It's better to be nostalgic

09

It snowed heavily in Beijing for several days in a row, Pei Jingyan finished the high-level meeting and stood in front of the window to watch the snow.

The heating is on in the office, and he is holding a cup of American style. He has indeed changed a lot in the past six years, from the sweetness in the past to now wishing to drink all the bitter coffee in the world. Life is not sweet, and bitter coffee can keep him awake .

The receptionist dialed into the internal line and said that someone wanted to find him. When he opened the video, it was a completely unfamiliar face. He was about to press the reject button, but he heard the person say that Jiang Yunian asked her to come. He thought for two seconds, but he still invited her. up.

After the trouble in the parking lot last time, Jiang Yunian seemed to have evaporated. There was no news for almost half a month, and the background of WeChat was changed to pure black. Pei Jingyan edited many messages and wanted to send them, but he couldn't click the send button after all.

The person who came was holding a DVD with "Island" written on it. Pei Jingyan instantly understood that this was a movie he hadn't watched last time at his house.Lin Xi handed him the DVD and said, "Hello, I'm Lin Xi, Director Jiang's assistant. Director Jiang's family has something to do recently, and he asked me to give this to you."

Pei Jingyan took the DVD and asked, "What's the matter at home? What's the matter?"

Lin Xi's fingers were twisted together, not knowing whether to say it or not, Pei Jingyan put the DVD away, smiled at her, and said, "It's okay, just tell me, I won't tell him."

Lin Xi often saw the name of the person in front of him in Jiang Yunian's director's manual, and thought it was someone very important to him, so he went all out and said, "Director Jiang's mother passed away."

Pei Jingyan seemed to be hit by a blunt object, and he lost even the strength to stand. After being stunned for two seconds, he sat down firmly on the chair and said, "Mother Jiang..."

Lin Xi sighed deeply, and said: "Since Director Jiang's father passed away, his mother has been in poor spirits and has been living in a nursing home. Our Director Jiang visits her every week, but her spirit has become worse and worse in the past two years. Bad, committed suicide last week..."

It probably took Pei Jingyan a long time to fully accept all the information in Lin Xi's words. It turned out that so many things happened in the past six years. He was completely unaware. He sat down on the chair, Fu raised his head and looked at Lin Xi again: "Let me ask again, do you know when Jiang Yunian's father passed away?"

Lin Xi thought for a while and said, "It must have been several years, maybe five or six years? I have only been with Director Jiang for two years, but I have heard that his father seems to be a criminal. People were killed."

Pei Jingyan tried to take a deep breath, trying to stabilize her emotions.Seeing that Lin Xi was dressed in black with white flowers pinned to his chest, he tentatively asked, "Auntie's funeral is today?"

Lin Xi nodded, Pei Jingyan picked out a black suit from the cloakroom in the office, and said that he wanted to go with her, Lin Xi hesitated, always feeling that this was inappropriate, Pei Jingyan pressed the elevator button, and said to her: "It's okay, Director Jiang I'll explain it over there, you don't have to worry."

When he arrived at the cemetery, the ceremony was about to start. Jiang Yunian saw Pei Jingyan through the crowd, and was a little panicked for a moment. Pei Jingyan put his index finger to his lips and shook his head, signaling that he should not pay attention to him. Jiang Yunian took a deep breath and turned around. Go start the ceremony.

At the end of the ceremony, the sky suddenly started to rain. Most people went to shake hands with Jiang Yunian to express their condolences. Pei Jingyan stood in the rain and waited for him for a long time. After the last person said goodbye to him, he finally walked forward and talked to him. .

Jiang Yunian sat slumped in front of the tombstone, his heroic spirit had long since disappeared, and his expression looked exhausted as if he had aged ten years overnight. He turned his back to Pei Jingyan and asked him, "Did Lin Xi tell you?"

Seeing him like this, Pei Jingyan's eyes were filled with distress, and he choked up and said, "It's not important, the important thing is why you didn't tell me."

Jiang Yunian wiped his eyes with his hand, but couldn't find the right words to reply him for a while, after all he didn't have time to talk about what happened six years ago, he didn't know how to speak.

When Pei Jingyan saw the photo of his aunt on the tombstone, his eyes turned red instantly. He could still remember how kind Jiang's mother was to him when he was helping him with English tuition at Jiang Yunian's house. She almost regarded him as her own son. What was lacking in him His mother's love was almost completely recovered from Jiang's mother. He said, his voice was full of tears: "Why didn't you tell me, why didn't you tell me such an important thing, and your father had an accident six years ago, how could you be like this? To me, Jiang Yunian, do you treat me as an outsider from the beginning to the end?"

As soon as the mood came up, Pei Jingyan cried uncontrollably. He hated Jiang Yunian for not telling him the truth six years ago, and made him hate him for six years. He hated himself for not knowing, and made Jiang Yunian suffer for so long alone. wronged.

Seeing him crying like this, Jiang Yunian became anxious for a while, stood up and grabbed his hand, and said, "Don't cry, Peipei." He also took out a tissue from his pocket while he was crying. Gently rubbing the flushed face, Pei Jingyan cried like a porcelain doll, and he felt distressed just looking at it.

When Pei Jingyan's mood finally stabilized, he opened his arms and hugged him lightly. He said, "I was afraid that telling you would affect your going abroad. I'm sorry, Pei Pei, for keeping it from you for so long."

Pei Jingyan gasped, shrugged his shoulders, and said intermittently: "Then you shouldn't hide it from me. We should solve problems together instead of you alone."

But in fact, Jiang Yunian had figured it out six years ago. If he told Pei Jingyan about the family affairs, he would definitely stay with him. In the past two years, he saw that Pei Jingyan had paid too much for studying abroad, and he didn't want to be his stumbling block.

Jiang Yunian stroked his back with his hands, helping him to calm down bit by bit. He really didn't know what to say, so he kept apologizing to him: "I'm sorry, Pei Pei, I'm sorry."

Pei Jingyan couldn't hear it anymore. He separated from each other and looked up at him with tears on his eyelashes. He looked very pitiful and said, "I should say I'm sorry, but I still scolded you... ..." As he spoke, tears fell again. For a moment, he couldn't tell whether it was rain or tears on his face. Jiang Yunian wiped it for a long time and didn't know what he was wiping. Finally, Pei Jingyan sneezed violently. Only then did Yu Nian leave the cemetery with his arms around him.

After his mother left, Jiang Yunian cleaned up the house for a long time, and the old house was still vacant. Anyway, he is not too short of money now, staying there is like a symbol and sign, and it is a kind of comfort to be able to think of his mother once in a while. .

It's just that he was too haggard during this time. When Jiang Yunian saw himself in the mirror that day, he felt a little decadent. He ran to the bathroom and came out wearing a bathrobe. After a long time of fiddling in the kitchen, he finally brought out a bowl Sit on the sofa with instant noodles and fried eggs, and turn on the TV as the background sound of the meal.

When the doorbell rang, he thought that Lin Xi was coming to talk to him about work arrangements. After all, he had been on leave for more than half a month, and there was something wrong with the producer. He thought that he would go directly to the studio in two days. Thinking of Lin Xi coming directly to the door.

When he opened the door, he stood there in a daze. Pei Jingyan was standing at the door wearing a down jacket, holding two hot dogs in both hands. He quickly handed him one, then poked his head to look inside, and said, "You are not welcome." Shall I go in? It's cold outside."

Only then did Jiang Yunian hasten to invite the person into the room. Pei Jingyan saw the bowl of instant noodles on the coffee table and asked him, "Do you eat this at night?"

Jiang Yunian: "I also fried an egg."

Pei Jingyan sighed deeply, turned on the phone and prepared to order takeaway for him, Jiang Yunian reached out to hold his wrist, and said, "It's really unnecessary, I don't have much appetite either."

Pei Jingyan raised his chin, pointed to the hot dog in his other hand, and said, "Then eat the hot dog while it's hot."

Jiang Yunian: "Okay, okay." After eating, he sat on the sofa and asked Pei Jingyan what he was doing here. Pei Jingyan curled his lips and said, "Can't I come to you because I'm fine?"

Jiang Yunian was naturally very welcoming, but after the two of them talked in the cemetery last time, there was no further contact. Both of them were too busy to deal with their relationship issues.

Seeing his nervousness, Pei Jingyan took out the DVD from the pocket of his down jacket, handed it to him, and said, "I'm here to return your "Island"."

Jiang Yunian took the DVD and asked, "Have you finished watching it?"

Pei Jingyan shook his head, bit his lower lip and looked at him: "No, I wanted to come to your house to watch it with you."

Jiang Yunian's brain seemed to be powered up. In his cognition, this should be the meaning of an active invitation. He walked up to install the DVD, and the two of them sat on the sofa and continued watching from where they were last time.It's just that Pei Jingyan didn't stay far away from him this time, but stayed very close to him, less than one meter away.

Jiang Yunian could feel the people around him getting closer and closer. Suddenly, a scene of blood dripping in the bathtub appeared in the movie. Pei Jingyan subconsciously covered his eyes and leaned on his shoulder unconsciously. Jiang Yunian felt half of himself His shoulders froze, and it took several seconds before he slowly raised his hand and pulled him into his arms.

The heating was turned on at home, Pei Jingyan was still wearing a thick down jacket, his face was flushed like a red grape, he looked up at Jiang Yunian, Jiang Yunian was only wearing a bathrobe, the belt was not tied properly, the position of the collarbone Showing a lot of red, Pei Jingyan reached out and touched his collarbone, and asked him, "How are you doing recently?"

He could see the bruises in Jiang Yunian's eyes, and looked at him with clear but worried eyes. Jiang Yunian sighed and said, "You have to come out slowly."

Pei Jingyan burrowed into his arms and said, "I'm sorry, I've been too busy recently, so I didn't spend time with you. The company is acquiring recently, so I have no choice but to go."

Jiang Yunian touched his face and said: "I'm fine, Pei Pei is so good, I'm too happy to be happy."

Pei Jingyan sat up slowly, raised his face, and whispered, "Then can I kiss you?"

Before Jiang Yunian could react, Pei Jingyan moved up to stick his lips. His kissing skills were still as green as before. He was obviously the one who took the initiative, but in the end he was led away by Jiang Yunian. The robes were loosened a little, and the two were panting face to face. Pei Jingyan looked at him seriously, with sincere eyes, and said, "A Nian, I forgive you."

After speaking, he rubbed the tip of his nose against his, and said almost breathlessly: "You forgive me too, okay?"