Yi Xing

That night I sat on the bay window and thought a lot.

With people like Tang Cheng and Fu Yixing by my side, it is inevitable that I want to follow the light and warmth.

I want to jump out of the tragic fate, I want to like without any scruples, I want to love life.

But can I really leave everything behind and start a new life?

I do not know.

Opening the photo album, my mother is gentle, and my father is also kind. They hugged me, and their eyes were full of hope—they were looking forward to my safe growth; there are not many photos of the traffic police uncle and me, and there is one on the training ground. They are all disheveled, but they are all in good spirits. He thinks that I am physically strong, and I can protect myself first, and then have the strength to protect others.

I've safely grown to this age, finally able to fight a little bit, but they're gone.

I caressed the photos of the past, and touched every relative I lost. Most of the photo paper is smooth, and some have bumps and ups and downs, but the photos are just photos after all. I can’t touch them anymore. They can’t be with me anymore. grow up.

I really want to meet them.

Even in a dream.

But then, for a long time, I slept well, which was a blessing in disguise, since fate doesn't like to grant my wishes.

I ran into Fu Yixing on the way to school on Monday. Maybe I frightened him because of my gloomy face when I was alone. He hurriedly asked me why I was in a bad mood early in the morning.

I shook my head and said it was fine.

"Tell me about it. Maybe I can help you sort it out."

I rode the bicycle side by side with him and told him that I haven't had a dream recently. Although the content of the dream is not very good, I have had it for a long time.

He pondered for a while, then asked, "Is it about your relatives?"

I think I've talked too much with him, and he doesn't really need to share my grief.

I didn't answer, and he didn't force me to ask, just kept silent all the way.

At the school gate, Fu Yixing made a beautiful tail wag when he braked, and stretched his long legs diagonally in front of me.

He said, "Ren Ke, it's a good thing not to have nightmares."

I laughed, not because of his words, but because his whole set of movements was too different from his own temperament, like an idiot.

I also know that it is a good thing not to have nightmares, but I am too strict with fate.

When I got to the classroom, the class was empty, but there was a letter on my desk.

At first I thought someone misplaced it, but on the envelope was written "Ren Ke Shou", which was a girl's handwriting, beautiful and neat.

Fu Yixing also saw it, and he immediately said, it couldn't be a love letter.

I smiled, I don't know.

I carefully opened the envelope when I heard him pull out the chair and sit down. Regardless of whether it was a love letter or not, I opened it as if it were a love letter.

This is the first time I have received such kindness. In the past, when girls confessed to me, most of them used text messages or QQ, and there were also some in person, but no one used this form.

I have always felt that words are far more powerful than words in expressing emotions, and words are better than electronic media.

Some people express their feelings to me at length on QQ. I can feel their uneasiness, and I can imagine their concern for me, but QQ is not suitable for sending long messages. A paragraph is divided into dozens of lines. Read The effect is very poor; there are also people who post paragraph by paragraph, but don't like to add punctuation marks.

A bold girl, or a girl who is brave because of love, said to me: "I like you." The voice is trembling, but argumentative essays always need some arguments to support, and lyrical prose also needs to spend some space Lyrically, it takes courage to say that I like you, and then there is a long silence. I am waiting for her to say the reason, and I am willing to think about it if it can move me, but often there is no more.

For these confessions, I have no other choice but to express my gratitude.

This letter is very different.

First of all, the writing is very good and beautiful, like a breeze passing by, and the spring water stinging, I can feel that she is trying her best to conceal the emotions that are about to burst out, and narrates her first encounter with me, without exaggeration or exaggeration, but between the lines. like.

It is a sentimental narrative prose.

I don’t remember what she said, but it was probably before the entrance ceremony, I helped her move the chairs for a while, and I moved a lot of chairs that day.

The second is that the format is complete, and there are good wishes for me at the end.

Again, the preparation was done with care, there was no trace of modification in the full text, it was written with a pen, and there was a faint scent of sweet-scented osmanthus on the letter paper, which smelled very pleasant. I guess she left the flowers and the letter together overnight.

I couldn't hold back, and read the two pieces of paper over and over several times.

"So pretty?" Fu Yixing's voice came from behind, which startled me again, and I almost folded the paper with a trembling hand.

Other people's thoughts are actually very private things, but this love letter is so well written that I can't help but want to show it off.

I waved to Fu Yixing and asked him to come and see.

He stayed on the second page for a long time, and finally spoke, "She didn't sign it, do you know who it is?"

I said I don't know.

"Then what are you going to do?" He looked quite serious, and he didn't envy me for receiving such a love letter.

I shrugged, "Wait and see."

I finished my gym class early, and I still had time to hang out on the playground by myself.

The ginkgo tree beside the playground is already yellow, and a red rope is tied to the iron-black trunk.

This has been a tradition in Hua'an for several years. Every year when the ginkgo leaves fall, students write and draw on the fallen leaves, which are tied to the ropes.

Receiving such a love letter in the morning made me feel a little turbulent all day, and now I feel even better when I see the beautiful scenery.

I went around the tree and looked at the ginkgo leaves left by others.

"I want to become stronger."

"We're all going to be fine."

"Like XXX."

"In good health."

...

Everyone writes with sincerity.

I bent down to pick up the pens and leaves stuck on the ground, when I suddenly heard footsteps behind me.

I couldn't help guessing that it was Fu Yixing who came, but when I turned around, I realized it was really him.

Maybe today is very different, there are unexpected joys and wishes come true.

I stood up and smiled at him, after thinking about it, I squatted down and found him a leaf with a good shape and a pen.

Fu Yixing said, "I won't write it, the handwriting is not good-looking."

His handwriting is really bad.

"Then what do you want to write, I'll write it for you?" I was surprised that I was so patient today that I invited him to do this kind of thing over and over again.

Fu Yixing said, just write what you want.

For the first time, I found that he was quite difficult to serve, and what he said was different from casual.

"Then I'll write it, and I won't show it to you after I finish it."

I really didn't show it to him. I pinned it to a tree after I finished writing it, and dragged him away.

In fact, I didn’t write anything special, the leaf was just a small piece, and I couldn’t write many words. I wrote to myself "The boat will pass away, and the river and the sea will send the rest of my life", without much special meaning, but I just remembered this sentence suddenly.

The one for Fu Yixing is even more straightforward, it is "WishMr.Fuallthebest"

Don't you like to wish your friends "everything goes well" on the Internet, that's what it means.

After lunch at noon the next day, Lu Yu pulled me and Fu Yixing to talk about two things.

First, he went to the teacher's office to heat up meals in the microwave, and after a while, there was a letter on my desk, which was obviously a love letter secretly placed by someone else.

The second thing is that Fu Yixing may be in love, and there is a bookmark made of ginkgo leaves in the book, and the content is ambiguous.

Yuan Yuan thinks that this is a manifestation of me and Fu Yixing being in full bloom. I hope that the person involved will not hide it, and speak out when there is a situation.

I think the girl didn't choose the right time. It stands to reason that there will be no one in the class at meal time, but Tiao Tiao's legs are not healed yet, so she can't go to the cafeteria to eat. If she doesn't come in time, she will run into Tiao Tiao.

I smiled and didn't want to explain, so I turned my back and opened the letter, and it really belonged to her.

"It's a love letter, but I don't know who it is. What's the matter with Mr. Fu, have you used all the tokens of love?" I deliberately exaggerated, thinking about using Fu Yixing to divert the fire.

"Holy shit, Mr. Fu really left the group???????? I thought you were a fairy who didn't eat the fireworks of the world? You can also fall in love?"

Fu Yixing frowned, obviously he didn't like Lu Yuanyuan's statement, and he didn't explain, just said: "Why? I can't fall in love?"

Clasping his fists together, he said, "Of course you can, but please don't talk about it secretly. Hua'an encourages free love, and I beg you to abuse the dog openly."

Hua An is indeed not against falling in love. Male and female school uniforms are of the same style and different colors, and they look like couples’ outfits. When they wear sportswear in spring and autumn, a man and a woman walk together alone, and they look very young and ambiguous. The boy is dressed in blue, The girl is all red, which is very conspicuous.

I squinted my eyes and smiled, Fu Yixing was a little abnormal.

Fu Yixing took a look at me and told me to go and have a look.

Isn't the leaf I wrote to him yesterday in his book?

"Wish Mr. Full the best."

The tail of the F is a little curly. I like to write it like this regardless of capitalization. I am very familiar with that line.

Where is this token of love?

Fu Yixing's face was expressionless, and his eyes were full of sarcasm, "A token of love."

Lu Juan also craned his neck to look at it, nodded while watching, and praised: "This girl's handwriting is really good, she must be kind-hearted."

I felt the veins on my forehead twitch, and I also felt Mr. Fu's low pressure. He was blaming me for wronging him like Yuan Yuan.

Fu Yixing and I are together all day long, how could I not know that he is in love.

Lu Tiaoyuan tricked me this time, and Fu Yixing hasn't been angry with me yet.

"Thank you for your compliment." I gritted my teeth and rubbed my hair.

"You're welcome, you're welcome." Yuan Yu said it generously, and felt something was wrong when he finished speaking, and raised his head suddenly, "No, Keke, are you dating Mr. Fu?"

I am completely convinced.

"Didn't you just dance together, why did you dance out of feelings, my God... I don't agree with you guys being gay, but Keke, have you thought about it clearly? It's easy to misfire during adolescence, but that's not necessarily the case. It's love... Oh my God, is that love letter also your hobby..."

……

"I wrote the bookmark. I'm not talking about love. The love letter is from a girl. Do you have any questions?"

Lu Tianyuan finally shut up, turned back and pretended to do homework.

No matter how rough-headed people are, they could see that Fu Yixing's face was very ugly at the moment.

I winked at him, but he ignored me and took out the paper with a dark face to write.

Probably, maybe, maybe, I need to give Mr. Fu some time to calm down.

He'll forgive me when school is over, right?

I returned to my seat anxiously, and turned back to look at him, but he didn't look up.

What's the matter.

After most of the people in the front row had gone to rest for the afternoon, I secretly took out the second love letter from the drawer to read.

This letter is about her observation of me later.

Just like the first letter, there is a sweet fragrance on the paper, it has not been altered, and it is sincere.

For the first time, I found myself such a good person.

In the first year of high school, she was not in the same class as me, and occasionally saw me passing by, or joking with friends in the corridor.

She described me as a piece of warm jade, clear on the inside and warm on the outside.

I know there is something in her words. There is no eternal warm jade in the world. She borrowed that line from the poem, "The bright moon in the sea has tears, and the warm jade in the blue field produces smoke".

She likes to see me smile.

At that time, I really could stand the good things she said, my mind was open, and I treated people well.

Would she still like me if she knew what I was going through in the near future, thinking about negative things every day?

Later, when I saw a rough road, I wanted to leave. It was not the same as before.

I think she must be a very good girl, with high literary accomplishment, beautiful handwriting, rigorous and serious work, and deep affection.

I couldn't help but guess what she looked like.

Although I like to look at faces, I don't necessarily have to find a beautiful girlfriend.

Her love letters are truly touching.

I'm also an emotional person, otherwise I wouldn't think love letters are romantic. Emotional people are easily moved. I want to try it with her.

Fu Yixing was still angry when school was over.

I wanted to share the second love letter with him and he was still unwilling, so I insisted on letting him read it before he read it with a cold face.

After reading it, he snorted.

"I've shown you such a private thing as an apology, okay? I just want to show you." His face softened, but he was still unhappy.

I explained again, "I didn't know that you picked up that leaf and made it into a bookmark. I misunderstood what you said. I thought it was given to you by some girl."

He was upset again and said "I like you?"

I was really aggrieved, I didn’t understand why he was angry, and said: “You are so handsome, it’s normal for a girl to like you and give you a gift, everyone calls you a male god, it’s strange that a male god doesn’t have a gift Bar."

"I won't accept things from them, only you will treat love letters like treasures."

I do look like a baby.

"I just like this kind of lyrical way, and you don't know how hard she is. It was written with a pen, without stains or alterations. It means that it was copied later. She wrote these words more than once. Also, there is The fragrance, but not the perfume she wears. She knows that I don’t hate osmanthus. To you, it may be just a love letter. In my opinion, this is all her heart for me. This thing is written for me. If I If she doesn't accept it, how else can she deal with it?"

Fu Yixing's eyelashes trembled, and his brows finally became less tight.

"Fu Yixing, there are not many people in this world who can like me so much. I don't want to let her down."

He sighed and said, "I'm just mad at you for being by my side all day, but you still feel that I'm dating behind your back. I won't be like this."

I laughed and teased him and said: "I thought you were angry and misunderstood us. In fact, you are not at a disadvantage when we are together. You see that Yuanyuan is trying to persuade me to think twice, but he didn't persuade you to think twice, which means that we are at a disadvantage. It's me, and my appearance is more than enough for you. Mr. Fu doesn't think about me?"

Fu Yixing glanced at me faintly.

The eyes are really gloomy.

Probably, straight men don't like to make CP for themselves.

"The love letter is still serialized, you don't want to know who gave it to you?"

"I want to know, not only want to know, but also want to fall in love with her."

Fu Yixing took the letter and read it several times, "What else is there to write here besides praising you, are you so superficial?"

I snatched the letter back, smoothed it carefully, put it in the folder, and then said to him, "I just like others to praise me."

"Then you go early tomorrow, bring your own lunch, and you can catch her."

I laughed again, "Boss Fu, you really don't understand girls. If she wants me to know who she is right away, she will give a hint in the letter. She hides so well that she doesn't want me to know her identity for the time being. Maybe To be the last to tell me, or to never tell me. I have to respect her choice."

I also have to give myself time to think, the me she likes is not the me I am now, if I immediately know who she is and agree to her heart, I have no confidence that she will not be disappointed in me.

I am very different from before.

This letter has been serialized intermittently for a long time, and it was interrupted for a while before the midterm exam.

I never knew there were so many details in my life.

For example, when it rains, I yawn a lot.

Let's say it grows the thickness of a brick in one year.

I didn't even care about how much I grew, the numbers on the medical examination form are very abstract.

I am more and more moved, and more and more want to know who she is.

After such a long period of time, I figured it out very clearly, whether she looks good or not, I can't respond to her, her liking is too strong and I can't afford it.

She gradually mentioned how I was now, and said that I showed some sad emotions more often than before. I thought I was doing well in school, but she caught it.

She said that whatever the reason, she wanted me to cheer up.

Later, the sweet-scented osmanthus withered, and the fragrance on the paper also dissipated.

She doesn't know that I still like roses. I never showed it. It's unreasonable for a man to like roses. Fortunately, I didn't show it. If every letter had to be infected with roses, it would be too expensive for her.

When the first winter snow fell in Tongcheng, she just left me the last letter.

The snow that was not predicted by the meteorological station was caught off guard.

Her parting was also caught off guard.

She said that she was going abroad to study art, and the love in her youth was the most memorable. She had no confidence that I could fall in love with her, so she decided to adopt a secret love method, and couldn't bear the fact that her love ended without a problem. I tell.

She was very happy that I could treat her heart well, and she was even more convinced that I was worthy of all her love.

She said that she hoped that her liking would give me some strength. She knew better than anyone else that Ren Ke was a particularly good person.

She was cruel and unilaterally said goodbye without giving me a chance to say goodbye.

The love letter is over, and I feel that I have also ended a love that never happened, which is very hurt.

It was almost dark when school was over, and the days in winter are always so short.

The street lamps on campus and the last glimmer of the sun illuminated the finely divided snow particles.

The climate in the south of the Yangtze River is like this. It can afford snow, but it can't keep it. Only after seeing the snowflakes through street lamps can we know that it has really fallen.

It is only December now, and it is not yet the coldest time. The temperature on the ground is slightly higher, and it will melt as soon as it lands.

I suddenly understood Tang Cheng's feeling of falling out of love, no wonder he was sad for spring and autumn.

I pushed the cart and walked around the campus with Fu Yixing, and finally couldn't hold back a long sigh.

"Are you in love with her?" Boss Fu stopped and looked up at Xue.

I said, it's not like I like it, but I cherish it very much. I am very happy that she wrote me a love letter.

Fu Yixing looked down at me, his eyes were a little dazed, and there were some emotions that I couldn't understand. He asked, "Then why are you so sad?"

Am I "so" sad, it's such a small thing compared to the death I've experienced, how can I be visibly sad.

I'm just a little sad.

Fu Yixing must be exaggerating.

She is too, and he is too, and it can be seen that I feel that I have received a good mood.

I also said that I was looking forward to receiving her letter every day, and every day I was looking forward to it, but she suddenly announced that it was over, and the expectation fell through.

Fu Yixing pushed the car forward again, and said as he walked, "Although I can suggest you to find her and continue your expectations... It's not difficult to be in a foreign country. But I don't want to say that, and you understand it yourself Right, you let go of every chance to find her."

The words were sharp, unlike his style.

He went on to say, "So cheer up, there are many other things to look forward to in life, look forward to it..."

Fu Yixing paused, as if he didn't know what to say.

"Look forward to yourself."

I smiled, followed up and asked, "Fu Yixing, you've also finished the series, tell me, am I as good as she described?"

He obviously knew that I was in a better mood and wanted to hear compliments, so he didn't answer.

The snowflakes fell on the tip of his thumb. I don't know if it was because his hands were so cold that they didn't melt for a long time.

I felt a little strange, how could a living person have such a low body temperature, so I stretched out my left hand to wipe off the snowflakes, and felt that his hand was very cold, so I rubbed the back of his hand holding the handlebar.

He reacted too much and almost lost his grip on the faucet, so I immediately withdrew my hand.

After he adjusted his center of gravity, he said, "Wear gloves tomorrow. Winter is really here."

The road from the carport to the school gate was extremely long, and when we stepped out of the school gate, the car body was shaken twice by the track of the retractable door on the ground.

Fu Yixing stepped on the bike, turned his head and said, "You are better than what she described." Then he pedaled hard twice and rode away.

That's a great compliment.

Hear me a little swell.