Is the cat vest off? [Interstellar]

On the animal planet far away, Ling, the oldest cat, Xiao, is enthusiastically teaching his son the secrets of chasing wives.

"Son, we must keep in mind the family motto of our Ling family: don't play cool with your wife, don't make your wife jealous, give in first when you quarrel, and hold back when your wife beats me.

And - never try to reason with your wife. "

"What do you mean? It's unreasonable, do you just do it?" The little yellow cat Ling Jue glanced at Tiger Ban, feeling that his opinions were contradictory and a little unreliable.

"Hey, why are you so stupid, how can you not know how to be simple?!" Hu Ban looked like he hated iron and steel, and shouted at the sky: "My wife is right!!"

The little yellow cat, Ling Jue, wagged its tail with disdain on its face. "You are a weak husband, a negative teaching material, I will never listen to you!"

The wife made a mistake, of course she has to criticize the education!

This is a matter of principle!

"By the way, old man, you've been begging for perfection, why are you still single?"

"Your fart doesn't even know it smells bad. If it wasn't for you and such a big family who need me to take care of you, the kittens I gave birth to would be able to circle the planet with their tails in their tails."

"Your father sacrificed his life for righteousness!!"

"Just blow it hard. If you have any family heirlooms, I'll take them with you. It just so happens that you haven't given a gift to your daughter-in-law yet." The little yellow cat Ling Jue stretched out her fat hands, revealing her pink paws.

"Our tiger-ban is a rich family, and we have a lot of treasures. Just wait, I'll get you some." Tiger-ban Ling Xiao fiddled a few times, and took out a space button and handed it over as if by magic.

"This is..." The little yellow cat Ling Jue threw the round space button into the air, put it on its tail and twirled it. "It's not yours, is it?"

There is a word "Xi" on the space button, which should be left by Mr. Xi Cao.Mr. Nishigusa went out for errands half a year ago, and he doesn't know if he will come back.

"Mr. Xi Cao gave it to me." Ling Xiao blinked his big eyes twice, and pulled the white beard on Yuanbing's big face twice.

The little yellow cat threw the space button back and forth in the air, twitched its tail halfway, and finally stepped on the space button under its paws. "Thank you on behalf of the daughter-in-law."

Ling Jue summoned the mech and was about to set off when he was dragged back by Tiger Ban.

"Son, you just became an adult, and you lost so much life essence, you can't change into a human form at will, right?"

Ling Jue's heart skipped a beat, thinking that this matter is also very important.He wanted to show his best side in front of the little beauty, and he couldn't help turning into a cat or something, so he was a bit weak.There is also a pair of funny wings that suddenly appeared, which he is really unskilled in controlling.

Besides, the daughter-in-law is so fierce, Ling Jue still wants to bring a helper.

I wanted to ask the old man about the wings, but the wings are so fleshy, not only not majestic, but also more stupid than alpacas.Forget it, you will definitely be ridiculed, so let's study it in private first.

He looked at the waves around him. This artificial mentally retarded robot must be taken with him.

In addition to the waves, there is also an alpaca having fun.

Mr. Alpaca stretched his neck and trotted back and forth, the Shamat camel hair on his head was fluttering in the wind, looking extremely stupid.

Mr. Alpaca is called Ling Tuo. He is Ling Jue's younger brother. He is loyal, but he looks too stupid and doesn't pay much attention to hygiene.

Ling Tuo ran two steps with his fat buttocks twisted, and spat on the ground with a "Pooh".

Ling Tuo—pass! !

"Old man, I need to find someone with the same appearance as me, preferably of the same cat family." The situation there is unknown, Ling Jue plans to lurk near his wife's house, observe secretly first, and bring a cat as a substitute, just in case.If there is an accident, there is only one to blame.

Hu Ban tilted his head and thought for a while, washed his face, then suddenly raised his head and said, "Yes, Ling Li can do it. Just wait, I'll get him."

After Tiger Ban finished speaking, he jumped into the grass and disappeared.

Five minutes later, Tabby brought a snow-white lynx in its mouth and threw it on the ground.

"Old man, isn't this color right?" Ling Jue looked at the silver lynx on the ground, and circled around him twice.

Ling Li was sleeping, and she was arrested before she could figure out the situation.

The patriarch said to him: "Ling Li, you're lucky. Ling Jue is going to take you out to enjoy the blessings. Ling Tuo flaunted his poses for a long time and didn't get noticed, so he fell in love with you."

His snow-white hair had been forcibly dyed yellow, the handsome tufts that towered over his ears had been clipped, and he was kept in a pet capsule.

Did the patriarch have any misunderstanding about the word "enjoy blessing"?

........................

Ling Jue drove the ancient mecha, and with the help of the wave, he landed on the capital of the first galaxy smoothly.

The holographic projections on the street were full of Gu Huailu's head, and the people gathered around the square, watching the real-time live broadcast.The interviewee was Gu Huailu.

"Ou Puchi, the old master is on TV, and the old master is on fire." The wave was disassembled, and Ling Jue made him into a watch and put it on his hand.

"Is it very powerful?" Ling Jue entered the city for the first time, and he was surprised by everything he saw.He grabbed an enthusiastic old man to ask, and the enthusiastic crowd around him started talking about it.

"Young man, you can ask Major General Gu, he is amazing, he has awakened the legendary intelligent mech Cheng Ying. You don't know, so many elites in the military have failed, only Major General Gu, who amazed everyone when he appeared on the stage , awakened Chengying without any effort."

"My nephew was there at the time and saw it with his own eyes. Crackling, the three mechas all knelt on the ground and bowed their heads in surrender. The scene was spectacular..."

"Major General Gu is now ranked first in the list of male gods, and has many fans..."

"Major General Gu is my idol, I want to marry him and have children with him..."

"Major General Gu is the male god in my heart, I will try my best to get closer to him!!"

"A large group of Omegas are asking for a mark!!"

"..."

Ling Jue shook his head and felt honored.

Your Major General Gu already belongs to him! !

Maybe she's pregnant with his cub already! !

Human beings are so cruel, and his daughter-in-law is so popular, Ling Jue's sense of crisis suddenly rises, and he has to hurry up and bring his daughter-in-law home.

........................

"Ah Fa, cook some sauerkraut soup tonight." Gu Huailu felt that his appetite was a bit strange recently, and he always wanted to eat sour food.There are also abnormalities in the body, the reaction is faster than before, the body is more agile, but a little lethargic.

"Okay, sir." Ah Fa is the nanny of Gu Huailu's family. He has been working for nearly ten years. She is very hardworking, but her health is not very good.

Gu Huailu turned on the optical brain, awakened the mech and was able to upgrade two levels in a row, and the notification of promotion to general came down, full of congratulatory messages.He picked a few familiar ones and returned.

In addition to the congratulatory message, there is also a notice.Gu Huailu quickly browsed through it.

When is a medical report required for promotion to the rank of general?

It must also be checked at the designated hospital - the Imperial Royal Hospital.

It seems that someone is staring at him, isn't Alpha really that important?

He walked into the bedroom, ready to take a rest, when he opened the door, he saw a big black-haired spider with the mouth of a bowl lying on the wall of the bedroom.

spider! !

Gu Huailu's mind was blank, the hairs on his body were standing on end, he hardly thought, he subconsciously took out his laser gun, "bang bang bang", fired dozens of shots in a row, densely packed honeycomb holes appeared on the wall.

Cement slag was scattered all over the ground, and the laser gun was extremely powerful. The dead spiders were mixed with the debris on the wall, and they could not be distinguished for a long time.

"Sir, what's going on?" Ah Fa stood at the door with a wok in his hand, with a confused expression on his face, "Is there a thief?"

"It's okay, the gun went off, you clean it up." Gu Huailu's heart was beating wildly, and his facial expression did not change at all.

I hate summer the most. In summer, there are spiders everywhere.

"Oh." Ah Fa put down the pot and controlled the cleaning robot. "Sir, your ears are so red. Is it hot? I'll lower the temperature of the air conditioner."

Gu Huailu touched his ears indifferently, and nodded calmly, "It's hot, take some insect repellent to prevent mosquitoes and flies... Oh, and there are also spiders."

"Got it, sir!"

The community is very green. In summer, many big hairy spiders will crawl into the house. Although they don't bite, they look weird.

Ah Fa once saw a spider the size of a plate, and was almost frightened into a heart attack.

Mr. is so heroic that he is not afraid of spiders.He must know that he is afraid and prevent it early.

Mr. is really understanding.

A little yellow cat was hiding in the corner of the window sill outside the house, watching secretly, biting its tail and shivering.

It's just a spider, does it need such a big battle?

The daughter-in-law's temper is too hot, it seems that she should only be softened, not forced.

[planA] Forcibly abducting the daughter-in-law home—Chacha.

Execute [planB]—let the daughter-in-law feel his most sincere love from the center of the universe.

It seems that the daughter-in-law is afraid of spiders.That's right, such an ugly thing dares to dangle in front of his wife.

Lynx shook its head, shrank behind the little yellow cat, and pulled his tail.

"Boss, I want to eat meat!"

"Go, catch all the spiders around, and buy you chicken legs!" The little yellow cat flicked its tail and knocked the lynx off the window sill.

"Boss, I'm afraid of spiders... spiders..."

Dinner was ready, Gu Huailu sat at the dining table, looking at the dishes he usually ate, feeling a little lost in his appetite.

I caught a piece of fish in my mouth, it was fishy and I wanted to vomit.

Gu Huailu frowned, chewed it whole twice, and swallowed it anyway.

Born as a commoner, he has developed the habit of thrift since he was a child, and he will not waste food.

He drank two bowls of sauerkraut soup, but couldn't eat any more, so he put down his chopsticks.

"It's strange, my husband ate so little today, and my husband's appetite has not been very good recently, is it because of the weather?" After finishing his meal, Ah Fa cleaned up the dishes and put the leftovers in the refrigerator.

In the middle of the night, a little yellow cat and a lynx slipped into the kitchen.

"Boss, what is this? It's so cool? There are so many delicious things in it!! Can I eat it?" Lynx lay on the shelf of the refrigerator and didn't want to come out.

This is a country lynx that has never seen the world before.

"This is a refrigerator to store food." He watched it on TV, and he stretched out his paw and pointed back, signaling the lynx to back down.

"Boss, you are amazing!" Lynx reluctantly came out of the refrigerator after touting Ling Jue.

The little yellow cat tasted the leftovers side by side, sticking out its tongue, "Ah Fa's cooking is so unpalatable, no wonder my wife can't eat it."

The more Ling Jue thought about it, the more he felt that Ah Fa was unreliable.He has been hiding in the Major General's Mansion today. During the day when Gu Huailu was away, Ah Fa had been watching TV, such as Empire Welfare Star, Two-color Star, Sports Star.Or turn on the optical brain and scratch the stars online.

Sweeping the floor and tidying up the room are all done by robots, and Ah Fa just cooks a meal, which is so unpalatable.

Knowing that my daughter-in-law has a bad appetite, I don't know how to change the dishes and improve my skills.

Find a way to get rid of Ah Fa, and replace the daughter-in-law with a new nanny.