[bright] time

(light side)

The night sky in late winter is very clear, the cold air seems to scare away the clouds, only a full moon hangs high in the sky, the bright moonlight falls through the glass door of the balcony onto the chessboard of the [-]th Road, behind Facing the door facing the moonlight, I played the last unfinished game left by Zuoi.

I always did this every fifteen nights after Zuowei disappeared, sometimes for an hour or two, sometimes for the whole night.In any case, after holding the chess piece again, I never stopped.

...This is the origin of my Go.

Like some kind of ritual, the moonlight led me to play Zuowei's chess, and I played my own chess according to my own thinking.How many possibilities are there in an unfinished game of chess?

I think the answer will fall on the last full moon before my death.

Thank you for your advice.Zuowei.

The chess game is over, I said silently in my heart, and bowed to Mingyue.

I won this game of chess today.

When entering the closing stage, I had an idea, and found that there was still a chance to enter the siege in the battle area in the lower left corner. In this way, I drove straight to many places, and finally I was able to win with two eyes.

It's been three months since the last victory. It seems that something good will happen this month, right?

Hey~ Am I being too naive?

However, how objective is it to play chess with yourself like this?Honestly I don't know either.Just playing like this always makes me feel at peace.

If Honinbo's third battle could be handled with such calmness, he wouldn't be rewarded with a black star.Tsk.

Looking at the watch in his hand, the time came to eleven o'clock... and five hours passed before he knew it.Fortunately, I ate a bowl of ramen at the station before going home, otherwise my concentration would not be able to last, right?

Put away the chess pieces, close the curtains, turn the stiff neck, and suddenly a delicious smell comes oncoming, faint, but I'm sure it's the smell of miso fried lionfish.

Is the next door cooking some delicious supper?

I touched my stomach that was almost digested, I think I should cook something too.

Pushing open the locked door and walking out of the room, I opened the refrigerator and found that there were three or four more crisper boxes in the cupboard.

Weird...

Open it and see that there are miso-fried lionfish, fish soup topped with green broccoli, sliced ​​pork in ginger sauce, and a box of sliced ​​apples.

"Taya?"

I called my name to the Japanese room next to the kitchen, but no one answered.

Opening the paper door of the study, there was no one there, as if no one had ever been there.

Walking to the kitchen and standing in front of the sink, I touched the dishes that had been dried naturally on the dish rack, but they were still wet, and water droplets were still hanging in the sink.

The guy came and...cooked and did the dishes for me, and I didn't even notice.

Sudden fear of imagining...

What kind of expression and mood will he have when he leaves.

Sighing, I stared blankly at the table in front of the bar, the image of that guy sitting there alone waiting for me to eat rushed into my mind,...Damn it.

In a daze, he suddenly found that there was one missing black and white pair of cups that should be hanging on the cup holder.That pair of mugs was chosen in the store with Taya when we first moved here.

He thinks my choice is too eye-catching, I think his choice is too monotonous, and the customers in the store come around to persuade them because of a cup..., just walked into the third store under the atmosphere of turning faces, and the two people's eyes met at the same time Fall on this pair of mugs.

Thanks to the blessing of this pair of cups, the scene that only feels childish now can be drawn to a halt.

After that, as soon as I saw these two cups lined up together, I couldn't help but want to laugh, and a warm current spread in my heart.This is also a moving memorial, right?

The mug with a black background climbs white vertical and horizontal straight lines, and the white mug crawls with black vertical and horizontal straight lines.The mugs in a set of two are now only the white ones hanging quietly on the cup holders.

I remember that the first thing I did when I came back was to drink a cup of coffee, and after I drank it, I put it on the glass table in the living room, and then all I could think about was the silver moonlight and the unfinished chess game.

I glanced at the table in the living room, there was nothing on it, and the magazines I put on the table after finishing reading were even neatly put into the bookcase next to the TV.

I looked around the living room and kitchen, opened all the cupboards, walked into the room and into the study, but couldn't find the black mug.Finally, an unidentified object wrapped in newspaper was seen in a non-burnable trash can.

The words "broken glass" were written on it with a marker pen, and the clear handwriting was Toya's characters.

Looking carefully, some strokes of the black handwriting are blurred, and a few crumpled dots can be vaguely seen on the newspaper, just like... the traces of water droplets falling on the paper after drying.

Tear off the tape, open the two or three layers of newspaper wrapped, and inside is a black mug that has been broken into several pieces.The shattered blade looks sharp and terrifying.

I really want to ask myself... where did I go just now?

Picking up one of the shards of glass, I found a little dark red blood on the sharp edge...

The splinters that tore through Taya's fingertips are now digging into my heart.

Only at this moment did I realize... that the circles of traces were not water droplets... but tears.

What the hell did I... do to him.

***

(bright side)

"Oh! Taya! You came just in time!"

When I was about to leave the chess academy, Mr. Kurata carried a bag and waved to me and walked over.

"My hometown is sending apples again! This bag is for you!"

"Huh? That's too much! Mr. Kurata." A whole bag full of bright red apples was stuffed on me like this. Although it looked delicious, I was sure I couldn't eat so many.

"Impossible, impossible! These apples must be delicious enough for you to take one after another, I'm afraid it won't be enough by then! There are people I met today, like the kid who went back early like Shinto, who doesn't have that good fortune La! Ah yes! Don’t tell him, I can’t stand being told I’m biased! Then I’m leaving!”

"Eh? Kurata-san!"

Ignoring my call, Mr. Kurata waved his hand and got into a taxi and left.

ah~

Looking at the whole bag of apples, he wondered if he should make a trip to Fuji's house.I can't finish eating all these apples by myself...But is it really good to go? …after all today is…

While walking towards the station while thinking, someone suddenly spoke to me.

"Mr. Toya, hello. Kurata-sensei is so kind."

"Oka-kun?"

Turning my head around, it was Kennosuke Oka who was standing behind me talking to me.The reason for some hesitation is because his long hair has been cut off at some point, and without that feature, he is just like a teenager who usually walks on the road.

"Me too, hehe..." Holding a bag of apples, he nodded to me.

"Hello. Your hair...?"

"Oh... yes, it's been cut off. It looks much cleaner, right?" She smiled shyly.

"why?"

On the one hand, I feel that I have asked too much, and on the other hand, I want to know.

Oka-kun was a little surprised by my question, as if he didn't expect me to talk to him more.

"...Actually...I started growing my hair because...Shindo-senpai once told me,

"The length of hair has nothing to do with the activity of brain cells!I know a guy who has long hair and is super strong!Why did you cut your hair like a dog gnawed it just because Shoji insulted you a few words! ? 』

I am very simple, right? …But I just want to be stronger. "

Shake his head.

I've also heard what Shinto said.

At that time, some people said that the person Shinto pointed to was me, but I knew it was not.

It is impossible for him to praise his opponent like this. Besides, I only had medium-length hair at the time, which must be different from what he called "long".He hasn't found out yet, has he?He would often subconsciously set his eyes on the back of the person with long hair... as if he misses it very much.

"...A while ago, I didn't play as expected. I felt a little flustered, and my hair got weird again. It's a bad habit. So I went to discuss it with Shinto-senpai again."

"...What did he say in the end?"

"He still said that hair length has nothing to do with brain cells. … But he also said, 'If cutting your hair can make you make up your mind, maybe cutting it is a good thing. Anyway, why do you want to let your hair flow so much? Long? Is it really not troublesome??’ It’s like he never said those words.”

Pouting slightly, Oka-kun was obviously complaining to me about Shinto.

Suddenly, I felt a little bit like laughing, and I also kind of understood the reason why Shinto loved these juniors so much.

"I think, I misunderstood what Senior meant from the beginning. He probably said those words just to ask me to be true to myself and not be influenced by others."

"Well, I guess so."

After swiping the suica and passing through the ticket gate, we said goodbye to the different directions of the trams we were going to take.

"Then goodbye, Mr. Taya. ...It seems that this is the first time I have talked to you so much, I feel very happy. Thank you."

Is that right? …

"Be careful on the way back."

"Yes!"

Seeing the tram on Oka-kun leaving, I also decided to get on the tram and move to Shinto's house.

…I maybe, should be a little more confident.

Press the password of the apartment door to unlock it and enter the lobby, take the elevator to the front of Suteng's room, take out the backup key as a matter of course, open the door and enter the house.

"excuse me."

"It's "I'm back", when are you going to change your words?" 』

There was no fussing that would appear every time, and the room was quiet.

Turning on the light in the corridor, I saw that Shinto's shoes were left in the entrance and did not go out.

"Shindo?"

Asked, walked into the house, took the bag into the study as usual and put it away.

Close the door of the study and stand in front of the door leading to the living room. Ten square frames are opened on the wooden door, and the frames are inlaid with mosaic-like glass, and the other side of the glass is dark.

There is no loud TV sound, no warm greetings, no warm atmosphere, it is different from the past.

Opening the door of the living room, the fluorescent lights on the ceiling were indeed off, but it was not completely dark. The moonlight outside the balcony shone brightly into the room.The silver-white moonlight is very bright and beautiful...,

But I don't like it at all. Once upon a time, I actually started to hate the full moon.

Draw the curtains and turn on the light in the living room, knock twice on the door of the rattan room,

"Shinto, I'm going in."

When I opened the door, the lights in the room were dimmed, only the moonlight shining through the window from the balcony.Shinto, who was sitting facing the moonlight, could only see his back from here, as well as the sound of falling.

"Shinto, Kurata-san gave me a lot of apples, do you want some?"

Pat ─ ─ ─ ─.

"Um."

"Then I'll go peel it....You haven't had dinner yet, have you? Or should I cook it by the way?"

Pat ─ ─ ─ ─.

"Um."

Pat ─ ─ ─ ─.

"Then you wait."

At first, I wanted to close the door tightly, but then I gave up, leaving a little gap and just stuck the door, but I didn't want the door to be completely closed.

After washing the rice, put the rice into the electric pot and press the switch.

Cut the cauliflower and put it in the microwave oven, set the time and press the operation switch.

Turn on the range hood and fry the sliced ​​meat in the pan, pour the adjusted ginger sauce into it, cover the pan and cook for a while, then remove from the pan.

At this time, the music of the completion of heating came from the microwave oven. Take it out and let it cool down. Use another pot to cook the thickened sauce of the larvae and pour it on the cauliflower.

Finally, put the miso-coated lionfish into the frying pan, and let the range hood run for 1 minute before turning it off.

It will take 5 minutes for the rice to be cooked. At this time, I washed two apples and removed the skins, cut them into easy-to-eat shapes, soaked them in salt water and put them in the refrigerator.

All the food was placed on the dining table, the switch jumped, and two bowls of rice were served.

Walk to the front of the room, push open the door, and say to the people inside,

"Shinto. You can eat it."

Pat ─ ─.

"Um."

Pat ─ ─.

"...Come out, it's going to be cold."

Looking at the back of Shinto who answered but did not move, I added another sentence.

Pat ─ ─.

"Um."

Still the same answer...

He locked the door, went back to the dining table and sat for ten minutes, but he didn't come out.

While waiting, I found that there was one less mug that should be hanging on the cup holder.There is no Shinto.Turning to look at the living room, it turned out to be on the table in the living room. ...which pissed me off a bit.

"Didn't you say that you should wash the cup after drinking it many times?"

"Sorry sorry!Wash it now! 』

There is no apology that I hear every time, the room is quiet, and everything is meaningless talking to myself.

Looking at the table full of dishes, I have no appetite.

I just took the cup and walked to the sink, scrubbing the bottom of the cup with coffee residue.

The black material is stuck with dirty things and it is not easy to see clearly. The safest way is to wash every corner by hand.

Jin Teng always washes very casually, two or three rinses with clean water will be enough, no matter how many times he is read, he just can't hear it──.

Can't hear.

Now he can't hear anything.

can't hear me...

I let the water flow from the faucet, and I began to feel very tired... A sense of powerlessness invaded my whole body.

Shouldn't have come. ...shouldn't have come today.

Turn off the water and hang the cup back into the cup holder.

Ka clang ─ ─!There was a harsh sound.

When I came back to my senses, I saw Jinteng's cup fell to the ground and I broke it.

"Isn't it---"

Looking at the motionless door, the room was as quiet as if nothing had happened.

From just now until now... I've been alone.

Who do I want to apologize to?

I am too possessive.

There is only one day in a month when his eyes are not on me,...it's just one day, but I still find it unbearable...

It's me... stupid.

I always thought that as long as I work hard and wait quietly, one day... I will become the object of the secret he is willing to tell me.

Nah, Shinto.

Why can you be so focused when playing chess alone?

...Who the hell is sitting in front of you?

…Looking at the moon at the fifteenth night, who are you thinking about?

Is that the one with the long hair, the one who is super strong at Go....

There will be no answer.On the other side of these questions lies Shinto's own secret, a sanctuary that he doesn't want me to get involved at all.

***

(light side)

Ding dong ─ ding dong ding dong ─ ─

Ding dong ─ ding dong ding dong ─ ─

On the way here, I made several calls to his mobile phone. At first, no one answered, but then it was completely shut down, and I called his home phone again. After a few rings, I couldn't get in again.

"Taya! It's me! Open the door!"

Even after the doorbell was rang like this, he didn't come out to answer the door, and he didn't even give me a chance to explain.

bump bump bump──! !

"I know you're inside! Taya!!" I slammed on the door anxiously, wondering if I should kick the door open like before.

As soon as the lights in the room were turned on, a figure could be vaguely seen standing behind the door. The figure was aqua blue, it was pajamas, and he was probably already sleeping.

Pat-

There was an unhurried unlocking sound, and the door inside rattled open, revealing a white face in the crack of the door.I don't know if it's because the fluorescent lights are too dim, but Taya looks tired.

With a voice without any emotion,

"It's late, don't knock. You'll disturb the next door."

If I hadn't known him for so long, I would have been concealed by his current expression.This face hides all the sadness and anger under the indifference.

"Let me in."

"What's the matter." From just now until now, his eyes have been closed, as if he doesn't want to see me at all.

"Let me in, let me see your hands."

"I'm asking you something. If you want to say something that doesn't make sense, please go back."

"Don't lie! I know you've been to my house, I know you've cooked for me, I know you cut your hand. Please let me see! Taya!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm tired, you go back."

lb!

Hold down the door that will be closed by him again,

"Then you told me what are those dishes in the refrigerator? Sliced ​​apples? Cleared table teacups? Things thrown in the trash and wrapped in newspaper? If you didn't come, what are these!?

And this left hand that has been placed behind the back! ? "

As he spoke, he quickly reached out to grab the hand hidden behind his back.But he tried his best to dodge and just wouldn't let me see it.

We argued for a long time as if we were robbing something, finally, I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my eyes to see it, suddenly Taya frowned, his expression was a little distorted, I let him go immediately hand.

"sorry…."

Withdrawing his hand and turning his face away, he turned his cold back to me again.

The fierce struggle just hit his wound, and the moment he withdrew his hand, I saw bright red blood oozing from under the OK bandage attached to his index finger.

"…sorry…."

"It's you who lied, not me. You don't know. . . . You don't even know that I'm coming. All the conversations are like talking to yourself, the dining table alone, the mood when you break the cup you bought together, ... You don't know any of this."

"...You're right. I was the one who lied....I really didn't realize it at all, so I regret it now. Give me a chance to make amends and listen to my excuses, Taya."

Tentatively, he took his hand lightly, fortunately this time there was no resistance like before.

I took him into the room and tore off the OK bandage that I scratched. There was a wound on the tip of the white index finger, not deep, but dripping ruby-like blood was dripping.

Wipe off the blood with a clean gauze and disinfect with iodine.

"It's just the left hand, and the wound isn't that big."

I don't know if it's bragging or rebellious, but he still said that while frowning.

"The left hand doesn't hurt? Doesn't it count as an injury?...It's the same for me."

I put a bandage on it without even disinfecting it... Even if I get angry again, I don't want him to abuse myself like this.

Tear off the wrapping of the OK bandage, and stick the wound.

Put away the first aid kit, close the lid, and when I stood up to put the box back in the cabinet, Taya grabbed the corner of my clothes and held it tightly, using the hand I just bandaged for him.

"The wound will open again." Sitting back on the ground, wrapping his hand, "It hurts just looking at it, relax." Gently pull his hand away.

"...It sounds like I'm lying. Every time I think of your back when I look at the full moon, all the kindness you have done to me...It's like a lie."

"..."

In fact, I have no such intention at all, and I don't have any idea of... ignoring him.

I'm even confident that if he calls me in a stronger way—hitting me on the head like my mother or pulling my ear and shouting—I'll definitely hear it.

...However, since he is Ryo Taya, there's no way he could do that.

…Tolerance and tenderness are what he does when he likes that person.

And I took advantage of his mood.

Every fifteen nights, he excuses not to come to my house because of his tenderness to me...?

I didn't deliberately conceal the matter from him, but I didn't actively tell him either.

I want to say that I want him to know everything about Zuo Wei and tell him every day Zuo Wei spent with me.Taya is the only person I wish I could share this memory with.

"It's my fault. I said I was going to sort out the chess records at home, but I came here suddenly..."

"Don't introspect.... Don't blame yourself all the time. You're not wrong at all."

...I really want to say it, but...don't know how to say it.

Everything about Zuowei...it seems impossible to convey it...

but,

It's time to talk.

I have a feeling that... if I don't say anything, I will lose Taya. ...It turns out I made him so insecure.

"Zoe.

...Fujiwara Sawa is that guy's name. "

Taya raised her black and white eyes and looked at me.

"The first time I met him was when I was in sixth grade.

Since then, we have been together all day, until May [-]th of the second year of middle school...

We have been together for more than two years, and we are very happy every day. We have been to many places and done many things together. Of course, there are times when we quarrel, and there are times when we feel that he is annoying.

But looking back now, even the quarrels feel nostalgic.

At that time, I never thought that that guy would...disappear one day.The reason is still in me, that I am not strong enough. …Sometimes I think, if I had Torajiro’s chess skills at that time,…maybe I wouldn’t let him go like that.Two years... is really short.

He taught me Go, and he also told me about Xiu Ce.

He is a hopeless go fanatic, as long as he has go, he is satisfied. When he says he wants to play chess with him, he smiles all over his face, very simple; but when he plays chess, his face...is more beautiful than anyone else.

Zuowei is very important to me──......" People? ...Can I say that....

Zuowei is a ghost, an existence that only I can see... How should I explain the truth of this kind of truth that can only be regarded as a psychopath so that he can understand...

"... Enough is enough."

When I was worried, Taya suddenly said something like this,

"I...didn't say I wanted to know. I didn't ask anything at all,...why keep talking to myself. You don't know that I've already..."

"...Taya?"

I thought...knowing Zuo Wei's matter could make him feel at ease, but why does his expression look sadder now than before..., this kind of him discourages me, what should I do to make him feel at ease?

"...your phone is ringing."

"..." The phone vibrated in his pocket and made a Weng Weng sound.But all I'm thinking about right now is Taya, and I don't have that kind of spare time at all.So let the phone ring.

"Hurry up. Shinto. At this time, the other party must be in a hurry."

Why is he always thinking about other people's affairs...

Answer the phone, press the call button,

The voice of Mrs. Peony came from the other end of the phone,

"Shinto-kun! Father just had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. He is currently undergoing surgery. I think it would be better for you to come over..."