sex addict

I met you, I remember you, this city was born for love, you were born for my soul. —— Duras

"It's raining in Huangmei season, and frogs are everywhere in the grass and ponds. If you have an appointment, you can't spend the night, and you can knock on the chess pieces and put the lanterns on." The state of mind of "Denghua" is somewhat similar to that of Song Yao at the moment. At the end of May, the nights are getting boring again...

Song Yao was sitting on the bed, flipping through his photo album and Mu Cheng's picture album under the soft light of the desk lamp—ever since they were together with Mu Cheng, they all had a new hobby, which is to encounter beautiful scenery, Mu Cheng painted half of the painting, Song Yao took the other half, and then put the photos and paintings together to form a complete scene, and then compared it with the original scene. Song Yao likes every one of the perfect copy of the visual sense.

Mu Cheng said, whether it is a beautiful day or a beautiful day, there must be Song Yao in a place with beautiful scenery, otherwise, no matter how beautiful the scenery is in his eyes, there will only be half of the landscape in his brush, and the scenery in his heart will be incomplete.Mu Cheng is a person who talks a lot about love, and doesn't know which ones are true and which ones are false.Song Yao is not a little girl, but he always uses love words to make Song Yao happy. He said that he only said these nasty love words to Song Yao, even though Song Yao said, "Who knows, I don't believe it." ", but my heart is still sweet and greasy.

The photo album and picture album in his hand are like the fuse of memory fireworks. Once ignited, what happened in April, one by one, all burst out of memory, and exploded in Song Yao's mind. It's everywhere, in my heart, in my eyes, even in my ears...

"Xiao Mu, I, I may go to the UK for further studies, and I will stay for about two years. I want you to go with me. I privately rejected the exchange student quota arranged by the school last semester. My parents were very upset when they found out. , I want me to go abroad after completing the graduation procedures. You can discuss it with your family, and if your uncles and aunts agree, we will apply for a visa soon." Mu Cheng carefully took Song Yao's hand.

Song Yao shook it off forcefully: "Then why didn't you say it before? And what happened to you refusing the school's exchange student quota? How many things do you have that I don't know?"

"No, no, Xiao Mu, don't be angry. I didn't tell anyone about the exchange students. During that time, you were preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. I wanted to accompany you. And at that time, you couldn't go abroad with me. , I just want to wait and go with me when you are done with your work, let alone whether you want to stay abroad, even if it is a holiday to visit the place where I study and live."

"So Mu Cheng, do you think that what you have done is selfless and great? Although we are lovers, I don't want you to delay your future for me. If I become a stumbling block in your future, no matter it is Whether active or passive, I will feel guilty. I don’t want to be a failure in your blueprint.”

"The failure in the blueprint plan? Song Yao, do you have to make your position in my heart so unbearable? Maybe you have forgotten "Sex Addicts" a long time ago, then do you know that the back that is going away is you , you were the most inseparable stroke in my painting two years ago, you were the other half of the blueprint I planned two years ago, didn't you agree that I would draw half and you would take half? Did you forget? Still doesn't count? Answer me!"

The self in the memory is the same as the self sitting in front of the picture album now, with tears falling from the corners of the eyes, but the teardrops fell on the ground two months ago, and now the teardrops fell on Mu Cheng's painting .Song Yao immediately turned around and took out a piece of paper. Before he wiped it, tears had already smeared on the paper... The fireworks were easy to be cold, and the debris fell off, and everything returned to reality.Those people who are still in front of your eyes, and the words that are still in your ears, openly provoke Song Yao in the apartment without Mu Cheng.

Many people say that June is both the graduation season and the breakup season. How many couples who really love each other will always be dominated by an emotion when they encounter differences in graduation choices. It is hard to tell whether this emotion is rational or irrational.Geography, time, work, and economic conditions often become the enemies of love—when love loses to them, lovers choose to walk away silently. They used to firmly believe that the sacred love is indestructible and can break through all obstacles in the end.But when they finally chose to "go back home" to work, or choose to go to school, they realized that love had been slowly and tacitly abandoned by each other.

Song Yao thought, could he and Mu Cheng also be unable to escape this curse?He turned on his phone and looked at the text message he received in the morning - "I'm on the plane at 6:3 pm on June 2rd, will you come to see me off?"

The light from the phone screen made the teardrops in the corners of Song Yao's eyes the color of shark beads. He wanted to go, wanted to see him, even if it was just to see him;He once heard from his grandfather that the farewell should not be too grand, but should be hasty, so that the farewell will not be so uncomfortable.

However, don't there still be people who say "Goodbye, I will live up to meeting you"?I understand the truth, but when it falls on me, how should I choose?

Song Yao, who hadn't slept well for several nights, just sat down to read a few minutes after eating casually, when he felt sleepy, he fell asleep lying on the balcony table.

"I'm leaving, and you're not going to see me off." Song Yao's neck was chilled by the breath brought out by the soft words. This voice couldn't be more familiar!

He straightened up suddenly: "Mu Cheng?" The momentary joy dissipated from his eyes when he turned around and saw Mu Cheng. "Why did you come back? Shouldn't you be on the plane at this point?"

"If you don't come to see me off, I'll come to you." Seeing Song Yao's surprised expression, Mu Cheng smiled and opened his hands, waiting for him to stand up and throw himself into his arms.

However, Song Yao sat upright, unmoved, as if he hadn't heard Mu Cheng's words.

"Song Yao, I miss you very much." Mu Cheng lowered his head and stared at Song Yao's shoulder.

Song Yao got up, pushed Mu Cheng away, and stood in the corner of the balcony with his back facing him.Mu Cheng wanted to go up and hug Song Yao from behind, but hesitated again. He knew Song Yao was angry, but shouldn't he be the one who should be angry?Immediately, he was far away from his hometown and his lover, but the person he couldn't let go of the most didn't even look at him.

"Song Yao, I used to think that I could give up everything to pursue my dream, but in the few days I haven't seen you, I found that I can also give up everything for you, not your dream and mine. It's just as important, but you have become my dream now. When I think that I won't be able to see you or be with you after I go to England, I feel very uncomfortable. I know, if you don't come to see me off, you are afraid You can't bear it yourself, you don't want me to go at all, right?"

"Xiao Mu, you are so considerate. I really appreciate that you love me, understand me, but sometimes I hope you can be more selfish. As long as you say a word, or even if you show a little bit of reluctance, I will I came back without hesitation, and returned to you. However, your feelings are buried too deep, and I have no ability to dig them out, so I can only admit that I have come back. Rather than saying that I became incompetent in front of you, it is better to say that I am Because of you, even the most difficult choices become easier."

Seeing that Song Yao didn't respond, Mu Cheng went on to say, "When you get the notice from X University, I'll go with you. I'll look for a job there for you to study as a graduate student."

"Mu Cheng, I... I didn't go to the retest." Song Yao said in a low voice.

Mu Cheng pressed Song Yao's shoulder to force him to turn around and face himself, frowning and asked: "Why, Song Yao? You got such a high score in the first test, why didn't you go for the retest? It's a pity that you gave up like this after preparing for so long! Then Isn't it your favorite college?"

"Mu Cheng, I want to find a job in city A, and I won't go to graduate school anymore. I'll consider whether to take the exam again after my job is stable." Song Yao said with a serious head.

"Why... suddenly decided to stay and work in City A?"

Song Yao felt that the bravery his grandfather had taught him was exhausted in an instant, so he threw himself into Mu Cheng's arms with tears and grabbed his clothes tightly, and said with a sob, "Because Duras said, 'I met you, I remember you, this city was born for love, you were born for my soul.' So, I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to be here waiting for you to come back."

Mu Cheng gently pushed Song Yao away to wipe his tears, and then took a look at Song Yao who was sobbing, then grabbed him with one hand, bent down and carried him on his shoulder, and said as he went back to the bedroom: "Song Yao is not here without you!" place, I don’t want to go anywhere!”

It would be great if time could stop at this moment.It's a pity that most of the beautiful things are illusory, time will not stop, it will only wait for you in the next second with a bunch of problems.

"Song Yao, can Auntie ask you something? Mu Cheng refuses to go abroad. You are good friends with him. Can you help me persuade him, okay? Auntie is also thinking about his future..." Song Yao is still there Thinking of the phone call from Mu Cheng's mother a few days ago, he was in a daze.

"Hey, that classmate next to you, look at the camera! Come on, shout with me—eggplant! OK, here comes another one, I'll count one, two, three, and you guys throw up your bachelor hats, be careful not to hit your eyes, here you go Ah, one, two, three—" The camera freezes a group of young people who are about to part ways in the photo, all smiling brightly, it can be seen that they have not lost their childishness after less experience, but they are a little more calm than when they were young , "Everyone is now an adult" brazenly said a second ago, and cried like a group of children just as soon as he turned his head.

"I haven't got the sword yet, but I'm in the rivers and lakes in a blink of an eye. I hope to go through a thousand sails and return to be still a young man." Zhou Ning always thought this sentence was hypocritical, but now he realizes that this sentence is really well written, and it expresses the personality of the graduation season in one sentence. In the middle of the taste, expressing the indescribable mood vividly.

Peng Ziwei took a deep breath and put on the Chinese tunic suit. He couldn't stand it for 3 minutes and shouted to take it off, so he unbuttoned and patted Zhou Ning next to him, saying, "Master Zhou, you are so handsome in this suit!"

"Hey, is that so?" Zhou Ning smirked contentedly.

Peng Ziwei went on to say: "That is, it is necessary! By the way, you can go to the photographer and help me find a large-sized dress. There are too many beautiful girls over there. I can't button it, so I am sorry to go there."

"Okay, wait." Zhou Ning straightened his body, grabbed the hem of his clothes with both hands and pulled them vigorously, and walked confidently to "Among the Ten Thousand Flowers".

Peng Ziwei looked left and right to see that there was almost no one around, so he said to Song Yao, "Are you in a bad mood recently? Seeing you taking graduation photos today is also very preoccupied." Button was in a daze: "It's nothing, maybe I'm about to graduate, I'm a little bit reluctant."

Peng Ziwei shrugged his shoulders. He planned not to ask any more questions, but his concern was confused. He glanced at Song Yao and asked, "I heard that Mu Cheng is back?" Song Yao was taken aback, then smiled and said, "Well, He didn't get on the plane." "It's hopeless, he gave up going abroad because of you, and you gave up studying for graduate school because of him, can't you two be more rational?"

"Why be more rational?" Xie Hao suddenly put the bachelor's cap on Peng Ziwei's head from behind, and said a few words: "Tsk, your head is really big."

Peng Ziwei put the tunic jacket he took off directly on Xie Hao's head, and joked: "Why, are you done taking photos with those three thousand beauties in your harem?" "Are you jealous or something?" Xie Hao raised his hand and pulled the clothes off Throwing it on the chair, it happened to be seen by Zhou Ning who came over with the clothes. He lifted the clothes and looked at the size, "Fatty, you are already the largest size? You still let me get it!"

"Really? I thought there was a bigger one, that's fine, thank you, let's put it there first." Peng Ziwei didn't lose his flesh, but he was good at pretending to be stupid.

After the graduation photos were taken, photography class 1008 held the last class meeting of the university. In addition to arranging the work of receiving the graduation certificate and degree certificate, the class teacher and counselor took turns to go to battle. I hope that the students will "return to their original intentions and still be young", and at the end I will say "go back to my alma mater when I have time" from the old dean, which makes the girls in the class cry like pears and rain, and the boys are also red The tip of the nose comforted the girls with a nasal voice and said goodbye.

After the meeting, Xie Hao booked a hotel and drove with 3 roommates to drink and sing together and never return.On the way, Xie Hao had sharp eyes, and saw the looming red mark on Song Yao's collarbone from the rearview mirror, with a wicked smile on his face: "Hey, my son, this famous grass has an owner? Look at this hickey, it can cover everything Can't stop."

Song Yao tugged at the neckline in a panic, stammering a little: "What? You read it wrong, it's just the rash from the mosquito bites that hasn't gone away."

"Hehe, it's okay for you to deceive others, but you can't deceive me. I am a battle-tested person, how can I not tell the difference between a mosquito bag and a strawberry?" Xie Hao didn't see the look from Peng Ziwei in the passenger seat at all, as before. Said triumphantly.Zhou Ning, who was sitting in the back seat with Song Yao, was also interested. He pulled Song Yao's collar to read it, and added with a wicked smile after watching it: "I'm going? Really! The local tyrant has good eyesight!"

Being praised by Zhou Ning, Xie Hao was even more excited. While turning on the turn signal, he said: "Song Yao, you said that you can move out and live. It's not interesting if you have a girlfriend and don't tell us."

Song Yaoqiang smiled and explained: "No, if there is, I will tell you."

"Then how do you explain the hickey on the neck? Don't tell me, I really want to see what our son's wife looks like, she's wild enough! Hahaha, let me check to see if there are any other hickeys... ..." Zhou Ning teased Song Yao with his hands.

Peng Ziwei turned his head and glared at Zhou Ning, then raised his voice and said, "It's almost done, don't be fussy. People say there is no more, what are you talking about?" After finishing speaking, he also gave Xie Hao a look, and blamed: "There is still you, no Be serious, drive hard, talk a lot!"

"Yeah, just protect him, don't we don't know when he gets married and has a baby. Song Yao, you are really serious. If there is anything you can't tell my brother San'er, isn't it just a girlfriend? Are you still planning to hide your beauty in a golden house?" Xie Hao took advantage of the time waiting for the red light to go back to Peng Ziwei, and then turned to talk to Song Yao.

Song Yao was at a loss and could only explain helplessly: "I really don't have a girlfriend."

"That's your boyfriend? Otherwise, how did you get that hickey? It can't be Mu Cheng, haha, I think your relationship is not simple, you have lived together for almost two years, and it is not impossible to look at each other secretly. , look, you guys go to class together again..." If Peng Ziwei hadn't stretched out his foot and kicked Xie Hao, he would have kept chattering and really thought he was Detective Conan.

Peng Ziwei winked at Xie Hao, and Xie Hao saw Song Yao's gloomy face through the rearview mirror and realized that the joke was a bit too much, so he tentatively apologized: "Young master, I'm joking, you won't be angry Right?"

"He is indeed my boyfriend. We are lovers. If you feel disgusted, please let me get off at the intersection ahead." Song Yao was surprisingly calm when he said this, as if he was stating something lightly. Things that have nothing to do with themselves.

The air in the car condensed into a bucket of mercury and splashed on the hearts of the four people. Song Yao's heart ached when he said reckless words, and even Peng Ziwei's words were blocked when he got to his lips.The car shook slightly because of Xie Hao's disobedient foot stepping on the brakes by mistake, pulling back Zhou Ning's wandering thoughts.

Xie Hao thought he was the warm-up little prince who had experienced many battles and tried to break the extremely awkward silence: "Hey, what's so strange about this? There are too many circles around me. As long as we clean up Pay attention to safety, those diseases do not exist at all, and AIDS is even more nonsense." After speaking, he forced a wicked smile: "I know there is a polka-dot thread, which is very easy to use, and I will recommend it to Mu Cheng another day. Ha ha."

Although Xie Hao's conciliation was a bit far-fetched, at least he didn't say anything too much, which made Peng Ziwei heave a sigh of relief.Only Song Yao was keenly aware that Zhou Ning changed his sitting posture and moved to the window.He lowered his head and said slowly, "Thank you."

It was agreed to drink and sing and not get drunk, because the episode on the road became a little embarrassing.Song Yao hardly spoke, when Xie Hao asked him what was wrong, he just said "it's nothing, just happy" to perfunctory Xie Hao, he was smiling, but he was not happy.He poured the wine from the bottle to the glass, and then from the glass to his mouth. It seemed that he was not drinking, but just doing an inertial movement. Obviously, his stomach was already chilled, and he poured himself in spite of his roommate's obstruction. Get drunk.

Peng Ziwei stopped drinking five times and three times to no avail, so he could only call Mu Cheng.When Mu Cheng drove to pick up Song Yao, he picked him up and went downstairs in front of the three of them.Maybe it would be impolite to say hello without saying hello, but when he heard Peng Ziwei on the phone saying that Song Yao was drinking so hard that he couldn't stop him, he couldn't care about anyone, including entering the private room. Song Yao was the only one in his eyes.

Mu Cheng held back his anger and gently put Song Yao on the passenger seat to fasten his seat belt. Just as he was about to start the car, Song Yao untied his seat belt, pulled his collar and straddled his lap, bowed his head and kissed him. His intermittent words overflowed from between his lips and teeth: "Mu Cheng, I want to..."

"Xiao Mu, you drank too much." Mu Cheng coldly pushed away Song Yao who was smelling of alcohol.

"Mu Cheng, husband, please... please..." Song Yao passed through Mu Cheng's hair with one hand, and unbuttoned him with the other, biting his Adam's apple restlessly with his mouth.

"Song Yao! Sober up!" Mu Cheng pressed Song Yao's shoulder and continued, "Did you hear that! Sit back for me!"

Song Yao was taken aback by fright, this was the first time Mu Cheng got so angry at himself.He sobbed and curled up in Mu Cheng's arms, covered his tearful face with his hands, and said incoherently: "Don't yell at me, I'm afraid... I'm really afraid, I'm afraid that my relatives and friends will leave me because of my sexuality... ...Why don't you hug me? Am I not good?... How can I get along well with this world? What should I do if you leave me alone? Does it mean that you don't even want me anymore..."

"Why? How could I not want you, Xiao Mu, please stop crying. Does your stomach hurt? Is there any discomfort?" Looking at Song Yao like this, Mu Cheng couldn't get angry at all, but when he thought of him Knowing that he had a bad stomach and a poor capacity for alcohol, he drank so much alcohol, he burst into anger again.

Song Yao groped and stretched his hands behind Mu Cheng's back, hugged his waist tightly, and burrowed into his arms, crying with the smell of alcohol: "Well, it hurts, it hurts everywhere, stomach, head ...and my heart, my heart hurts too..."

Seeing Song Yao's helpless look, Mu Cheng's heart twitched.

Mu Cheng took Song Yao to the hospital to register, carried him to the ward, guarded him for infusion, helped him go to the toilet, cleaned up his vomit, and tossed and tossed for a whole night, until the sky turned white, and Song Yao was safe. sleep.Taking advantage of this time, Mu Cheng went to buy breakfast and toiletries, and everything seemed to be back to two years ago.

The author has something to say:

1. "It rains at every house during the Huangmei season, and frogs are everywhere in the grass pond. If you have an appointment, you can't stay in the middle of the night, and you can knock on the chess pieces and drop the lanterns." It comes from Zhao Shixiu's "A Date/Yue Ke" in the Song Dynasty.

2. For a period of time after the quarrel, Mu Cheng was called by his parents to go back to his hometown, because Mu Tianchang and his wife felt that he would be away from his hometown for two years, and it was necessary to go back to his hometown to worship his ancestors. First, he must not forget himself Second, he also asked his ancestors for his peace.

3. The university that Song Yao applied for postgraduate entrance examination was in another province. The reason why he gave up the final interview was because he wanted to stay in city A and wait for Mu Cheng to come back.And he refused Mu Cheng's request to go abroad because Mr. Song was old and he wanted to be closer to his grandfather.