Yi Xing

Zou Yi'an never gave up expressing his remorse.

Every day, he would kneel in front of Officer Li's ashes.

Same as I was last year.

When young monks saw him, they would put their hands together and say Amitabha.

I could hear their "Amitabha" speaking softer and softer.

Day after day, I watched Zou Yi'an's face swaying in front of my eyes.

Day after day, the cruel dream repeated without stopping.

He knelt down in front of me again.

"Get up, there are others here."

"I hope you can forgive me." He fell on the ground and looked up at me.

"Don't say it here."

I stepped out of the door and walked past the small pond where Fu Yixing had put the lamps—the lotus lamps were picked up by the monks and stored in the warehouse. There were real lotus flowers blooming in the pond, and I came to a secluded place.

Zou Yian followed me silently.

"Don't come again, I won't forgive you."

He grabbed my hand, "I beg you... I was sent to a rehab center by them, they chained me... I don't want to take drugs... I was forced... My brother, he hit me Filling the mouth with medicine... I never thought of harming anyone..."

From his intermittent narration, I vaguely felt a grievance between a rich and powerful family.

Zou Yi'an's mother intervened in a well-matched in-law, so that a good story ended in tragedy. His father's original partner chose to end his own life in a long-term depression, leaving his half-brother behind, exhausting all means To get revenge on him and his mother.

Zou Yi'an became his brother's prisoner for his mother's safety. His brother abused him, found someone to rape him, and injected him with drugs.

It sounds miserable.

I nodded.

So he can drive a sports car.

So he just went to rehab after killing a cop, and was free a year later.

"The story is wonderful." I shook off his hand.

"It's all true, I didn't lie to you...please...forgive me please...I haven't had a good night's sleep since that day...I beg you..."

He lifted his clothes up, revealing the red marks on his chest, "He branded me with shame...Look..."

He was originally a wealthy son with no worries about food and clothing.

Now people don't look like people, and ghosts don't look like ghosts.

Fate was also cruel to him.

I stared at him and said slowly, "I haven't had a good night's sleep since I saw you. You are miserable, and there are many miserable people in the world, but not all of them are like you. Things like that. You kill someone, get out of jail, and expect the relatives of the deceased to forgive you. It doesn’t make sense. There are no such good things in the world.”

Misfortune in the world is like an infinitely extending iron chain. People abandoned by fate are connected by this chain. The victim becomes a murderer, and the evil deeds are passed on.

Evil keeps looking for the next victim with its greedy eyes.

I hope Zou Yi'an is the last link on the chain, and I hope Uncle Cop's death brings at least an end.

Behind me is a bamboo forest, and the bamboo leaves are rustling by the hot wind.

I was very confused, but I still said: "Don't come to me again, I will never forgive you."

Zou Yi'an couldn't listen to what I said at all, and still came to the merit hall every day to kneel.

The monks started saying Amitabha to me.

I get it, they want me to let go too.

But they have never experienced this kind of pain at all, so what can they understand?

I feel that it is becoming more and more difficult for me to concentrate, my thoughts are often empty, and the dark circles under my eyes are getting heavier.

My uncle was worried about my health and told me to rest at home and stop helping in the temple.

I also felt that I couldn't bear to face Zou Yi'an every day, and my ears were filled with sighs from the monks, so I accepted my uncle's proposal.

On the day I bid farewell to the abbot, the old abbot with a gray beard made me a pot of good tea.

He has never been so determined to talk to me.

I knelt and sat on the futon, my heart full of apprehension.

"Don't be too restrictive, and don't take me for a monk." He added some tea to my cup.

The old monk smiled slightly and said the most common words.

He spoke slowly and skillfully, and I felt my spirit slowly relax.

I told him that I have been dreaming recently, dreaming of some tragic scenes.

He taught me some ways to calm down.

The curled edges of the tea leaves gradually stretch out in the hot water, and the tea floating on the water sinks gently to the bottom of the cup, and the hot water gradually shows its color with the overflowing tea fragrance.

In the meditation room, time slowed down.

After drinking a glass, the old monk sent me to the parking place.

He took off the sandalwood bracelet on his wrist and handed it to me, then patted my hand and said: "Kamma is connected to the third world, misfortune and fortune come from oneself."

I didn't understand what he meant, but he didn't explain much.

On the last day of summer vacation, Fu Yixing came to look for me at home with a pizza.

I didn't expect him to come, and I didn't come in time to fix the unrecognizable test paper.

"How did you do this?"

I sat on the bay window eating pizza while he checked my homework in my chair.

When it comes to homework, I inevitably think of Zou Yi'an.

"The summer vacation was too rough." I avoided his sight and looked out of the window sideways.

"Do you understand all the wrong questions?"

"kindness."

Understand?

May not quite understand.

I've been living like a dream recently, I don't know what I wrote down, and I don't have the heart to think about the wrong questions.

"Have you packed your clothes yet?"

"what?"

"Did you live in school without clothes?"

Oh yes, I have to live on campus

"There are also bed sheets, quilt covers and pillowcases. You don't have everything prepared, do you?"

I stuffed the last few mouthfuls of noodles into my mouth, thankful that Fu Yixing had come. "Go, go, go buy, there are no such things at home."

He looked at me helplessly, "It's too late to wash it now."

"Just sleep on it, you can't sleep on the bed."

"Auntie is not at home, let's see how rough you are."

I followed him to the home furnishing store, and found that Fu Yixing was much more particular than I imagined.

He went back and forth to compare a lot of bed materials that seemed to me to be similar, and he didn't make a decision for a long time.

I can only put my hands in and wait by the side.

"Boss Fu, it's almost enough."

He glanced at me, still picking.

"Did Tang Cheng look for you later?"

"No."

I sighed and didn't speak again.

Uncle watched us move our things home, and asked, "What are you going to do?"

"Didn't I need accommodation when I started school? I forgot about it. I didn't prepare anything."

He remembered this after listening to me, and looked a little annoyed, "I forgot too. Don't move, put it in my car, and take you there tomorrow. Yixing, I will ask you to take care of me in the future." Take care of Ren Ke, he is still young."

Fu Yixing smiled, "It should."

Fu Yixing has always had a brotherly demeanor. Not only are adults used to his role as a caregiver, but he himself enjoys it a bit.

"You went shopping with Brother Xing today? My mother scolded my father, so I can forget such an important thing. How about I ask my mother to go back to China early and clean up the dormitory for you?" Tang Cheng called When I came, I said a lot in one breath.

"I even forgot that I have to pack up. Let your mother spend more time with you. Fu Yixing will definitely clean up the dormitory."

"That's right. Alas, I have already bought many pairs of shoes here. It is almost free to buy sneakers here. I will ask my mother to bring you a few more pairs when I go back. There are also clothes, we can wear the same money."

When Tang Cheng wants to spend money, no one can stop him.

I think I will still buy it if I say I don’t need him at this time.

I chose not to continue this topic: "Fu Yixing said that you haven't looked for him, are you really going to break up with him like this?"

"I'm very hurt, let's take it easy. I went to the beach today and saw a lot of beautiful girls. Now I think girls are better than boys."

I wondered if he was saying this to coax me or if he really had this idea. Before I could answer him, he said again, "You know, I met a senior girl. Her family is also in Tongcheng. She is very nice. I took a look at her." I feel very kind…”

"Hearted?"

"Don't think of me like that..."

Listening to Tang Cheng's voice, I can imagine his aggrieved expression, "I'll just ask casually, why are you nervous."

He smiled, and the radio traveled thousands of miles, but it didn't disturb the clean boyishness in his smile.

"My dad also said that your mental state is not very good these days. Did you miss me?"

I felt my throat tighten and I couldn't speak for a moment.

I know better than anyone that my mental state is very bad, but I can't find a way to break it.

I can always think of the way Zou Yi'an talked about his own destiny.

I always dream of bloody scenes.

There was a slight breathing sound from the earphones, I didn't know if it was Tang Cheng's breathing or mine.

"Well, I think what you think."

There are many kinds of bitterness in this world, but Tangcheng should be sweet.