What is the experience of wearing in Gouxue Wen?

According to Lu Qi's original plan, he wanted to find out everything and assess the risks before telling Shen Chen'an.But the plan couldn't keep up with the changes. Just after he contacted the institution that conducted the test for Ji Ran and set the date for the results, a sudden phone call successfully broke all his plans-the bank said that Shen Chen'an's mother had been there. They opened a safe there, and now that the 20-year storage period has expired, they called Shen Chen'an to ask him if he needed to renew the lease.

Shen Chenan's first reaction was that this was a fraudulent call. From the perspective of the order of inheriting the relics, even if his mother really saved something in the bank and didn't tell his father when she died, now the safe is due. Shen Mao and Shen Yuanhang should be the ones who notified, and it was his turn in the end.

But when he repeatedly confirmed that the caller was the bank’s official phone number, and the other party said that his mother’s additional requirements back then were not to notify others of the existence of the safe when she died, and the other was to transfer the ownership of the safe if she died. When giving it to her youngest son, Shen Chen'an had another hunch that it might really be something his mother left her.

She committed suicide. Although she was in a poor mental state at the time, she was still awake after all. It is not impossible to go to the bank to deposit something and set a time to hand it over to her son.

Shen Chen'an went to the bank suspiciously, and after confirming his identity, he successfully opened the safe and saw what his mother had left for him.

-

Lu Qi had been a little restless all day long. After returning home, he saw Shen Chen'an on the carpet next to the floor-to-ceiling windows, and then he became a little more at ease. When he looked carefully, he found that there was nothing in front of him except a notebook, and his heart skipped a beat.

Lu Qi put his suit jacket and briefcase at the door, walked past Yuxi lightly, pretending to be relaxed and tentatively asked: "Why are you sitting here?"

Shen Chenan pointed to the thick cowhide notebook in his hand and said: "This is my mother's relic I just got today, and it was left to me by name."

If there is something that Lu Qi is most afraid of now, it must be that Shen Chen'an discovered the secret of their family's past again, because every time they talked about the past, nothing good happened, and Lu Qi almost had a psychological shadow about it.

He sat cross-legged next to Shen Chen'an a little stiffly, while looking at his expression, he asked carefully, "Have you read what is written inside?"

"No, I don't know if I should read it." Shen Chen'an turned his head and looked out the window and said, "Actually, I now feel that it is not a good thing to have too much curiosity about the past, you see, if I am not curious Why doesn’t my brother like me? I wouldn’t know that my mother died of depression; if I didn’t explore how she got depression, I wouldn’t know that my father attributed all the things that year to me , the three of us can still maintain a family combination of a good father, an elder son who barely passed the test, and a rebellious and naive younger son."

He spread his hands and said to himself: "Isn't that good?"

"Then you will live your whole life in the shadow of not being liked by your family, even though you have done nothing, and you will always have a psychological barrier that you always think you are unpopular, and that is the real hurdle that you can't get over. It's not your fault, and you are not wrong for exploring the past, you can't be bound by other people's mistakes."

Shen Chenan shook his head wearily and said, "You don't understand."

Lu Qi knelt down behind him, put his chin on his shoulder, and said comfortingly according to his intention: "Then we won't read it, I will help you put it away, and when you are ready I want to know, shall we open it together again?"

Shen Chen'an didn't look back, but looked at the two figures reflected on the glass.Obviously he blocked most of Lu Qi's body, but from the visual point of view, it was Lu Qi who completely covered him, firmly supporting the sky behind him.

Shen Chenan didn't speak, and Lu Qi didn't bother him, the two of them just looked at each other through the floor-to-ceiling windows. To my father, can I sleep well tonight?"

"I can help you warm a cup of milk to help you sleep, or accompany you when you suffer from insomnia."

Shen Chen'an laughed, shook his head helplessly and said: "Lu Qi, you will really spoil me like this." How can there be such a person, no matter what he says or does, he will always be right, and will always be right. Make sense?He is obviously not a very good person, but he has become a perfect existence in his eyes.

Shen Chen'an suddenly wanted to kiss Lu Qi, and he did so.

He turned around and exchanged a wholehearted kiss with Lu Qi in front of the French windows, in front of their familiar scenery and an unknown world. At the end, he lightly licked it and was bitten a bit red and swollen. The lower lip said: "Come and accompany me to open this unknown door."

Lu Qi rubbed the hair of the man in his arms, kissed his forehead and said, "I'll be with you."

-

Shen Chenan put the notebook on the table, bit her lip uncomfortably, and opened the notebook anyway.His mother's handwriting is very good, grand and neat, and it is not difficult to see her seriousness in writing from one stroke to the next.

"On December 1997, 12, I felt uncomfortable at home. The nanny took me to the hospital for an examination and found out that I was three months pregnant. This was my second child. I discussed with the father of the child whether we should stay This unplanned child. The two of us listed many reasons for not wanting him, such as his busy work, my body that has not fully recovered, our two limited police forces... We tried to convince each other, but no one could tell We don’t want his words, so we made a tacit decision to keep him, to keep this surprise, this gift from God.”

Lu Qi glanced at Shen Chen'an nervously and said, "This is the diary your mother left for you?"

Shen Chen'an closed his eyes and said, "Well, let's continue watching."

She basically writes a sentence or two every day, some of which are related to Shen Chenan, and some are purely for her to record what happened that day. The two of them read along and gradually entered the period before Shen Chenan was born. time.

"On January 1, I went to the hospital for a routine check-up. The doctor said that he could already tell the gender of the child. He asked me if I wanted to know, but I refused. This child was an unexpected surprise. I wanted to put this suspense It will not be revealed until the end. When I left the hospital, I almost collided with a woman in the corridor. Fortunately, the passing nurse stopped her in time, so I didn't fall. There are many pregnant women coming and going in the obstetrics and gynecology department. How can there be someone It's a strange woman who is going on a rampage here. I only remembered when I got home. I seem to have seen that woman once. Where is it? Pregnancy has had some impact on my memory. I can't remember something."

"On January 1th, during the birth checkup, everything was normal for the baby. The nurse who accompanied me to get the medicine happened to be the one who supported me last time. The two of us chatted a little longer. She said that the woman who almost hit me last time was also A pregnant woman, the last time she was pregnant, she just got a pregnancy test, and somehow she had a big emotional change, so she almost bumped into me in the corridor. The nurse said that not everyone is looking forward to having a child. I love my kids."

"On January 1, I remembered why I thought that woman looked familiar. One night at the end of November, Shen Mao was out for a party. Yuan Hang's sudden fever frightened me and the nanny. I hurriedly took the child to the hospital while calling him. The phone call brought him back. He drank a lot in the evening, and if it wasn't for an accident at home, he might still be in a coma. After a few days, the two of us found out that he didn't know where he left a custom pen I gave him, I suspected that he fell outside that night when he was drunk, so I asked the boss over there privately. The boss called the hostess and the cleaner who took Shen Mao back to the room that night. They all said they didn’t see it. The commemorative significance of the pen is greater than the price significance, and I can’t search it over and over again, so this matter is over. The woman in the hospital seems to be the wine girl? This matter seems inappropriate Written here, but I don't really want to rewrite it, so that's it."

"A pregnant hostess?" Shen Chen'an read the paper suspiciously and said, "I don't really understand why my mother recorded this matter."

Lu Qi had a bad premonition in his heart, he suppressed the guess and said, "Maybe I just wrote it down by the way?"

"Ah."

The next few months were filled with bits and pieces, basically a complete record of the whole process of her pregnancy with Shen Chen'an.There was the thought of whether to leave him at the beginning, the discomfort of morning sickness, the joy of fetal movement, and the anticipation of naming...

Shen Chen'an read page by page, and couldn't help but get wet.

-

The diary stopped for a few weeks after she gave birth, and when it reappeared, the handwriting was a little different, and the mood shown in the words also changed a lot.

"I took Chen'an to the hospital for an examination today, and I ran into the woman from last time again. Her belly was very big, and it seemed that she was going to give birth in a few days. I calculated the approximate date of her pregnancy. It doesn't feel right."

"Is it my illusion? The more I think about what happened that day, the more I feel something is wrong. I must be thinking wildly. The production has really affected me too much."

"I still feel a little uneasy. I asked Shen Mao what happened that night. He thought about it for a long time before saying that he was too drunk and couldn't remember anything. He said he loved me and told me not to think about it."

……

Every day, she thinks about that girl and that night. She seems to be divided into two people. One is saying that you are thinking wildly now, you should not question your husband indiscriminately, and the other is talking about women. Intuition has always been accurate, where in this world can such a coincidence happen?

She was almost driven crazy by these two voices.

Shen Chen'an quickly flipped through the pages of these words that her mother had repeatedly debated with herself, but stopped involuntarily when a line of words appeared.

"It's his child, I'm sure."

Lu Qi saw this sentence following his line of sight, and the balloon in his heart that was constantly inflated due to the increasingly chaotic words in the notes burst instantly—he seemed to have filled in all the puzzle pieces.

The author has something to say:

I have a feeling that the notes in this chapter were written by me, which is particularly creepy...