Yi Xing

Tang Cheng waited until I finished taking a shower before lying on my bed with the pillow in his arms.

The first thing he said was, "My mother's illness should be cured, although the doctor said that a reexamination is still needed."

I understood what he meant, but I didn't know how to respond.

He didn't want me to tell him something, he was just talking, trying to make his own choices.

"The doctor also said that she should keep a good mood, why do you think she can't accept homosexuality?

Am I really, no chance? "

He had just washed his face, and the broken hair on his forehead was wet with water, and the strands were knotted together.

I looked at him and lay down on the bed, "Tell me, do you have to have him."

"When I was in the fourth grade, my dad started to do business in Tongcheng, so I transferred here. I can't speak the dialect here, and I can't understand some people's words. , so I kept speaking Mandarin, just because I couldn’t speak Tongcheng dialect, the boys didn’t want to play with me, they would bully me, put bugs in my pencil case, and stick stickers on my back.

I met Brother Xing several times in the community, and he and I were in the same class, so I wondered if he could help me.

I brought him a lot of food, but as you know, he doesn’t talk too much, and he doesn’t like forming cliques. He didn’t say whether he wants to be my friend, and he never accepts gifts from me. food.

But following him, not many people will bully me anymore.

One day I had a bad stomach and threw up in class. Everyone thought I was disgusting. It was really disgusting. It smelled sour and smelly. I wanted to drag those things away by myself, but when I smelled the smell I feel sick even more.At that time, I was really sad, physically uncomfortable, and even more sad in my heart. I still remember the way some people covered their noses.They hate me.But Brother Xing asked a girl to take me to the infirmary. When I walked out of the class, I saw him go get a mop.I cried at that time, I thought how could there be such a good person in the world. "

This is the story of Little Tang City and Little Fu Yixing.

Fu Fu has been a very good person since then.

"Afterwards, I followed him all the time. He would lend me pens and books. At that time, it was popular to send greeting cards. Everyone sent them back and forth at Christmas. He received a lot, but I didn't have anything. I told him that I don’t have a greeting card. The next day he put a three-dimensional one on my desk. Many girls envied me, so Fu Yixing only gave me a greeting card. Later, someone and I I played because they found out that brother Xing was kind to me. When I was in junior high school, brother Xing sent me to a good school. I studied hard and wanted to continue to be friends with him.

In the end, I wasn't the one who passed the exam. My dad sponsored a sum of money to the school and arranged for me to be in Brother Xing's class.

You told me that day that if Fu Yixing was a girl, then what would happen to Xin'er, I really think it makes sense.When I was with Xiner, I always felt that there was something missing between me and her. How do you say that word, bond?But I think I have that kind of relationship with Brother Xing.But this is all my self-righteousness, and it's just my unilateral feeling that there can be something between us.

After he came out, I also searched, gay or something, I don't think I have much yearning for boys' bodies, but I still think I like him.But after watching the movie, I had a dream at night, dreaming of being with him..."

I interrupted him, "Did you dream that the two of you did it? Then, who was the one who got raped? It couldn't be Fu Yixing, right?"

"it's me."

I also think it should be so.

But obviously I'm focusing on the wrong thing.

"But don't you think it will be very humiliating, obviously everyone is a man, why are you the one who gets fucked?"

Tang Cheng turned his head around, looked at me with a complicated face, and said, "Is this important?"

I think it is quite important, related to the dignity of a man.

But this is also a matter between them.

"It's okay, you continue."

"He is a very good person, and I really want to be with him. I really want to pursue him, but I find that I don't seem to have any outstanding features. I don't think I can stand beside him. "Well, I don't think I'm good enough for him."

I want to tell him that you are completely worthy, but Fu Yixing is indeed a fairy in my heart. I can't imagine what kind of person can be evenly matched with him.

Of course, love doesn't have to be evenly matched.

"He even came out of the closet so decisively, I didn't have that courage at all. When my mother was sick, I thought I was really unlucky, why did I meet such a big resistance, but in fact...even if my mother is not sick , just don't agree, I might still... I'm really scared. Besides, he still has someone he likes. I think there are too many things blocking me. I really like him, but I, it seems that I don't Way to be with him."

I was silent for a long time, not knowing how to comment.

"I wanted to ask last time. Did he tell you that he has no thoughts about you or what? I think Fu Yixing would cover up his feelings very well... Do you understand? It doesn't mean he doesn't like you... Of course I I don't want to encourage you to try again, after all, my aunt doesn't like you like this."

Tang Cheng smiled bitterly, "He doesn't see me."

I don't want to argue with him whether Fu Yixing likes him or not. Now that Tang Cheng has shown me his most vulnerable side, I still think he can't.

"Then you really gave up?"

He closed his eyes, and snorted softly, "I've decided to leave... It's hard to love a foreign country."

I suddenly remembered the girl who wrote me a love letter.

Did she give up on me just like Tang Cheng did?

I squeezed his arm and said, "You're going to meet a girl who's right for you."

In any case, the current result is the choice Tang Cheng made after he calmed down. Obviously, this is the most suitable choice.

Tang Cheng turned over, looked at me for a while, and then suddenly put his hand on my dick.

I was taken aback by him, "What are you doing!"

He moved towards me, "If you can have a morning erection, you can be hard, right?"

I clapped his hands away, "I said I have no problem with my physical function."

He didn't continue to do anything to me, "After a while, I'm leaving, and I said I'd be with you. Ren Ke, go find a psychiatrist, and I'll be with you."

"Are you afraid that I'll get depression? It's just that I don't feel impulsive towards anyone. It's not a big problem, right?"

Tang Cheng's eyes should be Danfeng eyes, which look like single eyelids, but there are deep creases at the end of his eyes. He is very close to me, and I can tell that he has double eyelids.

"You, do you think you are living happily now?"

He asked seriously.

I think I have to seriously give him an answer.

I think I am happy. When I am loved, I am very happy and feel very warm.

There is a pair of good parents around me, there is a long way to go, who is careless, there is Gu Yang who is occasionally unreliable but most of the time is very reliable, there is Tang Cheng who asks me if I am happy now, and there is a star who is like a star Fu Yixing.

I am very satisfied.

"I live happily."

Tang Cheng smiled, "Sometimes I feel that you are very restrained, and I am afraid that you will be unhappy if you do this. Although I don't know if this is good, but in the future, you don't have to wrong yourself."

I nodded at him.

What a great thing it is to have a cousin. Tang Cheng is sweet, and life is sweet by his side.

Chen Kai came to school the next day and didn't change his clothes.

I heard that his class teacher called him to the office for a long time.

Then he went home.

In the past few days, he likes to come to Fu Yixing again.

Mr. Fu also knew that he might be depressed after losing the game, so he was very polite to him.

I think I have to thank Chen Kai, otherwise I didn't know that Fu Yixing was going to Beijing to participate in the national finals in mid-April, and I didn't know that Province S was organizing a closed self-study for the provincial team members these days.

It is said that most of the team members are studying in a vocational school on the outskirts of Tongcheng.

Fu Yixing never mentioned this to anyone, so we don't know.

He hasn't been concentrating on doing the questions recently, and occasionally takes off his earphones to listen to the lectures.

Chen Kai came to Fu Yixing frequently, and the eternal theme was "You should work on the questions with those team members instead of just idle around in school."

It was the first time I heard him say that, and I thought it made sense, after all, Fu Yixing was a seeded player.

The second time I heard him say that, I think Chen Kai is not bad, and he always worries about Mr. Fu.

The third time I saw Chen Kai appearing in our class, when he said the words "idle and idle", I felt that he took too much control.

Fu Yixing didn't react too much when he heard the word, which was how others seemed to be.

But I know he is not happy.

He is not the kind of person who is so good-tempered that he can be bullied.

Boss Fu still didn't have an attack, but turned around and said to Chen Kai: "Whether he goes or not is none of your business."

That sounds pretty cool.

Chen Kai ignored Tiao Tiao at all, and said to Fu Yixing, "I'm doing it for your own good."

"Thank you, I'm fine now." He plugged in his headphones.

"Did you hear that? He's very nice." Yuji dragged Chen Kai out again.

Chen Kai looked a bit downcast, he pushed his glasses, struggled away, shouted "Don't touch me!", brushed off his sleeves, and walked out of the classroom by himself.

Yuan Yuan watched Chen Kai leave from the window, then leaned on the table with his elbows, leaned forward and said, "Is he sick? The teacher didn't let Mr. Fu go to that poor school... I went there before to take the exam, and there The environment is horrible, do you know that the toilet is a long strip, not the one that everyone can flush after using it... I saw that toilet was held all the way to the subway station, and I almost vomited, it made me sick .”

I raised my eyebrows and said, "He didn't know it was so bad there, he was really thinking of Mr. Fu."

Gu Yang didn't say a word for a long time, and suddenly said: "Don't you think his desire to control is a bit too strong?"

Chen Kai is indeed a bit strange.

The cafeteria made fish heads with chopped peppers at noon. I was so spicy that Fu Yixing gave me his own wing root and took the fish away.

Gu Yang and Lu Yuyao were no strangers to his behavior, but I was a little embarrassed myself.

"That Chen Kai, isn't his grades pretty good, why did he only get the third prize this time?" Lu Tuantu also felt that the spicy fish was too much to eat, so he picked and ate the shredded pork in the stir-fried cauliflower.

Fu Yixing said, "I'm too nervous."

Gu Yang nodded, "He's too concerned about gains and losses. I think he must be the kind of person who can't sleep before the exam. Mr. Fu, I don't think you've been brushing up questions recently. Do you feel stable?"

"No."

Is he a little humble?

I said, "I'll bring you some walnuts in the future, to nourish your brain."

He smiled.

"It's easy to get bald when you study mathematics. Let me bring you a bottle of Bawang. My mother's company has distributed a lot recently." After eating the shredded pork, Lu Yanjiu started tossing the fish with chopsticks again.

Gu Yang said: "Can you shut up?"

"I do not."

Baldness seems to be hereditary. I have never met Mr. Fu's father, "Does your father have a lot of hair?"

"That's a lot."

For some unknown reason, Lu Yao became excited again, "The hair is thick, hehe."

I think I should have understood his point. For some reason, I suddenly remembered the movie I watched that day. The private parts of the two male actors were also cleanly shaved.

Is it necessary for shooting?

I find it kind of weird.

"Why do you think those male actors have to shave their hair? Last time I saw that, both of them had no hair on their bodies. It's not impossible for normal people not to grow hair."

Yuan Yuan and Gu Yang looked at each other, and suddenly smiled evilly.

Fu Yixing put down his chopsticks, "Two men? Why do you want to see something like that?"

I suddenly realized that I shouldn't have said this, so I laughed and laughed: "Just take a look..."

The corners of his mouth slightly curved into an almost invisible arc, and when he looked up at me, I had another inexplicable illusion. His eyes were somewhat wild, like a leopard watching an antelope on the African grassland.

"Boss Fu, since you like boys, you should study more, right? Shall I share some resources with you?" Yuan Yuan's eyes lit up.

He has always been keen to see Fu Yixing develop emotions and desires, and he also likes to share the seeds in his hands with others.

Fu Yixing didn't say no, although he didn't say yes, but I don't think he meant no.

"It's a long way, I've always been curious, aren't you a straight man, I can understand that you take Lily tablets, what do you do with calcium tablets?" I asked.

"I thought what if you need it someday? Right? Do you think you want it with me?"

Gu Yangle went crazy, sitting next to me trying to restrain his laughter.

What he said was wrong, but I couldn't even refute it.

I did ask him for it.

For a while I didn't know what to say to prove my innocence, although I wasn't innocent either.

Fu Yixing said, "I want to see what he has seen."

"I've only seen one!" I don't know if anyone will believe what I said at this time, "Really, what's the name of the beach, I haven't seen the others."

When I walked out of the cafeteria, Gu Yang whispered in my ear, "I thought you showed it to Mr. Fu."

I bit the bullet and told him: "No, I watched it myself."

Gu Yang smiled again and didn't ask any more questions.

After school, I followed Fu Yixing to the carport, remembering that I still owe him a wish.

"What do you want?"

He froze for a moment, and then said, "Slow down first, is that okay? Let me think about it."

"It's okay, think slowly. I won't forget."

Spring blooms extremely strongly at this time, and there is a burst of power everywhere.

When I pushed the cart past the main building, I saw that the crabapple tree was full of flower buds.

I don't know if the begonias in the school are particularly inclusive, or all begonias have this character. When they bloom, the trees are not all pink and white. Trees that don't grow leaves sometimes, in terms of color, crabapple is not dominant, but I think pink and green are the cutest.

I still remember how they bloomed last year.

In a blink of an eye, Fu Yixing and I also experienced summer, autumn, winter and spring together.

The road from the carport to the school gate has the scenery in the early morning and the style in the evening. It looks beautiful when it snows, and it makes people happy in spring.

This season, this campus, is the best time to fall in love.

"Fu Fu, what do you think of Tangcheng?"

"How about what?"

"That is, is the boy you like the type of Tangcheng?"

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes were especially beautiful against the twilight.

"What type is he?"

"Slim, small, with skin as white as milk, and a beautiful face. That's the feeling of a young master from Jiangnan."

"do not like."

I reached out and touched the bell next to the handlebar.

A crisp sound pierced the tranquility of the evening.

Fu Yixing won't lie to me. My relationship with him, at least in my opinion, cannot be measured by time, so I don't think he will lie to me.

It was true that Tang Cheng said that Fu Yixing didn't like him.

At the beginning, I also hoped that Mr. Fu would not like Tang Cheng, but when he said it, I felt sorry for Tang Cheng.

"I thought you would like Tang Cheng."

Fu Yixing frowned, "Why do you think so?"

"do not know."

He didn't speak for a long time, and finally popped out: "What about you? Why do you want to watch G'V?"

I don't want to tell Tang Cheng. I think if I stand in Tang Cheng's position, I won't want to let a person I like unilaterally know that I have suffered so much for him. It would be embarrassing. I would rather he didn't know .

So I'm going to tell a lie.

"I'm just curious if I like boys too."

"and then?"

"I..." I looked at him, "Fu Fu, do you think I'm sad?"

There are many circles of vines wrapped around the iron fence at the school gate. I am a little afraid of such plants. They can grow crazily, choke people's throats, and suffocate people. But in summer, roses can bloom on these vines.

I'm afraid of it, but I also like it.

It's like I am in awe of fate, but I want to learn to love it.

Fu Yixing's pupils are like a dark cave, unfathomable, but when you fall, you will be caught by the thick sedge at the bottom of the cave.

He stared at me, "I think, now you don't have to be sad."

He seems to have superpowers, and he seems to understand what I'm talking about, even though he has no context.

I don't think Tang Cheng would tell Fu Yixing about such private matters, so how would he know what I was asking.

I took a deep breath, and then said: "I, I can't be hard on boys and girls, that is, I don't have that kind of thought, but my body is healthy... Do you understand? Tang Cheng said, this is a psychological problem .”

Fu Yixing was a little surprised, and his brows furrowed even tighter.

I was afraid that he would be worried, so I continued: "This should be temporary, I think I will definitely meet someone..."

"You haven't liked anyone yet, have you?" he cut me off.

I nodded.

He pursed his lips, his face was a little stern, but he quickly returned to a soft look. When he was with me, he mostly looked like that, "It's okay."

Then he added, "You'll meet. Don't be afraid. Be happy."

Fu Yixing said I would, so I will.

I have always believed in what he said.

When I rode downstairs to my house, I said goodbye to him.

He stopped me and yelled "keke".

I felt that all the muscles in my body tensed up. Yuan Yuan and Gu Yang often called me that, and Tang Cheng occasionally called me that, but Fu Yixing never called me "Ke Ke".

He refers to me as "you" when talking to me and "he" when referring to me.

He calls others by their full names. More often, when the context is complete, there is no need to call names. He will use pronouns.

This is the first "keke".

When he called me that, it made my heart beat hard.

It's very strange, when I encounter a problem I don't know in class, the teacher clicks "Ren Ke", and my heart beats nervously. Right now, Fu Yixing didn't call my name, but I felt the rise and fall of my chest.

I turned to look at him stiffly, not knowing what he was going to do.

He just raised his eyebrows, "It's okay, I just called you, see you tomorrow."

After speaking, I rode on the bike and left. I watched him leave, and my heart was still beating very fast.