him in the bar! He's not of legal drinking age yet!"

"Relax, he has followed that Popovich to the bar several times." Phichit said, "Chengji made him a dozen fake IDs."

"It's a crime, isn't it?" Yuuri moans. "It's a crime! He..."

"That kid's ability to evade legal sanctions is much stronger than you can imagine," Phichit said, "That's not important, we can talk about Guanghong and his adventurous life later, now, a new topic: you and Nikifer Where did Love go?"

"Oh my God," Yuuri groaned again, finding that he'd rather be prudish than talk about it with Phichit, especially when he couldn't figure it out himself, "what step?"

"That's it..." Phichit said, his eyes glowing eagerly, like two high-wattage searchlights, "Have you said 'I love you'? Are you planning to live together? Are you planning to get married? Want to adopt a child? - I recommend Java Island for weddings, I have a cousin there, it's very romantic, and the seafood is delicious, by the way: if you ask me to be the best man, I will throw you an epic bachelor party , think about it, Chengji and Guanghong are just two fools, you can't count on them."

Yuuri stares at him blankly, as if hearing an alien language - and it's not Klingon, OMG did he just quote a Star Trek meme?Yuuri buried his head in his arms in despair.

"My mind is poisoned," Yuuri said. "The Force is no longer with me."

"I've come to this realization," Phichit said. "After reading Victor's twitter, I can't believe that such a cool person likes "Star Trek". It seems that people can't be perfect. But then Speaking of which, where is the wedding thing? Remember, I will always choose the fish*, and don't bring the plusone - bringing people to a wedding is too intimate, you can remember my reply now, can you remember Do you want me to write it down for you?"

"Phichit!" Yuuri yelled, "No wedding! Nothing! Me and...we have no change!"

Phichit scrutinized him for a while.

"I don't believe it," he said. "Wait a minute—you're not together? That..." He made a kiss. "What is it, impulsive?"

"...Yeah, that's it," Yuuri said, "I mean...at the time...I really don't know what I was thinking, back then it seemed like kissing was the only right thing to do, and..." He suddenly remembered something , "And that was part of the performance!" He thumped the table, feeling so excited for some reason, as if he had found a reasonable and legal explanation for himself, but he didn't feel much better because of it, and there was still a huge stone pressing on his heart . "That was part of the show, every show, yes, that's it..." He said to himself.

"Tell yourself," Phichit said, "hundreds of eyes are watching, and if you ask anyone, they won't say it's just 'part of the show', just ask."

Yuuri looked at him, confused, "Then...I don't know..." Phichit took a sip of his beer and Yuuri frowned, lost in confusion, "I mean...I have no reason...he didn't ...I was...I didn't understand." Finally he said, "Help me, Phichit, I'm about to explode."

"Okay," Phichit said, "God I didn't know you had such a personality! I should charge for relationship counseling... what's the last thing you think about before you kiss him? How do we start here Sample?"

"What I'm thinking is..." Yuuri murmured in difficulty, the memories on the stage were all a blur shrouded in heavenly light, it might take him 30 years to recall what he was thinking, he remembered himself for a while Thinking about this, thinking about that for a while, excited for a while, excited for a while, the heart keeps beating like a heart attack... "I can't remember." He moaned, "I can't remember anything."

"You goldfish brain," Phichit complained, "you can forget that too! Then what do you remember most clearly?"

It's Victor.Yuuri immediately wanted to answer, of course he remembers Victor most clearly, the way Victor looks on stage, his stretched shoulders and arms, his nimble and graceful dance steps, and even the self-confidence that exudes from him, involuntarily controlling everything... …But the opening was guaranteed to be laughed at, so he shut up and drank his drink until Phichit snatched it away.

"Okay, keep your senses," he said sensibly, "we all know you drink like a baby, but you fight like Uncle Texas."

"According to my father, our family is from Kyushu, Japan," Yuuri said to him, "Uncle Dezhou is a girl student in a Catholic school in the eyes of Kyushu boys."

Phichit smirked, "Interesting," he said, "Back to reality, you're thinking of Victor, aren't you? All you remember is that he's super handsome, am I right? — no need to deny it, Even the 60-year-old lady sitting next to me has more courage than you, and she said that she would put Victor in her list of sexual fantasies."

"Evil—" Yuuri said, "I don't want to know about this." If he could get a list of "everyone who fantasizes about Viktor" he could be sued by environmental groups: for printing this Paper could wipe out an entire tropical rainforest. "I just..." Some memories came back to him vaguely, "I think he's... lonely."

As if the floodgates of memory had been opened, more floods poured in.He started to think more.

"He's lonely," Yuuri murmurs, "He always has been. And I just... I just wish..." He stood up abruptly, "I need to talk to Victor." Because standing up too hard , he was dizzy for a while.

After 5 minutes, the color block receded, and he stood up again. This time, he was more cautious. He stood up successfully and began to look around.Phichit shrugged and went to play with someone else—Chris was showing everyone how to eat a plate of chicken pie in 50 seconds, and the crowd looked at him with dreamy admiration.

"I want a challenge!" Phichit yelled, diving headlong into the crowd.

"He seems to have gone out," said Tiger, the only sober person, the owner of the bar. "I mean... these guys are starting to go crazy, you know?" He pointed to the back door of the bar.

Yuuri nodded, and he walked towards the door, his heart seemed to be jumping like a little rabbit, and he kept typing drafts in his stomach.

Once outside the bar, leaving the noisy and stuffy environment and music, everything on the street looks extraordinarily gentle and friendly.The night at the end of June still carried the last trace of coolness, and there was a scent of flowers in the air. Victor was standing by the street with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"Hey darling, come with me?" two drunken girls just out of the PUB yelled at him, and Victor smiled.

"Give me your number," he said, "and I'll be looking for you in ten years."

They both giggled, ogles and blew him kisses, and Victor smiled and even waved at them.

The girls walked away, Victor was still standing there, the cigarette butt in his mouth was flickering, the wind gently ruffled his bangs, and he caressed them - now they are even more messy Yes, a gold-like texture shone under the streetlight.

He took another puff and slowly exhaled the smoke. The gray smoke quickly dissipated in the air.Victor watched it disappear quietly before bringing the cigarette butt to his mouth and taking another puff.

Yuuri stands there for a moment, wondering if he should step up to bother him - this Viktor is so different from the spotlight he was in the bar a few minutes ago, but Yuuri has a feeling, even though neither might be able to Represents Victor, but Victor, who smokes lonely under the street lamp, seems to be closer to the real him.

At this moment, Victor seemed to have noticed something, he turned his head and saw Yuuri standing there.

He smiled.

"Hey," he whispers, a little embarrassed that he's been caught, and Yuuri flips the thought out: this Viktor, this smiling, shy and bewildered Viktor, It seems that this one is the real Victor. In fact, in his heart, Victor is more like a child than anyone else, and his extroversion is just a protective cover.He is more innocent and soft than anyone else, afraid of being hurt.

Victor dropped the cigarette butt.Yuuri walked over and took a closer look, the clothes Viktor was wearing looked even more ridiculous, and he suddenly felt a little regretful—that suit was so handsome on Viktor.Yuuri regretted not being able to take a second look at the suit he had put on specially for "Yuuri's big day".

"Since when did you start smoking?" Yuuri asked nonchalantly.

Victor thought for a while. "I can't remember either."

Yuuri suddenly had a feeling: unlike a smoker who drinks a lot, Victor actually doesn't like smoking, but sometimes he finds that he can't get rid of the powerlessness that wants to swallow him up except for smoking.

He rocked from side to side.

"Why did you come out?" Victor asked, "You are the leading actor."

"Chris is going to turn it into a nude party," Yuuri said, "I guess I'll just…"

Victor gave a low laugh.

"He does it every time," he said, "nobody responds but JJ."

"It's clear you don't understand the situation, and he's found new allies: Minako-sensei and Mira," Yuuri said. "Things are about to get really greasy."

"Oh!" Viktor yelled, "Then we don't want to join in." After he said that, he fell silent again, and Yuuri didn't know how to reopen the conversation, so they both fell silent.

Yuuri sniffed the air.

"It's hydrangea." He pointed to the air and said, in fact, the scent of hydrangea came from the residential area not far away.Victor sniffed too.

"It seems to be." He said, "It's not as good as the one planted by Hiroko."

He brings up Yuuri's mother, which reminds Yuuri of something new.

"Well... thank you." He said suddenly, "invite them to... I mean..." He didn't know how to express this feeling, and was at a loss for words, but Victor just smiled magnanimously.

"I just think they won't want to miss it." Victor said, "I won't want to miss it."

"Yeah, that's right..." Yuuri murmurs, Victor's tone is so gentle, it's as if whatever Yuuri says he'll just say yes, it's drunk with the June night, the smell of alcohol in the air.

"But you didn't," Yuuri said, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Of course." Victor said, still with the same expression.The two stood still for a while, Yuuri remembered his purpose for coming out.

"that……"

"Yuuri..."

The two of them glanced at each other in surprise, their voices staggered and dispersed in the air.

"You go first." Victor said, making a gentlemanly gesture.Yuuri blushed and rubbed his hands together awkwardly.

"Okay," he said, "I want to say...I want to say...I want to ask JJ about Lilia's whereabouts tomorrow."

Victor looked a little disappointed, but just for a moment, he adjusted his expression immediately. "Oh!" he said, "that's good." It sounded a little insincere.

"But I don't think he might know," Yuuri said, "I feel...I feel like he's not the kind that Lillia would like."

"...Indeed." Victor laughed, "They're all megalomaniacs."

"You have the nerve to say..." Yuuri muttered, "I want to say... this is the last target, if you can't find her..."

"If we can't find her, we should go home." Victor said, he coughed, "About our agreement..."

"That's all I wanted to say." Yuuri cut him off quickly, "I wanted to say... we didn't have to be like that, being strangers or something, that was stupid, that was my piss."

Victor looks like he's been told Christmas is coming early, his eyes light up.

"what do you mean……"

"I mean..." Yuuri looked around, not knowing what to say, "I mean... I'd love to be your friend, I mean, go on... I'm having a great time... …In the future, if you feel lonely, sad, or just have nothing to do, we can also play games and watch movies like this, which is good.”

He looked up, but Victor didn't seem as happy as he thought, in fact, his brow furrowed.

"What does that mean?" Victor asked, sounding like he was asking, "Is that what you mean if I'm feeling fine... if I'm feeling fine, I can't go to you?"

"I'm not..." Yuuri stammered, he didn't know what pissed off Viktor, but that's what he meant, "I mean...I said...I actually...I meant to say , I know that dealing with new people is hard work, and every time you get to know someone, there is a little more risk of getting hurt, I just want to say...don't be afraid of this risk, because if you don't take the risk, you never will There will be a chance to meet someone who deserves it... If you're tired of the process and want to talk to an old friend, I'm here."

After he finished speaking, he raised his eyes and glanced at Victor, who looked even angrier—when Victor was angry, the bridge of his nose would wrinkle near his eye sockets, which looked a little scary.

"So you're saying," Victor said slowly, "you make me a...safe haven? Are you my what, backup friend? Healing friend?" He took a step forward, aggressively, "I thought you said you didn't like that?"

"That's not what I meant..." Yuuri said, but he didn't know how to explain it, "I meant... well, I don't really care." He finally said in self-defeating, "I don't hate being a... safe haven that much something, it's just..."

"Just what?" Victor asked aggressively. "Just don't disturb your life? Find someone to make it easy, so you can get on with your life?"

"I didn't mean that!" Yuuri yelled, unbelievable that they were talking calmly a few minutes ago, and now those quiet moments are gone, "I mean..." He didn't know how to explain it , if possible, he certainly hoped that Victor would find someone who would make him happy as soon as possible.

The two of them looked at each other angrily, and finally, Victor gave in first, he took a step on his hind legs, lowered his head and scratched his hair.

"God..." he moaned, "That's not what I meant, Yuuri. I'm sorry."

But that's exactly what he was trying to say.Yuuri thought sharply, just like himself.

Victor's patience seemed to be reaching its limit.

Victor tried to smile, but failed.

"What you said seems good," Victor said, "When I hit a wall with others, I came to you to relax..." He said that full of use and embarrassment, but Yuuri didn't think that way .

"I just think if you're upset you can talk to someone..." he explained, "I..."

"But that's not what I want," Victor said.

The two of them stare at each other for another moment, Yuuri's mind spinning.Victor's eyes seemed to be talking, but he just couldn't read them.

"So what do you want?" he asked.

Victor looked down and smiled briefly, he kept licking the corners of his mouth, looking nervous.

"I want..."

The back door of the bar was knocked open, and Yuuri felt annoyed, who interrupted this?

Kenjiro stumbled and rushed in front of the two of them.

"You need to run now," he tells Yuuri breathlessly, "Both of you."

*Phichit says I always choose fish: Some wedding invitations ask guests to choose the main dish, fish or chicken.