Every time I lose my memory, I forget who my husband is

Ran Mu's body is a sea monster, and its growth rate is inherently different from that of humans.Ordinary people need a full 18 years to grow from a baby to an adult, but Ran Mu only needs 6 years.

When he was bought home by Shen Fenggu, he was just a baby dolphin just over a month old. He didn't understand anything and wanted to eat everything.

Before going ashore, Ran Mu only knew how to chase and bite other sea monsters when he was angry, and follow his dolphin father obediently when he was not angry.

But the adult gray dolphin hardly communicated with him, nor gave him food, and the little dolphin just ate whatever it caught every day.

He swallowed seaweed, ate shell coral, and even surreptitiously tried pebbles.

The sea monster eats an unusually large amount. Although eating in such a disorderly manner will not harm his body, it also engraves the shadow of hunger in his subconscious mind. reason.

Ran Mu's first transformation was the appearance of a three-year-old human child. In just three years, his height jumped to 1.6 meters, turning into the appearance of a human teenager. In the next three years, his body stretched out, his bones developed, and his arms and legs became slender. Those with long legs and long hands and feet are also 1.8 meters, and the whole person looks too thin, giving people the illusion of being weak and deceitful.

Because he has been well nourished by Shen Fenggu for a long time, his youthful complexion is rosy and his skin is as white as fat, and his whole person is clean and beautiful from the inside out. Just standing there quietly can make people feel him and everyone else. The difference, the incompatible sense of mystery and the inherent ignorance and innocence.

Such a young man is undoubtedly attractive. He has the capital to be proud, but he has no sense of pride, and he doesn't know how attractive he is to other people.

That's what Shen Fenggu said, "I didn't remember what should be remembered".

It was late at night, and only a warm yellow bedside lamp was still on in the room.

Shen Fenggu lowered his eyes and stared at Ran Mu who was sleeping in his arms. He raised his hand and pinned the young man's black hair sticking to his cheeks behind his ears. His rough fingertips slowly stroked the rosy cheeks under his palm, and moved closer to him every one or two minutes. Go, gently kiss the corner of the young man's eyes.

Such silent staring and monotonous repetitive movements may be boring to other people, but the man seems to never tire of trying, as if every kiss has a new meaning and a completely different meaning.

But after careful calculation, it seems that since the year Ran Mu became an adult, Shen Fenggu has been used to this every night. There are too many deep thoughts hidden behind those tender kisses.It seems that only when Ran Mu is asleep, can he look at the other person so calmly, and think about everything rationally and thoroughly.

The man who was sleeping soundly in his arms suddenly opened his mouth to murmur a few words, then rubbed deeper into the man's arms, his breathing was long and gentle, and he fell into a deep sleep.

It took Shen Fenggu a while before he put his hands on the young man's back, embraced him, and whispered a word like a whisper.

"Why would Yangyang want to coax himself to sleep?"

Ran Mu slept with Shen Fenggu since he was a child. Sometimes Shen Fenggu was too busy with work or needed to socialize, and he would not get home until one or two o'clock in the morning. At that time, the little Ran Mu was usually already asleep.

So the man never thought that Ran Mu would actually coax himself to sleep like this.

In fact, he had seen it once before. Once when Ran Mu was taking a nap, Shen Fenggu went to the company on a temporary basis, and the meeting ended early. When he came back, he bumped into the little Ran Mu who was only as high as his knees lying on the recliner. Patting his stomach with a small fan and singing songs, the child was very angry.

Of course, Shen Fenggu thought that Ran Mu was just imitating when he was bored. Ran Mu likes to watch TV dramas, and once imitated a straw hat boy wearing a straw hat, so it's not surprising to imitate his big son and small father once in a while, and learn how to put the child to sleep.

Surprisingly, however, the youth has maintained this habit until now.The first time it can be regarded as an imitation, but the second time it can't.

Shen Fenggu carefully hugged the man a little tighter, but controlled not to use too much strength. He pressed against Ran Mu's forehead, lowered his eyes, as if whispering or asking, and asked the same sentence in a low voice.

"What exactly does Yang Yang want..."

Ran Mu didn't lack for anything, and Shen Fenggu had been with him for so long that he was inseparable. But today's accidental discovery made the man realize another thing.

Ran Mu clearly could seek his protection, but stubbornly insisted on coaxing himself to sleep. There must be something else that he couldn't let go of.And this is what Shen Fenggu failed to notice.

Originally, Shen Fenggu thought that it was only because he didn't agree to let Ran Mu live broadcast the dolphins eating fish today, but after careful thought, he knew that was not the case.

The room was silent, and the occasional low-pitched inquiries finally fell silent until dawn.

***

After Ran Mu woke up the next day, he changed his medicine again. The blisters on his stomach had scabbed over, and it looked like he could continue filming in two days.

There was no need to go to the film crew, and Shen Fenggu had to go to work again, so Ran Mu wanted to go out and do an outdoor live broadcast.

Unexpectedly, he said a few words with Shen Fenggu, and without knowing what happened, he was carried into the car by the man in a daze, and turned into going to the company together.

"Isn't everything in the company kept secret? What if the live broadcast leaks out?" Ran Mu looked at the unfamiliar street scene outside the window for a while, then turned his head to look at the man, frowned and said, "I don't think this is good."

"What's wrong?" Shen Fenggu freed his hand to take a bag of dried mangoes and put them on Ran Mu's lap, and explained in a slow voice: "Yangyang went to the company, so it's fine not to show the scenes of employees working, as long as the work content is not leaked, it's fine thing."

"Then keep it silent and live broadcast!" Ran Mu was immediately bribed by the dried mango, nodded with a smile on his face, looked at Shen Fenggu while chewing the dried mango, and asked after a while:

"Why did you bring Yangyang to the company? You used to let Yangyang play at home."

"It's too boring to be at home all the time." Shen Fenggu explained briefly, then laughed hoarsely, and said, "If I leave you at home, take a nap and coax myself to sleep, wouldn't it be embarrassing for me?"

Ran Mu blinked in surprise as soon as he heard it, and couldn't understand, so he could only ask in a low voice, "Why is this shameless?"

"Shouldn't I put Yangyang to sleep?" Shen Fenggu asked back in a low voice, and then said: "Yangyang doesn't remember how I put you to sleep when you were young, does it?"

"...Well." Ran Mu nodded hesitantly, and said a little embarrassedly: "Yangyang didn't remember everything, but I know you slept with me."

"Then I took a fan to pat my stomach last night, did Yang Yang come up with it? What about that song?" Shen Feng asked calmly.

"I just couldn't sleep and felt a little distressed. My instinct told me to find a fan." When Ran Mu said this, his face was also a little dazed, "I remember you sang that song to me. But at that time You don't seem to have this voice."

"Mmm." Shen Fenggu was concerned in his heart, and explained in a comforting manner:

"When Yangyang was three years old, it happened to be summer. You hated the hot weather and hated the air conditioner. If you couldn't sleep well at night, you would lose your temper. At that time, I would use a fan to fan you every night. Although you didn't remember, But the subconscious mind still knows a little bit.”

"So it's like this..." Ran Mu's cheeks turned red when he heard it, and he turned his head embarrassingly, "I thought it was what Doctor Gu said. My behavior has degenerated, like a child. It's okay." It was you who influenced it, otherwise you would be too stupid..."

As the young man spoke, he raised his hand to cover his face to hide himself, and the tips of his ears turned red.

A smile spread across Shen Fenggu's dark eyes, but the doubts in his heart did not ease.

Ran Mu felt embarrassing to do that rationally, but he still did it unconsciously in action, but this was different from the memory effect that Dr. Gu said, because he didn't have that part of memory, and he was just doing it out of instinct, so the problem Still exist.

"Yangyang, why didn't you go to find me?" After a moment of silence, Shen Fenggu still chose to let go and asked, "Can't sleep, you know you can sleep well if you just find me, but you didn't, can you tell me? "

Ran Mu pursed his lips, and said angrily, "We had a fight last night... No, it was a conflict. You don't let dolphins eat fish, so I won't look for you."

"Lie." Shen Fenggu raised his hand and pinched Ran Mu's cheek, his eyes darkened, and he said harshly, "You weren't really angry yesterday, but later I went to find Yang Yang, did you lose your temper?" ?”

Ran Mu was exposed, so he could only droop his head, and said softly: "Maybe Yangyang was confused at that time, and didn't think of looking for you."

"Did you not think of it, or did you think about it but didn't look for it for other reasons?" Shen Fenggu frowned and asked softly.

Ran Mu didn't know how to answer, so he shook his head pitifully, and said, "I don't know about Yangyang, and it's useless if you ask me. Sea monsters like to be in a daze sometimes, and they don't know why they are in a daze."

Admittedly, many of the sea monsters' behaviors often don't make any sense.They have a long lifespan, but they can do very few things. Some sea monsters can even watch the scenery for a day without moving. Naturally, Ran Mu rarely thinks about what he does for something.

Seeing that he was at a loss, Shen Fenggu pulled the car aside, took the young man's hand again, kissed the back of his hand comfortingly, raised his eyes to meet Ran Mu's, and asked in a hoarse voice: "When I'm not at home, how can I raise my hand?" Do you feel lonely?"

"Yes." Ran Mu became shy again after being kissed, the blank expression on his face faded, he bent his eyes and smiled, and said: "He Miao can't change into a human to play with me, Yang Yang will definitely feel lonely, but sea monsters That’s all there is to it, nothing.”

"But human children are born with the right to ask for the company of their parents, and adults among humans also have the right to ask for the company of their lover. Does Yang Yang know?"

Shen Fenggu followed the guidance, and the low and hoarse voice seemed to be bewitching, but also convincing, and said word by word: "I feel lonely, you can find me if you support me, right?"

"Yes..." Ran Mu nodded involuntarily, then came back to his senses, shook his head suspiciously, changed his words, and said:

"It's not like that. All sea monsters feel lonely, but sea monsters are born in the same sea. As long as they open their mouths, all sea monsters in the sea can hear them, but we will not go to each other.

The elder said that when many sea monsters die, they go to faraway places by themselves and will not say goodbye to us. No one knows where they are buried. "

When the young man said this, his expression was taken for granted. It was obvious that he was used to everything described in the words.

"Why do you know you are lonely, but don't look for your kind?" Shen Fenggu put away his gentle and coaxing look, and asked calmly, "Didn't He Miao come all the way here to find you?"

"Yangyang doesn't know." Ran Mu tilted his head in doubt, and said, "He Miao is indeed different from other sea monsters, so he is Yangyang's friend."

"But Yangyang has learned the habit of sea monsters, endures loneliness, and doesn't want to look for me, right?" Shen Fenggu's voice is low, neither happy nor angry, just stating the facts.

Ran Mu was stunned when he heard the sound, he was at a loss with his beautiful peach blossom eyes.

"You can't sleep, you put yourself to sleep, but you don't look for me. You miss the sea monsters, and want to pick them up, the first time you don't ask me to discuss it, but think about it yourself." When Shen Fenggu was calm , Talking is always directed at the root.

"Yangyang, I don't think it's because you don't trust me, or you don't have feelings for me, but you don't have that consciousness."

Ran Mu held the man's hand instead, frowned and thought about it carefully. After a while, he pursed his lips, looked at Shen Fenggu cautiously, and tentatively said: "But isn't this normal? Sleeping alone, not looking for you Doing troublesome things, this is a good boy... raised and grown up, so this is a good lover, isn't it?"

There is bright doubt in the young man's eyes.

Shen Fenggu suddenly thought of a certain possibility, his eyes dimmed for a moment, and suddenly he leaned over to embrace him, tightened his arms, and put him tightly into his arms.

Ran Mu didn't know why he was sad, so he let him hug him obediently, and even raised his hand to imitate Shen Fenggu's usual way of comforting him, patting the man's strong back one by one, and said earnestly:

"Yangyang didn't depend on you, and he didn't really get angry. Yangyang just did what he should do."

As if he felt that his words were not convincing enough, he said softly and slowly:

"I used to ask my father dolphin to accompany me to catch fish when I was angry, but my father refused to let me swim with him. Later, when I wanted him to take me with me, he just denied me and went to other places without telling Yangyang. The sea is gone.

Yang Yang didn't understand at first.Then the blue whale said that the more children ask for, the less they will get. "

Ran Mu raised his other hand, tried to hug Shen Fenggu's waist, and explained with a bent eyebrow:

"I think what the blue whale said is right. You see, Yang Yang didn't ask you for toys, so you bought me a lot of them. Yang Yang didn't let you sleep with me, but instead you didn't work overtime and came to accompany Yang Yang. It's not very Are you smart?"

— isn’t it smart?

--clever.smart.

However, how many unbearable indifferences must be experienced, and how many frustrated tears must be swallowed, before you think of expressing your appeal tactfully in this... way of retreating into advance?

When did it become a mistake to crave care and love?Need children to get used to forbearance, suppress desire, and wait quietly for the "reward" that may not come?

If Shen Fenggu didn't have the awareness to treat and love Ran Mu kindly, if Shen Fenggu didn't notice Ran Mu's passivity, would his most cherished little dolphin have to wait quietly like this forever?

Because I feel that my desire to speak out will not be satisfied, and because I feel that others have no obligation to treat me well, I simply ignore my real needs.

The man who hugged him didn't speak for a long time, Ran Mu felt uneasy, so he had to whisper reluctantly:

"If you think that raising and raising is wrong, I won't be like that in the future. Although I really think what the blue whale said is right..."

Shen Fenggu closed his eyes slowly, and after a long time, his Adam's apple moved slightly, opened his eyes, and coaxed in a hoarse voice: "The starting point of Yangyang is not wrong, you just want to be cared for, it's normal."

"Yeah." Ran Mu nodded happily, obviously glad that Shen Fenggu understood what he said.

However, the next moment, the man said again: "But I don't think what the blue whale said is correct."

Shen Fenggu let go of the person in his arms, raised his hand to hold the delicate and gentle face of the young man, touched his cheek with his fingertips, moved closer to stare at the stunned Ran Mu, and said in a deep voice:

"Whether it's a human or a sea monster, when you treat someone close to you, you have demands, and you want to be hugged, accompanied, cared for, and protected. It's right to express these wishes normally."

Ran Mu frowned when he heard the words, and wanted to refute anxiously, but the moment he opened his mouth, Shen Fenggu approached and kissed his lips, blocking his unspoken words.

The man pressed him down and kissed him for a while, until Ran Mu became a little confused, then let him go, continued to press his forehead against him, and said in a low voice:

"I know that when Yang Yang heard the words just now, he would say, you are not like this. You want your father's protection, but what you get is rejection and indifference. I know this is hard to accept, but Does your father represent everyone?"

Shen Fenggu lightly kissed the young man's eyes comfortingly, hooked his lips, and said:

"Am I the same as him? Yangyang feels that because you are not self-willed, you didn't tell me directly what you want, so you got everything, but it's not.

Everything I support, I love you, never because of how obedient you are, I don't care whether you are obedient or willful, even if you make trouble every day, aren't you still Ran Mu? "

"Love and giving don't need a reason. They are often unconditional. You need to compromise, you need to endure loneliness and helplessness, and the favor you get by erasing your nature is not worth it at all."

"I will not give you such superficial favors."

"Do you think the old man is the same as your father? What about He Miao? Nourishment, others love you and treat you well. It's not something you can get by being a good boy, but you deserve it."

"But Dad is not like that." Ran Mu was stunned for a long time, and finally said in a low voice and aggrieved, "If what you said is right, there are many people who like me without being sensible, so why is the dolphin father Isn't it?"

As the young man spoke, the corners of his eyes turned red.

For the first time, he didn't evade the question about his father, but instead questioned the sea monster that had already left.

"Why is raising up disobedient, you will like raising and be good to me, but the dolphin father is not? You said that it is natural for parents to raise well, but the dolphin father just doesn't want me!"

"The blue whale told me that Daddy Dolphin doesn't like me because I was not obedient. But now you tell me that you will like me even if I am disobedient. Then..."

Ran Mu paused, lowered his eyes, and murmured:

"There is no reason to raise. In the past, I could comfort myself that I would not be liked by my parents because I did not do well. As long as I work hard to do well, if one day they come back, they will definitely like me.

But now, you tell me that there is no reason why they don't like me, even if I do well, it's useless..."

After the young man finished speaking word by word, he closed his eyes.

Shen Fenggu finally straightened up, and turned to pull Ran Mu into his arms again.

Ran Mu stretched out his arms and hugged the man's neck tightly, buried his face, his back was trembling with such force.

He didn't cry, his expression was calm, and his tone was as soft as ever. He just pressed against the man's neck and whispered:

"Nursing is not sad. Don't be sad either."

"Okay. It's not sad to raise up, and I'm not sad either." Shen Fenggu repeated, and patted Ran Mu's back comfortingly.

Ran Mu slowly closed his eyes, and his body stuck to the man's arms as if he was exhausted.

It's not that he doesn't doubt what Blue Whale said, it's just that he has persisted for so many years, and he always thinks about it.Even though he has grown up and knows the truth of the matter is not as simple as what the blue whale said, he is still unwilling to give himself a chance to face the truth.

If he admitted the fact that his father didn't want him as an adult, how would he deal with himself when he was young?Who can guarantee that he won't turn back into a child next time he loses his memory?What will he do then?

But life is like this sometimes, there are always some hurdles to be overcome by oneself, and there are always some wounds that need to be let go of the hands covering them, and only by being exposed to the light of the sky can they be healed.

Ran Mu didn't have the consciousness to go out, but Shen Fenggu saw his confusion.

"Nurture next time... If it's still like this, you can just bite me and don't be a bad person." Ran Mu suddenly said in a soft voice, laughing out two dimples, and said: "This time, raising is very difficult." Smart, I know that you are doing it for my own good. But next time, if Yang Yang turns back to being a child, I may only blame you for framing my father. "

Shen Fenggu was stunned, and said in a hoarse voice: "You are a fool."

"I'm not stupid. I'll understand as soon as you explain it. I'm so sensible, why don't you hurry up and praise me?" Ran Mu let go of his arms as he spoke, struggled to get out of the other party's arms, and stared angrily. Seriously, he said, "I didn't even make a fuss this time."

"I'd rather lose my temper for a while." Shen Feng pinched Ran Mu's face calmly, but with much less strength than usual.

The narrow and dark eyes were clearly peaceful, but it made people feel sad and at ease for no reason.

There is some distress and love, once it reaches the extreme, there will be no waves.

Ran Mu tilted his head quietly and looked at the man for a while, and finally rushed over and hugged the other man's neck, kissed Shen Fenggu's chin, then drooped his brows and eyes, and said aggrievedly:

"You don't feel sorry for Yangyang anymore. Yangyang is going to sue and ask the elders to come to the villa and squeeze your room to pieces! By then the police will come and they will find that there are many sea monsters here, and you will be arrested..."

As soon as the words fell, Shen Fenggu frowned, untied the seat belt, grabbed the person who wanted to escape into his arms, hugged him on his lap, pressed his lips, and kissed Ran Mu until his hands and feet became weak with tears in his eyes, and escaped. He buried himself in his bosom as if to hide himself, begged him pitifully for mercy, and then sighed silently, wrapping his arms around him tenderly.

"Are you still going to the company?"

"Go...you can't bully Yangyang!"

"Are you still wronging yourself in the future?"

"...Don't be wronged, I will be a villain after being raised, and I am the only one who is angry with others."

"Silly."

"Bite you to death!"