[Wei Yong] Looking for Lilia

Imagine that you are sleeping - you are sleeping deeply and you start dreaming.

You rise, or you sink, the brain cells are actively beating and rubbing, and you start to fly like a bird, swim like a fish, you can do anything.

Since when did you catch yourself dreaming?

The answer to this question, according to Katsuki Yuuri, begins when the dream begins when he finds himself standing behind a curtain in costume and ballet shoes, surrounded by a crowd of similarly dressed people. Surrounding him, he found that he was actually the lead dancer.But that's not right, he opened his mouth to remind people that something is wrong, I'm not qualified - at this moment the music started, the lights came on, the curtains started to part left and right, the applause was like a tide, Then he suddenly realized, ah, this is a dream.

That's not a good sign, because once you realize you're dreaming, it's not too long before you're out of the dream.It means your consciousness is waking up, your dull, reserved, realistic consciousness, passing through the dream like a submarine surfacing - it's waking up.

Katsuki Yuuri opened his eyes and found that he was sitting in the passenger seat of a certain car. The midday sun reflected on the hood of the car, almost blinding his eyes. His hands were handcuffed to the window above the window. On the hands, the neck hurts as if it was broken due to poor sleeping position.He groaned and closed his eyes again.

Oh great, another nightmare.He thought to himself, handcuffs, this is something new.What's down there, a truck, coming out of nowhere, smashing this damn little jeep into pieces?He held his breath and waited for a few seconds, but nothing appeared, only the sound of vehicle tires rolling over the asphalt road approached from far away, and then slowly faded away. There seemed to be disturbing jazz music and voices coming from farther away. Any sign of a retrograde, unruly truck rampage. Z At this moment, just like when he suddenly realized that he was dreaming, he suddenly realized that there was something missing in this dream.

Yes, compared to the nightmares he's had in the past, there's something missing, one person missing—the driver's seat is empty, when there's always two people, him, Yuuri, and another—

"Hey, that sucks." The driver's door was opened, and a man came in, smelling like fried chips and hand sanitizer from the restroom of a fast food restaurant. His voice sounded strangely familiar, and he Leaning in Yuuri's direction, "Are you awake, Yuuri?"

You know, in Yuuri's dream, no one asks "Are you awake?", it's always the truck coming out of nowhere and smashing him to pieces, so - he opens his eyes, he's very Sure, it's not a dream.

"What—" He jerked himself awake, realizing that he was chained to the passenger seat of a car with a pair of cold handcuffs, instead of lying in the comfort of his dorm room with a bunch of strangers Among strangers, it smelled like salted fish soaked in beer - last night was his roommate's birthday, they had a small party, but word spread around the campus, and soon their tiny apartment It's packed with crazy college students and everyone brings their own drinks, and you don't want to be alone in such an environment, or as Phichit screamed at him: "Don't abandon me!" So Yuuri also Quickly drunk, for the first time in four years, but hey, what the hell? Graduate Y's offer has been obtained, and all the exams are over, he can indulge once in a while.

—and it ended up being in a strange jeep with your hands handcuffed, which is so good that the National Temperance Association should put this in their brochures. — and that's not the worst.

He opened his eyes, a head of sheer silver-gray hair came into view, and with a groan, he closed them again, and after a while, he opened them, screaming as hard as he could: "Victor," He smiled stiffly, "I'm afraid you have to explain to me," he moved his hands, and the fine iron made a clattering sound, "What the hell is going on?!"

The person sitting in the driver's seat, Viktor Nikiforov, is a professor at Yuuri School and more than that, wearing a sports sweater which is rare, he looks less than 25 years old, his hair is neatly combed, and his handsome face has a smile on his face. With a smile warmer than the sun, he was rubbing open a McDonald's take-out paper bag, when he heard this, he raised his head and glanced at Yuuri.

"Um, what?" he asks, "don't swear, honey. Fries? We have hamburgers, chicken wings, fries and pies, and Coke, of course, sugar-free, considering you may have On a diet—"

"I'm not talking about your damn fast food!" Yuuri growled, starting to sense when he found himself parked in the parking lot of a gas station he didn't recognize at all and what looked like a freeway— There is a blood vessel throbbing on the temple. "Here," he said, making more noise, shaking his hands, "what the hell is going on?"

"Well," Victor replied with a straw in his mouth, "Okay, no French fries, my God, your low air pressure is really serious, your mother should take you to the hospital, it is possible for you to lose your temper like you and get liver cancer after 40 years old Sex is very high."He unwrapped the burger and put it to Yuuri's mouth, "Come on, your favorite - double cheese. Come on - I won't give up." He shook the burger, fawning With a smile, Yuuri stared at him, and after a while, he lowered his head and took a bite of the burger.

"That's right." Victor praised, "Good boy, do you want a Coke?"

Yuuri chewed, his eyes were not as fierce as before, his blood pressure was gradually recovering, and his sanity was also awakening, and he began to realize who he just yelled at. "If you'll let me go," he muttered, "I can drink it myself.—I'm going to break my hand, Victor."

Victor thought for a moment. "I'm afraid I can't, Yuuri dear," he said, "I'm afraid if I let you go, you'll punch me in the nose, or worse, try to run away—before you get rid of that danger ,no."

"You—" Yuuri felt the anger rising again, but he controlled it this time, because now his sanity was back, and he knew that Viktor Nikiforov was someone who would never take any threats when he decided When something happens and you want to change it, it's easier to threaten loudly than to beg as much as you can, although most of the time no matter what Yuuri does, it won't sway Viktor even a dime, "But I'm tired, Viktor, I drank too much last night and I—where the hell are we?"

"I know," Victor said, continuing to hold the hamburger to Yuuri's mouth without complaint, and they communicated in the strange posture of maintaining a feedable animal in the zoo. He has no tendency to improve at all, "God You were so drunk when I found you in your dorm room you were laying in the bathtub with Indian patterns all over your face, you know how hard it took me to wash them off?"

"So," Yuuri drawled, swallowing a mouthful of his burger, "I was—in my own apartment until this morning? You—" he was flaming again, "you put me— —You kidnapped me?!"

"Hey!" Victor said, looking hurt, "I think that's a serious word, and I just bathed you and got you out of the boozy den—if you call that kidnapping," he said. He showed a smile, "That's kidnapping."

"..." For about ten minutes, Yuuri didn't say anything, just Viktor finished the burger bite by bite, and even drank a few sips of Diet Coke, then he watched Victor tie up the paper bag and throw it away On the back seat of the car, there was still a familiar luggage bag, which belonged to Yuuri himself.

"Okay," Yuuri said, and Viktor leaned over to fasten his seat belt, resting his head on Yuuri's chest, the smell of peppermint shampoo hitting his nose, which made Yuuri close his eyes and turn around Start to avoid yourself from doing something else - out of line. "Can you let me go now?" The car started.

"No," Victor replied, "unless I'm sure you won't jump."

"I jump—" Yuuri was stunned, he could only stare angrily at the poodle hanging on the rearview mirror, Victor noticed his gaze, he glanced at the poodle and smiled .

"You gave it to me, remember?" he said, "at the mall—"

"Claw machine, of course I remember, you're the worst person I've ever seen to catch dolls." Yuuri muttered, everything was as clear as yesterday, it was the end of summer when he was 14, and Victor took him to the mall They played happily all day, watching movies, eating ice cream, and playing video games. When they passed the claw machine, Victor saw a few piles of small poodle toys, so Yuuri grabbed them out for him—once Succeeded - and then, just as he was putting the toy in Viktor's hand, Viktor suddenly decided this was a good chance - tossing the news to Yuuri that he was leaving town tomorrow to go to college somewhere far away head, and he did just that.

"Oh, you're being unfair to me by saying that," Victor said, "I'm just as good at grabbing dolls as any normal person, and you're so good at it."

He's talking like it's a special thing to be able to grab the top piece of junk out of a pile and throw it into an oversized hole, and he can say that about a lot of things, as long as this It's Yuuri who does it, and doesn't care that it's actually everywhere, which kind of coaxes Yuuri into kindergartners and it's annoying to the core.He fell silent once, which was actually pretty comical considering his position—hands held high, handcuffed to handles.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" he asked. "Can you just say it? I've got a bunch of reports to write and bags to—"

"I'm your teacher, Yuuri." Victor said slightly reproachfully, "You're in my major, and all my colleagues are your teachers, so I know all your homework has been handed in, and I'm going to Go through your dormitory, and your luggage is just behind the door."

"—" Yuuri was silent for a moment, and continued to struggle, "I haven't booked a flight home yet—"

"I know you always buy your plane ticket home three weeks in advance." Victor said, the accusation growing in his words, "Your mother taught you well."

So Yuuri found himself running out of excuses—end of term, like Victor said, he was free, but even so—"But I didn't tell my roommate," he said, "Phichit would think I lost , he will call the police, he is the most law-abiding person I have ever met, you will not want to provoke him. He will call the police for anything serious."

"Your law-minded roommate gets a note with your own handwriting explaining that you're going on a wholesome road trip with your best friend."

"My own hands—you imitated my handwriting?!" Yuuri couldn't help but shouted again, "How—when did you—when did you learn my handwriting?!"

"Oh, it was about an hour or so after I had this thought," Victor shrugged, "It's not that hard, you know, just as straight and straight as possible—oh, don't be sad, I don't Use it to break the law! Just write a letter to your roommate and parents so they don't worry about where you're going—"

"My father—you wrote a letter to my parents?!" Yuuri yelled. "Are you crazy? What—what did you say?"

"What else? Of course explaining that you're staying for a while, doing some preparation for your upcoming graduate career, working in the lab, and impressing your professors - which is true in a way , right?"

"Not at all!" Yuuri said, "You, how could you—" He took a deep breath, "You're not my professor!" Victor's profile took on a hesitant expression, and suddenly Yuuri Realized something, "oh my god oh my god," he felt like throwing up, double cheeseburger rolling in his belly, "you—you tampered with my application???? I chose cut Professor Restino, you made me your graduate student?"

"Hey, not tampering!" Victor declared, "but—my program is more suitable for you, earning credits is easier, and Celestino, he has more graduate students than wool on sheep, you will— —"

"Not outstanding?" Yuuri asked. "Mediocre? What are you trying to say? Do you think I need credits from you to give me money to graduate or something?"

"Of course not!" Victor said, "What are you thinking—I'm just saying that you may have more competitive pressure, and you—you know—although you have excellent abilities, but—the ability to withstand pressure is average."

"I—" Yuuri blushed, half angry and half poked at the sore spot, "Then you can't just change other people's applications—what the hell did you do, you've only been in this school for three years, Is he suddenly the king of this school?"

"I don't think it's appropriate to use such a feudal and centralized vocabulary to describe others in such an academic paradise," Victor said. "Besides, are you someone else? You are not, you are mine—you are mine." Growing up, what's wrong with me giving you a little extra help?"

"The bad thing is I don't want to be your grad student!" Yuuri said, "What's the reason? I'm not interested in your subject, I can't read it, and my ordinary little brain can't handle your world-leading job , I—I just want to go to Celestino's laboratory and be a normal student."

They're silent for a moment, Victor's car pulls through an exit, and Yuuri watches it fly by in front of him, feeling hopeless.

"What the hell are you going to do?" he asked, "Victor, what are you—what are you going to do?"

Victor held the steering wheel quietly and drove out of the parking lot. This was the first time he saw Yuuri, and after a quick glance, his eyes returned to the road, as if just to make sure that the handcuffs were still intact.

"I just wanted to spend some time with you," Victor said, "like when you were a kid, remember? You always followed me around and gave me your jelly and said you were going to marry me— "

"Oh—" Yuuri moaned in annoyance, "that was years ago—can you please leave it alone—"

As if his objection had finally worked, Viktor fell silent for a moment.

"I just thought it was a good time." He finally said, "I was happy, you were happy, we did a lot of amazing things, I-" He took a deep breath, "I don't know if it was mine Delusion, I feel like you've been avoiding me since, you know, since I've been teaching at this school."

Yuuri didn't respond.He didn't know how to answer Victor's accusation. It can't be said that the topic of the old days didn't have ripples in his heart, but how beautiful it was, how embarrassing the situation was at this moment. He just wanted to suddenly become the Hulk and earn Uncuffed and fled far away.

"That's all very well," he said, "but I'm not a child anymore, and you don't have to watch over me—as for the rest—" He thought for a moment, "I don't want people to think I have any personal relationship with the professor, You know."

He thinks this reason is still acceptable. At the end of his freshman year, Victor suddenly transferred from his original school to his current position. He is a legend in his own right. He is only four years older than Yuuri. A well-behaved freshman with long hair, he was the lead dancer in all the school's dance performances. There was a bright road ahead for him to become a dancer, but everything changed overnight. He cut his hair, stopped dancing, and began to specialize in academics—and in just a few years, he has achieved the status and achievements that many people have struggled for decades since they were 13 years old.This man—Yuuri should have known this earlier—his life didn't play out according to common sense.He is so good, but he suddenly moved from one side of the country to the other, gave up his existing position, and came to Yuuri's school to start from scratch. You don't want to have anything to do with this kind of person, and it's normal not to be gossiped by your classmates thing.But Victor obviously sees it differently.

"I didn't know you cared so much about other people's opinions." Victor said, sounding a little cold, but more hurt, "I just—I remember—you used to—"

"That was before," Yuuri said, "a lot of things changed, remember?"

They stopped talking again, and after a long time, three more exits flew past Yuuri before Victor spoke.

"You don't want to be with me," he said, with a tone of affirmation. "I can understand that."

"…" Yuuri opened his mouth, a rebuttal was on his lips, but then he thought, hey, why should I rebut?This might be a good chance, since he's been avoiding Victor since he's been here, he's never tried to talk to him so openly, maybe it's a good chance that Viktor's - and Yuuri's own - Life is back on track.

His silence seems to have assisted Victor's guess, and before that he might have been just probing, but this time it was a final decision. Victor tried to smile, but failed. He shook his head and pulled a strand of bang After shaking his head, when he spoke again, the cloak of feigned ease was finally torn off, he sounded a little impatient, "But we must be together," he said, "Do you understand? If you and I If I keep my distance, I can't, I can't make it up to you—"

"But I don't want you to make it up!" Yuuri yelled in disgust, his heart was stabbed by Victor's words, and now it was beating wildly on reflex, "I just want you to stop meddling in my business!"

The last smirk faded from Viktor's face, he still didn't look at Yuuri, stared at the road, if Yuuri hadn't known him since he was in the walker, maybe he would have ignored the clenched rear groove Teeth and hard jawline, he might think he's just angry.

But no, he did know Victor from the toddler, and until he was 15, Victor was his best friend, the person he trusted the most, so it was clear to him that Victor wasn't mad, but —but very sad.

This made his heart feel uncomfortable as if he had been hit by a storm.

"I'm not—" He stammered and tried to recover, knowing that what he did was meaningless, in fact, it wasn't just what he said today, maybe Victor had already realized that he was so smart, there was no reason why he couldn't So many phone calls that were deliberately ignored, so many times he pretended not to see that he understood something, he just— until Yuuri actually threw it in his face, pretended not to see it.

No matter how hard they try, Viktor and Yuuri, the trajectories of both of their lives, will never go back to the way they used to be.