horror effect

The small town infirmary is well-heated, and the snakehead fritillary on the windowsill blooms in the middle of winter, with purple-spotted flowers hanging down.Dr. Hostatova is watering the flowers with a small watering can and picking out the old dried leaves from the pots.These potted flowers are her favorite things. They were originally given by patients. After careful care, they bring some breath of nature to the hospital.When she is tired from work, she likes to look at the vigorously growing plants.

No one came to see the doctor that day, and the work in the clinic was much easier. After watering the flowers, Hostatova asked Nikolai to help her organize the medicines.They were busy when the door creaked open and Julian Raymond walked in.

"Hello, Mr. Raymond." Nicholas greeted him. "How's the wound on your head?"

"It's almost all over, thank you." Julian said, sitting on a chair in the consulting room.Hostatova stopped what she was doing, came to the consulting room, and asked him, "Are you here for a doctor?"

"Yes, I'll talk to you guys by the way. My knee hurts." He said and pointed to his left leg.

The doctor asked him to roll up his pant legs to his knees to examine, when she noticed a hollow under Julian's left knee, a long scar in the skin.

"How did it happen? A cut?" she asked.

"No. It's a gunshot wound."

Both Hostatova and Nikolay looked at him in surprise.And Julian said relaxedly as if he was used to it, "Don't look at me like that, it's just an old injury I got in Bosnia and Herzegovina when I was young."

The doctor was startled at the name of the place, and Julian felt her hands tremble in his lap.

But she tried her best to suppress her excitement, reached out and pressed her knee, and said, "The old wound that hurts the bone will start to cause trouble after a long time, and now the weather is so cold, you must keep warm. I I'll give you the ointment to apply."

After paying for the medicine, Julian did not leave immediately.The main purpose of his visit was not to see a doctor. He sat next to the sofa by the window, pretending to admire the potted plants, but looked at the doctor who continued to arrange the medicines from time to time.He had plenty of time, he was in no hurry, and he knew he would succeed.On the other hand, Hostatova became restless, recording mechanically in her hands, but thinking about other things in her mind.After a while, she asked Nicholas to sort out the medicines in the warehouse, but she sat beside Julian.

"Work done?" Julian said, grinning.

"Hmm..." She answered vaguely, frowning, as if she didn't know how to speak.Julian smiled, as if encouraging her.

"Mr. Raymond, did your knee injury come from the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina?"

"Correct."

"Then...you were..."

"I'm a member of the peacekeeping force."

"Ah..." she called out softly, "You have been to many places in Bosnia and Herzegovina, right?"

"I have been to cities, villages, and wilderness."

"I want to ask you about someone," said the doctor.Her face became very pale, and her black eyes looked into the depths of Julian's. "He was just a businessman then... he may have been captured, he may have died... He was about half a head taller than you, with black curly hair, brown eyes, a rectangular face, a very determined look, and he liked to wear dark clothes Jacket and light-coloured trousers, with an accounting book in his hand..."

"Is he your husband Anton?" Julian asked softly.

"... yes. You know... have you seen him?"

Julian shook his head. "I don't remember ever seeing a man like that, in a place where I'd be lucky not to have seen a soldier. Even if we had been lucky enough to meet, I wouldn't have known him and gone out of my way to remember him. You know, the war middle……"

Hostatova raised her hand to stop him from speaking.She lowered her head and raised it after a long time, her eyes were moist and her chest heaved violently.

"I know that war will kill people, and many people will die. Anyone who appears on that land may die, and my husband is no exception. But who has this right to actually deprive me of happiness , depriving countless people like me of happiness. Ah! Yes, they say 'war is for the country and the nation', but what kind of country and nation are willing to sacrifice the lives and happiness of countless individuals innocently. Even those How can the victorious party repay the pain of those who lost their loved ones? Mr. Raymond, you are a peacekeeper, but what you maintain is only the peace of a murderer soaked in blood! Do you understand? Do you understand?"

Julian took Hostatova's hands in his palms.

"I have gunshot wounds on my legs and my arms. It hurts every winter. I don't think this problem will heal for the rest of my life. But I am grateful for them. When they hurt, they remind me that I also hurt. I have killed people, but I can only do that. I chose the former between my own life and the lives of others. I am tormented by pain and guilt, but I should feel more guilty than those who started the war. People... not only that, but the world that provides the basis for war. Renee Hostatova, do you have the courage to stand against the whole world?"

She screamed, but never shed tears.

"I have not! Not courage as you call it! I am afraid. I stand on the ground now, with stones under my feet, and when I had courage, I would hang over the abyss. Against the world! How easy it is to say! I'm in this world, I'm a part of this world, how can I fight against it? No, no, I don't need courage, I just want to know how Anton died. Are you agitating me, are you anti-government What does your guilt and pity have to do with me? What does it have to do with everyone except you?"

"I want to help you..."

"You're a liar!" she cried.

"So you are always like this!" Julian said loudly, "Suspect everyone, deliberately throw yourself into a desperate situation, voluntarily drown in tears without struggling! You see your father in the same way."

"Why did you mention him...?" Hostatova's eyes froze for a moment, and she suddenly lost her vitality, dimming like an extinguished candle.

"I heard that the relationship between your father and Anton is not good."

"do not talk……"

"I also heard that it was your father who sent Anton to Bosnia and Herzegovina during the war."

"Stop it!" The female doctor stood up.

"No, it's not over." Julian stood up too, and pressed her shoulders, "I think that's what caused your long agony and broke you with your father, because you didn't stop it from happening. But have you ever thought about it? Why did Mr. Bowai send Anton to Bosnia and Herzegovina? Anton is a relative of Theoros, have you ever thought about how much this has to do with your father's behavior?"

"Go away!" Hostatova pointed to the door, "I don't want to think about anything!"

"Renee..." Julian wanted to continue persuading, but suddenly Nicholas broke in, and he rushed straight to Julian angrily, pushing him towards the door with both hands. "Please get out, Mr. Raymond." Nicholas said forcefully, "We don't welcome troublemakers."

"I'm not..." Julian tried to defend himself, but Nikolai didn't give him a chance. He said, "You go. No matter what your original intention was, you caused Renee pain, and that's your fault. Don't wait, let's go!" Nicholas' eyes were burning with extraordinary anger, Julian flinched, he glanced at the female doctor covering her face with her hands, and left the hospital.

Back at the hotel, Julian lay in bed thinking for a long time.

He knew that his mistake was that he should not bring the topic to the war too early, but no matter what he did, he would eventually touch the scar on Hostatova's heart.But he found that when he explored the doctor's inner world, he also opened his own inner world.He wants both parties to be sincere.

But it turned out that, as Nicholas said, he had brought her pain, and compared with this pain, his actions were despicable.

He felt very distressed, one because of what he had done, and the other because of the investigation of the white lion.Whether he has the right to harm others if it is for the purpose of the investigation.This question is just like what Hostatova said: whether people have the right to sacrifice for the benefit of the country and the nation.He knew the answer very well in his heart, but it was even more distressing just because he knew it well.

Julian was thinking about how many people he had hurt in his 37 years of life, a lot, some unconsciously, some on purpose.He wondered if he could avoid these injuries to others, and concluded that he could not.What makes him both helpless and afraid is that the reason for this conclusion is that he is an independent and free person.

But it's okay, he thought, I hurt others, and others hurt me.He thought of the gunshot wounds to his arms and legs.

There was a sound of flapping wings outside the window. Julian thought it was a sparrow, but when he looked up, he realized it was a white crow.It was scratching the windowpane with its claws, making a harsh creaking sound.Julian jumped out of bed at once, ran to the window, and looked at it through the window.

"Hi! You're looking for me?" he said, and then he thought that it would be strange to talk to a bird, but the white bird seemed to understand his words, pointing its pointed beak up and down, and clawing at the window edge.

Julian opened the window, and he shivered from the cold air outside.The white crow started to fly in circles in front of the window, and after a few circles, it suddenly flew into the distance.It repeated this action several times.

"Come closer if you want me to go with you," Julian said.

But it clearly understood Julian's attempts to catch him, and kept it at a distance.It was still flying in circles, occasionally snapping its wings together, dropping vertically, and then flying up again as it approached the ground. "Good boy!" cried Julian. "You want me to jump out of the window! You see, I don't have wings, and I won't jump if you put ten mattresses on the ground for me!"

As soon as he finished speaking, a gust of wind suddenly blew up, and the curtain lashed towards Julian's back like a whip held by a giant. With a scream, he fell out of the window with his head down. .