sex addict

Love is wanting to touch and then withdrawing. — Salinger

November in City A is the most comfortable, the sticky stuffy feeling gradually dissipates, and the wind blowing is mixed with a hint of coolness, which is very refreshing when it brushes against the skin.

There is only one week left until Design Excellence Fair.Mu Cheng was either in the studio or in the library.

The library of University A has a huge collection of books, and its magnificent architectural style complements the long history of the school, making it a famous campus scene.Especially when the library is full of people, the inspecting school leaders are always very proud. They don’t know whether they are proud of the good learning environment and materials provided by the library for the students, or proud of the hard-working students. , perhaps both.

There is a bamboo forest behind the library, which is green and rich, elegant and refined. The name of the garden - "Youhuang Garden" means "the quiet bamboos are cultivated, and the heart is like a valley".There are stone tables and benches in the forest. Occasionally, young men and women are dressed in Han costumes to take pictures, or to read quietly in twos and threes, which is very elegant.

When Song Yao went to the library to read, he liked to sit by the window next to the bamboo grove. He was fascinated by the deep and secluded artistic conception of this bamboo grove, especially the fragrance of bamboo leaves that slipped inadvertently through the crack of the open window. , that is really refreshing and intoxicating.

Mu Cheng spends most of his time painting in the studio, and also likes to be near the window. For him, light is very important.He also often goes to the library. In addition to borrowing some professional books and famous paintings, there are also various classics and novels, and his reading range is extremely wide.

"Hey, Amu, I changed shift today, let's go play ball!" Su Tingjie walked up to Mu Cheng, who was serious about painting in a corner of the library, and said with his shoulders moving.

"No, go." Mu Cheng replied word by word without raising his head.

"Don't, the weather is so good today, and it's rare that I'm free, so you can't give up your life to accompany the gentleman?" Su Tingjie seemed to be trying to save something.

"Of course you can risk your life to accompany a gentleman, but you are not a gentleman, so don't accompany me!" Mu Cheng still concentrated on doing his own thing.

Su Tingjie was silent for a moment, and unwillingly grabbed what Mu Cheng was looking at, pulled away the chair opposite Mu Cheng, sat down and read it, and threw a copy to Mu Cheng: "God! I have worked in the library for so long It's the first time I've seen someone read the campus newspaper so engrossed! It's all a pretense project, with no real content, what's so interesting about it?"

He paused while speaking, turned the newspaper in his hand 180 degrees, and pointed at Mu Cheng: "Here, the article by the great talent Song Yao is still interesting." Then he browsed the next one and nodded in praise: "Poetry It’s also well written.” Looking at the next page, there is also Song Yao’s column, and the next one, Su Tingjie snatched the newspaper thrown in front of Mu Cheng with an expression of discovering the New World, and read in bits and pieces: “Song Yao , Song Yao, Song Yao..."

Checking the rest in front of him, there are also Song Yao.It is not surprising that there is Song Yao, but the strange thing is that not every serialized campus newspaper has Song Yao's works, that is to say, these campus newspapers are not consecutive, but are collected in different months and different periods.

At the beginning, Mu Cheng was relatively calm, but when the last copy was finished, Mu Cheng's eyes tightened, and he suddenly stood up and pressed the newspaper with his palm. Su Tingjie's intuition told him that this reaction was absolutely abnormal!So he grabbed Mu Cheng's wrist with one hand and lifted it up, just as he was about to pick up the newspaper with the other hand, Mu Cheng swept it to the ground.The two sketches fluttered to the ground...

Both of them looked at the sketch, and then looked at each other, waiting for an opportunity to see who would seize the opportunity first, but neither of them made any further moves.After a stalemate for about a minute, Mu Cheng first opened his mouth to compromise: "Okay! Is it over? Let go!"

Su Tingjie glanced at the painting on the ground, and winked at Mu Cheng, without any intention of letting go of Mu Cheng.Mu Cheng became angry: "After a while, a passing classmate will pick me up and see that I'm not finished with you!" Su Tingjie had no choice but to let go resentfully.

Mu Cheng sighed, bent down to pick up the sketch and newspaper, put the newspaper aside, and carefully wiped off the dust on the sketch paper with his hands, as if he was gently stroking the cheek of his sweetheart.

Su Tingjie knew that Mu Cheng always cherished his works, so he weakly said "I'm sorry", but Mu Cheng did not respond.Su Tingjie craned his neck to look at the painting again, and asked in a low voice: "You are collecting Song Yao's works and drawing his sketches, what do you want to do?"

Mu Cheng picked up a sketch in one hand and stared blankly through the sunlight. One was Song Yao's face, um, it still didn't work, the eyes didn't have the charm, and the facial features were not so clean; the other was the side face sitting by the window. , Alas, the outline of the face is too rigid to draw the kind of natural warmth.He threw his head back, breathed a sigh of relief, got up and began to tidy up the messy newspapers on the table.

Su Tingjie felt his air-like existence, shrugged his shoulders, and then nuzzled at Mu Cheng: "Talk?"

bar.

"Tell me, what's the situation?" Su Tingjie shook the beer in his hand.

no respond. "Don't tell me that's just drawing casually. You are so proud of your talent, great painter Mu. How can ordinary people get your eyes and the tip of your pen?" Su Tingjie looked at the beer in the glass playfully, but didn't take a sip.

"Do you like him?" Su Tingjie tightly held the cup's hand.

"You talk a lot!" Mu Cheng raised his head and drank the beer in the glass.

Su Tingjie smiled helplessly, and finally took a sip of wine.After swallowing it in one gulp, he wrinkled his nose and smacked his lips: "Tsk, this wine is not strong enough. It's just right for women, but not enough for men."

Mu Cheng heard that there was something in Su Tingjie's words, and he fixed his sharp eyes on him.

"Oh, don't look at me with such eyes, I don't even need to look at you with perverted eyes, and you don't look at me with such eyes that delay the other party's thoughts." Su Tingjie shook his head and laughed out loudly: "In the school There are too many people who like him, girls and boys, it's not surprising that he is so good. I just want to remind you that he is a man, and you are also a man. "

"You don't need to remind me, I know... If you like it, you just like it, so there's so much nonsense." Mu Cheng took a sip of his wine.He is very aware of the fact that he and Song Yao have the same gender, and it is precisely because he has not persuaded himself to let go of the courage to like a man, or he is not sure whether it is a liking at all, so what he said is obvious Some lack of confidence.

"He, do you know?" Su Tingjie looked at the arrogant man in front of him.

"Forget it, he doesn't even know who I am..." Mu Cheng lowered his head.

Su Tingjie quietly stared at the bubbles rising one by one in the beer, and swallowed: "You, don't you know him? Why did you fall in love with him in just over half a month? Don't even mention it Mention it to me."

"I don't know why I'm crazy. I always pay attention to him intentionally or unintentionally. It seems that since the day I glanced at Yuhu Park, I haven't looked down from him." Mu Cheng couldn't imagine that these nasty words would be It came out of his mouth.

Su Tingjie forced a smile: "Hey, you are not nasty, you are so disgusting, is this still our Great Painter Mu?"

"If you want to talk like that, I'm leaving!" If you read it correctly, a blush appeared on Mu Cheng's face, but it wasn't alcohol.

"Do you really like him? Don't mind if he is a man? What about him, don't mind if you are of the same sex? Leaving aside whether he will treat you as a pervert, even if you are together, is there a future? Or Playing around for a while, regardless of the consequences?" Except for a pause when saying the word "like", the series of questions were projected on Mu Cheng like a cannonball, and exploded one by one.

"I didn't think too much about it, let's do this first." Mu Cheng directly picked up the wine bottle and took a sip.

"Why are you so cowardly? Are you still playing with secret love? Come on! If you don't play meat, you really should escape into Buddhism. Why, you still want to perform "A Letter from a Strange Man"?" Su Tingjie smiled pickily, as if through Mu Cheng encouraged another person.

"You..." Mu Cheng raised his head and looked at Su Tingjie in disbelief. He didn't expect Su Tingjie to encourage him to chase Song Yao, or, this was a joke at all, and Su Tingjie just made fun of him in different ways.

"We have known each other for more than a year. You said that we are high school alumni. We have been in a limited circle for two years. How many opportunities have we met? How come we haven't met? Hey, it's okay, although we are a year late in college It's been a year, but we still know each other. It's been more than a year, a year and two months..." Su Tingjie said this with a sad and serious look.

Mu Cheng hammered Su Tingjie's shoulder with his fist, and licked the corners of his dry lips: "You didn't drink too much, you, the emotion of hurting the spring and autumn is very good." Then he put away the smile on the corner of his mouth, and said seriously: "I'm not Gay, I just like him. You..."

Su Tingjie took a deep breath, straightened his waist that was bent into a shrimp before, put the glass on the bar, and smiled: "I am a young man in the new era. I am open-minded and keep up with the pace of the times. I will not discriminate against these. So you Just rest assured, buddy, I support you! Come on, do it!" Then he picked up the wine glass and touched Mu Cheng's, and drank it down in one gulp.

"Cough cough cough..." Su Tingjie coughed violently, his face was flushed, and the corners of his eyes were filled with tears.

Mu Cheng laughed and patted Su Tingjie on the back: "I'll go, I won't slow down! Choke you to death!"

Su Tingjie buried his face in the palm of his hand, wiped it hard, smiled, and said happily: "It's been more than a year, and I haven't seen anyone you like. If you like it, try it, whoever it is!"

"Okay, stop talking, let's go back, let's go!" Mu Cheng was told by his good buddies, and while confirming his feelings, he also gained some determination and courage to take a step forward, and he was in a good mood immediately.As he said that, he stretched out his hand to wrap Su Tingjie's shoulder, but Su Tingjie avoided it.

"You go back first, I'm here to see if there are any beautiful girls, maybe I'll get out of the singles tonight." Su Tingjie deliberately put on a suave playboy look.

"Hey, co-author, did I prevent you from picking up girls just now? All right, then I'll go back first, and I'll buy it alone. Be careful yourself, don't be fooled by the girl. Hahaha!" Picking up the bag and throwing it on his back, he left the bar.

Seeing Mu Cheng go out, Su Tingjie took a bottle of beer and walked to the sofa in the corner.Leaning on the sofa as if relieved, he sneered and cursed: "Wort!" He raised his head and took a sip of wine, letting the tears slip down to his ears.

Yes, only people like Song Yao are worthy of Mu Cheng, but why is Song Yao a boy?If it was a girl, he wouldn't be so worried, or rather, wouldn't be so jealous.How many times has he asked himself that series of questions in the dark night; the words that encouraged Mu Cheng to pursue bravely, he has encouraged himself a lot in the past six months.But after all, he still couldn't get out.The phrase "a wimp" is scolding himself.

Su Tingjie is from the School of Electrical Engineering. When he was a freshman, his friends in the clubs of the Academy of Fine Arts left the post for a few hours for a few hours, so that he could take a look at it first.Unexpectedly, as soon as his friend left, someone came to report to him, and that person was Mu Cheng.

So Su Tingjie, as a senior, helped Mu Cheng with his luggage, took him to register, familiarized himself with the environment, bought daily necessities, and at the same time learned that each other came from the same high school.Gradually he was attracted by Mu Cheng's sunny handsomeness and talent, and he found himself falling in love with Mu Cheng.He wanted to express his heart many times, but he gave up halfway.

So today in the library, he was keenly aware of Mu Cheng's thoughts, and when he was in the bar, he even saw his tangled appearance on Mu Cheng. He understood the feeling of wanting to touch and then withdrawing his hand too well.He was afraid that after taking this step, the two of them would no longer be called buddies, and would not even be friends. Mu Cheng might still feel that he was a pervert, so he always made all kinds of declarations about picking up girls without shame, but never really took the initiative. Chased girls.He tried his best to hide the fact that he likes gay buddies through his poor acting skills again and again...

His thoughts turned back to the feasting and feasting in front of him, when he thought that he almost couldn't control his emotions in front of Mu Cheng just now, he felt very resentful, hated himself for liking him, and even more hated himself for giving him up to others when he clearly liked him.At the same time, he was thankful that he covered up his tears and guilty conscience with the aid of choking on alcohol...

That being the case, then so be it, as long as he likes it.

Mu Cheng was walking alone on the way back to the apartment, and there was a row of street lights every few meters, which stretched Mu Cheng's shadow long, and after a few steps, it was shortened by the new street lights, and then stretched again.He has been walking this road for more than a year, and he has never felt so lonely like tonight.It really is autumn.

After returning to the apartment, Mu Cheng took a shower, went to bed, and lay on the bed thinking about what Su Tingjie said in the bar.

I really like him?Or is it just heroism?I don't mind if he's a man?What about him, doesn't mind if I'm gay?Will he see me as a pervert?Even if we are together, is there a future?Or play for a while, regardless of the consequences?Why should I draw him?Just curious?Why should I follow him?Why didn't you dare tell him that you liked him?

The doubt shattered the drowsiness, Mu Cheng got up and went to the balcony to pick up the paintbrush, and drew the entangled self on the paper, the shadow, the long shadow drawn, and the person who left the shadow, a distant back, all done in one go .

Unable to love, extreme restraint, pain, all the words came together, and the words "sex addict" flashed in Mu Cheng's mind, and he wrote them down.

Early the next morning, Mu Cheng sent the painting to his tutor for review. Although the tutor urged him for a long time, he expressed dissatisfaction with the painting in front of him. , but the female teacher took a look at it and blurted out "There is a kind of love called letting go", as if she was quite satisfied. Mu Cheng didn't bother to explain, and the tutor didn't even bother to listen to Mu Cheng's explanation, so the painting was reviewed.

Mu Cheng smiled knowingly, a backlog of stones in his heart was considered to be on the ground, and finally he had time to sort out his feelings, and it was time to do something serious.