Yi Xing

It could have been.

If Zou Yi'an hadn't texted me.

On the morning of September [-]st, I woke up to a text message.

"Hello, Ren Ke. I'm Zou Yi'an, and this is my cell phone number. I know the damage I have done to you is irreparable, and I am in pain. Can you find a time to chat with me. I want to know What can I do for you."

After reading this news, my hands are shaking.

Zou Yi'an always has a way to find his sense of existence.

I can always smash my dreams in good time when I decide to live a good life.

For the math test that morning, I filled in the answer sheet with the answers to the fill-in-the-blank questions vertically.

The question numbers are marked horizontally.

I got 95 points on that paper.

Just one point short of a passing grade.

Li Qinfen called me to the office.

He tapped the answer sheet with his hand and asked me what was going on.

He said, "Ren Ke, you can't go on like this."

This time I fell out of the top [-] in the grade.

Boss Xie called me to the corridor between classes.

He said don't be discouraged, just wait for a period of time to get back to the state.

There are also Yuan Yuan and Gu Yang, they firmly believe that I just made a mistake for a while.

Everyone is trying to push me forward in various ways, but I feel a little tired.

I don't care about where I can go in the future.

I have no ambitions, nor do I have dreams of great success.

I just want to live a dull, boring but vibrant life like an ordinary person.

The existence of Zou Yi'an reminds me all the time, "You can't".

I can only be a person abandoned by fate forever.

In fact, I have already accepted this setting, but it always makes me see light, see hope, and feel the beauty of being loved.

It is so cruel, it lures me to climb to the most beautiful clouds, and then I step into the air and fall into the deepest canyon.

Then it's all over.

Fu Yixing sat on a chair and gave me a lecture, "This question is too troublesome for you to do. You can see that you have calculated such a long list, but there are not many effective points. In fact, you can draw a slightly more accurate question first. , and then guess the position of this point, for example, the abscissa is the focus..."

He was drawing on paper, but my mind was full of Zou Yi'an's cell phone number.

It's almost nine o'clock now.

Zou Yi'an texted me around nine o'clock this week.

He said he was very close to the school and wanted to see me.

I never responded to his text messages.

But he is getting closer and closer to me.

I am very afraid that one day he will come into the school.

"Ren Ke..." Fu Yixing waved his hand in front of my eyes, "Are you tired? Why don't you go to bed earlier?"

Fu Fu didn't say any encouraging words to me after that time, and he didn't make any comments on my entrance exam.

He said I would feel he was forcing me.

Don't talk... I hope he can talk about me.

I'm standing on the edge of a cliff.One step away from falling.

"Fu Fu, I don't think I have any sense of mathematics now... When I was called by Boss Xie to talk, I even thought about it, otherwise I should take an IELTS or TOEFL test, and go abroad to study humanities."

Fu Yixing looked at me and frowned.

"If you go abroad, you can go to the same school as Tangcheng, so we won't be too lonely, and uncle and aunt don't have to worry that Tangcheng can't live on their own. Do you know, I never had this kind of situation when my dad was still here. Thoughts, he loves this land, he loves the people of this city, in his eyes, traffic jams are more beautiful than green mountains and green waters... He has stood in many sentry boxes, and he has traveled all over here on a motorcycle. Every street. Before he passed away, I never felt where I would belong, but I realized later that I also love the place he loved, so I don’t want to go abroad, even if the competition here is particularly fierce, I also want to go abroad. Stay here. But now I feel like this land wants to drive me out."

Fu Yixing listened quietly, and then said, "Why do you think so, there are people who love you here."

The people who loved me the most in this world left one after another.

I think maybe I don't deserve to be loved.

The air conditioner whistled and exhaled cold air, and the blades were shivering from the cold.

I looked at Fu Yixing and suddenly remembered a year ago when I didn't want to approach him.

At that time, I thought Fu Yixing was the proud son of heaven.

He seemed to have all the sparkle, above the rules of fairness.

I feel that I will bring misfortune to such a person.

But I don't know when, I ignored my own destiny and wanted to enter his.

He is all the light and beauty, the candle that I want to protect with all my strength.

But when I got close to him, his light dimmed.

After all, he and I are two fates.

Maybe he would be better off if I hadn't been close to him then?

The vibrating sound of "buzzing" tore through the silence of Xia Ye. I reached into my pocket and touched the phone. The vibration flowed from my fingertips all the way to my heart. It constantly stimulated the beating of my heart and reminded me— — This is your destiny.

This is what I have to face, my own destiny.

This time Zou Yi'an called directly.

I figured it was time for me to get this all over, too.

"Fu Fu, go take a shower first, I'll make a phone call with my family."

He nodded, took the clothes and walked into the bathroom.

The shock never stopped. Looking at Fu Yixing's thin and straight back, my eyes suddenly got wet.

I don't know where this turbulent emotion comes from, I only know that my heart is sore and swollen.

I have made a decision and am willing to bear all the consequences, but I still feel so sad.

"Ren Ke, can you meet me? I'm at the back door of your school... Please meet me." Zou Yi'an's voice rang through the phone.

"can."

The corridor echoed with several footsteps, I touched the paper cutter in my pocket, and accelerated the speed of going downstairs.

The incessant rain made the flower beds extremely muddy. I couldn't use my feet, so I could only grab the upper surface of the fence and pull myself up.

When I straddled the wall, I hesitated for a while—this wall is my last barrier, and one step further outside, it may be heaven, or it may be hell.

But when I thought of Zou Yi'an and my father, I still jumped out.

When people are nervous, their senses are always extra sharp. The moment I landed, the late summer wind blew past my ears, and I seemed to hear the sound of tree branches being trampled on the wall.

Zou Yi'an was ten meters away.

He saw me and walked towards me, shouting "Ren Ke" in his mouth, looking happy.

"I thought you'd never want to see me again," he said.

"I don't want to see you, but I don't see you, and you are coming to me again." I rubbed my hands, but I could only smooth the sticky dirt in my palm.

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to know what I should do."

Zou Yi'an melted into the moonless night together with his crimes.

"Stop acting, aren't you tired?" I took the napkin from my trouser pocket, wiped the stains on my hands, and said to him: "I almost believe your words, tell me, what do you want?" What are you doing?"

He reacted quickly, and was about to spit out begging again, which was interrupted by me.

"Let's figure it out, are you at fault or not. If your brother, he forces you to do drugs, I'm assuming you take drugs out of necessity, you take drugs, and you drive on the road, why are you driving? Your brother forced you driving?

Officer Li stopped you. You parked the car on the side of the road and talked to him. You knew he was halfway in the car. Why did you step on the accelerator?

You say you are guilty, you are guilty, and then find someone to go to jail for you? "

Zou Yi'an stared at me, the neon lights of the city imprinted in his pupils, flashing a bright red light.

He didn't speak.

Gray clouds and mist enveloped the sky-high buildings. Behind me was the thick trunk of the sycamore tree. Water dripped from the canopy and hit my shoulder, finally vaporizing in the bone-biting resentment.

"Zou Yi'an, what do you want me to forgive you? What do you want to do to me?"

Zou Yian finally smiled.

The moment he curled up his mouth, I realized that the expressions I've seen on him—annoyed, begging, guilty—are not more real than his current smile.

I used to believe that he was repentant, and I always believed that he still had humanity.

He knelt so hard and looked so humble as he begged for forgiveness.

But all this is false.

I looked at him smiling and wanted to crush him to ashes.

I pinched the paper knife in my pocket and asked, "You knew from the beginning that I would be in the Gongde Hall, didn't you?"

He smiled provocatively, and the lines at the corners of his eyes danced—as if mocking my stupidity.

"Yes, I knew from the beginning that you were Li Guoan's son. I stayed in the drug rehabilitation center for a year, and every day, I was thinking about how to make you pay for Li Guoan." He widened his eyes, The whites of the yellow eyes were exposed, and the pupils of the pupils were filled with undisguised viciousness and fierceness, "Without Li Guoan, I would not have been sent to the drug rehabilitation center, and I would be happy forever."

At this moment, I was really speechless.

I want to call him a beast.

But animals are not enough to describe him.

"How is it, are you in pain? When I can't control myself, I think about you. I want you to taste my pain. You should also be locked up in that kind of place, chained, no I will give you food, but no water to drink." He gritted his teeth, his head trembling slightly following the words that jumped out.

"I've been thinking about it for a whole year, how can I make you feel uncomfortable, do you know what Li Guoan said to me when he stopped me on the road, he told me to be safe hahahaha, look at you, everything on your mind is written on your face Come on, do you hate me?"

I pushed the point of the knife out.

"When you saw me kneeling down, your expression was wonderful. You are just like Li Guoan. You are so naive. Are you moved by me? You want to forgive me, don't you?"

Zou Yi'an raised his head and couldn't help laughing. He laughed and said, "Little baby, you are so cute. It's worthwhile for me to find someone to investigate you for a whole year. They are right, arrest you, beat you and scold you , It’s not as good as watching yourself collapse. Your grades are not very good recently, did the teachers say you? Tsk tsk tsk, unfortunately, I didn’t expect it, you are quite smart, you figured it out so quickly.”

Every word he said hit me like a blunt weapon.

Pain is real pain.

After a long time, it will become numb.

I don't know how far Zou Yi'an has explored my character, but I think he also thinks too well of me.

He thought I was a kind and soft person, so he used the method he used to deal with kind people, trying to beat me down.

But I don't think I'm a good person.

Good people have good fate, I didn't.

"Zou Yi'an, do you know that there is a saying that villains die because they talk too much?" I took out the knife, and the diamond-shaped blade gleamed coldly under the street lamp.

His laugh stopped.

"You made an appointment at this place. There is no surveillance. I will stab you here, oh no, no need to stab, just cut your artery and you will die. I may not be able to deal with you, look at you like this Great, find someone to investigate me, and even find someone to go to jail for you, you are not just an ordinary rich second generation, you are awesome."

I wrinkled my nose in admiration for him.

Intellectually, I shouldn't be a judge, I can't convict him, and I can't execute him, but the law can't punish him, so what can I do.

I turned behind him and strangled his neck, reaching up to put the blade on his artery.

When my father taught me how to fight, he showed me many videos of gangsters taking hostages.When I saw it, I didn't think I would use this trick.

But I remember.

Use it now.

I might be a criminal.

I didn't feel like I was committing a crime when I beat Chen Kai, but that was a precursor to a crime.

Now that I hold the knife in my hand, if I press harder, blood will spurt from Zou Yi'an's neck.Thinking that I will become the Terminator, the tyrannical factor in my bones is activated.

"Drug abuse hurts your body." I whispered in his ear, "Look at you, you don't have the strength to resist at all."

He trembled, his legs trembled, and half of his body was nestled in my arms.

I don't want to hug such a person.

"Don't say I'm cruel, what you've done is much more cruel than me."

The epidermis on Zou Yi'an's neck was cut by the blade, and blood seeped out.As long as I have more strength in my hand, I can kill him.

I feel that I am quite calm at this time. There are two forces fighting in my mind. The good side says you can't do anything, and the bad side clamors "kill him, kill him". Carefully weigh the weight of the two sides.

"Zou Yi'an, do you want to live?"

He twisted his body forcelessly in my arms.

He is afraid of death.

"If you want to keep messing with me, it's not impossible. You are welcome to come. You'd better wait until I'm over the age to come, otherwise I can always come out. Come later, prepare more, and I will accompany you to the end." I pushed him away. Out, he fell to the ground.

Zou Yi'an supported his body with his hands, twisted his neck to look at me, and I saw his eyes again, which were full of shock and fear.

I think I may have just laughed again.

I don't feel in a good mood, nor do I feel contemptuous, but the corners of my mouth are hooked.

He stood up tremblingly, turned around to face me, and wanted to say something, but he probably didn't sort out his emotions well, so he didn't speak for a long time.

"The dog will jump over the wall when it is in a hurry. I will really kill you. I advise you, come back in a year. If you want to destroy my life, it is not enough to let me be imprisoned for five or ten years, at least Sentenced to life. I’m still underage, and you said that your death would be worthless.” I thought of him telling him to be careful when his father stopped him, and continued: “Be careful, Zou Yi’an, I don't want to die anyway."

His eyes widened, and he finally walked away in silence, staggering.

The wind blows the rain on the leaves.

There are still clouds and fog on the tall buildings.

Zou Yi'an will definitely use violence next time, if he will come.

But I don't think he will come, no matter how much power he has behind him, he will not come.

This is how I feel, and my hunches are always right.

I wanted to put the blade back into the hilt, only to realize that my whole body was out of strength.

I squatted down, and the branches fell from above. I suddenly remembered that there were also the sound of branches being trampled in my ears.

I can't believe the conjecture in my head.

But I still called out, "Fu Yixing?"

He really came out of the shadows.

I wanted to ask him a lot, but when I saw his deep eyes, I felt that there was nothing to ask.

Fu Yixing reached out to me and pulled me up from the ground.