[Wei Yong] Looking for Lilia

Victor sat on the only sofa in the backstage lounge, feeling comfortable and relaxed.

He was the only one in the whole backstage who had the leisure and condition to rest his back. Everyone else—including the substitute actors—were making intense preparations, with their backs straight and their faces slightly bruised. Anxiety, the crowd is flowing, Victor and his sofa are like a stone in the river.The backstage was bustling like a vegetable market. From time to time, actors with colorful feather hats and banana leaves on their backs hurried past and cast curious glances at him, but no one would stop and ask him— — like every day this week, the whole troupe was whispering about his real identity, but no one came forward to bother him.

Viktor spread his hands, allowing himself to enjoy the poor sofa more thoroughly.He knew he must look out of place.

Yes, on the one hand, he, Viktor Nikiforov, is the mastermind behind this magnificent spectacle, not only the one that will be staged in an hour and a half, but all that is going on here. Everything about it: he is like an ambitious politician who boldly uses life as a stage to stage a wonderful drama.Under his careful design, each living person was sent to the proper place by him and played the role he envisioned. It took two full years to arrange all this - and now is the climax moment.It is understandable that some people think that he should be more nervous, because he has experienced so much and how many times he almost failed to complete the plan, but he still came here, with his leading actor, he should be more nervous, whether the show can be successful ?What would viewers say?Most importantly, when the show ends, what role should he play as a real director?Questions came one after another, and if anyone other than Victor had been in his seat, he would have been overwhelmed.

But Victor felt really relaxed—yes, he planned all of this, he was like a watchmaker putting together a lot of complicated and weird parts, and now he is testing whether it can get out of the trembling It's time for the first second, but he is not nervous at all, just like a really knowledgeable watchmaker - if he is really knowledgeable, he should know how to make each gear come to the correct position, far away Much more important than the last winding step, or rather—if you've made sure that every step before it went smoothly, there's absolutely no need to worry about the outcome being unsatisfactory.

Yuuri is the most important cog of all, and when Viktor makes sure he's running smoothly and with peace of mind, there's nothing else to worry about.He doesn't have the slightest doubt about Yuuri because he knows - probably the only person in the world who knows so well - what Yuuri's true charm is.Yuuri is like a flower that never blooms, and all he has to do is guard him patiently, fertilize and water him, one day the petals will unfold, and it will reveal the beauty that conquers the world.All Victor can do is wait and guard, and after so many years of dereliction of duty, he finally fulfilled his duty as a guard, waiting for the first ray of morning sun to break through the mist and dance on the blooming stamens up.

Just when he closed his eyes contentedly, and was about to rest his eyes and wait for the performance to start, there was a commotion at the door of the lounge. The door was pushed open from the corridor roughly, and several boys who were nervously adjusting their shoulder straps gathered around. There was a cry of displeasure, and as soon as they saw who was coming, the scream of dissatisfaction was silenced: the director, head of the dance troupe, and ruthless dictator Elizabeth Yang stood there, head and shoulders tilted Clasping his phone between them, he looked furious.

"I don't care how long you keep him, or as long as you like! As long as he doesn't interfere with tonight's show, I don't care if he ends up in prison... No, of course I don't have time to fill out any forms!...I don't care at all. I don’t want to file a lawsuit!” She grabbed a staff member of the clothing department and asked with her mouth, “Where’s JJ?” The young clothing designer looked terrified, with cold sweat pouring out of his nose, he kept shaking his head, and Yang was out of breath She threw him away, looking even worse, and she didn't know what to say on the other end of the phone, her voice raised more than an octave, almost screaming: "I don't care if you want to prosecute!" She Roared, "I don't want to know if the shit tax money is wasted, let him not show up in front of me tonight, just do it later!...What I want, I want to know where the fuck is my ex-boyfriend!" She hung up the phone angrily, and ripples along her fingers appeared on the screen with great force.She raised her eyes and saw Victor sitting on the sofa, enjoying the mango smoothie, and she rushed towards him like a lioness.

"Hey——" Victor raised his head and greeted her warmly, which made Yang's anger a little less. She walked in front of Victor, her high heels stepped on the tiles and made a scary stamping sound, and she hugged her arms. , took a deep breath.

"See JJ?" she asks, forcing a half-smile as she fiddles with the hair around her ears and clinks the bracelet on her hand.

"No, isn't he answering the phone?"

"No answer." Yang said, "I don't know where the person died, but the damn police station insists on calling and asking questions at this time..."

"What do they want to know?"

"There was a guy who ran before, Tommy—or Thomas, his driver's license said that, but he insisted on saying his name was Victor, and he dyed his hair white, I don't know who he is... She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, he was very angry that he was not selected, and he made up a lot of things in his mind. He drank too much this afternoon and ran to the coffee shop to make a big noise. I made a big fuss, said that I would break the news to the magazine, and beat up two field managers... The people in the coffee shop called the police, and now the police station called and asked me if I wanted to sue—are they kidding me? If every Every guy who threatens me gives me a dollar, I'm richer than Kim Kardashian now-" She looked anxious and angry, talking faster than usual, like a machine gun, Kenjiro from her Passing behind him, she suddenly slapped him on the back, "Straighten your back!" She growled, "My actor isn't crooked—where the hell is JJ??? ??"

"I saw him go to the dressing room just now." Kenjiro said, "Yuuri is already there—" Before he finished speaking, Yang's figure was gone, and even though she was wearing [-]cm high heels, Victor couldn't tell anyone Can act faster than her.Her afterimage seemed to remain in the air.Viktor sighed and smiled at Kenjiro, who was sweating nervously—every time the kid met his eyes, Viktor felt like he was an older and grumpy grandfather himself. , Scared the child tremblingly.

"Am I that scary?" He asked wonderingly, Kenjiro looked more nervous, and sweat wet his clothes on his chest.

"I like—like Yuuri," he stammers, "Yuuri—like you."

So I'm really a grandfather.Victor thought.But he deliberately wanted to tease this nervous young man, but before he could open his mouth, the sofa next to him sank heavily, and a warm man sat down next to Victor, and put him on over his shoulder.

"Good evening, Jean." Victor said calmly, "Yang was—looking for you just now."

JJ nodded with a grin, and he said to Kenjiro: "Thank you buddy, and do me a little favor - go to the door and keep Yang out, if she appears, you will yell."

Judging from Kenjiro's expression, he thought JJ was asking him to die, but he obediently complied.Victor turned to JJ, frowning—JJ was still wearing a comfy, scruffy tracksuit that looked like a Christmas tree, and the show was less than seven or ten minutes away.

"Yang will kill you," Kenjiro said to JJ with absolute certainty once he walked away, "and in a slow and painful way."

"Okay, okay, I'll talk about that later." JJ said, and the last few dawdling girls also left the lounge, leaving only the male lead in the room - and his nominal substitute.Kenjiro closed the door for them from the outside. "Listen, I have something to tell you."

"Go ahead," Viktor said, though he didn't feel like he'd risk anything at this moment, unless he meant to say that a hundred nuclear warheads were heading their way. JJ smiled. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.Victor knew what was inside without a second glance, and only one piece of jewelry deserved the treatment, and only one piece of jewelry held equal status in the hearts of men and women. JJ carefully opened the box, revealing a dazzling sapphire ring.He looks at Victor, as if waiting for his comment.

"Oh—" Victor said dryly, clutching his chest, "but our marriage will not be happy."

"Fuck you." JJ cursed, and he put the ring away, "How is it? Is it the type she would like?"

"I can't say that," Victor said, "You have sent it so many times, and you have the most say."

JJ smirked at Victor. "You're dead inside," he said. "Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

"If you're showing off," Victor said, "then I really need to talk to you about the art of showing off happiness—after the performance." He glanced at the wall clock, and another 10 minutes passed, and now even he A little anxious, but JJ is still unhurried and has a city in his chest, which makes him start to suspect that things are more than that simple. "Is there anything else?"

JJ1 looked at him and shook his head from side to side, "Fortunately, you are beautiful," he said, "otherwise your wooden fish head is really hopeless." It was the first time Victor heard such an evaluation, and almost laughed out loud.

"Uh, thanks?" he said, and JJ waved his hand generously.

"If she agrees this time," JJ said seriously, "this will be the fourth time we've been together—"

"It's still the same sentence, you really have a deep misunderstanding of Xiu Xingfu..."

JJ holds up a hand, signaling that he's obviously finished by himself.

"The first time I met her, we were both still wearing crotch pants," JJ said. The hair, the tips of the braids bouncing up and down in the air. At that moment, there was a voice in my heart saying, 'This is her, this is the woman I want to spend my life with'. I know what you mean, yes , she has been in the cheerleading team, and she is still at the top of the tower - I will show you the photos later."

For Victor, the desire to know what his old friend would look like in a cheerleading uniform didn't overwhelm his confusion about the moment.He glanced at the clock again.

"Omitting the middle process, the next thing you need to know is that we were together in our second year of high school. It was a very happy time. I am almost sure that we love each other deeply. With that British guy As happy as Shakespeare wrote, I'm pretty sure I've found my soul mate."

"Have you really read Shakespeare..." Victor muttered, he seemed to catch something from JJ's story, but quickly missed it.

"Then we went to college, you know, met Leo, and you bastard, and we started doing shows and being discovered and favored and criticized for nothing...and then, uh, you know, just the two of us The first breakup, do you know what happened?"

"If I say I know, will you lose face?"

"You stone-hearted bastard," JJ cursed, "just like you guys like that bang-bang Vulcan. Listen, the next thing—'we' happened, so we broke up."

"Wow," Victor said, nodding, "that's the only thing that's illogical*."

"Go ahead and be sarcastic, but you know I'm telling the truth," JJ said, "It was a weird time, we were going through a lot all of a sudden, and every day, we were becoming new people, But our relationship is still stuck in the past - we are very naive, and it is already difficult to maintain a high school relationship, especially because we have a habit of competing with each other. Too many changes, our relationship can't adapt to the new self, or Say, we haven't matured enough to be sure that the other person is 'that person'. When you don't know anything, if you like someone, you will think of eternity; but when you start to touch one side of eternity, Well, forever starts looking like a piece of shit."

"Only you can describe the Disney ending so disgusting." Victor murmured, but he didn't look at his watch this time, he seemed to hear something, but he couldn't be sure that was JJ's original intention.

"So we broke up, she went to LA, she came back four months later, I proposed to her, she said yes, and after another six months, we couldn't see each other about the red carpet band, so we blew again, She went to Paris, and when she came back, we made up again, and then of course it blew up, and she went to Shanghai—you know what I'm saying?"

Victor says, "Young contributed to the rise in the airline's stock price, go ahead." JJ grimaces.

"It seemed, like—we've been on and off," JJ said, "but every time we were apart, I felt like I knew her a little better, and I grew up a little bit myself, and I just It is becoming more and more certain that the only person who can be with me for the rest of my life is her. What does this tell us?"

"Have you considered coupletherapy?" Victor asked, "You should."

"If you'll use your brains and cut down on the wisecracks," JJ said gravely, "you'll see more of me—Elizabeth and I—we—she was my first love, just like you and, You know."

Victor wasn't sure he got it all, but he couldn't say he didn't get it either.He just didn't speak.

"I guess what I'm saying is, it's okay if it doesn't end well with your first love. How many people walk down the aisle with their teenage lover? But—but that's not a bad thing, you know? Because even You were lucky enough to be with that person at that time, and you will most likely still be like me and Yang, because we were children at the time, and children didn't know what they wanted, and they would always do wrong things-but that doesn't mean Then we should be afraid, you know? Mistakes are forgiven, every mistake brings us closer to a better version of ourselves, and you will be more sure of what you really want, which is a good thing, you Just—don't let the past scare you."

Victor stared at his knees and said nothing - countless times, imagining what would have happened if the accident hadn't happened, what if he had been more careful, patient and waited, if he had been as planned Waiting for Yuuri to grow up and come back to him, what will happen to them?He has to admit that a part of himself thinks they're going to have a better future, especially after hearing that Yuuri had feelings for him too, he's always felt like their life - if things didn't go wrong at that point, there was nothing between them. It won't be what it is now, but JJ is telling him that even if he is patient, even if he is cautious, even if he makes all the choices right and makes every effort, he may still be like the current JJ, constantly possessing and Lost, and then continue to pursue?He never thought about it.

"I'm not sure—" he said, "I'm not sure if it's—the same as you guys. Yuuri doesn't need me anymore."

"Why do you have to be needed?" JJ asked back, "Why can't you be bold and go after him like every other man and let him know 'you need him'?" JJ put his legs down, "So now, Do you want to sit in the audience and watch me kiss my thumb awkwardly, or do you want to change into a costume yourself and win back your boy's heart?"

*It's only logical.Spock's catchphrase.