dizziness

"Fuck you, these dead traffic policemen know how to hide and shoot coldly!"

Just as Owen was about to speak, he was interrupted by a cursing taxi driver.It is rush hour now, and the road on the opposite side of the city is very crowded. The taxi driver may see that there is no traffic police at the intersection, so he turns around on the double solid line and looks for another way in the empty direction of the city. The traffic policeman hidden in the corner pointed to the side of the road and stopped right next to the two of them.

A few other cars were also about to move, but when they suddenly saw the police appear, they could only turn their strength into horns, honking impatiently to urge the cars ahead.

With the sound of pattering rain and the chaotic streets, Owen frowned impatiently, glanced at Ruan Miaomiao, and walked towards the path next to the school in light rain.

Ruan Miaomiao unexpectedly looked at the umbrella in her hand that she hadn't had a chance to hand out. She didn't care so much at the moment, and hurriedly followed Owen's back.

"Where are you going? What do you mean by what you just said? Tell me clearly!"

"I've made it clear enough!" Owen waved Ruan Miaomiao away and stretched out his hand, the umbrella and medicine fell in a mess on the slightly muddy road in an instant. Owen didn't raise his eyes to see Ruan Miaomiao's expression at the moment, but just stared at the ground The picture of watching Xiao Ruohan leave last night floated in my mind, maybe their relationship is like this umbrella, what Owen wants is to have someone under the same umbrella, cuddling together and walking the road ahead .

An umbrella is a world, and they cannot enter each other's world, nor can they retreat from their own world.

This person still couldn't give him what he wanted.

"Miaomiao, it's really enough between us, there is no point in entanglement like this, I want to go back to my original life, and so do you."

The moment Owen raised his eyes, he met Ruan Miaomiao's trembling pupils and that pale face. Ruan Miaomiao stared at him blankly, then dropped the umbrella in his hand in the next second, and rushed up to hold his shoulders.

Owen knew that what he threw away was only the umbrella, not his world.

"What was your original life?! What was your original life?!" Owen's shoulders were held in pain, and the person in front of him roared ferociously, "Keep looking for men again, and if you can't find them, you can go whoring?! Or What you mean is when you were with that person? Just because he suddenly appeared, I don’t care about anything?! Is it really more important than now?!”

"Yes! Maybe it's not as important as the present! But it's more important than the future! Because we can't have a future at all!"

Owen roared with bloodshot eyes, and Ruan Miaomiao was stunned for a moment, and the strength holding his shoulders softened, and he looked at him with a desolate expression: "Why is there no future? Aren't we always fine? If it wasn't for him... "

"Okay?! Do you really feel okay?!" Owen roared, walking back and forth non-stop, wiping the rain on his face, the innocence on Ruan Miaomiao's face now even made him feel disgusted, "Ruan Miaomiao , have you ever found out how cruel you are?! Your love is so empty that I feel that it has nothing to do with me! Yes, I love you, but have you considered my feelings? You have done everything They're all so selfish!"

Ruan Miaomiao's face was a little more gloomy than before, and she sneered coldly, her tone was like a sharp knife: "I'm cruel? I'm selfish? What about you! You spent the night with that man! Are you not cruel? Unselfish?! Have you considered my feelings again?!"

Owen didn't intend to explain anything, because the problem between them could not be solved by explaining a misunderstanding.

"Miaomiao, don't you understand? You can't give me what I want," Owen calmed down a little, looked at him with melancholy eyes, raised his finger and pointed to his face, "Look at me, see clearly, I have already I'm old, how much time can I spend with you to play this kind of emotional game with no results, I just want a stable life, someone can stay by my side until I die, do you understand?"

"I don't understand! Why...how is it a game between us?! You said you loved me, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did," Owen smiled sadly, "but, do you love me?"

"I……"

Ruan Miaomiao was suddenly speechless, and looked at Owen in a daze. It seemed that two or three gray hairs could be seen in the wet black hair. He seemed to have suddenly realized the meaning of Owen's tone. Here, this man seemed to be much older and more pitiful than when the two met for the first time in just an instant.

He didn't speak because the words in his mouth had become weighty, even heavy.

Owen smiled and shook his head sarcastically, turned and left without looking at him again.

"I love you."

Feeling his back sinking, the breath from the pavement was that Ruan Miaomiao had hugged his shoulders from behind. Owen couldn't see his expression, but the voice that appeared in his ear was extremely blurred by the sound of the small rain.

This person's embrace had once given him strength and warmth when he was vulnerable, but at this moment, Owen only felt helpless, with ice-like coldness.

"It's not me you love," Owen gently took his hand away, turned to look at him, swallowed his throat, "it's just me who loves you..."

Ruan Miaomiao saw the disappointment in his eyes, held Owen's hand almost in a panic, and shook her head vigorously: "No! No! I love you, I figured it out! No matter what happened between you and that person, I, I Don't even care!"

"Okay, even if you love me, how long can you love me? One year, two years? Ten years or 20 years? When I become a real old man with gray hair and you are in your prime, by then you Will you still love me? Have you thought about it?"

"..."

Ruan Miaomiao pursed her lips and said nothing, which Owen had already thought of. The distance between them was not only the 22-year gap in age, but also various objective problems brought about by age. There was no way to avoid it, let alone escape.

Owen broke away from Ruan Miaomiao's cold palm, stroked his trembling shoulders, stared at him and smiled, his smile paled in the rain: "Miaomiao, do you know that you are still so young, and many unexpected things will happen in your life? I met a lot of different people, I... just one of them, just like me more than 20 years ago, I never thought that I would meet you one day, you will gradually mature and know yourself Want something, and also understand what love is, yes, you will change one day, so what should I do..."

"Why do you always fucking think I will change?!! I won't change! No!"

Ruan Miaomiao roared maniacally, and kicked over the trash can on the street uncontrollably.

"You will, because you have changed."

After Owen finished speaking sourly and choked with sobs, he picked up the umbrella that belonged to Ruan Miaomiao, stuffed it into his hands, and returned the world that belonged to him to him. In the mud, my vision was hazy, and my cheeks were hot, I don't know if it was the warm rain or the tears that were about to lose temperature.

Yes, that youthful boy, that boy who would blush because of his toughness, that boy who couldn't utter a word of foul language, and was so honest that he could use a handkerchief...

Ruan Miaomiao, who was as pure as an angel, has changed.

Holding the umbrella, Ruan Miaomiao stayed where she was, and didn't see Owen's expression when he left, because his eyes were fixed on the ground, on the litter of rubbish.

That was an act he had never done before, just like what he said that day hurt Owen. It's not that he didn't realize that he had changed, but he just thought it was because he had grown up and had the right to act for his own emotions. No matter what he said or did, he even felt that the distance between him and this man had shortened, instead of...like Owen's back being gradually engulfed by the rain, getting farther and farther away.

"I've changed!! But why did I change!" Ruan Miaomiao threw away the umbrella in her hand again, and forcibly squeezed into another world where both sides suffered, "It's you! It's you who disrupted my original simple life! It's you Little by little, I changed me! It was your giving that made me understand what love is! How could you leave so irresponsibly! You said what should you do, then I ask you what should I do?! Because of you And what should I do if I become like this?!"

Ruan Miaomiao shouted uncontrollably in the rain. Now that the rush hour on the street has passed, there are fewer pedestrians and vehicles. People rushing with umbrellas can't help but look at this young man who lost the world in surprise. No one notices that it is not far away. Among the crowd, there was a person who was still walking tremblingly, his face was already full of tears, and he couldn't make a sound.

"Owen!!"

This was the first time Ruan Miaomiao called his name. Owen stopped in front of the car, but he didn't dare to turn his head, because if he turned back, he would never turn back.

"Owen! If you really love me, why don't you choose to believe me again," Ruan Miaomiao yelled at Owen standing across the street. He really wanted to run over and hug the man in his arms, but Owen's resolute figure made him He flinched, "Give me some time, five years, no, three years! No matter how long it takes, let me prove that I really love you and that I will not change, okay? Please...give me a chance, don't Walk……"

Ruan Miaomiao's ending has become choked up, Owen clenched the car door handle tightly, tears mixed with the rain on the back of his hand, Owen's lip has been bitten by himself, bleeding out, it's not that he doesn't want to give Ruan Miaomiao time, but he really can't At the same time, I can't afford Ruan Miaomiao's so-called love.

Owen finally opened the car door and sat in, and quickly started the car and drove into the driveway away from the city.

Ruan Miaomiao was standing on the opposite side of the street into the city, and their endings were still on two different tracks. The dazzling double solid line in the center may be the 22 years that cannot be crossed by each other.

In Ruan Miaomiao's eyes, Owen walked so simply that he didn't even leave a look of reluctance. Ruan Miaomiao looked at Owen's car, but could no longer see the people inside. Alone, let yourself be soaked, with cold hands and feet.

Owen's eyes were blurred with tears, and he turned the rearview mirror aside, unwilling to see Ruan Miaomiao's lonely expression and figure in the mess.

The car drove to the intersection ahead, after a splash of green light, the red light turned on, Owen hurriedly stopped the car, and stopped at the first one in front of the line.

Ruan Miaomiao was still standing and watching. When the green light turned on, the rearview mirror in Owen's car returned to its original position at some point.

The side-by-side vehicles started to drive, only the line headed by Owen remained silent for a long time, and no one knew what happened. The first car stopped in place without moving, and there was a urging horn honking from behind. The policeman also noticed the problem, and seemed to be about to come over when Owen's car started.

Almost at the moment Owen started the car, Ruan Miaomiao closed her eyes in despair and turned her head to leave. After taking the first step, she heard a sudden brake from behind.

Ruan Miaomiao turned her head in shock. It seemed that Owen's car had just stepped on the accelerator. As soon as he turned the steering wheel, the traffic police pointed him to the place where the taxi was fined.

Owen got out of the car with his ID. The driver who was originally parked behind Owen drove slowly across the intersection, stretched out his hand from the car window, and gave a thumbs up in Owen's direction.

Ruan Miaomiao smiled while weeping.