atypical package

Wei Jiawen lived in poverty in the first 20 years, and the next few years were miserable. He thought that happiness was a huge luxury for him, and suffering and struggle were the normal state of life.

He stayed alone in the huge home, where there were traces of him and Li Yanxi everywhere.

He once pressed Li Yanxi down on the shiny black leather sofa and kissed him fiercely, then pressed against the man's legs, and invaded with wide open gaps; he once flirted with Li Yanxi on the cooking table, and Li Yanxi's slender and His white legs wrapped around his waist desperately, until the two were so emotional that they had a fight in the kitchen; he once snatched the cigarette from Li Yanxi's mouth on the balcony, and sealed the man's mouth with a kiss. After overflowing with low cursing, Li Yanxi lost his temper immediately after, and the two of them lingered for a while, and directly had a good time on the terrace, swallowing Li Yanxi's broken body into his stomach.

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All the throbbing and warmth turned into fatal injuries, reminding him of his current situation without stopping for a moment.He should close his eyes, cover himself with a quilt, and not look or think about it, but since he has lost his beloved, how can he not be willing to not look or think about it?

When happiness has become the past, when sweetness has become the past, all he has are these boring memories.

Wei Jiawen once read a sentence that said that you should be relieved if you can't get it.He just smiled at this and didn't take it seriously.

In this world of mortals, there are many people who are eager to learn. How many people can be unrestrained and open-minded, and how many people can be "relaxed of what they can't get"?What's more, this sentence itself carries the fatalism of pessimists. 30 years in Hedong and 30 years in Hexi, don’t bully the young and poor, whether you can do it or not, you can’t get it, the final decision will be made at the moment of the coffin, how can anyone make a judgment at will?Although he was so frustrated, he knew that he was in the prime of life, so how could he believe in those predestined fates?

Success or failure, he has to give it a go.But he was really uncomfortable.Even if pursuit and waiting are the main colors of his life, after having so much, it is inevitable to be sad and desperate.

If he is just a poor boy who hopes to get out of elementary school, and has never held the moon in his arms, he can simply appreciate its beauty, watch it every night, think about it every night, and all he has is happiness.But he had the best everything ever, and was pushed into hell again in the end.

The terrible thing is never not having it, but losing it after having it.

Thinking of this, his heart felt a throbbing pain, and then his whole head was pierced like a thousand needles.Unable to bear the physical and mental pain, he took a deep breath, picked up a bottle of red wine from the antique rack, opened it, and didn't care about anything else.He poured a whole glass, and then poured it all down his stomach.

He is not a drinker on weekdays, and his alcohol capacity is also poor. He only drinks a few drinks on social occasions or during New Years and festivals.At this moment, he just wanted to get drunk, and he had better forget all his troubles.

He drank wine glass by glass, but the wine could only make him sad and sad, and in the end he was crying and laughing, looking crazy.He stumbled to the coffee table, bent down and took a cigarette, put it in his hand, lit it, put it in his mouth like Li Yanxi, took a deep breath, followed by a rapid cough.But he still didn't want to let go, until the whole cigarette was burned out, and he went to get another one.Until Dongfang spit white, the eyes of the young man who hadn't closed his eyes all night were dull, and there were two scarlet turbidity.

His limbs were sore, and he fell on the sofa. What he held in his hand was a slender cigarette, and the beautiful smoke was floating upwards.

Thinking of the mobile phone inappropriately, piercing the loneliness and decay of the whole room.He grabbed the phone and blinked before daring to look at it. The call reminder in front of him was not the name that haunted him day and night, but his manager Wang Qi.

His heart trembled, and he wanted to hang up the phone.At this time, he didn't want to think about the work. He just wanted to be an ostrich, hide at home, and lick his wounds by himself.

But he couldn't bear the continuous ringing of the mobile phone, so he finally picked it up.Wang Qi was like a machine gun as always, talking non-stop.But Wei Jiawen's mind was like a rusty machine at this moment, unable to turn at all. Wang Qi said a lot, but he couldn't understand a word, until Wang Qi on the other side of the phone yelled at him several times, "Jiawen Jiawen!", he slowly came back to his senses, he wanted to respond, but found that his throat was like a sewer blocked by a bunch of hair, and all that leaked out was a very soft "um".

There was a panic in his heart, but after the panic, there was a faint sense of relief.He didn't want to worry Wang Qi, so he took the phone away, cleared his throat twice, then moved closer to the receiver, and said to Wang Qi, "What's wrong?"

Wang Qi was annoyed that he was not paying attention, and repeated angrily, "I mean, tomorrow is the finals, you can have some snacks, think about your lines in advance, take a good rest, and protect your throat."

Wei Jiawen froze, feeling ashamed for a moment.Although he didn't really care whether he was number one or number two, there were countless people in his company working hard for his future, or their common future.Where would I put those people if I was so dissolute?

He has been accustomed to living a hard life since he was a child, and he has always known how to take responsibility. The responsibilities to his parents and brothers and sisters have all been resisted on his immature shoulders early on.This kind of behavior of disregarding others used to be the most unacceptable to him, but now he is in too much pain. He is a living person, how can he be rational to the end?

He was silent for a long time before slowly saying, "I'm sorry..."

Wang Qi froze for a moment.He didn't know what Wei Jiawen had done, he suddenly felt a little baffled when he heard the apology, but then he remembered that he had spoken badly to Wei Jiawen just now, and felt that Wei Jiawen was probably worried that he cared about his carelessness just now.He smiled and said very easily, "I'm sorry, it's a trivial matter. You work harder to sing well, and I will also work harder to do everything I can. Let's work hard together. Don’t worry if it won’t catch fire in the future.”

Wei Jiawen bit his lip hard, and gave a muffled hum.

After putting down the phone, his thoughts drifted far away, and finally returned to that backward small town, that dilapidated street.Wei Jiawen himself was a little surprised that he would think of his relatives at such a juncture.

The relationship between Wei Jiawen and his family was far from close and warm, especially after he finished high school, it became even more distant and indifferent, and the family affection unknowingly turned into mutual perfunctory. Only go back once every two years.Counting carefully, he hadn't seen his parents and brothers for a long time, and even thought of them was scarce. At this time, something happened, and for some reason, he suddenly thought of his relatives.

He frowned, all the incidents were engraved in his heart, just for a moment, his figure became a little bent, followed by the pain that spread to the bones of the whole body.

He didn't want to exacerbate his pain, so he quickly shook his head, trying in vain to get rid of those old things, but it was a rare wish.

He couldn't help smiling wryly, he was still too weak like this.Afterwards, there was a silent sigh, accompanied by a burst of sadness and helplessness in my heart.