Alley

-2020-

Shu Yi soaked his whole body in hot water, the bathroom was full of steam, and a thick layer of steam formed on the frosted glass bed.

In most cases, he always chooses to take a shower, which is more efficient and saves time.Occasionally in the long past, every time he wanted to Xiang Yu, he would put a puddle of hot water and put himself in it.

The scalding water wrapped around him, soft and warm, just like the embrace in his memory 20 years ago.

Only Xiang Yu has given him such a hug.He is greedy for the warmth he once got.

He finally lived the life he had promised Yu.He has received a good education and attends lectures in bright and clean classrooms; his dormitory is simple and comfortable, and there is no endless work for him to do; he can use his salary and bonus to go to any restaurant he wants to eat For meals, he could afford ruby ​​milk squares, sugar, and colorful and tempting sweets.

But Shu Yi can no longer experience the yearning and happiness of his youth.

Others say that Ruby’s fresh milk candy has been the same for 20 years, and the classic taste of the white rabbit toffee has never changed.

Shu Yi can no longer taste the sweetness that he missed day and night.

The days are always boring, he can only disguise himself with a faint smile.Time pushes him forward, he is often at a loss and in pain, what exactly is he living for.

He is always alone.He always thinks he fits in or likes it that way.

Actually not, he just insisted on Xiang Yu.

Since he was 15 years old, his cold and indifferent heart can only pretend to be Xiang Yu alone.

So he took that step on that rainy day and said hello to 25-year-old Xiang Yu.

He thought that Xiang Yu could save him.

The 35-year-old Shu Yi mustered up the courage to use up the last possibility in his life.

——If Xiang Yu can't do it, then no one can do it.

Because Xiang Yu is always omnipotent.

Because Xiang Yu is always tall and powerful.

In Shu Yi's eyes, Xiang Yu was the sky and the earth. A 25-year-old adult is like a god in the sky in the heart of a 15-year-old boy. He stretched out his hand to him, and he pointed out to him that there is still such a beautiful life. Even the candy he gave is so sweet .

But when Shu Yi went through 20 years, the 35-year-old Shu Yi looked at the 25-year-old Xiang Yu, but found that the god standing in his heart collapsed suddenly.

——Xiang Yu is just an ordinary man.

The 25-year-old Xiang Yu's chest is not as generous as he remembers.

At the age of 25, Xiang Yu's shoulders were not as firm as he remembered.

Even at work, it seems that Shu Yi is slightly better.

So Shu Yi was lost. He was lost in the sculpture named Xiang Yu that he built.

Shu Yi thought confusedly, so Xiang Yu can't do it either, right?

So he doesn't love Xiang Yu either, right?

So what does his 20 years of waiting count as?

In those lonely nights, alone at the seaside, the spring, summer, autumn and winter spent alone, countless times dreaming back to the back door of the alley, what is it?

The man he loved from adolescence to the age of 35 was just a phantom in his dream.What is the purpose of the 20 years of persistence, anticipation, and stubbornness?

So he broke up with Xiang Yu that day, went to the bar to get drunk, and had sex with Xiang Yu for the last time.

Shu Yi was immersed in the slowly becoming lukewarm hot water, his consciousness was lax, he thought, Xiang Yu is still special after all.

After so many years, there was a time when he was so ridiculous that he would agree to anyone who pursued him.However, he couldn't let anyone get close to him at all.

Only Xiang Yu is special. Facing the 25-year-old Xiang Yu, his body will become emotional and hot because of Xiang Yu.

After the 35-year-old Shu Yi experienced the first sexual orgasm, she thought in a daze that she was so happy.

The first seed planted by Xiang Yu when he was 15 years old finally blossomed when he was 35 years old.

That man imprisoned him for 20 years, from body to heart.

He tried to be with others, but failed; he was trapped in a cage named Xiang Yu, maybe a fixed-term prison sentence, maybe he will meet Xiang Yu again after ten years; or maybe ten years later, he There will never be a man named Xiang Yu in this city.

They are like strangers in countless parallel time and space, because the accidental timelines suddenly met and crossed, and then separated.

Only Shu Yi was pushed away, 20 years, more than 7000 days.Shu Yi is in pain every day.

Every day he was thinking, give up Xiang Yu.

Every day he envies that the people around him can talk about love, hate, confession, and break up freely.

He can only miss the airway, and occasionally return to the alley where he lived when he was a child, waiting for the person who will never appear.

Shu Yi thought, I hate him.

——It would have been fine if we hadn't met.

After Shu Yi took a shower, he found Duan Yiping in his dormitory.

Sitting quietly on his desk, watching him borrow the latest journal literature from the library.

Duan Yiping turned his head, saw Shu Yi's red face and wet hair just out of the bath, sighed, and stepped forward to help him brush his hair.

"Why did you wash it for so long? What happened to make you unhappy?"

Duan Yiping gently wiped Shu Yi's hair with his fingers. As Shu Yi's only friend, Shu Yi did not resist his approach.He was once the only person who did not resist Shu Yi.

Shu Yi's eyelashes were still steamed, and her cheeks were very red and attractive.

"Yeah. I met Xiang Yu today."

Duan Yiping paused for a moment, then took the hair dryer and helped Shu Yi dry his hair.

"Why did you meet him? Didn't you go to listen to the report with Xiao Shen today?"

Duan Yiping was afraid that Shu Yi would be in a bad mood after they broke up, so he specially arranged for Shu Yi and Xiao Shen to go out to listen to the report to relax, and also specifically told Xiao Shen to take Shu Yi to eat something good.

Shu Yi has been too thin recently.

"Well, in the restaurant."

After that, both of them were silent, and it took five minutes for Shu Yi to add, "I saw him wearing a suit for the first time today, and I suddenly thought he was quite handsome."

"..."

"He used to always wear a white shirt. The day we reunited, he was wearing a hoodie and jeans. He looked so young, as I remember him.

The look is so different. "

"At that time, he was standing alone in the rain. I didn't want to walk over it. But... I didn't want him to get wet."

"Xiao Yi."

Duan Yiping interrupted Shuyi, turned off the hair dryer, and put it aside.

"Ah."

"Stop talking, okay?"

Duan Yiping's voice trembled slightly.

Shu Yi waited for Xiang Yu for 20 years, while Duan Yiping guarded Shu Yi for 15 years.

Shu Yi's words were too cruel.

Shu Yi raised his head, the blush on his cheeks fainted from the bath quietly faded away, leaving only a little bit of redness in the corners of his eyes.

"Brother." He said.

Duan Yiping's heart trembled violently, he knew what Shu Yi was going to say, but he couldn't stop him.

"Brother, don't waste your time on me."

Duan Yiping suddenly remembered what Shu Yi had said to him 12 years ago, half joking and half serious.

"I can try to be with anyone. But you are the only one who can't."

"Senior brother is my only friend. I don't want to lose you, so senior brother, please don't like me."