my love letter is always guilty

This summer vacation was too dull, Tian Dong felt like he was in a cloudy dream, even if his father called and scolded him, he didn't feel it anymore.He stepped into the realm of decadence, which is an extreme.

Parents are disappointed.

450 points is indeed an embarrassing score. Unfortunately, this number is the highest in Tian Dong's history, so the class teacher called, and even the vice principal who taught him politics called every day...

The mother relayed their words, the same words, and went back and read them...

Repeat!Why do you still have to suffer that kind of life? Going back to that school will only make it worse.

Tian Dong stubbornly filled out his volunteer application, chose a tasteless university, and split up his life, hoping to start all over again.

But such a choice led to a result that his father gave up on him, family and marriage.

On the day Tian Dong went to school in Wubei City, his parents went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a divorce.

"Well, I'm a person without luck after all." That's how he defines himself.

————————————————————————————————————————

2009.10. At the beginning of October, Beiwu Tianli Science and Technology College.

Chen Ming: "I'll go, I only got 67 points, but it's okay, I passed."

Cai Xiaofeng: "I'm 62, so fucking hot."

Chen Ming: "What's the matter? Our school's exams are just a formality. It doesn't matter if you fail."

"Haha, there should be hanging in our dormitory..." Cai Xiaofeng said, looking up at the upper bunk behind him with a pointed expression.

Chen Ming nodded in agreement: "I don't know what he's doing all day, except for the first day of school, I haven't seen him in class."

"Hey, just being decadent all day long." Cai Xiaofeng whispered in his ear, "I saw him crying in the middle of the night."

"Really?" Chen Ming opened his mouth, "Why don't I know."

"Didn't you sleep on the lower bunk, and he was crying silently, with his eyes open, tears streaming down." In fact, Cai Xiaofeng was a little sympathetic: "I don't know what happened, the big man cried so sadly, this buddy There is a story!"

Chen Ming: "No way, he is usually very jovial and talks enthusiastically."

Cai Xiaofeng shook his head boredly: "I don't know what he's been through, what he's thinking, whether he's going to class, whether he has any thoughts about the future... In other words, don't talk about this matter to the outside world, it will embarrass our dormitory. "

"Well, I understand this, family ugliness should not be publicized!" Chen Ming agreed.

Ugly!Cai Xiaofeng rolled his eyes.

Chen Ming: "But girls like his style."

Cai Xiaofeng: "Why?"

Chen Ming: "The temperament is mysterious, stylish, and ruthless! The face is also top-notch, and girls love this style."

.........

Tian Dong fell into a drowsy sleep, feeling drowsy, with symptoms of ghosts pressing on the bed. When he woke up, he heard the discussion between his roommates Chen Ming and Cai Xiaofeng.

Although this kind of argument is often heard, after a long time, someone brought it up in person and asked him why he didn't attend class, and he always replied indifferently, "Because I don't want to attend, because I want to play games..."

He was on the upper bunk, hung a white mosquito net, opened the mosquito net, and stretched out a mess of hair.

Chen Ming was a little embarrassed, but he also felt that it was nothing, so he changed the subject and asked, "Tian Dong, how many points did you get in the test?"

Not long after the start of the school year, the school organized the second-level English test. Tian Dong didn't remember how much level he had left. Together with the summer vacation, he almost forgot all the things in those books and threw them away.So I don't care about the test scores, and it doesn't matter if I fail or fail.

"91." He reported the number, rolled the quilt into a ball, and slowly climbed out of bed.

As soon as he got to the ground, Cai Xiaofeng looked at Tian Dong with a stunned face, with a slightly embarrassed expression on his face.

"I'll go, how did you do it? 91 points!" Chen Ming asked curiously.

Cai Xiaofeng: "How much did you score in English in the college entrance examination?"

Tian Dong rubbed his hair, thought for a while, and only glanced at the college entrance examination report card: "... 0 points."

"!!!!!!" The two people were in a mess in the wind, and they looked at each other in surprise.

"I handed in a blank paper!" Tian Dong said the reason.

After that, the two of them studied it for a long time, amazed for a while, and regretted for a while.

From his roommate's surprise, Tian Dong knew that Level 100 English is a total score of 150, not [-] as he mistakenly thought.

He thought he had changed, well, some things were still deeply ingrained, when he was sleeping listening to English tapes, dreaming about lines from [Lord of the Rings], writing more than a dozen notebooks with words, working hard day and night, just to write a perfect letter for that boy. love letter.

He said he likes love letters in English, so Tian Dong did it!

Of course, I found out later that the English love letter I wrote to my boyfriend became a sharp sword for him to pursue a girl. Even a boy who is originally gay can't stand the temptation of the Atlantic flavor, and he does not hesitate to use any feasible strategy.

Hey……

That Bai Fumei (Zhou Sisi) read his love letter, not only did not feel disgusted, but fell in love with her, and returned the love letter.

There is a saying that Tian Dong remembers deeply: "firstine your hand, then forever can begin, i apply to get into your life."

There is also the sentence: "Youaremysoulmate..."

That handwriting is really beautiful...

The most dumbfounding thing is that the person who appreciates him the most is his love rival!

Thinking back on it like this, it was me who was disgusting.

Unfortunately, Tian Dong's sexual orientation was exposed by Zhou Sisi at school, and it became a school-wide scandal overnight.

Fortunately, after graduating and going to university after a summer vacation, he can avoid the land of right and wrong.

It’s just that from the beginning of school to the present, I can’t sleep at night, Tian Dong often goes out to the Internet cafe outside, and now I do things that I have never done before, all night, drinking, smoking, because he is not used to the dry taste, he does not smoke much , not yet addictive.

After his parents divorced, his father's living expenses became more and more stingy, and he needed to pay for the Internet fee, so Tian Dong often slept through the noon meal, and at night, he could find a food stall at the back of the school to deal with it.

At school, Tian Dong tried not to get to know his classmates as much as possible, and even the roommates in the same dormitory rarely communicated with each other. Some curiosity and remarks, these Tian Dong ignored.

But today, a gaze cast on Tian Dong seemed to freeze, he raised his head, half of the noodles were still on his mouth, almost choking.

The person in front of him turned out to be Dong Hai!

Seen from a close distance, Dong Hai is more mature and taller than what he occasionally saw in high school, and his head almost touched the umbrella supported by the shop owner.

Another black shirt.

He always wears black clothes, even when playing basketball. It is undeniable that he is very eye-catching when he is dressed like this.

Tian Dong accompanied Gu Qin, and was almost tired of seeing his handsome appearance, which can be described in four words-pretentious.

In my impression, Dong Hai's grades are good, he was on the school list, how could he appear in front of him?Anyway, Tian Dong didn't think he would study here!

Forget it, thinking of Gu Qin and Huang Lihua crying, decided to pretend they didn't know each other and continue eating noodles.

But Dong Hai sat down in front of him and handed him a clean tissue: "Didn't you eat lunch?"

Tian Dong looked around to make sure that he was really talking to him, and he didn't intend to accept his tissue, so he asked directly, "What's the matter?"

"You don't seem to want to see me?" Dong Hai smiled slightly, and put the tissue beside his bowl: "How should I say, are we also considered alumni? And I'm Gu Qin's friend."

"Bah!" Tian Dong spat out the noodles in his mouth, and wiped his mouth with a roll of paper beside him.

In fact, Tian Dong doesn't care about Dong Hai's treatment of Gu Qin. Gu Qin has his own set of healing methods. He just hates this kind of inexplicable acquaintance.

After paying the bill, Tian Dong went back to the dormitory, leaving behind Dong Hai, who had a face of unpopularity, and had to go back to his school after a while.

I didn't have a good impression of the meeting that day, and within a week, Tian Dong also forgot everything.

When he went to university, he followed the trend of renting a house outside, but Tian Dong chose to stick to the dormitory and guard his own narrow world.

A new school, everything is new, no one knows his past, let alone his orientation, this is very good, he can be curled up in the dark, silent in solitude, exiled at will.

There are circles, bars, and websites dedicated to people like them... Tian Dong chatted a few times through the platform, and then deleted them all.

What can't be forgotten, will never be forgotten, not to mention that those people have only one purpose - to go to bed.

He is tired, tired of the little bit of superfluous emotion brought about by physical intercourse. It is undeniable that that thing can eliminate loneliness, but it is short-lived, and the sense of emptiness afterward is stronger, not like drug addiction, but more Toxicity, and only toxicity remains.

The school playground is being extensively repaired, and the sound of machines outside the dormitory is rolling over. When I sleep during the day, I will be woken up by those noises, and I can’t sleep all the time.

I don't know what time it is, what class I have today.

Lazily, Tian Dong went to the grass outside the teaching building. The place was quiet, and there were some pretentious boys playing the guitar there.

"You are always alone, like a wandering spirit."

This is what my roommate Chen Ming said, other than that, I didn't comment too much.

Open the phone address book, there are really not many contacts, every month's free text messages are left in it, waiting to be refreshed, and the refresh is still the same number.

Someone asked him: "Gu Qin is so good with you, why does it feel like you haven't seen each other for a long time? Isn't she your girlfriend?"

It's been a long time since I met Gu Qin. She still studied music and education, but she stopped singing bel canto and changed her major to piano.

As for the term girlfriend, it was defined by his roommate blindly. Tian Dong didn't explain anything. Gu Qin got close to him, but instead dismissed those girls who wanted to catch up with the climax of love to pursue him. He didn't know how to deal with the relationship with girls.

But Gu Qin still has a task for Tian Dong to help her keep an eye on Dong Hai.

He doesn't do that.

First, he is not free; second, they are friends, and Tian Dong doesn't like to turn friendship into espionage.

Third, Gu Qin reunited with that boy named Duan Feiyu, so why stare at Dong Hai.

Tian Dong felt that he seemed to have changed, and he didn't want to follow Gu Qin's plot anymore.

He is also getting less and less taught. Gu Qin taught him that the best way to heal a broken relationship is to quickly find another one. The next one must be more handsome, more attractive, and richer.

In the past, Tian Dong felt that Gu Qin was infatuated. She never cared whether a boy was rich or not, as long as he was handsome. She often saw her posting those handsome guys upside down, and the gifts she gave were all valuable.

Seeing that she was short of money, Tian Donghui tore down his own city wall to fill the hole for her.

Will he ever be shortchanged?

Yes, it's just that he doesn't know how to let others understand his financial situation. It's not okay to just say it. It seems that he has never been short.

So, he feels that he has changed, and now, he can ignore it and become indifferent.

Friendship does not need a 365-day long-distance battle, but it is strange that the friendship of more than ten years is not very strong. Tian Dong thinks that this is the same as cooking soup. , Boil it dry!

Until Sun Fang's appearance gave Tian Dong a new feeling!

The classmates in high school, they are not close friends, it can be said that they have almost no communication.

Sun Fang is recognized as the beauty of the iceberg, and everyone said that she was cold and emotionless, and it was true that she had never been close to anyone in high school.

You can't judge by your senses. Some people's feelings will only be buried in the depths. This kind of people live in groups. If you are true, she is true, and if you are false, she is more false than you.

Sun Fang's school is next door to Tiandong School, in the same district, about four miles away, a few bus stops away.

The university she attended is very famous, Wubei University, 211 College.

By the way, Dong Hai is also in that school.

So he would appear in front of Tian Dong that day.

This world is small, Sun Fang and Dong Hai are in the same class.

He came into contact with Sun Fang because Tian Dong got drunk one day.

In the middle of the night, on the way back to the dormitory, he dialed the wrong number. The difference between Sun Fang's number and that of his roommate Cai Xiaofeng was only one digit.

Tian Dong didn't know what he said on the phone, he was drunk and crazy.

Ten minutes later, Sun Fang took a taxi to find him and sent him back to the dormitory. It was almost eleven o'clock at night.

In the morning, Sun Fang made some porridge and side dishes for Tian Dong. The thick white porridge was decorated with green vegetable leaves. Swallowing it down her throat filled her body with warmth.

At that moment, Tian Dong felt a little emotional, always thinking that he got too little.

Walking on the one-way street, he is used to the cold, and always releases his heat, thinking that his heat is almost exhausted, and at the end of the day, he will survive the desperate situation and reap this unexpected warmth.

Sun Fang dragged him to the stool, and cursed a lot.

"You let me down so much. You actually made yourself like this. At the beginning, you said that I was a brain-dead solver. Are you a brain-dead now? You're just a stinky rock."

"Teacher Peng always asks me what you are doing, and I also want to know what you are doing. In the past, you were not afraid of winning or losing in everything you did. Teacher Peng also regarded you as a magic weapon in his hands. Now, how about you?" How about a sense of pride?"

"That's right, I envy you for taking it easy, but I look down on you even more now, you're so devastated, who wants to sympathize with you? No one owes you..."

……

Tian Dong smiled, he liked to listen to the scolding, it seemed that some good times were suddenly recalled, and he lived in the good old days before the fall.

On that day, Tian Dong's heart opened half a door to Sun Fang.

Of course, he was not woken up by the scolding, he was too stubborn, and always felt that it was not something that could be solved with a few words, but he just felt lucky to find a girl he could make friends with.

the days after.

Tian Dong and Sun Fang got closer, but not sticky. This girl doesn't indulge in activities like shopping, and she doesn't like to gossip. She talks about serious things. She cares about the subject of study and how many credits she can get. Similar to high school, strict and cold queen.

Tian Dong often thought, why a girl like her, beautiful and outstanding, doesn't have a boyfriend and never talks about men and women. She and Gu Qin are simply two extremes.

Sun Fang's school reminds people of a noble ivory palace. It has everything and many people. The students here give people a high-spirited atmosphere, which contrasts with my school like a prison.

Tian Dong came more and more often, because Sun Fang never ignored him, stayed by his side, took him around the campus, looked at the green lake, and talked about study subjects.It didn't sound tiring or very interesting, but Tian Dong deeply felt that she was talking to him with all her heart, which relieved his constant loneliness.

Sun Fang's classmate mistakenly thought Tian Dong was her boyfriend, but Tian Dong didn't explain, Sun Fang was an insider about his affairs, and all her former high school classmates were insiders. He and girls would only have friendship, so Sun Fang must be clearly.

I went to class with her, not because I wanted to miss the 211 University class, but because Sun Fang had some scruples, fearing that he would drink again.

Therefore, Tian Dong often saw Dong Hai, who was in the same class as Sun Fang, sitting nearby, only nearby.

He was still all in black.

Sometimes, Tian Dong felt that his eyes were fixed on him, but when he turned around, he didn't find anything.

In college as in high school, Dong Hai was always surrounded by admirers.

But Tian Dong still felt that he was putting on airs, which was the label impression he left on him.

He made himself too eye-catching, well, Tian Dong admits that he looks like stars, with handsome sword eyebrows... what else is there to say, anyway, he is handsome...

It's just that Tian Dong avoids this kind of people, the type he likes, because he has been fooled.

Later, Dong Hai took the initiative to talk to him and tried his best to display his seemingly indistinct sense of humor. Tian Dong also tried his best to have fun, often appearing embarrassed.

Dong Hai was an insider. Everyone in that high school was an insider. They knew his true face and his shameful sexual orientation.

So Tian Dong can't decide whether Dong Hai will mock him!He is on guard...

"Do you think it's better for me to treat you, or you to treat me?" This was the first time Dong Hai took the initiative to have dinner with him.

"Invite me and Sun Fang!" Tian Dong replied.

Dong Hai didn't object, so the dinners of the three of them were often staged, and it became a habit after a long time.

Of course, Sun Fang's classmates said that Dong Hai was a light bulb.

They liked to joke, and Tian Dong also said cheekily: "We have too many light bulbs, which one is Dong Hai?"

One day, Tian Dong seriously asked Sun Fang if she liked Dong Hai, and she told him that she had a sweetheart and was very strong.

Since it is very solid, why didn't the relationship be announced? Tian Dong didn't go into it.

Sun Fang didn't like to play tricks, she told Tian Dong, "Dong Hai likes you."

"..." Tian Dong didn't react much, and didn't question the authenticity of these words.

Wasting his high-quality appearance and not looking for a girl, but clinging to a boy, he came to such a conclusion, which explained the reason why Dong Hai was so close to him.

I didn't look forward to it, so there were no waves.

Tian Dong didn't avoid Dong Hai, didn't think whether Dong Hai asked Sun Fang to test his mind, or wondered if it was another satirical drama.

On the night of October 10th.

There is a piano practice room next to the school gymnasium, which is open to the public, with concrete walls, glass windows, and purple vines spreading upward.

It is a place with a strong artistic atmosphere, and students often take pictures and date there.

Outside is grass.

Listening to the not very smooth piano sound inside, looking at Dong Hai and him, Tian Dong's face is always a little pale, and his outline still exudes the temperament of a book page. He is 1 meters tall, which is the general height of boys in the south. In front of the sea, it looks a little dwarf.

Dong Hai didn't smile much, which made his face look like Tan Yuan, attracting people's attention.

Tian Dong stared at Dong Hai with a smirk, waiting for Dong Hai's possibly sarcastic or even funny confession.

But Dong Hai didn't confess his love, but chatted about basketball.

"Don't you like me?" Tian Dong asked in a sarcastic tone.

Dong Hai looked at him and didn't speak, wondering if it was hesitant to speak.

It was not the sarcastic gesture that Tian Dong thought.

The wind tousled hair covered half of Tian Dong's expression, he was embarrassed, maybe not, he was joking, and he kept joking.

Tian Dong was jealous of Gu Qin crying for him, and also thought of Huang Lihua's sad expression.

Regarding Huang Lihua, I heard another news recently that she seems to have chased after this school and worked in a clothing store outside the school.

Even though he had never seen her before, Tian Dong felt that this girl was too brave, like a knight who would never fall to the ground, and he began to have a sense of admiration for Huang Lihua.

"Girls like Huang Lihua are really rare." Tian Dong sighed.

Dong Hai turned his head and stared at him.

Tian Dong didn't know why he reacted so violently. Dong Hai pushed him against the wall of the wisteria, and was asked word by word: "Is your wound not healed yet? Are you ready to accept anyone?"

His aura finally made it difficult for Tian Dong to breathe, and he was easily irritated. There are some things that cannot be touched by Tian Dong.

Tian Dong grabbed his black collar with his backhand and growled: "Fuck you!" His pale face became paler...

"You want me to accept her? Then you will be happy?" Dong Hai asked Tian Dong with a loud voice.

"Fuck me!" Tian Dong pushed him away with great strength.

When leaving, he took three steps and made two steps, with the wind blowing in his ears, and it was foggy again that night, and Tian Dong's eye sockets began to become wet again.

"Actually, Dong Hai is a rare boy." Afterwards, Sun Fang advised him like that.

Tian Dong thought it was strange, they lived in a deformed world of mutual persuasion, the words were all the same, and the speakers were all sincere.

This matter was delayed by Tian Dong's stubbornness, Sun Fang would not mention it, he would not mention it, and Dong Hai did not disappear.

He just goes to Dong Hae's school less often.

In this way, Dong Hai came to his school more often, riding a bicycle.

Tian Dong will not avoid him, there is no need, whether it is ridicule or seriousness, his heart is a black hole, and he can suck anything.

Besides, Dong Hai is not messing around.

He just came over to look at Tian Dong, and sometimes dragged Tian Dong out for a ride, sometimes Tian Dong only slept in the dormitory, and he played in the basketball area downstairs of the dormitory.

When it was time to eat, he asked Tian Dong to go down to eat. He didn't interfere with Tian Dong's decadence, and followed his wishes, as if waiting for something to happen, such as peeling off the dark clouds to see the bright moon and so on.