old enemy riding a bamboo horse

If I was young, I would advance and retreat

I won't let you suffer for me

Many years later, when Lu Henglin really felt that he had become mature enough, he couldn't help but miss Xia Chengqi and was not qualified to bother him anymore, he couldn't help but think sadly, if he was as strong as he looked Maturity is really as young and promising as everyone said, whether their results will be different.

Xia Chengqi didn't know that, in fact, he had always had an inferiority complex hidden in his heart.

The person he loves is so good, he must use all his efforts to think of a way to be worthy of him. When he met him again, he once deeply regretted that he had been ignorant and indulging in his heart for such a long time. The pain is unrestrained.

If he knew there was going to be a day, he would have done everything possible to be good enough early on.

He has always hated Xie Qing so much, and he has to admit that she is a woman who is so outstanding that he secretly frightens him. This powerful role model has always influenced Xia Chengqi.

He was very worried. Just as Xie Qing was so strong that one day he no longer needed his father's aura, Xia Chengqi would follow in her footsteps and realize that love is only a part of life, and he has never had any aura, except for his love for him at first. That bit of sincerity is useless.

So from the first day he became aware of his feelings, he has been trying to use his feelings to influence Xia Chengqi, hoping to completely take him as his own.

From the moment Xia Chengqi chose Stanford, he knew that he had already planted a little demon in his heart, but he tried hard to convince himself that love means knowing respect, knowing how to consider each other, and knowing how to let go appropriately.

So he suppressed himself hard, and could only work hard secretly, trying to catch up with those almost unattainable years. He wanted to become stronger than Xie Qing, so that she would no longer be able to influence Xiaoqi.

The second heavy blow was that Xiaoqi chose to continue her graduate studies because of Xie Qing.

At that time, he had already entered Xingyuan, because he had the idea of ​​becoming stronger at the fastest speed, so he was extremely busy every day at that time, and he did not dare to slack off at all. Hearing his voice, he might not be able to hold on one day.

He didn't want Xiao Qi to give up his future for him, but he couldn't help expressing his miss.

One day, he sent a video and Xia Chengqi didn't respond. This was the usual appointment time, and he felt a little flustered because he heard at the headquarters that Xie Qing, who had originally returned from Europe, had transferred to the United States.

In the past, he only cared about Xiaoqi's life, so he had his roommate's contact information. Lu Henglin couldn't hold back his suspicion, and knocked sideways at his roommate. The foreign boys went straight to him, and no doubt he mentioned that Xia Chengqi gave up his place in the research institute. things.

At that moment, he knew that he shouldn't, but he felt contemptuously, because he was important enough to Xiao Qi, and he was willing to give up something very important for himself.

He thought he would do everything possible to make up for Xiao Qi, so that he would never have to regret this decision.

But what happened later proved once again Xie Qing's sophistication and her profound influence on Xiaoqi.Lu Henglin checked her entry and exit records and found out that she really went to see Xiaoqi.

Then Xiaoqi changed his decision and chose to continue studying in graduate school.

He couldn't describe how lost and uncomfortable he felt when he learned the truth. He lost again. He had been trying to fight for Xiao Qi, but every time he tried his best, he would end up in complete defeat.

You can never even figure out why you failed.

Isn't he worthy of Xiaoqi's trust?Didn't he say that he is the most important person?

But he couldn't bear to criticize Xiaoqi, because Xiaoqi's haggard look in front of him during the cold war made him feel bad, and he made up his mind on that island, no matter what, he would never make Xiaoqi suffer like this again, even if disputes were unavoidable You must also restrain yourself, no matter whose problem it is, you must take the initiative to reconcile.

He could only pretend to be magnanimous, and told Xiao Qi with a smile that he could support him as long as he studied.

But when Xiao Qi couldn't see her, what he thought more was, does Xiao Qi really need him to support him?

Those pains that could not be shared with Xiaoqi turned into unbearable anger in his heart. He began to confront Xie Qing tit for tat in Xingyuan. Do not deal with.

Xie Qing's calm response made him angry and powerless, and his inner demons deepened. He only wanted to be strong, to trample her under his feet, and sometimes he was so cruel that he didn't care about anything.

She had already snatched away her father and made her mother die in depression, so it was impossible for him to allow her to snatch Xiaoqi away.

After his father became seriously ill, he was physically and mentally exhausted. He traveled between the company and the hospital every day, and when he closed his eyes, he would not be able to sleep peacefully because of the pain.

He thought he had a lot of hatred for his father, but at this moment, he realized that there was still so much love.

When his father was sober, most of what he told him were Xingyuan's future arrangements. In fact, when he heard that the position of president was handed over to him, Lu Henglin did not feel the joy of victory, only a desolation.

Why at the end of his life, his father never thought of grabbing his hand and telling him that he couldn't let go of him, what he couldn't let go of, and what he kept telling him was all about Xingyuan.

His father was still dying, but he realized that he seemed to have lost this affection a long time ago.

If there is no Xiao Qi, he is really, too lonely and miserable.

On the day Xiaoqi came back to him, he almost hugged him in the corridor of the ward and told him all his weakness, told him his fear all the time, please stop being influenced by Xie Qing, please only look at himself , Don't let yourself always worry that one day he will leave you.

That day Xiaoqi said that he would bring him dinner, but when he needed to go back to the company to sign the documents, he saw from a distance that Xiaoqi didn't go home at all, but went to see Xie Qing.

His mind was blank, but his heart was sinking rapidly.

When he got home, Xia Chengqi was still asleep, he turned off the alarm clock and sat there watching him in a daze, from the afternoon until dusk fell.

After using it for a long time, I didn't think of how to make him only belong to me.

After Xiaoqi woke up, he couldn't help but ask him what he did after leaving the hospital.

Then he heard Xiao Qi's lie, at that moment, he finally understood the feeling of being heartbroken, and even couldn't help thinking darkly, how many times Xiao Qi had lied to himself before this.

He couldn't restrain the fragility in his heart, hugged him and begged him, "I only have you in this world."

So please don't lie to me, don't be influenced by Xie Qing, give me a little more time, I will always have more abilities, and I will always be more worthy of your trust than her, don't leave me.

But he couldn't say more, he could only ask him almost humblely, "Will you always be by my side?"

When Xiaoqi said yes, he was willing to close his eyes and believe it. He tried his best not to think about what he saw today, not to think about why Xie Qing saw Xiaoqi at this moment when the whole group was in turmoil.

After his father passed away, he dealt with everything calmly, but a part of his body had been turned into ashes, blown away by the wind and never put back together again.

When the second will was read out, he finally understood why Xie Qing saw Xiao Qi, and Xiao Qi's averted eyes confirmed this point.

Lu Henglin felt that there were a little more places where he was wiped out.

But he still just wants to hug Xiao Qi, he can choose to close his eyes and ignore them, as long as the last moment does not come and Xiao Qi is still by his side, he is willing to believe.

Thinking of himself at that time after a long time, Lu Henglin finally understood that he thought he had just become calm and resolute, but in fact at that time he was already on the verge of madness because of his inner demons.

When Xie Qing made a serious mistake in decision-making, he could no longer consider the stability of Xingyuan, and only one thought remained in his mind. He wanted to use this opportunity to completely defeat Xie Qing, let her repay the pain his mother had suffered, and let her She can no longer control Xiao Qi.

During that time, he even hired a private detective to monitor Xie Qing's every move.

When Tan Bin was persuaded by Xie Qing to stand on her side, Lu Henglin's anger was on the verge of getting out of control. Even though the battle was on the verge of getting out of control, Jiang Yuan was also persuading him to stop the loss in time, but he stubbornly refused to listen and just wanted to put all his eggs in one basket.

At this time, the private detective sent him a photo of Xie Qing meeting Xiao Qi.

In the photo, there is luggage next to Xiaoqi, although he can't see his expression clearly, how could Lu Henglin recognize him by mistake.

That was the last straw that broke the camel's back, the last knife that cut off the rope that binds his inner demons. In the pain of almost suffocation, he only wanted to get it. He didn't even know that Xiaoqi had returned to China, but Xie Qing immediately saw him.

Why, Xiaoqi clearly said that she is the most important, but always chooses Xie Qing at critical moments?

On the way home, Lu Henglin felt that his eyes were congested, his eyes were blood red, he was angry and in pain, he was like a trapped animal, unable to think carefully about anything.

As soon as he entered the door, he didn't want to hear anything from Xiao Qi, he didn't want to hear him lie to himself, because every word of Xiao Qi's lies was heartbreaking to him.

He couldn't help but push Xiao Qi to the bed, eager to prove that he belonged to him by entanglement with his body, but the pain in his heart was too painful, so he couldn't control his strength at all, and he almost wanted to let Xiao Qi feel his pain Know.

He knew that he was too rough and out of control, but he couldn't restrain his wild thoughts.

When it was all over, he felt tired and sad, lying there, waiting for Xiao Qi to give him his final judgment.

Xiao Qi finally opened his mouth to talk about the dispute between him and Xie Qing. For Xie Qing, Xiao Qi couldn't wait to persuade him to stop on the bed after the two had just become intimate.

Lu Henglin felt that his heart was ashamed at that moment. He thought that Xiao Qi understood how much pain Xie Qing had brought him, but in the end, no matter how hard he tried, Xiao Qi still went back to defend Xie Qing.

He frantically forced Xiao Qi to promise to choose him, but he waited until he couldn't help it, everything in front of his eyes was blurred by the mist, and he could only vaguely see, Xiao Qi shook his head to himself with a pale face.

No matter how hard he tried, even if Fang Xia pleaded with his self-esteem, even if he bet on his feelings to force him, he still gave up on himself.

The last string in his mind was broken, he lost his mind, and almost crazily said all the cruel words he could think of, even if his heart was stabbed with blood, he still wanted to make Xiaoqi feel the pain.

Xiao Qi was provoked by him and punched him, but Lu Henglin didn't feel any pain at all, because his heart hurt so much, he felt numb and happy when he was beaten.

"It was a breakup just now, let's end it."

Lu Henglin remembered that he was lying on the bed and watched Xiao Qi put on his clothes with cold eyes. He actually saw him shaking very badly, but at that time all his thoughts were occupied by resentment. He knew that he was cruel, but it seemed that some demon had snatched his soul , unable to make the right choice at all.

In the following many years, he regretted countless times, why he had to speak out his words at that time, and inflicted his own pain on Xiaoqi, why didn't he feel sorry for him as before, and controlled himself not to hurt him, why didn't he Give him a chance to speak.

But at that time, he was immersed in his own wounds, and he didn't know that the back view that day was the last time he saw Xiao Qi's appearance many years later.

And that parting sentence full of bitterness was the last sentence Xiao Qi left for him.