shadow lover

The day after I left from Sen Miao, I went to the nursing home and took my mother out without notifying Mo Han. The room fee I had already paid was not refunded, so I took my mother out and rented a room to continue. Life.After I bought a new mobile phone, I changed all the contact and communication methods, including the chat software account, and my life returned to the original state after a short setback.

From being single to two people and then returning to the ranks of being single again, the feelings of the two kinds of being single are different. The former one will not have too many thoughts because they have not been in touch with tenderness, and the latter one will not have too much thought because they have tasted The taste in love will inevitably have the aftertaste of that indescribable taste.

I bought a movie ticket. It was very strange that I didn’t know what happened to me. I followed the young couple in front of me into the movie theater. I didn’t see where I was until I got to the ticket gate. When the service staff at the counter asked me what service I needed, I was a little stumped and asked for a movie ticket for the latest show, any location is fine.

Sitting alone in the cinema and watching some difficult movie plots, I remembered the first time Sen Miao took me to see a movie, the first time she took me out for dinner, and the first time she gave me a small gift, Think of her bright smile, think of her strings of crystal clear teardrops.

After the movie ended, I walked out of the passageway and went downstairs to find a noodle restaurant to have a simple bite. Today is the No. 17 day since I left you, Sen Miao. Have you ever thought of me? I miss you very much, sincerely.

Although the life of one person is a bit lonely and boring, it is still much simpler than the life of two people. There are no unnecessary emotional troubles, no need to consider each other's feelings, and even no need to work hard to maintain weak emotional problems.But even though there are many variables in the lives of two people, the men and women in this city still rush to the battlefield of love without hesitation. Why do they say they are afraid of trouble but their bodies do the opposite?I think maybe it’s because of the childishness that you can’t swallow. Every night, you ask yourself over and over again, why people who are not as good as me can find a sincere partner, but I have to be lonely forever and become what outsiders say Old woman, I am not convinced, absolutely not.

I didn't feel bad after falling out of love like in TV dramas, but I would toss and turn in the middle of the night without sleep, I would smoke pungent tobacco in the night, I would walk back and forth in the empty streets, I would Look around in the square where people come and go, and pay attention to their unfamiliar faces.

One day I went to the hospital after finishing work. I didn’t respond to the doctor’s analysis of the trend of the deterioration of the condition. I walked out of the hospital with the film and diagnosis report and threw them into the trash can. I lit a cigarette and walked away. , Walking and walking unconsciously, I took the bus to the station, got off the bus and walked south, it was natural to stop at the gate of the community.

She appeared in sight at seven o'clock in the evening and drove into the community at a constant speed. After getting off the car, she closed the door and went upstairs with a stack of documents in her arms and a bag in her right hand. After about 4 minutes, the lights at home came on, and she changed into pajamas and tied up her hair. Now the lights in the kitchen and the room are all turned off at eleven o'clock.

Good night, Sen Miao.

I stood in the night and said goodnight to that person from the bottom of my heart. I leaned on the tree trunk and slowly squatted on the ground for about 10 minutes, then turned around and left. After returning home, my mother made a fuss for a while and then calmed down. After wiping his body and changing into clean pajamas, he fell limply on the sofa.

What I didn't expect was that Mo Han actually went to the Public Security Bureau to report to the police. Because I changed all the previous contact information, I didn't hear Mo Han's calls and messages on the chat platform. After I took it to the police station, I met Mo Han who had rushed over after receiving the news.

"Where are you taking your aunt? Why didn't you answer my phone or reply to my message? Why did you just leave without leaving a word? Anyang, why are you so interested in you? You have no right to make decisions about your aunt alone. , did you hear that?"

After the case was closed, we walked out of the police station. After we got out, Mohan threw me into the car and asked me for my address. I kept silent and didn't speak.

"Anyang, I want to ask you something, address, where is auntie?"

"Mo Han, my mother has nothing to do with you. Even if you say An An, what does An An's mother have to do with you? You have no obligation to support me. Besides, you always hold on to my mother. You were originally like yourself It is said to take care of mother for An An, but later on. Mohan, don’t say that you have no other purpose, no other request, if you don’t have any changes, I can tell you where my mother is, and I can take you there, you can do it Is it just to take a look and not ask to take it away?"

"I have no purpose"

"Okay, then don't try your best to contact me in the future."

"Anyang"

"I'm not your An'an, I hope you can tell the difference at any time, Mohan, if you have a headache, insomnia and can't sleep, you can go to the doctor, there is only medicine to cure you."

"I went to find Fu Senmiao. According to what she said and what I found, I can confirm that she never loved you."

"Yeah, she doesn't love me, I know."

"You know she doesn't love you, and you have been with her for more than half a year. Auntie will leave it to me to take care of you and follow me."

"Mohan, I think you made a mistake. Are you negotiating a deal with me? Can emotional matters be traded? Fu Senmiao doesn't love me, but there is no doubt that I like her."

"You are nothing more than a spare tire to her. Do you know what your sweetheart told me? She said it was your own choice. It was you who insisted on being with her even though you clearly knew the inside story. Together, in the end you left because you couldn't bear it, it was your choice, Anyang, she pushed everything away, this is your sweetheart, she doesn't care about you at all."

"Yes, she doesn't care, but Han Mohan, do you care about me? Don't you also treat me as someone else? You say that now because you haven't approached me. Once there is no distance from my real face, you will You will think that I am not as good as you think."

"Why, why she can and I can't."

"Mohan, if you fell down twice because of the same thing, would you remember to remind yourself not to make the same mistake again, Mohan, you all have your pains, unspeakable wounds that cannot heal, is it because of yourself? If you can't control your grief, you will involve others. The one you choose is not the lucky one. Mo Han, I'm sorry, I can't promise you, and you don't care about my mother in the future. I believe there must be someone around you who likes you People who are willing to accompany you through the trough, look at the people around you more, don't waste time in boring places, it won't help you, and I'm not the best person to take you out of that memory ,Feel sorry."

When Mo Han left, she said she should go and see her An An. Before I opened the door and got off the car, I saw Mo Han’s tears in the perspective mirror. Mohan never came to see me, she would occasionally call to ask about my mother's situation, and occasionally ask about my work and life.

The summer of this year was quietly spent in my busy life, and the lingering emotions were covered by the tight life. Unfortunately, my mother died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage at the end of the summer, and I also dealt with my mother's aftermath. Lying alone on the operating table for resection surgery.

Senmiao, I've been to the small shop you opened before. That's the style that Sister Feng likes, right?

Sen Miao, why did you suddenly think that you are going to fall in love? Don't test them again! I can't stand you thinking about others so unscrupulously every day.

Sen Miao, I read a book recently, which says: There are only two kinds of emotions in this world that can be called romantic: one is called mutual affection, and the other is called mutual forgetfulness: what we have to do It is to spend time with the person you love the most, and to look at the rivers and lakes with the person you love the second time.

Senmiao, I am Anyang, An from Ping An, Yang from Chaoyang.