Heartbreaker

—I killed him.

This idea has been entrenched in every inch of his body for many years, almost overwhelming him.Douglas will always remember that clear afternoon, when his friend rushed towards him, squeezed his hand excitedly, and said, "Douglas, do you know? I feel the divine oracle of the Lord's wisdom flashing again in my eyes now." You don't know how much influence 'that place' has on me, it can be called saving my thoughts that are about to become rotten!"

"Thank you, Douglas!"

He watched his friend laugh and cry and roll on the lawn, singing into the blazing sun like a prisoner released from prison.Douglas knew that just three days before, Wash had given his teachers a new book of thoughts.The little black-haired monk patted his chest, smug, his eyes full of confidence and hope, and kept telling him that the article was an inquiry to the soul, and it was also the highest peak of his thought state!

He remembered Washer's last words, like a proud man who was about to climb to the top, "Douglas, I believe that this Proverb will be highly recognized and praised by the teachers!"

As a result, he saw Vash again, who was being reprimanded by the priests of the monastery in front of many probationary monks.The boys gathered together curiously, with innocent and vicious expressions, watching the good show in front of them with great interest.

Only Douglas noticed that his friend was about to cry.

"Your writing is worse than rubbish!" said the priest fiercely, throwing the thin pages of stapled paper into the black-haired boy's face, "Is this what you should be, Vash Polu ?It's disgusting, you've let us down!"

He saw the boy clenched his fists amidst the laughter of others, raised a pair of hazy tearful eyes, and choked up, "You...insult me...why do you...insult my hard-wrote experience, and speak it clearly Worthless..."

The priest said grimly, "Why? Because you write this kind of thing, which is an insult to God and the church! What's even more ridiculous is that you don't know your own stupidity and ignorance, so you are complacent!"

"Then please tell me!" The black-haired boy roared with red veins, "What is 'truth and wisdom'? Is it just the empty words written in the book, or as long as it is approved by you, it is called'" "Truth" is called "wisdom"? The real truth and wisdom can stand the test and ponder, and you can't dismiss it as "garbage" with just a few words!"

The scene exploded into chaos, the priest was furious, threw out his whip, and beat the boy severely!

"What do you think you are, just read some superficial stuff, and talk about 'truth and wisdom' in front of us?!"

Wash Polu curled up on the ground, protecting his head, his eyes were red, but he refused to shed a tear.The onlooker monk boys chattered loudly, grimacing in surprise, sticking out their tongues mockingly, and gloating, but they didn't show any care or sympathy for Vash Polu.

Seeing such embarrassing things happened to the once highly praised genius monk, it was too late for them to be happy in their hearts.

"teacher!"

At this moment, Douglas stood up and shouted at the priest, "Bishop Baldwin calls you over, now!"

The priest snatched away his whip angrily, picked up the paper thrown on the ground, and tore it into pieces!

"Sooner or later, you will regret what you said today, Wash Polu." He said coldly, "It's because you were confused for a while. As your teacher, I will not blame you for the past, and I hope you can take care of yourself."

The purple-faced priest walked away amidst the sighs of the boys. Douglas pushed the guy who was in the way, ran to his friend, and anxiously helped him up, "Wash! Wash!"

Wash's eyes were out of focus, and it took him a long time to recognize his appearance, "...Douglas?"

Douglas said in a low voice, "It's me. The old guy is gone, and he will probably find out that I lied to him soon... You go back and talk about it, don't worry about the rest!"

he thought silently.In this way, even if they find fault afterwards, they will only find me and will not insult you anymore.You who have only received flowers and applause before may not know that although these priests look well-dressed, they can actually say any nasty things.

Vash stood up, dazed, and staggered away.Looking at his friend's dull figure, Douglas felt his heart hurt for a moment.

He squatted down, and amidst the mocking laughter of the other boys, he picked up all the articles that his friend had been torn into pieces piece by piece.During this period, a few boys played tricks and deliberately stomped on the pieces of paper.Douglas was not polite, he just punched those bystanders with a few heavy punches, and the scars on his head were shining like bright medals, shouting to tell the disciplinary monk.

"Go ahead and sue the others, you bawling asses."

Douglas looked sullenly at the back of the boy shouting, and said through gritted teeth, "Just wait for me, sooner or later..."

In fact, without "sooner or later", he was punished by the monk that night.The monk recognized his face, and saw that he was not as tearful as the other boys, and he struck hard and hard, almost knocking Douglas unconscious.

"You bastard Mogul who doesn't know good or evil!" The disciplinary monk scolded, "I knew that Vash Polu's depravity was absolutely inseparable from you! If you are bad, you will bring bad to others. You are shameless. Take full responsibility for your mistakes!"

Douglas lay unconscious on the ground for a moment, and finally woke up.He felt the burning scar on his buttocks, grunted in pain, and limped back to his room.

His roommate had already fallen asleep. Douglas lit a candle in the corner, took out the scraps of paper from the leather bag, and glued them together bit by bit under the light.In order not to hurt the wound on his buttocks, he had to lie on the ground and get up from time to time to move his legs and feet.He glued it very carefully, analyzing his friend's thoughts as he glued, trying to find the arguments that made the priests furious.

"...Faith is the evidence of the indestructibility of the body, and a heart that pursues love and freedom is the only symbol of the nobility of the human soul..."

"There is no distinction between high and low in human beings... Poor and lowly people can completely rely on their own efforts to achieve a happy life... On the contrary, even if you have a noble background, if you don't work hard, your life will still fall into a trap. Mire..."

"There is only one 'God' in everyone's heart...that is their own ideological principles and moral bottom line..."

After reading his friend's thoughts from beginning to end, Douglas was amazed, but also terrified, unable to calm down for a long time.Vash actually showed these things to the priests!Douglas was terrified, and immediately thanked his friend for not being locked up.

He slipped out of the dormitory at night, and staggered towards his friend's house amidst the cursing and complaining of other roommates.Along the way his mind was filled with the beginnings of various persuasions.In his opinion, his friend's experience is full of inspiration and splendor, every word is precious, and the only regret is that it should not appear in the church.

From the perspective of the priests who control everyone's thoughts, every word in the article implies rebellion against God, and it is easy to become a symptom of those people taking advantage of the topic and taking it out of context!

Vash, you clearly shouldn't be writing these taboo opinions...

The young Mogol boy thought sadly of his friend's cheerful eyes, the knowing tone of voice.The other party's haze for several days was finally driven away by the aura of thought, but it caused more stubborn dark clouds to cover the sky.

He saw his distraught friend in the silent corridor outside the door.

As Wash folded his knees and said nothing in the dark, Douglas came slowly forward, sat down beside his friend, and lit the wick with a match.

A soft light immediately enveloped the two children.

"I'm a fool, Douglas." After a long time, Vash opened his mouth with a tired voice, "My thoughts are the same, I can't accept it for my teacher, it's terrible..."

"Here, Wash."

Interrupting the other's whisper, Douglas handed the glued thought essay to his friend.Wash was stunned for a moment when he saw the tattered paper, raised his dark eyes, and looked at Douglas blankly.

"It would be a pity if such a remarkable insight could not be preserved."

Douglas watched his friend by candlelight and said with a smile, "I understand every word you say, Wash."

"You are an amazing thinker... If you want, show me every thought you have in the future, okay?"

After all, he didn't speak out the words of shock and kill his friend's thoughts.

For the first time, he felt his heart dominating his brain.

****

"You know what, Vash?"

Bishop Douglas Hayden held his forehead, and the afterglow of the candle cast a quiet shadow on his side cheek.

"I had a friend once."

He slowly straightened up, opened the bottle of rose water on the table, and poured a glass for each of them.

Brother Wash Polu watched nervously as the bishop poured himself half a cup of the bright red liquid, swallowed it, and said, "I...I don't drink..."

"It's not wine." Douglas said softly, seemingly tired. "It's just ordinary toilet water. Drink some. It doesn't violate our religious rules. I often drink it to relieve stress."

Vash nodded cautiously, put the rose water to his lips, and took a sip.Douglas watched his every move and said, "Do you want to hear about my friend?"

"If you will, Bishop."

Douglas smiled, stared at the pale yellow candlelight, and said, "I once had a friend. But he is not a normal person."

"He's a hopelessly madman."

Vash almost spit out the flower dew from his mouth.Douglas narrowed his eyes and said, "Do you know how crazy he is? He is clearly in the church, but he doesn't understand the meaning and rules of the church's existence. He acts recklessly, with that poor talent, is arrogant and rude, and hates everyone. Man, after all, leads himself to the path of destruction."

Vash asked in a daze, "What exactly is going on?"

"He's a heretic." Douglas sipped casually, "No, it's more appropriate to say heresy. In fact, he can't be a believer of any religion. He scoffed at dogma, thinking that it imprisoned people's minds and covered up The origin and truth of the world.”

"What does he think is the source and the truth?" Vash asked.

"..." Douglas stared straight at him, without saying a word, just took another sip of the flower dew.Seeing the other party's ambiguous attitude, Vash stopped asking, "Is he really your friend, Bishop?"

"Of course." Douglas said calmly. "He was sometimes like a screaming woman, sometimes like a rambunctious child, and sometimes like a dying beast. As he became more and more mad, he laughed at everyone. Priest, say they are pigs with fat brains. He has almost lost his decency and rationality as a human being. Once he becomes crazy and angry, even I want to stay away from him.

Vash listened silently, feeling a dull pain in his heart for some reason.He whispered, "That friend of yours must be very lonely, with bruises all over his heart, full of unrelenting pain."

"So what, he asked for it." Douglas stared at the cold night outside the window.

"You astonish me, Bishop." Vash raised his eyes with a faint gleam of anger. "You kept saying you were his friend—let's say. When he broke down, when he was crazy, you not only I didn’t think of persuading or comforting him, but instead thought of escaping, and later—in front of other people, in front of me, I used such harsh words to describe him!”

"If that friend knows you are such a person and hears what you just said!" The black-robed monk clenched his fists and said sharply, "Do you know how sad he will be?!"

"How sad?" Douglas slowly turned his head to look at him, his tone so flat that it was almost impossible to tell whether it was mocking or not.

Wash sneered, "Who knows. I'm not his friend, let alone claiming to be his friend."

"So, how sad is it?!"

The black-robed monk was stunned on his seat by the other party's question that suddenly raised his voice.Douglas stood up, took a few deep breaths, and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to press you, but I really want to know. After all, I really don't understand the possible degree and limit of 'sorrow'. "

Vash said sadly, "I don't know very well when you ask me this way, bishop. But I know that if you can't even feel the emotions of your friends, and even regard them as a kind of 'crazy'... I Never met a friend who would do that. This friendship should have collapsed a long time ago."

"Is that so, Wash?" Douglas looked up. "I was just being honest about how I felt, and I didn't bother to say false good things. And at this moment, now, I can say with equal honesty that even though I hated him , complained about him, detested him—”

"But I love him more than anyone else in the world."